[SUBMITTED] Slippery Serpent Springs Surprise

[Baggieland]

This one inspired by the British politician who kept a pet tarantula in Parliament.

[TITLE] Slippery Serpent Springs Surprise

[DESCRIPTION] Calvin Williams, your Environment Minister, is known to keep a pet Macronesian python in a glass cage in his office. This morning the snake escaped, causing a panic within Parliament, as well as a discussion about the trade of exotic animals as pets.

[VALIDITY] not an autarky, has zoos

[OPTION] "Cuddles, come here girl! Where are you Cuddles?" calls out Mr. Williams, as he searches for his lost snake. "I think snakes are fascinating animals and one can learn a lot through studying their behavioural traits. I believe every @@DEMONYMNOUN@@ should have their own exotic animal as a pet, that will also help create jobs not only here in @@NAME@@, but also in the source countries. Let's set up trade deals with countries like Macronesia and Manamana so that we can start bringing these critters in by the container ship load."

[EFFECT] primary-aged schoolgirls have playground arguments about whether scorpions or snakes are cuter

[OPTION] "Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh!" screams your secretary, as Cuddles is finally located -- having a nap inside her handbag. "Why would anyone want to have such a creepy animal as a pet? If Mr. Williams needs to learn about its behavioural traits, he can go to the zoo and read up about them there. In fact, only places like zoos and reptile centres should be allowed to keep these animals. Pet shops should be banned from selling anything other than cats, dogs and cute little bunnies."

[EFFECT] any spiders found in garages must be donated to the nearest zoo

[OPTION] "Crikey! She's a real beauty!" exclaims Stan Eurwyn, a famous TV conservationist from Ausblic, as he carefully extracts Cuddles from the handbag. "This here is a rare Macronesian carpet python, and it doesn't belooong in a handbag -- it belooongs in the forests of Macronesia. People there capture the local fauna and then sell them to traders just for enough money to feed their families. You shouldn't just ban the import of all exotic animals, you also need to set up welfare programmes for the people of Macronesia, so that they can take care of their wildlife populations: not destrooooooooy them."

[EFFECT] holidays abroad are ruined for most @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ by the hordes of creepy crawlies in their hotel rooms

[TITLE] Slippery Serpent Springs Surprise

[DESCRIPTION] Calvin Williams, your Environment Minister, is known to keep a pet Macronesian python in a glass cage in his office. This morning the snake escaped, causing a panic within Parliament, as well as a discussion about the trade of exotic animals as pets.

[VALIDITY] not an autarky, has zoos

[OPTION] "Cuddles, come here girl! Where are you Cuddles?" calls out Mr. Williams, as he searches for his lost snake. "I think snakes are fascinating animals and one can learn a lot through studying their behavioural traits. I believe every @@DEMONYMNOUN@@ should have their own exotic animal as a pet, that will also help create jobs not only here in @@NAME@@, but also in the source countries. Let's set up trade deals with countries like Macronesia and Manamana so that we can start bringing these critters in by the container ship load."

[EFFECT] primary-aged schoolgirls have playground arguments about whether scorpions or snakes are cuter

[OPTION] "Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh!" screams your secretary, as Cuddles is finally located -- having a nap inside her handbag. "Why would anyone want to have such a creepy animal as a pet? If Mr. Williams needs to learn about its behavioural traits, he can go to the zoo and read up about them there. In fact, only places like zoos and reptile centres should be allowed to keep these animals. Pet shops should be banned from selling anything other than cats, dogs and cute little bunnies."

[EFFECT] any spiders found in garages must be donated to the nearest zoo

[OPTION] "Crikey! She's a real beauty!" exclaims Stan Eurwyn, a famous TV conservationist from Ausblic, as he carefully extracts Cuddles from the handbag. "This here is a rare Macronesian carpet python, and it doesn't belooong in a handbag -- it belooongs in the forests of Macronesia. People there capture the local fauna and then sell them to traders just for enough money to feed their families. This unsustainable trade is driving some wildlife populations to the point of extinction. You shouldn't just ban the import of all exotic animals, you also need to set up welfare programmes for the people of Macronesia, so that they can take care of their ecosystems: not destrooooooooy them."

[EFFECT] holidays are ruined for most @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ by the hordes of creepy crawlies in their hotel rooms

[TITLE] Slippery Serpent Springs Surprise

[DESCRIPTION] Dahlia @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, your Environment Minister, is known to keep a pet Macronesian python in a glass cage in her office. This morning the snake escaped, causing a panic within Parliament, as well as a discussion about the trade of exotic animals as pets.

[VALIDITY] not an autarky

[OPTION] "Cuddles, come here boy! Where are you Cuddles?" calls out Ms. Dahlia, as she searches for her lost snake. "I think snakes are fascinating animals and one can learn a lot through studying their behavioural traits. I believe every @@DEMONYMNOUN@@ should have their own exotic animal as a pet, that will also help create jobs not only here in @@NAME@@, but also in the source countries. Let's set up trade deals with countries like Macronesia and Manamana so that we can start bringing these critters in by the container ship load."

[EFFECT] primary-aged schoolgirls have playground arguments about whether scorpions or snakes are cuter

[OPTION] "Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh!" screams your secretary, as Cuddles is finally located -- having a nap inside her handbag. "Why would anyone want to have such a creepy animal as a pet? If Ms. Dahlia needs to learn about its behavioural traits, she can go to the zoo and read up about them there. In fact, only places like zoos and reptile centres should be allowed to keep these animals. Pet shops should be banned from selling anything other than cats, dogs and cute little bunnies."
[OPTION VALIDITY] has zoos
[EFFECT] any spiders found in garages must be donated to the nearest zoo

[OPTION] "Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh!" screams your secretary, as Cuddles is finally located -- having a nap inside her handbag. "Why would anyone want to have such a creepy animal as a pet? We need to allow zoos in @@NAME@@, so if people like Ms. Dahlia need to learn about its behavioural traits, they can go there to read up about them."
[OPTION VALIDITY] no zoos
[EFFECT] any spiders found in garages must be donated to the nearest zoo

[OPTION] "Crikey! He's a real beauty!" exclaims Stan Eurwyn, a famous TV conservationist from Ausblic, as he carefully extracts Cuddles from the handbag. "This here is a rare Macronesian carpet python, and it doesn't belooong in a handbag -- it belooongs in the forests of Macronesia. People there capture the local fauna and then sell them to traders just for enough money to feed their families. This unsustainable trade is driving some wildlife populations to the point of extinction. You shouldn't just ban the import of all exotic animals, you also need to set up welfare programmes for the people of Macronesia, so that they can take care of their ecosystems: not destrooooooooy them."

[EFFECT] holidays are ruined for most @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ by the hordes of creepy crawlies in their hotel rooms

[TITLE] Slippery Serpent Springs Surprise

[DESCRIPTION] Your Environment Minister, Ms. Dahlia, is known to keep a pet Macronesian python in a glass cage in her office. This morning the snake escaped, causing a panic within Parliament, as well as a discussion about the trade of exotic animals as pets.

[VALIDITY] not an autarky

[OPTION] "Cuddles, come here boy! Where are you Cuddles?" calls out Ms. Dahlia, as she searches for her lost snake. "I think snakes are fascinating animals and one can learn a lot through studying their behavioural traits. I believe every @@DEMONYMNOUN@@ should have their own exotic animal as a pet, that will also help create jobs not only here in @@NAME@@, but also in the source countries. Let's set up trade deals with countries like Macronesia and Manamana so that we can start bringing these critters in by the container ship load."

[EFFECT] primary-aged schoolgirls have playground arguments about whether scorpions or snakes are cuter

[OPTION] "Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh!" screams your secretary, as Cuddles is finally located -- having a nap inside her handbag. "Why would anyone want to have such a creepy animal as a pet? If Ms. Dahlia needs to learn about its behavioural traits, she can go to the zoo and read up about them there. In fact, only places like zoos and reptile centres should be allowed to keep these animals. Pet shops should be banned from selling anything other than cats, dogs and cute little bunnies."
[OPTION VALIDITY] has zoos
[EFFECT] any spiders found in garages must be donated to the nearest zoo

[OPTION] "Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh!" screams your secretary, as Cuddles is finally located -- having a nap inside her handbag. "Why would anyone want to have such a creepy animal as a pet? We need to allow zoos in @@NAME@@, so if people like Ms. Dahlia need to learn about its behavioural traits, they can go there to read up about them."
[OPTION VALIDITY] no zoos
[EFFECT] any spiders found in garages must be donated to the nearest zoo

[OPTION] "Crikey! He's a real beauty!" exclaims Stan Eurwyn, a famous TV conservationist from Ausblic, as he carefully extracts Cuddles from the handbag. "This here is a rare Macronesian carpet python, and it doesn't belooong in a handbag -- it belooongs in the forests of Macronesia. People there capture the local fauna and then sell them to traders just for enough money to feed their families. This unsustainable trade is driving some wildlife populations to the point of extinction. You shouldn't just ban the import of all exotic animals, you also need to set up welfare programmes for the people of Macronesia, so that they can take care of their ecosystems: not destrooooooooy them."

[EFFECT] holidays are ruined for most @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ by the hordes of creepy crawlies in their hotel rooms

[TITLE] Slippery Serpent Springs Surprise

[DESCRIPTION] Your Environment Minister, Ms. Dahlia, is known to keep a pet Macronesian python in a glass cage in her office. This morning the snake escaped, causing a panic within Parliament, as well as a discussion about the trade of exotic animals as pets.

[VALIDITY] not an autarky

[OPTION] "Cuddles, come here boy! Where are you Cuddles?" calls out Ms. Dahlia, as she searches for her lost snake. "I think snakes are fascinating animals and one can learn a lot through studying their behavioural traits. I believe every @@DEMONYMNOUN@@ should have their own exotic animal as a pet, that will also help create jobs not only here in @@NAME@@, but also in the source countries. Let's set up trade deals with countries like Macronesia and Manamana so that we can start bringing these critters in by the container ship load."

[EFFECT] primary-aged schoolgirls have playground arguments about whether scorpions or snakes are cuter

[OPTION] "Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh!" screams your secretary, as Cuddles is finally located -- having a nap inside her handbag. "Why would anyone want to have such a creepy animal as a pet? If Ms. Dahlia needs to learn about its behavioural traits, she can go to the zoo and read up about them there. In fact, only places like zoos and reptile centres should be allowed to keep these animals. Pet shops should be banned from selling anything other than cats, dogs and cute little bunnies."
[OPTION VALIDITY] has zoos
[EFFECT] any spiders found in garages must be donated to the nearest zoo

[OPTION] "Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh!" screams your secretary, as Cuddles is finally located -- having a nap inside her handbag. "Why would anyone want to have such a creepy animal as a pet? We need to allow zoos in @@NAME@@, so if people like Ms. Dahlia need to learn about its behavioural traits, they can go there to read up about them. To make sure that zoos are the only place these animals can be seen: we should also ban pet shops from selling anything other than cats, dogs and cute little bunnies."
[OPTION VALIDITY] no zoos
[EFFECT] any spiders found in garages must be donated to the nearest zoo

[OPTION] "Crikey! He's a real beauty!" exclaims Stan Eurwyn, a famous TV conservationist from Ausblic, as he carefully extracts Cuddles from the handbag. "This here is a rare Macronesian carpet python, and it doesn't belooong in a handbag -- it belooongs in the forests of Macronesia. People there capture the local fauna and then sell them to traders just for enough money to feed their families. This unsustainable trade is driving some wildlife populations to the point of extinction. You shouldn't just ban the import of all exotic animals, you also need to set up welfare programmes for the people of Macronesia, so that they can take care of their ecosystems: not destrooooooooy them."

[EFFECT] holidays are ruined for most @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ by the hordes of creepy crawlies in their hotel rooms

[Australian rePublic]

Is it kept a cage or in a handbag? Also validity, must allow pets

[Baggieland]

It was kept in a cage, but it escaped.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

I'm surprised no speaker is pointing out the actual reasons that RL nations ban this trade, i.e. eroding the wild populations of endangered species to the point of risking extinction.

[Baggieland]

I'm surprised no speaker is pointing out the actual reasons that RL nations ban this trade, i.e. eroding the wild populations of endangered species to the point of risking extinction.

It is touched upon in the last option. But I'll see if I can get that speaker to give a few more details.

[Trotterdam]

I'm surprised no speaker is pointing out the actual reasons that RL nations ban this trade, i.e. eroding the wild populations of endangered species to the point of risking extinction.

While a fair number of venomous animals are endangered, there are certainly ones that aren't. It would certainly possible for a conscientious prospective pet-owner (or one in a nation where trade in endangered species has been banned) with the right tastes to specifically seek out a scary-but-not-endangered animal to adopt.

[Ransium]

I thought this was going to be about brown tree snakes from the title.

[Jutsa]

Baggie! What are you doing? Restricting the whole issue to nations that've banned zoos — when option 2 could have a variant that reinstates zoos!

something like "Pet shops should be banned from selling anything other than cats, dogs and cute little bunnies. But if Mr. Williams needs to learn about a snake's behavioural traits, he can't just go to the zoo and read up about them there. The fact is, places like zoos and reptile centres should be reinstated to keep these animals, for people just like Mr. Williams."

^ Not saying it has to be this exactly (can be if you want), or that it even has to be added,
but I am saying there's an opportunity here to fill in a missing blank.

[Trotterdam]

The thing is, 50% of the issue options that ban zoos (there's two of them) also explicitly ban pets.

[Baggieland]

While a fair number of venomous animals are endangered, there are certainly ones that aren't. It would certainly possible for a conscientious prospective pet-owner (or one in a nation where trade in endangered species has been banned) with the right tastes to specifically seek out a scary-but-not-endangered animal to adopt.

True, although not sure just yet if this issues requires a 4th option that states only trade in bountiful exotic creatures should be allowed. Thoughts everyone.

Baggie! What are you doing? Restricting the whole issue to nations that've banned zoos — when option 2 could have a variant that reinstates zoos!

Get some sleep Jutsa, , the validity is "has zoos".

I'm surprised no speaker is pointing out the actual reasons that RL nations ban this trade, i.e. eroding the wild populations of endangered species to the point of risking extinction.

Done, 2nd draft is up.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Calvin Williams --> Gavin Williamson may be too hard a reference for anyone who hasn't had the explanation you gave of "This one inspired by the British politician who kept a pet tarantula in Parliament." Even as someone who is British and interested in politics, I had no idea who Gavin Williamson was until I googled "tarantula+parliament".

Maybe we could go with a more direct snake pun instead? Something like Owe Fidian, or Sir Penn Tinyear?

[Jutsa]

the validity is "has zoos".

Wow I botched the heck out of that. I meant "Restricting the whole issue from nations that've banned zoos".

I still mean what I said — genuinely. A reversal variant would be perfect for nations that have banned zoos.

Also, agreed, this, like a few other issues in the gamebase, wouldn't really be possible without pets,
but afaik pets being banned isn't exactly its own tracked policy?

Get some sleep Jutsa,

The sad thing is this is true and I just had 11 hours of sleep that morning.

[Baggieland]

Calvin Williams --> Gavin Williamson may be too hard a reference for anyone who hasn't had the explanation you gave of "This one inspired by the British politician who kept a pet tarantula in Parliament." Even as someone who is British and interested in politics, I had no idea who Gavin Williamson was until I googled "tarantula+parliament".

Maybe we could go with a more direct snake pun instead? Something like Owe Fidian, or Sir Penn Tinyear?

Okay, changed the name.

I still mean what I said — genuinely. A reversal variant would be perfect for nations that have banned zoos.

Okay, I've made a doppelganger for zoos / no zoos.

The sad thing is this is true and I just had 11 hours of sleep that morning.

Obviously you need more sleep. Try 15 hours.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Isn't the title Ms. normally attached to a surname rather than a firstname, except for with pornstars? Ms. Dahlia sounds odd to me, unless Dahlia is made the surname.

[Baggieland]

Isn't the title Ms. normally attached to a surname rather than a firstname, except for with pornstars? Ms. Dahlia sounds odd to me, unless Dahlia is made the surname.

Very well. 4th draft is up.

[Jutsa]

Yay, I feel complete now.

Well, not quite. That said, it feels sad that option 2 doesn't also have "Pet shops should be banned from selling anything other than cats, dogs and cute little bunnies."
I mean, I understand why — reinstating zoos is a big decision in its own — but doing that without restricting pet shops still feels like a wee bit of an untied loose end...

[Baggieland]

Well, not quite. That said, it feels sad that option 2 doesn't also have "Pet shops should be banned from selling anything other than cats, dogs and cute little bunnies."
I mean, I understand why — reinstating zoos is a big decision in its own — but doing that without restricting pet shops still feels like a wee bit of an untied loose end...

Very well, Jutsa, 5th draft is up. But please don't send me hugs again!

[Jutsa]

Well, not quite. That said, it feels sad that option 2 doesn't also have "Pet shops should be banned from selling anything other than cats, dogs and cute little bunnies."
I mean, I understand why — reinstating zoos is a big decision in its own — but doing that without restricting pet shops still feels like a wee bit of an untied loose end...

Very well, Jutsa, 5th draft is up. But please don't send me hugs again!

I wish I could promise you that.
but my memory will either make me forget something while I'm doing it or eternally remember the most unimportant things.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

I like it.

BTW, I want all the hugs.

[Baggieland]

Submitted, thanks everyone.

[Australian rePublic]

Good Luck!

[Baggieland]

Good Luck!

Thanks for ALL the "good lucks"!