Description: Following the midnight release of the newest album by @@DEMONYM@@-nationalist metal band Exterminate Bigtopia, the number of hate crimes against Bigtopians has spiked threefold. After an incident at @@CAPITAL@@ Technical School yesterday where a Bigtopian teacher was burned in effigy for being "too foreign", the public outcry has grown to deafening levels.
Validity: Youth Rebelliousness greater than zero
Option 1: "Look at what this awful racket has done to our children," sobs @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, leader of Matrons Against Malicious Music. She holds up a partially finished crochet of @@NAME@@'s national flag. "Our family are proud @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ and have been since we escaped Brasilistan. But now my little @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ is listening to extremist music like Biologically Superior Werewolf from Blackacre at all hours of the night! Keep this evil nonsense out of my baby's ears- ban all racist music, especially if teenagers are listening to it."
Fallout: @@DEMONYM@@ police officers set up illegal music stings in school lunchrooms
Option 2: Your teenage niece, who is wearing an Exterminate Bigtopia tshirt, elbows her way into your office. "This is exactly why everyone's mad at you!" she exclaims. "Who cares if we say some mean things about Bigtopians? Last time I checked, @@NAME@@ still had freedom of speech! Leave us alone and let us listen to what we want to." Must not have autocracy
Fallout: “Day of the Rope” is the top song of the summer
Option 3: Your teenage niece, who is wearing an Exterminate Bigtopia tshirt, elbows her way into your office. "This is exactly why everyone's mad at you!" she exclaims. "Who cares if we say some mean things about Bigtopians? @@NAME@@ might not have freedom of speech, but you can't freak about every little thing we say! Leave us alone and let us listen to what we want to." Must have autocracy
Fallout: “Day of the Rope” is the top song of the summer
Option 4: Your mother totters over, cane in hand, to offer you a fresh bowl of chicken soup. "Now dearie," she says,"what those boys did yesterday wasn’t very nice. But the news told me just yesterday that most Bigtopians are criminals, and it is true that they've taken quite a lot of @@DEMONYM@@ jobs. Maybe we shouldn't be letting those sort of people live with us."
Fallout: glass sales in @@CAPITAL@@ are at an all-time high
Description: After your niece was filmed burning the @@NAME@@ flag and screaming "Down with @@LEADER@@!", her parents have drawn your attention to the music popular in her peer group. It seems many of these artists promote values opposed to that of @@NAME@@, with some even calling for violent uprisings. With whispers of youth alienation in the air, your Minister of Problem Solving has assembled a group of alleged experts with strong opinions about the matter.
Validity: Youth Rebelliousness greater than zeroOption 1: "Look at what this awful racket has done to our children," meekly mutters @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, leader of Matrons Against Malicious Music. She holds up a partially finished crochet of @@NAME@@'s national flag. "Our family are proud @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ and have been since we escaped Brasilistan. But now my little @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ is listening to godless, secular music like God is a Midget and Separation of Church and Sense. Keep this evil nonsense out of my baby's ears- ban any music that doesn't support @@RELIGION@@ and traditional values." Must have theocracy
Fallout: @@DEMONYM@@ police officers set up illegal music stings in school lunchrooms
Other options deleted to conserve post spaceOption 6: "A simple ban does not go far enough," replies @@RANDOMNAME@@, a shadowy figure who seems to be in all of your meetings. "I have it on good authority that this music was introduced to @@NAME@@'s youth by agents of East Lebatuck. Or was it Blackacre? Anyway, we need to be proactive. Let my agents "investigate" the purveyors of this filth and we'll ensure that the problem is fixed." Must not have socialism
Fallout: Missing teenagers are reportedly at summer camp
Option 7: "A simple ban does not go far enough," replies @@RANDOMNAME@@, a shadowy figure who seems to be in all of your meetings. "I have it on good authority that this music was introduced to @@NAME@@'s youth by agents of the United Federation. Or was it Blackacre? Anyway, we need to be proactive. Let my agents "investigate" the purveyors of this filth and we'll ensure that the problem is fixed." Must have socialism
Fallout: Missing teenagers are reportedly at summer campOption 8: "This ain't nothin but a problem of substitution," offers United Federation ambassador Jim Harpins."In my country, President Hawkins had his campaign staff whip up a couple little ditties about freedom and patriotism and such, and then did a little quid pro quo with the radio industry. Now it's all you can hear these days! The kids learn obedience and trust in our Constitution, and they certainly don't go burnin' our flag. Y'all should think about doin' the same." Must not have socialism, autocracy, or theocracy
Fallout: State- sponsored music has struck a sour note with the citizens of @@NAME@@
Option 9: "This is nothing but a problem of substitution," offers East Lebatuckese ambassador Fedorich Stateyev. "In my country, all music is created by the Composer's Union and is vetted by the People's Commissariat of Culture to keep our children from consuming subversive, anti-proletarian messages. They learn obedience and trust in the People's Revolution, and they certainly don't burn our flag. Our Comrades in @@NAME@@ would be wise to do the same." Must have socialism policy
Fallout: State- sponsored music has struck a sour note with the citizens of @@NAME@@
Option 10: "This is nothing but a problem of substitution," offers Dàguó ambassador YuSu Lo. "In my country, our Holy Emperor, long may he live, ordered the lesser Eunuchs to create soothing hymns praising his name. All Dàguó children are required to listen to these hymns hourly. They learn obedience and trust in our Holy Emperor, long may he live, and they certainly do not burn our flag. Those wise enough to seek Heaven's Mandate should do the same." Must have theocracy policy
Fallout: State- sponsored music has struck a sour note with the citizens of @@NAME@@
Option 11: "This is nothing but a problem of substitution," offers Dàguó ambassador YuSu Lo. "In my country, our Holy Emperor, long may he live, ordered the lesser Eunuchs to create soothing hymns praising his name. All Dàguó children are required to listen to these hymns hourly. They learn obedience and trust in our Holy Emperor, long may he live, and they certainly do not burn our flag. Your government would be wise to do the same." Must have Autocracy policy Must not have socialism policy, Must not have theocracy policy
Fallout: State- sponsored music has struck a sour note with the citizens of @@NAME@@Option 12: Your niece glares at you from across your office, where she has sat ignored for at least half an hour. "How about you leave us alone and let us listen to what we want to. Y'know, free speech and all that," she mutters.
Fallout: Assassinate all Politicians is the top song of the summer
Description: After your niece was caught with several cans of gasoline and the plans to your office, she was taken into custody by law enforcement. It seems she was inspired to attempt this act by the music popular in her peer group; many of these artists promote values opposed to that of @@NAME@@, with some even calling for violent uprisings. With whispers of youth alienation in the air, your Minister of Problem Solving has assembled a group of alleged experts with strong opinions about the matter.
Validity: Youth Rebelliousness greater than zeroOption 1: "Look at what this awful racket has done to our children," meekly mutters @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, leader of Matrons Against Malicious Music. She holds up a partially finished crochet of @@NAME@@'s national flag. "Our family are proud @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ and have been since we escaped Brasilistan. But now my little @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ is listening to godless, secular music like God is a Midget and Separation of Church and Sense. Keep this evil nonsense out of my baby's ears- ban any music that doesn't support @@RELIGION@@ and traditional values." Must have theocracy
Fallout: @@DEMONYM@@ police officers set up illegal music stings in school lunchrooms
Other options deleted to conserve post spaceOption 6: "A simple ban does not go far enough," replies @@RANDOMNAME@@, a shadowy figure who seems to be in all of your meetings. "I have it on good authority that this music was introduced to @@NAME@@'s youth by agents of East Lebatuck. Or was it Blackacre? Anyway, we need to be proactive. Let my agents "investigate" the purveyors of this filth and we'll ensure that the problem is fixed." Must not have socialism
Fallout: Missing teenagers are reportedly at summer camp
Option 7: "A simple ban does not go far enough," replies @@RANDOMNAME@@, a shadowy figure who seems to be in all of your meetings. "I have it on good authority that this music was introduced to @@NAME@@'s youth by agents of the United Federation. Or was it Blackacre? Anyway, we need to be proactive. Let my agents "investigate" the purveyors of this filth and we'll ensure that the problem is fixed." Must have socialism
Fallout: Missing teenagers are reportedly at summer campOption 8: "This ain't nothin but a problem of substitution," offers United Federation ambassador Jim Harpins."In my country, President Hawkins had his campaign staff whip up a couple little ditties about freedom and patriotism and such, and then did a little quid pro quo with the radio industry. Now it's all you can hear these days! The kids learn obedience and trust in our Constitution, and they certainly don't go thinkin' about lefty politics. Y'all should think about doin' the same." Must not have socialism, autocracy, or theocracy
Fallout: State- sponsored music has struck a sour note with the citizens of @@NAME@@
Option 9: "This is nothing but a problem of substitution," offers East Lebatuckese ambassador Fedorich Stateyev. "In my country, all music is created by the Composer's Union and is vetted by the People's Commissariat of Culture to keep our children from consuming subversive, anti-proletarian messages. They learn obedience and trust in the People's Revolution, and they remain loyal to Marxism even to death. Our Comrades in @@NAME@@ would be wise to do the same." Must have socialism policy
Fallout: State- sponsored music has struck a sour note with the citizens of @@NAME@@
Option 10: "This is nothing but a problem of substitution," offers Dàguó ambassador YuSu Lo. "In my country, our Holy Emperor, long may he live, ordered the lesser Eunuchs to create soothing hymns praising his name. All Dàguó children are required to listen to these hymns hourly. They learn obedience and trust in our Holy Emperor, long may he live, and they remain loyal to him no matter what. Those wise enough to seek Heaven's Mandate should do the same." Must have theocracy policy
Fallout: State- sponsored music has struck a sour note with the citizens of @@NAME@@
Option 11: "This is nothing but a problem of substitution," offers Dàguó ambassador YuSu Lo. "In my country, our Holy Emperor, long may he live, ordered the lesser Eunuchs to create soothing hymns praising his name. All Dàguó children are required to listen to these hymns hourly. They learn obedience and trust in our Holy Emperor, long may he live, and they remain loyal to him no matter what. Your government would be wise to do the same." Must have Autocracy policy Must not have socialism policy, Must not have theocracy policy
Fallout: State- sponsored music has struck a sour note with the citizens of @@NAME@@Option 12: Your niece glares at you from across your office, where she has sat ignored for at least half an hour. "How about you leave us alone and let us listen to what we want to. Y'know, free speech and all that," she mutters.
Fallout: Assassinate all Politicians is the top song of the summer
Description: After you were attacked by a gang of teenage thugs while leaving the @@CAPITAL@ Technical School on @@NAME@@ is Great Day, interrogation revealed they were inspired by the violent political band We Hate @@LEADER@@. It seems that much of the music popular among today's youth promote values opposed to that of @@NAME@@, with many artists calling for violent revolution and your death. With whispers of youth alienation in the air, your Minister of Problem Solving has assembled a group of alleged experts with strong opinions about the matter.
Validity: Youth Rebelliousness greater than zeroOption 1: "Look at what this awful racket has done to our children," mutters @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, leader of Matrons Against Malicious Music. She holds up a partially finished crochet of @@NAME@@'s national flag. "Our family are proud @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ and have been since we escaped Brasilistan. But now my little @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ is listening to godless, secular music like No Gods, No Managers and Separation of Church and Sense. Keep this evil nonsense out of my baby's ears- ban any music that doesn't support @@RELIGION@@ and traditional values." Must have theocracy
Fallout: @@DEMONYM@@ police officers set up illegal music stings in school lunchrooms
Other options deleted to preserve post spaceOption 6: "A simple ban does not go far enough," replies @@RANDOMNAME@@, a shadowy figure who seems to be in all of your meetings. "I have it on good authority that this music was introduced to @@NAME@@'s youth by agents of East Lebatuck. Or was it Blackacre? Anyway, we need to be proactive. Let my agents "investigate" the purveyors of this filth and we'll ensure that the problem is fixed." Must not have socialism
Fallout: Missing teenagers are reportedly at summer camp
Option 7: "A simple ban does not go far enough," replies @@RANDOMNAME@@, a shadowy figure who seems to be in all of your meetings. "I have it on good authority that this music was introduced to @@NAME@@'s youth by agents of the United Federation. Or was it Blackacre? Anyway, we need to be proactive. Let my agents "investigate" the purveyors of this filth and we'll ensure that the problem is fixed." Must have socialism
Fallout: Missing teenagers are reportedly at summer campOption 8: "This ain't nothin but a problem of substitution," offers United Federation ambassador Jim Harpins."In my country, President Hawkins had his campaign staff whip up a couple little ditties about freedom and patriotism and such, and then did a little quid pro quo with the radio industry. Now it's all you can hear these days! The kids learn obedience and trust in our Constitution, and they certainly don't go thinkin' about lefty politics. Y'all should think about doin' the same." Must not have socialism, autocracy, or theocracy
Fallout: State- sponsored music has struck a sour note with the citizens of @@NAME@@
Option 9: "This is nothing but a problem of substitution," offers East Lebatuckese ambassador Fedorich Stateyev. "In my country, all music is created by the Composer's Union and is vetted by the People's Commissariat of Culture to keep our children from consuming subversive, anti-proletarian messages. They learn obedience and trust in the People's Revolution, and they remain loyal to Marxism even to death. Our Comrades in @@NAME@@ would be wise to do the same." Must have socialism policy
Fallout: State- sponsored music has struck a sour note with the citizens of @@NAME@@
Option 10: "This is nothing but a problem of substitution," offers Dàguó ambassador Yuso Lo. "In my country, our Holy Emperor, long may he live, ordered the lesser Eunuchs to create soothing hymns praising his name. All Dàguó children are required to listen to these hymns hourly. They learn obedience and trust in our Holy Emperor, long may he live, and they remain loyal to him no matter what. Those wise enough to seek Heaven's Mandate should do the same." Must have theocracy policy
Fallout: State- sponsored music has struck a sour note with the citizens of @@NAME@@
Option 11: "This is nothing but a problem of substitution," offers Dàguó ambassador Yuso Lo. "In my country, our Holy Emperor, long may he live, ordered the lesser Eunuchs to create soothing hymns praising his name. All Dàguó children are required to listen to these hymns hourly. They learn obedience and trust in our Holy Emperor, long may he live, and they remain loyal to him no matter what. Your government would be wise to do the same." Must have Autocracy policy Must not have socialism policy, Must not have theocracy policy
Fallout: State- sponsored music has struck a sour note with the citizens of @@NAME@@Option 12: Your teenage niece, who is wearing a We Hate @@LEADER@@ tshirt, elbows her way into your office. "You just can't deal with criticism, can you?" she exclaims. "How about you leave us alone and let us listen to what we want to!"
Fallout: Assassinate all Politicians is the top song of the summer
Description: After you were attacked by a gang of teenage thugs while leaving the @@CAPITAL@ Technical School, interrogation revealed they were inspired by the violent political band Exterminate Bigtopia, a prominent member of the @@DEMONYM@@-nationalist metal scene. Bands like Exterminate Bigtopia are popular among young people and promote attacks against non-@@DEMONYM@@ citizens, allegedly intending to culminate in your assassination and a coup of the government. Your Head of Security has convened a panel of alleged experts to deal with the matter, while your mother has convened a warm cup of soup for your aching head.
Validity: Youth Rebelliousness greater than zero
Option 1: "Look at what this awful racket has done to our children," sobs @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, leader of Matrons Against Malicious Music. She holds up a partially finished crochet of @@NAME@@'s national flag. "Our family are proud @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ and have been since we escaped Brasilistan. But now my little @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ is listening to extremist music like Biologically Superior Werewolf from Blackacre at all hours of the night! Keep this evil nonsense out of my baby's ears- ban any racist music that comes into our dear nation."
Fallout: @@DEMONYM@@ police officers set up illegal music stings in school lunchrooms
Option 2: "This is nothing but a problem of substitution," offers Dàguó ambassador Lo Knot. "In my country, our Holy Emperor, long may he live, ordered the lesser Eunuchs to create soothing hymns praising his name. All Dàguó children are required to listen to these hymns hourly. They learn obedience and trust in our Holy Emperor, long may he live, and they remain loyal to him even to death. Those wise enough to seek Heaven's Mandate should do the same."
Fallout: state- sponsored music has struck a sour note
Option 3: Your teenage niece, who is wearing an Exterminate Bigtopia tshirt, elbows her way into your office. "This is exactly why everyone's mad at you!" she exclaims. "Who cares if we say some mean things about Bigtopians? Last time I checked, @@NAME@@ still had freedom of speech! Leave us alone and let us listen to what we want to." Must not have autocracy
Fallout: Assassinate all Politicians is the top song of the summer
Option 4: Your teenage niece, who is wearing an Exterminate Bigtopia tshirt, elbows her way into your office. "This is exactly why everyone's mad at you!" she exclaims. "Who cares if we say some mean things about Bigtopians? @@NAME@@ might not have freedom of speech, but you can't react to every little thing we say! Leave us alone and let us listen to what we want to." Must have autocracy
Fallout: Assassinate all Politicians is the top song of the summer
Option 5: Your mother totters over, cane in hand, to offer you a fresh bowl of soup. "Now dearie," she says," it wasn't very nice of those boys to try and hurt you. But the news told me just yesterday that most Bigtopians are criminals, and it is true that they've taken quite a lot of @@DEMONYM@@ jobs. Maybe we shouldn't be letting those sort of people live with us."
Fallout: glass sales in @@CAPITAL@@ are at an all-time high
Description: Following the midnight release of the newest album by @@DEMONYM@@-nationalist metal band Exterminate Bigtopia, the number of hate crimes against Bigtopians has spiked threefold. After an incident at @@CAPITAL@@ Technical School yesterday involving Tiki Torches, dissected frogs, and three hundred and eleven white lilies, the public outcry has grown to deafening levels.
Validity: Youth Rebelliousness greater than zero
Option 1: "Look at what this awful racket has done to our children," sobs @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, leader of Matrons Against Malicious Music. She holds up a partially finished crochet of @@NAME@@'s national flag. "Our family are proud @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ and have been since we escaped Brasilistan. But now my little @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ is listening to extremist music like Biologically Superior Werewolf from Blackacre at all hours of the night! Keep this evil nonsense out of my baby's ears- ban all racist music, especially if teenagers are listening to it."
Fallout: @@DEMONYM@@ police officers set up illegal music stings in school lunchrooms
Option 2: Your teenage niece, who is wearing an Exterminate Bigtopia tshirt, elbows her way into your office. "This is exactly why everyone's mad at you!" she exclaims. "Who cares if we say some mean things about Bigtopians? Last time I checked, @@NAME@@ still had freedom of speech! Leave us alone and let us listen to what we want to." Must not have autocracy
Fallout: “Day of the Rope” is the top song of the summer
Option 3: Your teenage niece, who is wearing an Exterminate Bigtopia tshirt, elbows her way into your office. "This is exactly why everyone's mad at you!" she exclaims. "Who cares if we say some mean things about Bigtopians? @@NAME@@ might not have freedom of speech, but you can't freak about every little thing we say! Leave us alone and let us listen to what we want to." Must have autocracy
Fallout: “Day of the Rope” is the top song of the summer
Option 4: Your mother totters over, cane in hand, to offer you a fresh bowl of chicken soup. "Now dearie," she says,"what those boys did yesterday wasn’t very nice. But the news told me just yesterday that most Bigtopians are criminals, and it is true that they've taken quite a lot of @@DEMONYM@@ jobs. Maybe we shouldn't be letting those sort of people live with us."
Fallout: glass sales in @@CAPITAL@@ are at an all-time high
