Title: Little House on the @@ANIMAL@@ River
Description
Recently, major @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ magnate @@RANDOMNAME(1)@@ announced his plans to forgo terrestrial housing and permanently live in a houseboat on the @@ANIMAL@@ river, citing increased quality-of-life. The decision has not been without controversy, however, as many @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ cannot afford such an exorbitant lifestyle.
Validity
Some income inequality, possibly Capitalism
Option 1
"That's ridiculous!", blurts one of your minimum-wage aides. "I can barely afford rent, let alone buying one of those luxurious houseboat thingies! @@HE(1)@@'s only doing this to avoid paying land taxes, I'll bet. Ooh, maybe @@HE(1)@@'s trying to hide some illegal stuff, like in one of those Jim Band spy movies! That's the only reason anyone ever lives on one of those things… Arrest @@HIM@@ and prohibit houseboating now!"
Validity
All
Outcome
@@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ who like fishing are treated with suspicion
Option 2
"@@HE(2)@@ has the right idea, but that isn't the only reason to object," says environmentalist, @@RANDOMNAME(3)@@. "Long-term mooring and movement of boats stirs up sediment and kills aquatic life - look at Vemace, for instance. Their canals have been murky and dead for all of recorded history, but when they stopped all boating for a week, they immediately filled up with life. Restrict all water traffic to only necessary travel, and watch the fishes flourish!"
Validity
All
Outcome
to save space for aquatic life, @@CAPITAL@@ is expanding into land habitats
Option 3
"There's no law stopping me from doing this," states @@RANDOMNAME(1)@@. "I had my lawyers check! Look, if I want to live on my 5-storey houseboat, that’s up to me. People are allowed to live 'off-grid' out in the bush, and this is just taking that one-step further. You should encourage more people to do this. Think about how much more land can go to national parks if we're all living on the water!"
Validity
All
Outcome
the most expensive homes in @@CAPITAL@@ seem to be the wettest
Title: Little House on the @@ANIMAL@@ River
Description
@@RANDOMNAME_1@@, a downtrodden @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ worker, moved onto the water some months ago to escape landowner's tax and get an increased quality of life. All was going well, until @@HE@@ accidentally anchored in a major shipping lane, causing every cargo ship in and out of @@NAME@@ to go days off schedule.
Validity
Some income inequality, Capitalism
Option 1
"Look, I just wanted to live on the water," claims @@RANDOMNAME_1@@. "How was I supposed to know there was a shipping lane there? There's no marker buoys in sight, and I don't have all that fancy navigation gear telling me where I can and can't go. If you provided government-subsidised education on boating protocol for anyone who wants it, then I would have known what to do."
Validity
All
Outcome
the @@DEMONYM@@ Sea Scouts are going out of business
Option 2
"Damnit!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, the captain of one of the held-up vessels. "That filthy landlubber cost me and my crew precious time! Boating through or stopping in shipping lanes, even if you don't know about them, should be prosecuted by a good keel-hauling! Bah!" @@HE@@ storms out of the room.
Validity
All
Outcome
the government's new prison facility has a surprisingly large pool
Option 3
"Why are we even allowing @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ on the water?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, an ardent environmentalist. "Living on the water causes significant and irreversible environmental damage to water-based ecosystems! Would you like to have some floating metal-and-fibreglass construction floating above your house 24/7? For the good of our water-based ecosystems, no-one should be allowed to live on boats!"
Validity
All
Outcome
lengthy sea trips are impossible now that it's illegal to take more than 3 days' worth of food onto a boat
Title: Little House on the @@ANIMAL@@ River
Description
Recently, major @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ magnate @@RANDOMNAME(1)@@ announced his plans to forgo terrestrial housing and permanently live in a houseboat on the @@ANIMAL@@ river, citing increased quality-of-life and lack of property tax.
Validity
Some income inequality, possibly Capitalism
Option 1
"There's no law stopping me from doing this," states @@RANDOMNAME(1)@@. "I had my lawyers check! Look, if I want to live on my 5-storey houseboat, that’s up to me. People are allowed to live 'off-grid' out in the bush, and this is just taking that one-step further. You should encourage more people to do this. Think about how much more land can go to national parks if we're all living on the water!"
Validity
All
Outcome
the most expensive homes in @@CAPITAL@@ are empty as the richest @@PL(DEMONYM)@@ move to the water
Option 2
"That's ridiculous!", blurts one of your minimum-wage aides. "I can barely afford rent, let alone buying one of those luxurious houseboat thingies! Plus, won't it destroy water-based habitats? We might save some of those red-faced @@ANIMAL@@s on land, but we'll kill off every fish in our waterways! Living permanently on water should be banned."
Validity
All
Outcome
lengthy sea trips have become impossible now that it's illegal to take more than 3 days' worth of food onto a boat at once
Option 3
"Hey!" interjects your second cousin's half-sister. "I've lived on a houseboat for years now, and with no issue whatsoever, but now, just because some rich jackass decides to do the same, everyone is up in arms! They should all just butt out of our business. If I want to live on a houseboat, which, by the way, is definitely not for tax evasion purposes, then you should just let me be!"
Validity
All
Outcome
the relationship between houseboating and tax evasion is correlation, not causation
Description
Philip Lark, a former @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ worker, has been living homeless in @@CAPITAL@@ for several years. Recently, however, he "cured" his homelessness by scrounging together materials to build a large houseboat and setting it afloat on the @@ANIMAL@@ River. While he is loving life, his "neighbours" who paid premium for river-side housing are kicking up a stink.
Validity
Some unemployment, some income inequality, possibly Capitalism?
Option 1
"I spent my life's savings on purchasing that mansion, and now this ruffian and his mad construction are sitting on the waterfront and endangering the public!" complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, a wealthy business magnate. "That man is on public property, and his rudimentary dwelling poses a significant health and safety risk. Now that I think about it, I also nearly tripped over a homeless @@MAN@@ last week outside the stock exchange. For the good of us taxpaying citizens, you must prevent impoverished people from being safety risks to the public!"
Validity
All
Outcome
council workers place "trip hazard" signs on sleeping homeless people
Option 2
Philip himself disagrees. "I've scraped up money for months on end to build this houseboat, and I still pay mooring fees every month. Yes, it's 6 storeys, and the occasional plank falls off, and the motor makes a funny noise, and… That's not the point. I still made it, and that's what's important. I'm not causing harm to myself, and if the 'taxpaying citizens' are stupid enough that they injure themselves, that's their fault. If it's really such an issue, you can let me block off an area for my boat, and let people on the streets do the same."
Validity
All
Outcome
no @@PL(DEMONYM)@@ is seen living rough without government-issued barrier tape
Option 3a
"You're missing the wider problem here," complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, a comparatively woke teenager from the outskirts of @@CAPITAL@@. "Homelessness and poverty are far too prevalent in our society! We need a better safety net and a guaranteed minimum wage so that people never end up on the streets, or forced to build a houseboat from scraps. While I admire Philip for his ingenuity, the condition that these poor @@PL(DEMONYM)@@ are forced to live in is utterly atrocious."
Validity
No minimum wage
Outcome
the government's new minimum wage has seen teenagers working their first jobs earn almost as much as their parents
Option 3b
"You're missing the wider problem here," complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, a comparatively woke teenager from the outskirts of @@CAPITAL@@. "Homelessness and poverty are far too prevalent in our society! We need a better safety net and an increased minimum wage so that people never end up on the streets, or forced to build a houseboat from scraps. While I admire Philip for his ingenuity, the condition that these poor @@PL(DEMONYM)@@ are forced to live in is utterly atrocious."
Validity
Has minimum wage
Outcome
the government's new minimum wage has seen teenagers working their first jobs earn almost as much as their parents
Option 4
"Now hang on a minute there," interjects your Minister for Government Penny-Pinching. The records show Mr Lark has been claiming welfare and benefits for being homeless this entire time, despite in fact, having a house! He owes the government in excess of a year's wage, which he needs to pay back immediately! Nevermind that he's still out-of-work, this is a gross misuse of governmental generosity. This just shows that we need stricter controls on who can claim government benefits!"
Validity
welfare greater than 0
Outcome
governmental auditors check the living conditions of every vagrant and homeless person at tax time
Draft 4
Description
Philip Lark, a former @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ worker, has been living homeless in @@CAPITAL@@ for several years. Recently, however, he scrounged together materials to build a large houseboat, setting it afloat on the @@ANIMAL@@ River. While he is loving life, his "neighbours" who paid premium for river-side housing are kicking up a stink.
Validity
Some unemployment, some income inequality, possibly Capitalism?
Option 1
"I spent my life's savings on purchasing that mansion, and now this ruffian and his mad construction are sitting on the waterfront and endangering the public!" complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, a wealthy business magnate. "That man is on public property, and his rudimentary dwelling poses a significant health and safety risk. Now that I think about it, I also nearly tripped over a homeless @@NAME@@ last week outside the stock exchange. For the good of us taxpaying citizens, you must prevent impoverished people from being safety risks to the public!"
Validity
All
Outcome
council workers place "trip hazard" signs on sleeping homeless people
Option 2
Philip himself disagrees. "I've scraped up money for months on end to build this houseboat, and I still pay mooring fees every month. Yes, it's 6 storeys, and the occasional plank falls off, and the motor makes a funny noise, and… That's not the point. I still made it, and that's what's important. I'm not causing harm to myself, and if the 'taxpaying citizens' are stupid enough that they injure themselves, that's their fault. If it's really such an issue, you can let me block off an area for my boat, and let people on the streets do the same."
Validity
All
Outcome
no @@PL(DEMONYM)@@ is seen living rough without government-issued barrier tape
Option 3
"You're missing the wider problem here," complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, a comparatively woke teenager from the outskirts of @@CAPITAL@@. "Homelessness and poverty are far too prevalent in our society! We need a better safety net and a guaranteed minimum wage so that people never end up on the streets, or forced to build a houseboat from scraps. While I admire Philip for his ingenuity, the condition that these poor @@PL(DEMONYM)@@ are forced to live in is utterly atrocious."
Validity
All
Outcome
the government's new minimum wage has seen teenagers working their first jobs earn almost as much as their parents
Option 4
"Now hang on a minute there," interjects your Minister for Government Penny-Pinching. The records show Mr Lark has been claiming welfare and benefits for being homeless this entire time, despite in fact, having a house! He owes the government in excess of a year's wage, which he needs to pay back immediately! Nevermind that he's still out-of-work, this is a gross misuse of governmental generosity. This just shows that we need stricter controls on who can claim government benefits!"
Validity
welfare greater than 0
Outcome
governmental auditors check the living conditions of every vagrant and homeless person at tax time
Draft 3
Description
Philip Lark, a former @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ worker, has been living homeless in @@CAPITAL@@ for several years. Recently, however, he scrounged together materials to build a large houseboat, setting it afloat on the @@ANIMAL@@ River. While he is loving life, his "neighbours" who paid premium for river-side housing are kicking up a stink.
Validity
Some unemployment, some income inequality
Option 1
"I spent a significant amount of @@PL(CURRENCY)@@ to purchase my mansion, only for this ruffian to move in and spoil the view!" complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, a wealthy lawyer. "That man is on public property and his rudimentary dwelling almost certainly poses a health and safety risk. And, now that I think about it, I had to step over over a homeless @@MAN@@ just last week outside the courthouses. For the good of the taxpaying citizens, you must stop homeless people from getting in the way!"
Validity
All
Outcome
council workers place "trip hazard" signs on sleeping homeless people
Option 2
Philip himself disagrees. "I've scraped up money for months on end to build this houseboat, and I pay my mooring fees every month. Yes, it's 6 storeys, and the occasional plank falls off, but I still made it, and that's what's important. I showed true @@DEMONYM@@ spirit by scrimping and saving until I could build this and for those rich prats to take it all away just because I'm 'ruining the view' runs counter to everything we believe in. Moving on or inconveniencing homeless people in any way is criminal, and should be treated as such."
Validity
All
Outcome
telling a homeless person to get a job can cost you yours
Option 3
"You're missing the wider problem here," complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, a comparatively woke teenager from the outskirts of @@CAPITAL@@. "Homelessness is far too prevalent in our society! We need a better safety net and a guaranteed minimum wage so that people never end up on the streets. Philip here might be loving life, but there are many more out there who would kill to live in that- ah- thing."
Validity
All
Outcome
the government's new minimum wage has seen teenagers working their first jobs earn almost as much as their parents
Option 4
"Now hang on a minute there," interjects your Minister for Government Penny-Pinching. The records show Mr Lark has been claiming welfare this entire time, despite in fact, having a house! He owes the government in excess of a year's wage, which he needs to pay back immediately! Nevermind that he's still out-of-work, this is a gross misuse of governmental generosity. This just shows that we need stricter controls on who can claim government benefits!"
Validity
welfare greater than 0
Outcome
governmental auditors check the living conditions of every homeless person at tax time
Draft 2
Description
Philip Lark, a former @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ worker, has been living homeless in @@CAPITAL@@ for several years. Recently, however, he scrounged together materials to build a large houseboat, setting it afloat on the @@ANIMAL@@ River. While he is loving life, his "neighbours" who paid premium for river-side housing are kicking up a stink.
Validity
Some unemployment, some income inequality
Option 1
"I spent a significant amount of @@PL(CURRENCY)@@ to purchase my mansion, only for this ruffian to move in and spoil the view!" complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, a wealthy lawyer. "That man is on public property and his rudimentary dwelling almost certainly poses a health and safety risk. And, now that I think about it, I tripped over a homeless @@MAN@@ just last week outside the courthouses. For the good of the taxpaying citizens, you must stop homeless people from getting in the way!"
Validity
All
Outcome
?
Option 2
Philip himself disagrees. "I've scraped up money for months on end to build this houseboat, and I pay my mooring fees every month. Yes, it's 6 storeys, and the occasional plank falls off, but I still made it, and that's what's important. I showed true @@DEMONYM@@ spirit by scrimping and saving until I could build this and for those rich prats to take it all away just because I'm 'ruining the view' runs counter to everything we believe in. Moving on or inconveniencing homeless people in any way is criminal, and should be treated as such."
Validity
All
Outcome
telling a homeless person to get a job can cost you yours
Option 3
"You're missing the wider problem here," complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, a comparatively woke teenager from the outskirts of @@CAPITAL@@. "Homelessness is far too prevalent in our society! We need a better safety net and a guaranteed minimum wage so that people never end up on the streets. Philip here might be loving life, but there are many more homeless @@PL(DEMONYM)@@ out there who would kill to live in that houseboat."
Validity
All
Outcome
?
Draft 1
Description
Philip Lark, a former @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ worker, has been living homeless in @@CAPITAL@@ for several years. Recently, however, he scrounged together materials to build a houseboat, setting it afloat on the @@ANIMAL@@ River. While he is loving life, his "neighbours" who paid premium for river-side housing are kicking up a stink.
Validity
Some unemployment, some income inequality
Option 1
"We paid HEAPS of @@PL(CURRENCY)@@ to like, buy this house, and now he just moves in and is like, totally ruining the view!" complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, a spoiled inner-city teenager. "My daddy is like, a lawyer and stuff, and he said that homeless guy is on public property! He's getting in the way of my Instasnap photos, so can you just stop homeless people from getting in the way?"
Validity
All
Outcome
the government's position on homelessness is that it "like, totally ruins the view"
Option 2
Philip himself disagrees. "I've scraped up money for months on end to build this house-ah, boat- well, it's more like a shed, really. But I still made it, and that's what's important. I've showed true @@DEMONYM@@ spirit by scrimping and saving until I could build this and for those rich prats to take it all away just because I'm 'ruining the view' runs counter to everything we believe in. Moving on or inconveniencing homeless people in any way is criminal, and should be treated as such."
Validity
All
Outcome
telling a homeless person to get a job can cost you yours
Option 3
"You're missing the wider problem here," complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, a comparatively woke teenager from the outskirts of @@CAPITAL@@. "Homelessness is a far too prevalent in our society! We need a better safety net and a guaranteed minimum wage so that people never end up on the streets. Philip might be loving life, but there are many more out there who would kill to live in that shed."
Validity
All
Outcome
?
