[DRAFT] Dinosaurs Not Extinct After All?

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Posts: 68
Founded: Nov 06, 2019
Corrupt Dictatorship

[DRAFT] Dinosaurs Not Extinct After All?

Postby Authoritaria-Imperia » Fri Dec 06, 2019 2:58 am

Hi. This is the first issue I've written, and I'd love some feedback. Thanks. :)

Dinosaurs Not Extinct After All?
Two parents were met with outrage after attempting to name their newborn son “Dinosaur”, with concerns raised that such a name just might, hypothetically, affect the child’s social life somehow. You’ve been surprised to find that you have no public servants to take care of such things, and so the final decision is up to you.
[option] “Is’ abuse!” proclaims prominent cowboy Johnnie Stars, who seems to have walked directly into your office from the street. “Cn’you imagine the humiliatin’ this kid will go through with a name like that? S’disgusting, and these parents aren’t havin’ any shame ’tall! You ought’a keep some sort’a i’legal name registry so these par’nts don’t try’a pull this sort’a stuff!” He marches out of your office in a huff, boots jangling.
[effect] the name-selection process for children is multiple-choice

[option] “You’ve got to be kidding!” exclaims the boy’s mother, @@RANDOMFEMALENAME, who must have followed Mr. Stars into the building. “This is our child, and we shall name him whatever we want!” She stamps her foot for persuasive effect. “It’s no business of anyone else’s what our baby boy’s name is! You should guarantee the right for parents to name their children whatever they want!” She leans in closer to you. “Cowboys, amiright?”
[effect] a number of once-extinct animals live once more

[option] You stand up to shut the door only to have it forcefully re-opened by prominent authoritarian Stér E. O. Typpe, who is waving a croissant threateningly. “Zis is rideeculous! Ze problem is not ze name, it is ze eediot parents! Zey do not care about ze child!” He rubs his moustache angrily. “If zey vant to do zis, ze gouvernment should TAKE ze kid. It vill be better for ze boy! ‘E can be named “patriot” or “@@NATIONALANIMAL@@“. Yes, it vill be expensive, and use ze taxpayers’ @@CURRENCY@@, but ze kid vill have a good life and grow up to be a loyal ceetizen.” He strides off, rubbing his hands together and cackling under his breath.
[effect] children are conditioned from birth to do as the government says

[option] You manage to shut and lock the door only to have the phone ring. “Why stop there?” asks your director of security, who has apparently been listening to all of this somehow. “Look, we’ve been needing some extra troops. As far as I’m concerned, these are just… human resources. Let’s raise them as soldiers. In fact, let’s raise put all our orphans through this training. It’ll ensure they’ve got a well-paying job as adults, and it’ll increase the size of our defence force dramatically!”
[effect] orphans learn to salute before they can speak

[option] There’s a brief scuffle on the other end of the line, and a new voice greets you. “Hello — I’m Wilkes Ratsby, your… head of Juvenile Onomastics. It seems to me like there’s a simple solution to all this — all you need to do is name all children yourself. @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ clearly can’t be trusted to name their children responsibly, and that’s where we come in. I haven’t had much to do lately anyway. Even though I am employed and working for @@NAME@@. Really, I am.”
[effect] there has been an influx of children named “Ratsby”

My main concern is that the characters are too out-there. What do you think?
(Thanks in advance.)
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The Free Joy State
Senior Issues Editor
Posts: 10815
Founded: Jan 05, 2014
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby The Free Joy State » Fri Dec 06, 2019 3:02 am

Welcome to GI.

Unfortunately, this seems rather too similar to #258.

EDIT: I suggest you run a ctrl+F search in the Spoiler list, with a few keywords, with future ideas, just to see if there's already an existing issue on the subject. While we have enough issues where a limited amount of overlap may be acceptable, depending on how much other parts of the issue diverges (and the issue editors are always the best people to give you guidance on how much is too much), reproducing the same idea is still a no-no.
Last edited by The Free Joy State on Fri Dec 06, 2019 3:09 am, edited 2 times in total.
"If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it." - Toni Morrison

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