[DRAFT] Projectile Dysfunction

[LO SANTANo]

1st draft

[title] Projectile Dysfunction

[desc] After a high-ranking official died of cannon recoil in military training, questions over equipment quality have arisen.

[validity] Not valid for nations with no military

[option] “Come on!” pleads coworker @@RANDOMNAME@@.”The good equipment is always shipped to the frontlines while we have to deal with untested prototypes! You must allow us to use the same equipment as they do!
[effect] militaries run out of equipment before the war starts

[option] “That’s not enough” says the mother of the lost soldier. “We need stricter regulations too. The equipment might not come in as fast, but our nation’s lives are much more important.”
[effect] the war ends before the equipment can be made

[option] “Bunch of useless tools” moans renowned pacifist, @@RANDOMNAME@@. “Why should we give money to these dimwits?”
“Don’t know how to use a cannon” @@HE@@ mutters. “Slash military spending at once!”
[effect] IQ tests are used to decide budgets

[option] A groovy businessman interjects. “These weapons are old school. Y’all need to use the all new 360 Mega Blaster! It comes equipped with rapid fire, quick reload, and zero recoil! Oh the bullets are made out of foam you say?
[effect] soldiers are advised not to aim for the eye
[option_validity] Not valid for nations without private industry

[option] “Wouldn’t it be easier to just import from elsewhere?” suggests @@RANDOMNAME@@. “I hear Bigtopia has some excellent weaponry.”
[effect] National pride is asserted using international weapons
[option_validity] Not valid for autarkic nations

[option] “If you really want to dominate on the world stage,” advises @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Creative Solutions, “we should just deploy AI’s. Think about it. Nobody will be able to stop these ultra-destructive weapons. We will shred anybody in our path to pieces. MWAHAHAHAHA!”
[effect] Foreign spies take down opponents with the click of a button

[title] Projectile Dysfunction

[desc] Yesterday, the military was supposed to be giving a tour of their training facilities to a visiting government official. Unfortunately, when they tried to show him how the cannons worked, one of the cannons rocketed off of its frame and killed the official. Several civilians, government workers, and business people have come streaming into your office to weigh in on the issue of equipment quality.

[validity] Not valid for nations with no military

[option] “Come on!” pleads coworker @@RANDOMNAME@@.”The good equipment is always shipped to the frontlines while we have to deal with untested prototypes! You must allow us to use the same equipment as they do!
[effect] militaries run out of equipment before the war starts

[option] “That’s not enough” says the mother of the lost soldier. “We need stricter regulations too. The equipment might not come in as fast, but our nation’s lives are much more important.”
[effect] the war ends before the equipment can be made

[option] “Bunch of useless tools” moans renowned pacifist, @@RANDOMNAME@@. “Why should we give money to these dimwits?” “Don’t know how to use a cannon” @@HE@@ mutters. “Slash military spending at once!”
[effect] IQ tests are used to decide budgets

[option] A groovy businessman interjects. “These weapons are old school. Y’all need to use the all new 360 Mega Blaster! It comes equipped with rapid fire, quick reload, and zero recoil! Oh the bullets are made out of foam you say?
[effect] soldiers are advised not to aim for the eye
[option_validity] Not valid for nations without private industry

[option] “Now if we really want to show our rivals we’re made of,” suggests @@RANDOMNAME@@.”we should use their own weapons against them.” “Think about it, their cannons might be trouble, but we’ll make it double. Now, I hear Bigtopia has some excellent weaponry. Seriously though, just import more weapons, it’s so much easier.”
[effect] national pride is asserted using international weapons
[option_validity] Not valid for autarkic nations

[option] “If you really want to dominate on the world stage,” advises @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Creative Solutions, “we should just deploy AI’s. Think about it. Nobody will be able to stop these ultra-destructive weapons. We will shred anybody in our path to pieces. MWAHAHAHAHA!”
[effect] foreign spies take down opponents with the click of a button

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Not sure on the issue, but that title is excellent. Almost carries the issue all by itself.

If you can make the rest of the issue as witty as the title, you'll be onto a winner.

[Kathol Rift]

I love the title. It’s amazing, and is the sole reason I clicked on this. I’m about to go on a tangent of advice though.

[title] Projectile Dysfunction

[desc] After a high-ranking official died of cannon recoil in military training, questions over equipment quality have arisen.

[validity] Not valid for nations with no military

I would describe the situation more. Something along the lines of:
“Yesterday, the military was supposed to be giving a tour of their training facilities to a visiting government official. Unfortunately, when they tried to show him how the cannons worked, one of the cannons rocketed off of its frame and killed the official. Several civilians, government workers, and business people have come streaming into your office to weigh in on the issue of equipment quality.”
You can write your own intro, I’m not saying to just use that. That same advice about detail goes for all the options too. Once you’ve done that, you’ll be golden. In my opinion anyways.

[Authoritaria-Imperia]

I would describe the situation more. Something along the lines of:
“Yesterday, the military was supposed to be giving a tour of their training facilities to a visiting government official. Unfortunately, when they tried to show him how the cannons worked, one of the cannons rocketed off of its frame and killed the official. Several civilians, government workers, and business people have come streaming into your office to weigh in on the issue of equipment quality.”
You can write your own intro, I’m not saying to just use that. That same advice about detail goes for all the options too. Once you’ve done that, you’ll be golden. In my opinion anyways.

Actually, I disagree on this. I think the introduction says all it needs to. Maybe it's just me, but I don't think it's important to add extra lines (in the introduction and options) unless they're humour.

Edit: Whoa, this is far too many options. Keep the first two, and if I were you I'd drop most of the others. You don't need to cover every single thing @@LEADER@@ could theoretically do.

[Fauxia]

Not sure on the issue, but that title is excellent. Almost carries the issue all by itself.

If you can make the rest of the issue as witty as the title, you'll be onto a winner.

The title may be good, but it’s also been used before (no. 360 Electile Dysfunction).

Very much like you to enjoy the title though

[LO SANTANo]

I love the title. It’s amazing, and is the sole reason I clicked on this. I’m about to go on a tangent of advice though.

[title] Projectile Dysfunction

[desc] After a high-ranking official died of cannon recoil in military training, questions over equipment quality have arisen.

[validity] Not valid for nations with no military

I would describe the situation more. Something along the lines of:
“Yesterday, the military was supposed to be giving a tour of their training facilities to a visiting government official. Unfortunately, when they tried to show him how the cannons worked, one of the cannons rocketed off of its frame and killed the official. Several civilians, government workers, and business people have come streaming into your office to weigh in on the issue of equipment quality.”
You can write your own intro, I’m not saying to just use that. That same advice about detail goes for all the options too. Once you’ve done that, you’ll be golden. In my opinion anyways.

I thought brevity was better

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Not sure on the issue, but that title is excellent. Almost carries the issue all by itself.

If you can make the rest of the issue as witty as the title, you'll be onto a winner.

The title may be good, but it’s also been used before (no. 360 Electile Dysfunction).

Good point there. Ah well.

[LO SANTANo]

The title may be good, but it’s also been used before (no. 360 Electile Dysfunction).

Good point there. Ah well.

Does that mean I can't use it?

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Well, it's not identical, but its very similar. So, no.

[Australian rePublic]

The effect for option 4 is complete nonsense
Option 3- I'm sorry, what?