[DRAFT] Not to the Manner Born

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

An issue that came to my mind in a very random way, after reading a bit about the "finishing schools" in Switzerland.

Draft 2

[description]@@NAME@@ has instituted mandatory etiquette lessons for all citizens, but it seems many @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ are failing the stringent tests offered at the end of the 12-week course. Failure in the etiquette lessons also has downstream consequences for people's employability, especially in the service sector. Frustrated citizens have now come to your door to politely beseech you for swift action.

[validity]took Option 2 of #853

1. [option]"This is f***ing ridiculous, I am telling you!" screams @@RANDOMNAME@@, a server from Dum-Dum Dumplings, taking off @@HIS@@ apron and slamming it on your desk. "This is the third time I am taking this bloody etiquette course and yesterday I failed again just because I put the frickin' forks on the right side - which, by the way, is the RIGHT side, alright? I have more important matters to attend to, like whether the numbskull on Table 2 could figure out how to uncork the wine or should I also f***ing do that for His Lordship. For Violet's sake, make these courses optional and let us go back to our work!"

[effect]service at @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ establishments is fast and furious

[option validity]alcohol is not banned

1. [option]"This is f***ing ridiculous, I am telling you!" screams @@RANDOMNAME@@, a server from Dum-Dum Dumplings, taking off @@HIS@@ apron and slamming it on your desk. "This is the third time I am taking this bloody etiquette course and yesterday I failed again just because I put the frickin' forks on the right side - which, by the way, is the RIGHT side, alright? I have more important matters to attend to, like whether the numbskull on Table 2 could figure out how to uncork the apple cider or should I also f***ing do that for His Lordship. For Violet's sake, abolish these courses and let us go back to our work!"

[effect]service at @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ establishments is fast and furious

[option validity]alcohol is banned

2. [option]"Ahem, let us not be hasty here," interjects @@RANDOMNAME@@, a receptionist from @@ANIMAL@@ Star Hotel, coughing into @@HIS@@ hands and wiping them on @@HIS@@ jacket. "I think we solely fail in this course because we need to attend the lessons after work in the evening or on weekends, and then we are too tired to concentrate or learn anything. If we were guaranteed a paid leave for the duration of the course, I am sure we would be more incentivized to learn."

[effect]@@NAME@@ has discovered that civility actually costs something

3. [option]"Frankly, I think your teaching methods are the problem here, my dear," chimes in Hildegard Rottermeier, the headmistress of the Institut Château Gruyere finishing school in Helvetland, adjusting her wire-framed glasses with a subtle and graceful gesture. "For over a century, our institute has educated a large number of young ladies destined to become princesses, duchesses, queens, or the proprietors of high-end businesses that serve a distinguished clientele. We have meticulously equipped them with the most impeccable manners over the years, preparing them for entry into high society. With your permission and funding, we could make our exquisite mentors and their teaching methods available to you, reforming and restructuring your etiquette education. I dare say we will start seeing some magnificent results in no time."

[effect]@@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ learn to maintain good posture by carrying a book on their heads

[description]@@NAME@@ has instituted mandatory etiquette lessons for all citizens, but it seems many @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ are failing the stringent tests offered at the end of the 12-week course. Failure in the etiquette lessons also has downstream consequences for people's employability, especially in the service sector. Frustrated citizens have now come to your door to politely beseech you for swift action.

[validity]took Option 2 of #853

1. [option]"This is f***ing ridiculous, I am telling you!" screams @@RANDOMNAME@@, a server from Dum-Dum Dumplings, taking off @@HIS@@ apron and slamming it on your desk. "This is the third time I am taking this bloody etiquette course and yesterday I failed again just because I put the frickin' forks on the right side - which, by the way, is the RIGHT side, alright? I have more important matters to attend to, like whether the numbskull on Table 2 could figure out how to uncork the wine or should I also f***ing do that for His Lordship. For Violet's sake, abolish these courses and let us go back to our work!"

[effect]service at @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ establishments is fast and furious

[option validity]alcohol is not banned

1. [option]"This is f***ing ridiculous, I am telling you!" screams @@RANDOMNAME@@, a server from Dum-Dum Dumplings, taking off @@HIS@@ apron and slamming it on your desk. "This is the third time I am taking this bloody etiquette course and yesterday I failed again just because I put the frickin' forks on the right side - which, by the way, is the RIGHT side, alright? I have more important matters to attend to, like whether the numbskull on Table 2 could figure out how to uncork the apple cider or should I also f***ing do that for His Lordship. For Violet's sake, abolish these courses and let us go back to our work!"

[effect]service at @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ establishments is fast and furious

[option validity]alcohol is banned

2. [option]"Ahem, let us not be hasty here," interjects @@RANDOMNAME@@, a receptionist from @@ANIMAL@@ Star Hotel, coughing into @@HIS@@ hands and wiping them on @@HIS@@ jacket. "I think we solely fail in this course because we need to attend the lessons after work in the evening or on weekends, and then we are too tired to concentrate or learn anything. If we were guaranteed a paid leave for the duration of the course, I am sure we would be more incentivized to learn."

[effect]@@NAME@@ has discovered that civility actually costs something

3. [option]"Frankly, I think your teaching methods are the problem here, my dear," chimes in Hildegard Rottermeier, the headmistress of the Institut Château Gruyere finishing school in Helvetland, adjusting her wire-framed glasses with a subtle and graceful gesture. "For over a century, our institute has educated a large number of young ladies destined to become princesses, duchesses, queens, or the proprietors of high-end businesses that serve a distinguished clientele. We have meticulously equipped them with the most impeccable manners over the years, preparing them for entry into high society. With your permission and funding, we could make our exquisite mentors and their teaching methods available to you, reforming and restructuring your etiquette education. I dare say we will start seeing some magnificent results in no time."

[effect]@@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ learn to maintain good posture by carrying a book on their heads

[Honeydewistania]

I think you should remove the f out of all the intended fucks in option one, to make is a bit more ambiguous. Otherwise I’m not seeing many problems.

[Australian rePublic]

Considering I was fired from one of the world's largest hotel chains where I was internshipping for free because of my grooming standards, irrespective of the fact that I worked in an office hidden away from the public, I don't think a lack of etiquette lessons will help one's employability in the service industry. If you inclined to fail etiquette classes, then a lack of etiquitte classes may make it possible for you to find a job in a place with moronically over-zealous rules, but you're not gonna last long in that job. The only thing that abolishing etiquitte classes will achieve is a slightly lower turn-over rate (and I say slightly because hospitality is a shitty job where most staff are underpaid, meaning that a hotel with thousands of employees at one time (like where I used to work) would be lucky to have more than two hundred employees who've stayed there for a year over the entire life of the hotel

[Jutsa]

I love this.

Thank you for your beautiful drafts, FuF.

[Noahs Second Country]

Option 1 is great, lol.

who has thankfully covered @@HIS@@ mouth with @@HIS@@ hands while coughing, but then proceeded to wipe @@HIS@@ palms on @@HIS@@ jacket

This part reads a little weird to me. May I suggest a shorter approach of

, coughing into @@HIS@@ hands and wiping them on @@HIS@@ jacket.

Although that may characterize the receptionist a bit differently than intended.

[Jutsa]

IKR? Option one is perfect. I can't stress enough how much life this sentence alone would beathe into Nationstates as a whole.

I have more important matters to attend to, like whether the numbskull on Table 2 could figure out how to uncork the wine or should I also f***ing do that for His Lordship.

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

Option 1 is great, lol.

who has thankfully covered @@HIS@@ mouth with @@HIS@@ hands while coughing, but then proceeded to wipe @@HIS@@ palms on @@HIS@@ jacket

This part reads a little weird to me. May I suggest a shorter approach of

, coughing into @@HIS@@ hands and wiping them on @@HIS@@ jacket.

Although that may characterize the receptionist a bit differently than intended.

Implemented, thanks!

IKR? Option one is perfect. I can't stress enough how much life this sentence alone would beathe into Nationstates as a whole.

I have more important matters to attend to, like whether the numbskull on Table 2 could figure out how to uncork the wine or should I also f***ing do that for His Lordship.

Thanks so much for the compliment

But your emphasis on this part also made me realize that this option will not be valid for nations where alcohol is banned, due to the wine reference. So I created a doppelganger option where apple cider replaces wine. If I recall correctly, I had once bought a bottle of non-alcoholic apple cider and I believe the bottle had a cork as well? I found it a bit too fancy for a simple non-alcoholic beverage at the time, but it is a thing. Does it sound too unusual?

[Noahs Second Country]

But your emphasis on this part also made me realize that this option will not be valid for nations where alcohol is banned, due to the wine reference. So I created a doppelganger option where apple cider replaces wine. If I recall correctly, I had once bought a bottle of non-alcoholic apple cider and I believe the bottle had a cork as well? I found it a bit too fancy for a simple non-alcoholic beverage at the time, but it is a thing. Does it sound too unusual?

From my experience apple cider with a cork is pretty common, it doesn't seem out of place here.

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

But your emphasis on this part also made me realize that this option will not be valid for nations where alcohol is banned, due to the wine reference. So I created a doppelganger option where apple cider replaces wine. If I recall correctly, I had once bought a bottle of non-alcoholic apple cider and I believe the bottle had a cork as well? I found it a bit too fancy for a simple non-alcoholic beverage at the time, but it is a thing. Does it sound too unusual?

From my experience apple cider with a cork is pretty common, it doesn't seem out of place here.

Great, thanks!

[Minskiev]

Looks pretty good to me.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Because this is an immediate consequence issue I don't think you narratively ought to have an option that just reverses and scraps the decision. I'd suggest option 1 being changed to suggest some other solution.

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

Because this is an immediate consequence issue I don't think you narratively ought to have an option that just reverses and scraps the decision. I'd suggest option 1 being changed to suggest some other solution.

I don't know how well this quick and dirty solution works for you, but I made the person in Option 1 suggest that the courses be optional. Does that make the cut?

[Candlewhisper Archive]

I know it seems a shame to lose the swearing fellow, but it seems to me that if you've just answered an issue saying you want more politeness in your nation, then there's nothing to be gained from having an option that changes direction. Instead I'd expect 2-3 options on how to fix the problem of people not passing the tests without going back towards rudeness.

Common sense would suggest that these options be along the lines of:

1) More teaching of etiquette.
2) Increase penalties for failure.

I'd also suggest that we need a REASON why folk are failing, especially in nations that are very polite in their stats. I'd suggest maybe changing the premise so that it's a particular subset of the population that keeps failing.

For example, if the issue was about immigrant Bigtopians having much higher failure rates, then there could be assertions that the test being culturally biased, or that there's endemic racism in the testing establishment, or that the Bigtopians are a rude people we can do without, etc.

[Jutsa]

I still think option 1 could hypothetically stay as a "make the test easier" option.
Not that that opinion hasn't already existed for several other tests, but I'd hate to see that option go, even if it's an amusing final option.