[DRAFT] Do You Even Lift, Bro?

[Bad Spellers Untied]

Title: Do You Even Lift, Bro?

The Issue: Documentary "Lifting Irons", which followed the rise of now world-famous body builder Innerer Schweinehund culminating in him winning the Mr. Buff Guy Competition, was a smash hit in @@NAME@@. In response, the number of repetitions of @@PLURAL DEMONYM ADJ@@ going to gyms has hit new highs. However, you Minister of Health has has also noted that doctors have had new personal records for the number of weight lifting related injuries in a set of patient.

Valid for: All nations

option valid if: capitalist
Option: "The problem is these would-be weight lifters haven't been trained by a proper certified personal trainer," claims certified personal trainer @@RANDOMNAME@@, while placing a 45 pound dumb bell in your left hand. "The government should subsidize the cost of hiring personal trainers so everyone can afford to learn good form. It may cost a bit now, but won't having less injuries and more fit @@PLURAL DEMONYM@@ be worth it to society in the long run?"
effect: it is internationally known not to get in an arm wrestling match with @@PLURAL DEMOMNYM@@

option valid if: not capitalist
Option: "The problem is these would be weight lifters haven't been trained by a proper certified personal trainer," claims certified personal trainer @@RANDOMNAME@@, while placing a 45-pound dumbbell in your left hand. "The government should hire a huge staff of personal trainers so everyone can afford to learn good form. It may cost a bit now, but won't having less injuries and more fit @@PLURAL DEMONYM@@ be worth it to society in the long run?"
effect: it is internationally known not to get in an arm wrestling match with @@PLURAL DEMOMNYM@@

Option: "I think you could provide a more personal and direct way of helping @@PLURAL DEMONYM@@ out while allowing them to get to know you better," cheerfully exclaims certified public relations specialist @@RANDOMNAME@@, while placing another 45-pound dumbell in your right hand. "Broadcast an hour-long daily personal workout show where you demonstrate the joys of getting fit and good technique. I just know The @@LEADER@@ Fitness Hour is going to be a smash hit, and I'm sure under your expert tutelage the number of weight lifting injuries with also smash back down to normal."
effect: the critics of @@LEADER@@ host daily popcorn parties to tune into their favorite show

Option valid if: their is a national health service
Option: "Maybe the problem is that @@PLURAL DEMONYM@@ just don't have the proper incentives," asserts certified public accountant @@RANDOMNAME@@, while cautiously staying outside of falling distance of the weights. "With the national health service covering the cost of medical treatments for their injuries, why should they care if they get hurt? They practically get a spa treatment on the @@DEMONYM@@ goverment afterwards. Get rid of the national health service and I'm sure people will figure out the true cost of their actions themselves."
effect: a popular childhood belief is stepping on a crack will send your family into bankruptcy

Option valid if: their is not a national health service
Option: "Sure, it's sad people are getting hurt, but I'm not seeing the need for government intervention," notes certified physical therapist @@RANDOMNAME@@, while checking the time on @@HIS@@ new gold watch. "Let's cut back on this nanny-state meddling and trust people to know what's best for themselves for once. In fact, you should fire the adviser who even suggested that this is something the government should act o-" Your Minister of health abruptly cuts him off and escorts him out of the room.
effect: government advisers are afraid to bring declarations of war from nations that aren't large enough to the attention of @@LEADER@@

[The Sherpa Empire]

You've got a lot of little things where the spelling and grammar are wonky.

calumniating

Should be "culminating" -- though that whole sentence could flow smoother overall.

In response, the number of @@PLURAL DEMONYM ADJ@@ hitting the gyms of @@NAME@@ has hit a new personal record.

How can a number hit a new personal record? A number isn't a person.

That sort of little clunky things...

For the title, I'd recommend sticking with the original meme "Do You Even Lift?" unless you were saving that for a future draft about elevators.

[Bad Spellers Untied]

The use of “personal record” and the following sentence with “repetitions” and “sets” are meant to be puns on weight lifting terms. Personal record in particular I was worried was a stretch. However, seeing as I’ve stretched so far that you see them as grammar issues I suppose I’ll rethink how to structure them.

[Australian rePublic]

Why should countries with NHSes be forced to care? What if they don't?

[Bad Spellers Untied]

I've made some grammatical fixes and shuffled the weight lifting puns in the opener to make more sense. Other feedback?

[Candensia]

The debate is all over the place. Here's how you have it set up.

Topic: @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ are suffering a spike in exercise-related injuries.

Option 1 (and doppelganger): Subsidize the cost of personal trainers.
Option 2: Have leader star in a workout video.
Option 3 (and doppelganger): Eliminate the NHS.

These options read like "crazy options". I feel this issue is missing the sensible options that should come prior. Might I suggest a debate like this?

Topic: @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ are suffering a spike in exercise-related injuries.

Option 1: Inform the populace on safe exercise practices, through health campaigns and/or public education.
Option 2: Too expensive to do that, regulate gyms instead, require they instruct their patrons on safe exercise practices.
Option 3: Subsidize personal trainers.

Keep working on proofreading, you have repeated words and unnecessary length in the intro.