[SUBMITTED] An Honour and a Privilege
Posted: Wed Sep 18, 2019 12:31 amby Baggieland
Here's another consequence issue.
[TITLE] You're Going Home in @@A@@ @@CAPITAL@@ Ambulance
[DESCRIPTION] It had to happen. As soon as you decreed that football hooligans could 'let off some steam' without fear of police involvement -- the two rival clubs of @@CAPITAL@@ have been drawn against each other in the next round of the @@INITIAL@@.F.A. Cup. A momentous brawl is headed for @@CAPITAL@@ city centre.
[VALIDITY] consequence from 964.3
[OPTION] "This is gonna be ******* awesome!" declares Four Fingers @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME@@, as he spits out a tooth that must have been dislodged in a previous fight. "We haven't faced those muppets from @@CAPITAL@@ Wanderers in the cup for yonks -- as soon as the final whistle blows -- it's on! If I were you though, I'd close down the city centre and order all non-participants to stay home on that Saturday night. We only want to beat up Wanderers fans; there's no need for bystanders to get entangled in our fisticuffs."
[EFFECT] Saturday night's all right for fighting – but not a lot else
[OR] Saturdays are the new Wednesdays
[OPTION] "What you looking at?" asks 'Atchett 'Arry, as he squares up to Four Fingers right in front of you. "Having a scrap with those scummers from West @@CAPITAL@@ Albion will be the highlight of the year. But instead of losing money by shutting down city centre businesses, why don't you make some money? Have the fight in Centre Park, then spectators can pay to watch the brawl."
[EFFECT] matchday is played by gentlemen and watched by hooligans – whereas postmatch is played by hooligans and watched by gentlemen
[OPTION] "Oi! Why is it only @@CAPITAL@@ that gets all the fun?" questions Bone-Crusher @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME@@, as he cracks his knuckles in anticipation. "Me and the lads from @@ANIMAL@@ City F.C. would love to get involved here. I know we're not local rivals with the two @@CAPITAL@@ clubs, but we've had many a scrap with them both down the years. The government should lay on special trains so that hooligans from all over the country can get to this battle royal. I hear the boys from Greenville United are well-up for a ruck."
[EFFECT] the kick-off starts at @@CAPITAL@@ central train station
[OPTION] "I know the best way to deal with these hooligans," states Colonel @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, as @@HE@@ barges past the three sports fans. "These hoodlums constantly hone their skills on soldiers who are out on leave, 'squaddy-bashing' I believe is what they call it. This upcoming melee ought to be refereed by the military, and the losing side should be press-ganged into the army. That will solve our recruitment problems."
[EFFECT] referees are equipped with a whistle and a truncheon
[DESCRIPTION] It had to happen. As soon as you decreed that football hooligans could 'let off some steam' without fear of police involvement -- the two rival clubs of @@CAPITAL@@ have been drawn against each other in the next round of the @@INITIAL@@.F.A. Cup. A momentous brawl is headed for @@CAPITAL@@ city centre.
[VALIDITY] consequence from 964.3
[OPTION] "This is gonna be ******* awesome!" declares Four Fingers @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME@@, as he spits out a tooth that must have been dislodged in a previous fight. "We haven't faced those muppets from @@CAPITAL@@ Wanderers in the cup for yonks -- as soon as the final whistle blows -- it's on! If I were you though, I'd close down the city centre and order all non-participants to stay home on that Saturday night. We only want to beat up Wanderers fans; there's no need for bystanders to get entangled in our fisticuffs."
[EFFECT] Saturday night's all right for fighting – but not a lot else
[OR] Saturdays are the new Wednesdays
[OPTION] "What you looking at?" asks 'Atchett 'Arry, as he squares up to Four Fingers right in front of you. "Having a scrap with those scummers from West @@CAPITAL@@ Albion will be the highlight of the year. But instead of losing money by shutting down city centre businesses, why don't you make some money? Have the fight in Centre Park, then spectators can pay to watch the brawl."
[EFFECT] matchday is played by gentlemen and watched by hooligans – whereas postmatch is played by hooligans and watched by gentlemen
[OPTION] "Oi! Why is it only @@CAPITAL@@ that gets all the fun?" questions Bone-Crusher @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME@@, as he cracks his knuckles in anticipation. "Me and the lads from @@ANIMAL@@ City F.C. would love to get involved here. I know we're not local rivals with the two @@CAPITAL@@ clubs, but we've had many a scrap with them both down the years. The government should lay on special trains so that hooligans from all over the country can get to this battle royal. I hear the boys from Greenville United are well-up for a ruck."
[EFFECT] the kick-off starts at @@CAPITAL@@ central train station
[OPTION] "I know the best way to deal with these hooligans," states Colonel @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, as @@HE@@ barges past the three sports fans. "These hoodlums constantly hone their skills on soldiers who are out on leave, 'squaddy-bashing' I believe is what they call it. This upcoming melee ought to be refereed by the military, and the losing side should be press-ganged into the army. That will solve our recruitment problems."
[EFFECT] referees are equipped with a whistle and a truncheon
[TITLE] An Honour and a Privilege
[DESCRIPTION] Now that football hooligans can 'let off some steam' without worrying about police involvement, hordes of foreign hooligans from across @@REGION@@ have been descending upon @@DEMONYM@@ cities. These cheeky foreigners have been taking advantage of the new law and are causing mayhem everywhere they go.
[VALIDITY] consequence from 964.3
[OPTION] "We must put our rivalries aside and form a Barmy Army: Albion, City, United, it doesn't matter... but not the Wanderers," suggests Four Fingers @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME@@, as he cracks his knuckles in anticipation. "We need government permission to form street patrols, then we can show those Maxtopian and East Lebatuckese mobs that they can't come to our patch and get away with it. You should pay us a 'Citizens' Defence Force' salary as well. We shall defend our nation whatever the cost may be. We shall fight them in the pubs and in the parking lots of stadia. We shall fight them at the Tube stations and outside the kebab shops. We shall never chicken out!"
[EFFECT] if you're in need of assistance – just ask your friendly neighbourhood hooligan
[OPTION] "He's right that we need to from a Barmy Army," states 'Atchett 'Arry, as he spits out a tooth that must have been dislodged in a previous fight. "But we should take the fight to them. We need to deploy our Barmy Army throughout @@REGION@@ and hit those muppets on their own turf. If the government could provide us with specially laid on transport, to maximise our numbers, that would be great. And one more thing, in @@REGION@@ we can still get arrested for hooliganism, so if any of us get knicked by the foreign rozzas, could you bail us out?"
[EFFECT] @@DEMONYM@@ holidaymakers need to tip more heavily whilst abroad.
[OPTION] "Oi! It seems to me that the main problem here is the disruption to everyday life," comments @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, whom you have just seen casually walking through the middle of a huge scrap between the rival firms of Four Fingers and 'Atchett 'Arry, which has been going off on your lawn since the meeting began. "Why don't we create the inaugural Hooligan World Cup? Then the boys can have their fisticuffs in a purpose-built venue. They have their fun, the winners get the bragging rights, but most importantly, the rest of us can get on with our bloody lives!"
[EFFECT] the seats inside the newest stadium have to be replaced after every match
[OR] the screams coming from inside the newest stadium are not from excited fans
[OR] the winners of the newest World Cup can be found in the same hospital ward as the losers
[DESCRIPTION] Now that football hooligans can 'let off some steam' without worrying about police involvement, hordes of foreign hooligans from across @@REGION@@ have been descending upon @@DEMONYM@@ cities. These cheeky foreigners have been taking advantage of the new law and are causing mayhem everywhere they go.
[VALIDITY] consequence from 964.3
[OPTION] "We must put our rivalries aside and form a Barmy Army: Albion, City, United, it doesn't matter... but not the Wanderers," suggests Four Fingers @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME@@, as he cracks his knuckles in anticipation. "We need government permission to form street patrols, then we can show those Maxtopian and East Lebatuckese mobs that they can't come to our patch and get away with it. You should pay us a 'Citizens' Defence Force' salary as well. We shall defend our nation whatever the cost may be. We shall fight them in the pubs and in the parking lots of stadia. We shall fight them at the Tube stations and outside the kebab shops. We shall never chicken out!"
[EFFECT] if you're in need of assistance – just ask your friendly neighbourhood hooligan
[OPTION] "He's right that we need to from a Barmy Army," states 'Atchett 'Arry, as he spits out a tooth that must have been dislodged in a previous fight. "But we should take the fight to them. We need to deploy our Barmy Army throughout @@REGION@@ and hit those muppets on their own turf. If the government could provide us with specially laid on transport, to maximise our numbers, that would be great. And one more thing, in @@REGION@@ we can still get arrested for hooliganism, so if any of us get knicked by the foreign rozzas, could you bail us out?"
[EFFECT] @@DEMONYM@@ holidaymakers need to tip more heavily whilst abroad.
[OPTION] "Oi! It seems to me that the main problem here is the disruption to everyday life," comments @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, whom you have just seen casually walking through the middle of a huge scrap between the rival firms of Four Fingers and 'Atchett 'Arry, which has been going off on your lawn since the meeting began. "Why don't we create the inaugural Hooligan World Cup? Then the boys can have their fisticuffs in a purpose-built venue. They have their fun, the winners get the bragging rights, but most importantly, the rest of us can get on with our bloody lives!"
[EFFECT] the seats inside the newest stadium have to be replaced after every match
[OR] the screams coming from inside the newest stadium are not from excited fans
[OR] the winners of the newest World Cup can be found in the same hospital ward as the losers
