[SUBMITTED - 5/18/2020] A Hot Potato

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

Draft 2
[description]Thanks to generous agricultural subsidies, @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ farmers have produced a record number of potatoes this year. But this also means that @@NAME@@ is facing the biggest potato surplus of its history and as usual, you are asked to step in to find a way of getting rid of these potatoes.

[validity]fairly large agricultural industry, is a capitalist nation

1. [option]"This is the seventh day in a row my old lady cooked potato soup for dinner and I can't take it anymore!" clamours @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@, a farmer, dejectedly leaning on a yardstick. "We have just tons and tons of potatoes and they will all rot if we cannot sell them. @@LEADER@@, the government needs to buy them from us, otherwise a year's hard work will go to waste."

[effect]major cities run on potato batteries

2. [option]"We can certainly come up with a more clever idea before we spend taxpayer money on potatoes!" exclaims @@RANDOMNAME_1@@, your Minister of Creative Solutions, juggling three potatoes and eventually dropping them on your desk with a loud thud. "We just need to motivate people to buy and eat more potatoes. How about a government-sponsored cartoon series where the superhero derives his strength from eating potatoes and then beats all the bad guys? I can see his name written everywhere in neon lights... The Amazing Potato Man! What do you think?"

[effect]@@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ mothers tell their kids to eat potato chips because they supposedly contain a lot of iron

3. [option]"This clearly shows poor planning on the part of our farmers," grunts @@RANDOMNAME@@, the leader of the Socialist People's Party, picking up the potatoes that @@RANDOMNAME_1@@ dropped. "Of course we will have a surplus if everyone decides to plant potatoes for goodness's sake! The key is to diversify! If your neighbor Farmer Joe is planting potatoes this year, maybe you should switch to celery instead. That's why we need a centrally planned economy. No surplus, no shortages - just eternal bliss and abundance!"

[option validity]capitalist nations

[effect]farmers in arid regions are puzzled with the official instructions that tell them to plant rice this year

[policy change]Socialism instituted

Draft 1.1
[description]Thanks to generous agricultural subsidies, @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ farmers have produced a record number of potatoes this year. But this also means that @@NAME@@ is facing the biggest potato surplus of its history and as usual, you are asked to step in to find a way of getting rid of these potatoes.

[validity]fairly large agricultural industry

1. [option]"This is the seventh day in a row my old lady cooked potato soup for dinner and I can't take it anymore!" clamours @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@, a farmer, dejectedly leaning on a yardstick. "We have just tons and tons of potatoes and they will all rot if we cannot sell them. @@LEADER@@, the government needs to buy them from us, otherwise a year's hard work will go to waste."

[effect]major cities run on potato batteries

2. [option]"We can certainly come up with a more clever idea before we spend taxpayer money on potatoes!" exclaims @@RANDOMNAME_1@@, your Minister of Creative Solutions, juggling three potatoes and eventually dropping them on your desk with a loud thud. "We just need to motivate people to buy and eat more potatoes. How about a government-sponsored cartoon series where the superhero derives his strength from eating potatoes and then beats all the bad guys? I can see his name written everywhere in neon lights... The Amazing Potato Man! What do you think?"

[effect]@@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ mothers tell their kids to eat potato chips because they supposedly contain a lot of iron

3. [option]"This clearly shows poor planning on the part of our farmers," grunts @@RANDOMNAME@@, the leader of the Socialist People's Party, picking up the potatoes that @@RANDOMNAME_1@@ dropped. "Of course we will have a surplus if everyone decides to plant potatoes for goodness's sake! The key is to diversify! If your neighbor Farmer Joe is planting potatoes this year, maybe you should switch to celery instead. That's why we need a centrally planned economy. No surplus, no shortages - just eternal bliss and abundance!"

[option validity]capitalist nations

[effect]farmers in arid regions are puzzled with the official instructions that tell them to plant rice this year

[policy change]Socialism instituted

3. [option]"This clearly shows poor planning on the part of our Agricultural Department," grunts @@RANDOMNAME@@, an opposition leader, picking up the potatoes that @@RANDOMNAME_1@@ dropped. "Of course we will have a surplus if the State recklessly keeps subsidizing every farmer with zero attention to profitability or feasibility. Why should farmers think about the downstream consequences of what they are cultivating if the State always steps in to save their hide? In a capitalist economy, this problem would never occur, because farmers would know that they and only they would be responsible for their failures, so they would make wiser decisions. Isn't it time to ditch the nanny state and let the economy take its natural course?"

[option validity]communist nations

[effect]the legend has it that one can find the way to @@LEADER@@'s office by following the trail of potatoes dumped by the roadside

[policy change]Capitalism instituted

4. [option]"I am surprised that nobody is considering the obvious solution!" interjects @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Commerce, putting Proudly Produced in @@NAME@@ labels on the potatoes. "Why don't we just try to sell these potatoes to our allies in @@REGION@@ very cheaply? Sure, farmers will not be happy with the loss in revenue, but it is better than nothing and maybe next time they think more carefully about which crops to plant?"

[effect]farmers in @@NAME@@ are reportedly fighting over who should be planting Kinmemai Premium rice this year

[description]Thanks to generous agricultural subsidies, @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ farmers have produced a record number of potatoes this year. But this also means that @@NAME@@ is facing the biggest potato surplus of its history and as usual, you are asked to step in to find a way of getting rid of these potatoes.

[validity]fairly large agricultural industry

1. [option]"This is the seventh day in a row my old lady cooked potato soup for dinner and I can't take it anymore!" clamours @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@, a farmer, dejectedly leaning on a yardstick. "We have just tons and tons of potatoes and they will all rot if we cannot sell them. @@LEADER@@, the government needs to buy them from us, otherwise a year's hard work will go to waste."

[effect]the grandfather clock in @@LEADER@@'s office has been replaced by a potato clock

2. [option]"We can certainly come up with a more clever idea before we spend taxpayer money on potatoes!" exclaims @@RANDOMNAME_1@@, your Minister of Creative Solutions, juggling three potatoes and eventually dropping them on your desk with a loud thud. "We just need to motivate people to buy and eat more potatoes. How about a government-sponsored cartoon series where the superhero derives his strength from eating potatoes and then beats all the bad guys? I can see his name written everywhere in neon lights... The Amazing Potato Man! What do you think?"

[effect]@@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ mothers tell their kids to eat potato chips because they supposedly contain a lot of iron

3. [option]"This clearly shows poor planning on the part of our farmers," grunts @@RANDOMNAME@@, the leader of the Socialist People's Party, picking up the potatoes that @@RANDOMNAME_1@@ dropped. "Of course we will have a surplus if everyone decides to plant potatoes for goodness's sake! The key is to diversify! If your neighbor Farmer Joe is planting potatoes this year, maybe you should switch to celery instead. That's why we need a centrally planned economy. No surplus, no shortages - just eternal bliss and abundance!"

[option validity]capitalist nations

[effect]farmers in arid regions are puzzled with the official instructions that tell them to plant rice this year

[policy change]Socialism instituted

3. [option]"This clearly shows poor planning on the part of our Agricultural Department," grunts @@RANDOMNAME@@, an opposition leader, picking up the potatoes that @@RANDOMNAME_1@@ dropped. "Of course we will have a surplus if the State recklessly keeps subsidizing every farmer with zero attention to profitability or feasibility. Why should farmers think about the downstream consequences of what they are cultivating if the State always steps in to save their hide? In a capitalist economy, this problem would never occur, because farmers would know that they and only they would be responsible for their failures, so they would make wiser decisions. Isn't it time to ditch the nanny state and let the economy take its natural course?"

[option validity]communist nations

[effect]the legend has it that one can find the way to @@LEADER@@'s office by following the trail of potatoes dumped by the roadside

[policy change]Capitalism instituted

4. [option]"I am surprised that nobody is considering the obvious solution!" interjects @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Commerce, putting Proudly Produced in @@NAME@@ labels on the potatoes. "Why don't we just try to sell these potatoes to our allies in @@REGION@@ very cheaply? Sure, farmers will not be happy with the loss in revenue, but it is better than nothing and maybe next time they think more carefully about which crops to plant?"

[effect]farmers in @@NAME@@ are reportedly fighting over who should be planting Kinmemai Premium rice this year

[Australian rePublic]

Why would anyone choose anything but option 4?

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

Why would anyone choose anything but option 4?

One disadvantage I can think of is that it will leave the farmers destitute, because they will make very little money on the potatoes. Also, it is not certain that an interested buyer will be found before the potatoes rot - though the option does not explicitly say that.

[Lelscrep]

Why would anyone choose anything but option 4?

Isolationists, maybe they're more interested in paying their farmers well.

[Australian rePublic]

Fair enough. Look into the Chinchilla Melon Festival if you want any ideas on how to combat excess agricultural produce

[Ko-oren]

@ the above conversation: option 4 doesn't solve the problem, it just kicks the can down the road for the next harvest season. I can see plenty of nations going for 1-3. Personally, I'd go for 3 if it didn't come with the socialism rhetoric. Encouraging diversification without leaving farmers without a clue as to what to do.

The effect line for option 1 is pretty weak. How about "major cities run on potato batteries" or something similar? The effect line for 2 isn't very strong either, it needs a little snark. The effect lines for 3-5 are great.

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

@ the above conversation: option 4 doesn't solve the problem, it just kicks the can down the road for the next harvest season. I can see plenty of nations going for 1-3. Personally, I'd go for 3 if it didn't come with the socialism rhetoric. Encouraging diversification without leaving farmers without a clue as to what to do.

The effect line for option 1 is pretty weak. How about "major cities run on potato batteries" or something similar? The effect line for 2 isn't very strong either, it needs a little snark. The effect lines for 3-5 are great.

Thanks, I really like your suggestion for the effect line of Option 1, so it is implemented.

I haven't changed the effect line for Option 2 (yet). This was actually a reference to Popeye, but I don't know if it was too obscure. Basically, it was a vicious cycle where Popeye was designed to derive his strength from spinach, because scientists at the time thought that spinach contained 10x more iron than it actually did due to a funny decimal point misplacement error. In turn, Popeye has reinforced the myth that spinach contains a lot of iron, so much so that mothers have often cited him as an example to motivate their kids to eat spinach. ("Look, if you eat spinach, you'll grow up and be as strong as Popeye!") Heck, I lived in Turkey and even my mom used the same argument. So it is not a US-centric thing either.

But I can find another effect line if mothers using superheroes to decide on a diet for their kids doesn't sound funny enough.

[Electrum]

But I can find another effect line if mothers using superheroes to decide on a diet for their kids doesn't sound funny enough.

What about "potato chips are the newest superfood trend"?

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

But I can find another effect line if mothers using superheroes to decide on a diet for their kids doesn't sound funny enough.

What about "potato chips are the newest superfood trend"?

Well, the point I was trying to make was that the popularity of potatoes should be due to the superhero The Amazing Potato Man
Hence the reference to supposedly high iron content of potatoes.

Seriously, does it not work at all?

OK, how about something like:

[effect]kids tell their moms they should eat potato chips to become as strong as the Amazing Potato Man

Is this better?

[Electrum]

What about "potato chips are the newest superfood trend"?

Well, the point I was trying to make was that the popularity of potatoes should be due to the superhero The Amazing Potato Man
Hence the reference to supposedly high iron content of potatoes.

Seriously, does it not work at all?

OK, how about something like:

[effect]kids tell their moms they should eat potato chips to become as strong as the Amazing Potato Man

Is this better?

It was a double-meaning pun I mean if you want to make it more explicit you can say "potato chips are the newest 'super' food" as well.

I like it but it reads a little bit ambiguously, it sounds like the kids are telling their moms that the moms should eat potato chips.

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

Well, the point I was trying to make was that the popularity of potatoes should be due to the superhero The Amazing Potato Man
Hence the reference to supposedly high iron content of potatoes.

Seriously, does it not work at all?

OK, how about something like:

[effect]kids tell their moms they should eat potato chips to become as strong as the Amazing Potato Man

Is this better?

It was a double-meaning pun I mean if you want to make it more explicit you can say "potato chips are the newest 'super' food" as well.

I like it but it reads a little bit ambiguously, it sounds like the kids are telling their moms that the moms should eat potato chips.

Haha, sorry, I didn't get that joke, but probably because I am a blockhead.

Superfood - it should have been more obvious to me.

But even then, it doesn't sound very funny.

How about

[effect]kids argue that they should always eat potato chips to become as strong as the Amazing Potato Man

it gets rid of the ambiguity.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Option 4 makes no sense to me.

If there are buyers available -- internationally or otherwise -- then there isn't a surplus.

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

Option 4 makes no sense to me.

If there are buyers available -- internationally or otherwise -- then there isn't a surplus.

Fair enough.

Should I get rid of that option, or turn it into one that says that @@NAME@@ should give away the potatoes for free?

[Candlewhisper Archive]

For sure, though I think a distinction needs to be made between nations with planned economies and ones where the potatoes are considered the property of the producers till they are sold. This applies not just to giving them away to other nations, but also with regards to the government "buying" the excess from suppliers.

Maybe some doppelganger options are in order.

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

Alright, I restricted this issue to capitalist nations only, because it was hard for me to spin the narrative in a way that accommodated nations with centrally-planned economies.

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

Submitted

Thanks for the comments & suggestions

[Australian rePublic]

Good Luck!

[Dhaoine]

Seriously this completely screwed my economy? Cuz I decided to not stop subsidizing farmers? What the fuck

[Bears Armed]

You know the possibility that you missed? Turn the potatoes into vodka/poteen/[local name] -- or just into 'industrial' alcohol, if you have prohibition in place -- for local use &/or export...

[Verdant Haven]

Seriously this completely screwed my economy? Cuz I decided to not stop subsidizing farmers?

The option you selected didn't just "not stop" subsidizing farmers - it was the suggestion from the socialist ambassador that says "you need a centrally planned economy." Instituting a centrally planned economy inherently eliminates capitalism and moves you to a socialist system - an action which tends to have a significant economic impact at the time of implementation.