The Issue:
A recent outbreak of physical altercations at high schools across @@NAME@@ has gotten out of hand, and an expose on last night's episode of "Eye on @@NAME@@" has led groups of people demanding immediate action from your office.
Option 1:
"I'm a teacher, not a referee!" cries a visibly nervous @@RANDOMNAME@@, a teacher at a @@CAPITAL@@ area high school. "Just last week I saw a child get Bigtopian-suplexed through a vending machine. This madness has to stop! I don't care if we have to resort to extreme measures, just get this over with before someone gets killed!" @@HE@@ jumps nervously as @@HE@@ notices a student in the room.
Effect:
@@NAME@@ schools go on lockdown and loud sirens go off any time a student holds hands with someone.
Option 2:
"Dude, it's like, the perfect way for us to blow off some steam," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, who has been in and won six fights this week. "I mean, it's better than us keeping that inside us and then exploding, and you wouldn't want that to happen. Just give us time out of the day to let us do our thing, man. You won't regret it."
Effect:
A person entering a @@NAME@@ high school stands a very real chance of getting powerbombed through a locker.
Option 3:
And then, a greasy man with a nice suit struts in like he owns the place. "What's this I hear about fighting, pal?" asks @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Kennedy, the top pro wrestling promoter in @@NAME@@. "If you allow us, we could put cameras in every school and film the action! We could make millions on Pay-Per-View, and hell, maybe one or more of those kids could be the next big star! Now let us do it, dammit!"
Effect:
Millions of @@DEMONYM@@ wrestling fans are waiting for Monday night, when 20 students are expected to brawl in a School Bus Bunkhouse Stampede battle royal.