[ABANDONED] Roses are Red, Violets are Black & Blue

[East Priapistan]

Yet another one inspired by recent events

[VALIDITY] Valid for all nations.

[TITLE] Roses are Red, Violets are Black & Blue

[DESCRIPTION] With the infamous terrorist Violet State organisation being all but crushed in the desert state of Althaniq after a long and bloody war, your Secretary of Various Affairs confronts you with a rather sensitive topic: a number of @@DEMONYM@@ women who illegally left the country a number of years ago to join the Violetists, and were convicted in absentia to long prison sentences for terrorism, have produced a sizeable offspring in the Violet State warrior camps. Since the children technically have the @@DEMONYM@@ nationality, their mothers are trying to get @@NAME@@ to rescue them out of the war zone.

[OPTION 1] "Those children didn't do anything wrong, @@LEADER@@!" whimpers human rights lawyer @@RANDOMNAME@@. "You can't blame them for their mothers' crimes - they are underage @@NAME@@ citizens, and they are in dire need of evacuation. The only right thing to do is get them back to their home country. I'm sure that a swift military operation, with a dedicated air plane and a platoon of our elite soldiers, will be able to extract them out of the war zone with a reasonable chance of success and minimal casualties."
[EFFECT 1] @@NAME@@ citizens who get in an argument abroad are forcefully extracted by a military "rescue team" helicopter

[OPTION 2] "Are you insane?" snorts @@RANDOMNAME@@, your head of State Security. "Those Violet State terrorists are a lost cause; their children have been indoctrinated from birth to hate everything @@NAME@@ stands for. Yes, they may be only 4 or 5 years old, but they can shoot an AK-47 better than most of our soldiers. The fact that they have our nationality is a legal loophole - they weren't even born in @@NAME@@! I say we retroactively revoke the citizenship of the mothers, which makes their children... well, I dunno. Let Althaniq figure that out."
[EFFECT 2] @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ not paying their speeding tickets are threatened to have their passport revoked

[OPTION 3] "Do you have any idea how much it costs to mount such a rescue operation?!" huffs and puffs your Minister of Finance, while flipping through a thick report with a suspiciously high amount of red numbers. "I mean, second chances, think of the children, blah blah, blah, fine. But decent, hard-working @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ shouldn't have to pay for the mistakes of Violetist scum! How about we tell them that if they manage to get back to @@NAME@@ on their own, they can keep their citizenship? Oh, and the parents go straight to jail, obviously."
[EFFECT 3] neighbouring nations report of terrorist families hitch-hiking to get to @@CAPITAL@@

[VALIDITY] Valid for all nations.

[TITLE] Roses are Red, Violets are Black & Blue

[DESCRIPTION] With the infamous terrorist Violet State organisation being all but crushed in Dàguó after a long and bloody war, your Secretary of Various Affairs confronts you with a rather sensitive topic: a number of @@DEMONYM@@ women who illegally left the country a number of years ago to join the Violetists, and were convicted in absentia to long prison sentences for terrorism, have produced a sizeable offspring in the Violet State warrior camps. Since the children technically have the @@DEMONYM@@ nationality, their mothers are trying to get @@NAME@@ to rescue them out of the war zone.

[OPTION 1] "Those children didn't do anything wrong, @@LEADER@@!" whimpers human rights lawyer @@RANDOMNAME@@. "You can't blame them for their mothers' crimes - they are underage @@NAME@@ citizens, and they are in dire need of evacuation. The only right thing to do is get them back to their home country. I'm sure that a swift military operation, with a dedicated air plane and a platoon of our elite soldiers, will be able to extract them out of the war zone with a reasonable chance of success and minimal casualties."
[EFFECT 1] @@NAME@@ spares no expense to rescue people who don't even know where @@NAME@@ is on a world map

[OPTION 2] "Are you insane?" snorts @@RANDOMNAME@@, your head of State Security. "Those Violet State terrorists are a lost cause; their children have been indoctrinated from birth to hate everything @@NAME@@ stands for. Yes, they may be only 4 or 5 years old, but they can shoot an AK-47 better than most of our soldiers. The fact that they have our nationality is a legal loophole - they weren't even born in @@NAME@@! I say we retroactively revoke the citizenship of the mothers, which makes their children... well, I dunno. Let Dàguó figure that out."
[EFFECT 2] @@NAME@@ citizens crossing the country borders aren't certain to be allowed back in

[OPTION 3] "Do you have any idea how much it costs to mount such a rescue operation?!" huffs and puffs your Minister of Finance, while flipping through a thick report with a suspiciously high amount of red numbers. "I mean, second chances, think of the children, blah blah, blah, fine. But decent, hard-working @@DEMONYM@@ shouldn't have to pay for the mistakes of Violetist scum! How about we tell them that if they manage to get back to @@NAME@@ on their own, they can keep their citizenship? Oh, and the parents go straight to jail, obviously."
[EFFECT 3] Neighbouring nations report of terrorist families hitch-hiking to get to @@CAPITAL@@

[VALIDITY] Valid for all nations.

[TITLE] Roses are Red, Violets are Black & Blue

[DESCRIPTION] With the infamous terrorist Violet State organisation being all but crushed in Dàguó after a long and bloody war, your Secretary of Various Affairs confronts you with a rather sensitive topic: a number of @@DEMONYM@@ women who illegally left the country a number of years ago to join the Violetists, and were convicted in absentia to long prison sentences for terrorism, have produced a sizeable offspring in the Violet State warrior camps. Since the children technically have the @@DEMONYM@@ nationality, their mothers are trying to get @@NAME@@ to rescue them out of the war zone.

[OPTION 1] "Those children didn't do anything wrong, @@LEADER@@!" whimpers human rights lawyer @@RANDOMNAME@@. "You can't blame them for their mothers' crimes - they are underage @@NAME@@ citizens, and they are in dire need of evacuation. The only right thing to do is get them back to their home country. I'm sure that a swift military operation, with a dedicated air plane and a platoon of our elite soldiers, will be able to extract them out of the war zone with a reasonable chance of success and minimal casualties."
[EFFECT 1] "@@NAME@@ spares no expense to rescue people who don't even know where @@NAME@@ is on a world map."

[OPTION 2] "Do you have any idea how much it costs to mount such a rescue operation?!" huffs and puffs your Minister of Finance, while flipping through a thick report with a suspiciously high amount of red numbers. "I mean, second chances, think of the children, blah blah, blah, fine. But decent, hard-working @@DEMONYM@@ shouldn't have to pay for the mistakes of Violetist scum! How about we tell them that if they manage to get back to @@NAME@@ on their own, they can keep their citizenship? Oh, and the parents go straight to jail, obviously."
[EFFECT 2] "Neighbouring nations report of terrorist families hitch-hiking to get to @@CAPITAL@@."

[OPTION 3] "Are you insane?" snorts @@RANDOMNAME@@, your head of State Security. "Those Violet State terrorists are a lost cause; their children have been indoctrinated from birth to hate everything @@NAME@@ stands for. Yes, they may be only 4 or 5 years old, but they can shoot an AK-47 better than most of our soldiers. The fact that they have our nationality is a legal loophole - they weren't even born in @@NAME@@! I say we retroactively revoke the citizenship of the mothers, which makes their children... well, I dunno. Let Dàguó figure that out."
[EFFECT 3] "@@NAME@@ citizens crossing the country borders aren't certain to be allowed back in."

[Baggieland]

I think you should swap options 2 and 3 around. Your current option 3 is that "these are terrorist scum and they would be a danger to us if we allowed them back into NAME". Which is the stance of the people who don't want the IS brides / children back from Syria.

Your current option 2 is "they can remain citizens -- if they can make it back". Which fits the 'crazy 3rd option' better.

Also your effect lines shouldn't have speech quotes, capital letters or full stops.

[East Priapistan]

I think you should swap options 2 and 3 around. Your current option 3 is that "these are terrorist scum and they would be a danger to us if we allowed them back into NAME". Which is the stance of the people who don't want the IS brides / children back from Syria.

Your current option 2 is "they can remain citizens -- if they can make it back". Which fits the 'crazy 3rd option' better.

Also your effect lines shouldn't have speech quotes, capital letters or full stops.

Makes sense. Option 2 started as "slightly sensible" when I was writing it, but it ended up being the crazy one after all. Will edit it right away.

[Trotterdam]

Your current option 2 is "they can remain citizens -- if they can make it back". Which fits the 'crazy 3rd option' better.

I'm not sure it's that crazy. My nation has very open immigration laws, so an attitude of "well, they're not citizens now, but they can be if they find their way here" would be in-character.

[Baggieland]

It's crazier.

[Australian rePublic]

Would they otherwise be stateless? That makes a big difference
Also, one thread per issue, please

[East Priapistan]

Would they otherwise be stateless? That makes a big difference

I've deliberately not touched at the "stateless" effect. It's true that option 2 could very well result in the Violetists and their children becoming stateless - which in real life is not allowed by international convention (iirc), but I haven't seen anything explicitly forbidding it in NS. The World Assembly might have enforced something like this (haven't checked) but even in that case there's plenty of non-WA member states.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

The premise is good, though the English grammar is somewhat lacking. We can fix such things, of course. Your English is intermittently strong and weak, which makes me think you may not be a native speaker.

The effect lines aren't great either, in my opinion.

None of this is dealbreaking though -- this is a decent and interesting issue overall.

[East Priapistan]

The premise is good, though the English grammar is somewhat lacking. We can fix such things, of course. Your English is intermittently strong and weak, which makes me think you may not be a native speaker.

Second or third language, depending on whom you ask

The effect lines aren't great either, in my opinion.

I liked the effect for option 3 the most - the others much less so. I'll mull it over and (hopefully) come up with something better. All suggestions welcome of course!

[East Priapistan]

Updated with 2 new effect lines.

[Baggieland]

Personally, I'd like to see Daguo changed to Althaniq, as Daguo is based on China while Althaniq is based on a middle eastern country.

[East Priapistan]

Personally, I'd like to see Daguo changed to Althaniq, as Daguo is based on China while Althaniq is based on a middle eastern country.

Ah, wasn't aware of that. Updated it; cfr discussions about a similar introduction of a nation in a different issue, I've set it to "the desert state of Althaniq" in the description. Didn't feel like bumping for a full new draft for this one.

[East Priapistan]

Bumping to last call! Planned submission end of the week.

[Baggieland]

It looks okay to me, except for the effect lines, they're still not that great.

1, the next Olympic skeet gold medal hopeful is still in primary school

2, umm... still thinking.

3, border police are erecting more obstacles to prevent citizens from returning.

Not sure about these two suggestions either, leave the draft active for a bit longer to see if anyone else has suggestions.

Also, if you could trim the intro a bit, that would be great.

[Trotterdam]

3, border police are erecting more obstacles to prevent citizens from returning.

That would only guarantee that dismissing the issue is the only sane response.

[East Priapistan]

It looks okay to me, except for the effect lines, they're still not that great.

Pity, I quite like them.

Also, if you could trim the intro a bit, that would be great.

Yes, it's a bit big - I'll check if I can shave off some of the fat without losing crucial information.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

It's good enough to work with, but if I were to edit this I'd likely trim each section by a third. Probably best to do that yourself, so you retain more control of the process.

[Trotterdam]

I just got #1204 and realized a significant similarity. That issue's woman is only pregnant rather than already having had several kids, but otherwise the situation is largely identical.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Good point, that one slipped my mind.

I think that's an overlap no-go then, sorry.

[East Priapistan]

Bummer! Yes, that's virtually identical.