Issue 1 Draft 2:
[Name] The Crime of the Century
[validity:] Must have cars, prisons
[description] Folk singer Arlo @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@ is no stranger to interesting stories, but a recent favor for a small-town diner may take the prize. Unable to find an open garbage dump to dispose of accumulated garbage from his long-time friend Alistair's business for over a week, Arlo decided to make a statement by finally chucking the load over a nearby cliff. The resulting (rather large) garbage mound took the newscycle by storm, with local papers proudly proclaiming it 'The Crime of The Century'.
[option] "See -- protest works!" proclaims Arlo, speaking from inside a holding cell at the local police station. "I know you get a lotta requests, @@LEADER@@, but what I'm asking here is relatively simple. Although the media's all outraged over this 'garbage bomb', just think what might accumulate over the days of other landfill closures. Hire more laborers, give the workers a raise to keep up with inflation, etcetera, but c'mon man -- the bottom line is that landfills need to be open all hours of the day, every day of the year. That's only common sense, right?"
[effect] sanitation workers are primarily foreign-born
[option] "You're not dragging me away from family during my day off," snarls local sanitation worker @@RANDOMNAME@@, driving onto the scene in a large bulldozer. "It's bad enough I had to take this job to make ends meet, don't make me spend more time here than I have to. We're already overworked, underpaid, and taken for granted. If you don't make tidy up our benefits, my team'll be out on the picket line by next morning."
[effect] garbage dumps are closed more often than open
[option] "Not so fast," exclaims Patrol Officer Obie, handing you a large stack of 8 x 10 colored glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one. "Look at this evidence. I don't really give a hoot what happens with the garbage dumps, but don't think for a second you're letting Arlo here off the hook. Rather than reward his intentions, we've got to increase the punishment for litterers. Arlo could use a good year behind bars to think about what he did, especially considering the size of that damn trash heap."
[effect] disheveled car interiors are cited for "drivin' garbage around in the vicinity"
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Issue 2 Draft 1:
[Name] Alistair's Diner
[validity] consequence for nations with conscription, options 1 and 2 of previous issue
[description] The newest folk anthem from Arlo @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@ has proven to be a black eye for the military, after the singer noted that his conscription paperwork was held up due to a prior arrest for littering. A number of @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ appear to have taken this to heart, turning a blind eye to many an intentional mess across @@NAME@@.
[option] "No, no, no," tuts Arlo, strumming on an acoustic guitar. "It's like they didn't even listen to why that littering charge occurred in the first place. I understand that the army didn't think I was moral enough to join the army, burn women, kids, houses and villages -- as a litterer, of course. That don't mean the public oughta make an Alistair's Diner anti-massacre movement about this. Ya'll gotta get a Public Service Announcement going, and stat. Heck, I think I know just the song..."
[effect] military recruiting jingles are oddly subversive
[option] "I thought he was our guy," mutters @@RANDOMNAME@@, the sergeant in charge of the recruiting hall. "You should have seen his session with the psychiatrist; I almost awarded him a medal for his enthusiasm. That said, I guess I can see where you're coming from. Lemme make some calls, and my office will try and loosen some rules here."
[effect] even a four-part harmony ain't enough to convince the military you're not fit for service
[option] "Yeah, that singer was sitting the Group W bench with the rest of us 'troublemakers'," grumbles @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, a burly ex-con whose paperwork was also under review. "Whole bench scooted away from him when he admitted to littering. Between the invasive medical tests, incomprehensible barking from that sergeant, and being forced to fraternize with a litterer, that day was a nightmare. At this point, I'd rather have had you nix the draft and send me back to prison before being forced into a life of that kind of 'service'."
[effect] there ain't nobody moral enough to join the army after all