Keep Me Appraised?
[debate] Your morning cabinet meeting was derailed by an impromptu rant by your Minister of Culture and Snobbery, who began lamenting over an art sale @@HE@@ attempted to commence, that did not go as planned. Despite collective eye rolls from everyone present, @@HE@@ continues his tirade...
[option 1] "...and the champagne wasn't even cold! Anyway, so, last night I brought the Vango painting to Christby's auctioneers with intention to auction, along with an appraisal saying it was worth a fortune in @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@, and genuine, only to be told by THEIR expert that it was likely completed by someone in Vango's studio and worth a quarter of the value! I demand compensation from the gallery I purchased that painting from, and a strict licensing and training regimen enacted for all appraisers, be it for art, jewellery, houses – anything! It's just not fair to the wealt…regular Joes like me!"
[effect] every diamond ring sold is accompanied by a twenty-five page analysis and a waiver.
[option 2] "You can't be serious," snorts the dubious gallery owner and appraiser in question who sold the Vango, while hiding a paint-by-numbers @@HE@@ was working on. "I took one or even TWO correspondence courses back in the 1980s about fine art and its value! And besides, look at the back of the appraisal, it has a disclaimer, saying it's only MY opinion! You can't hold my gallery accountable, I made no guarantees about authenticity or value when I sold that Vango! Now, can I interest you in this Da Finci? It's priceless, I promise you!"
[effect] pieces of iron pyrite are believed to be worth their weight in gold.
[option 3] "The answer is obvious," chimes in the Minister for Big Government. "GOVERNMENT! Let's just establish a new agency to protect the consumer, and have everything evaluated that's put up for sale in @@NAME@@ worth over a certain threshold, to ensure legitimacy, and real value! That'll solve everyone's problems, after all, everyone loves the government, right?"
[effect] pricy sales on iBay have ground to a halt as every item gets screened and processed by a new government mega agency.
[validity] Must have Internet.
[option 4] "Oh please, who the hell loves the government," offers the Minister of Efficacy and Shortcuts, to the derision of the prior minister. "Just ban the practice of appraisals completely, that way we stop any yahoo from giving their two cents, nobody gets screwed by them, and people can sell things at market levels without stupid pieces of paper or uneducated opinions getting in the way." @@HE@@ reclines in his chair. "Nice. And easy."
[effect] insurance claims adjusters now fear jail time for valuing their clients' homes.
EDIT: removed option 5; submitted 05/25/20