NATION

PASSWORD

[DRAFT] Searching for that Special Someone

A place to spoil daily issues for those who haven't had them yet, snigger at typos, and discuss ideas for new ones.
User avatar
Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 19438
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Capitalizt

[DRAFT] Searching for that Special Someone

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Mon Sep 09, 2019 8:53 am

Try doing a google image search for idiot. Go on, it's fun. :)

DRAFT 2 11.9.19:
TITLE:
Searching for that Special Someone

VALIDITY:
Internet, Democracy, Some freedom of speech,

DESCRIPTION:
Your PR team have discovered that when you type "idiot", "fool" or "special needs" into the image search function of market-dominating search engine Whoogle, there's at least half a dozen pictures of you, @@LEADER@@, on the first page.


OPTION 1
"Whoogle has always been biased against our politics," argues your Secretary of State, whose recent Whotube rant was taken down by moderators for being 'disgustingly offensive'. "These tech giants are unelected arbiters of internet content, skewing the perceptions of the masses according to their hidden agenda. We need to set up a government-backed organisation that monitors them for bias, and fines them accordingly."

OUTCOME:
typing @@LEADER@@'s name into a search engine always gives zero matches


OPTION 2
"We use complex neutral algorithms that base results on associations created by user uploads and metatags," defends Whoogle CEO Sunder Pikachu. "It's not us calling you an idiot, it's the people. If you value internet neutrality, then you'll grow a thicker skin, and guarantee us freedom from government censorship." He smiles winningly, then mutters under his breath as he turns to leave. "Idiot."

OUTCOME:
a flying elephant and @@LEADER@@ share the same nickname


OPTION 3
"Well, maybe we can improve things without opposing freedom of expression," suggests a tech-savvy aide. "We can aggressively manipulate the Whoogle search engine to ensure your political opponents are made to look ridiculous. Like maybe we can get that picture of the opposition leader's partner looking like an ape, and get that trending. Move with the times, and you can win the memetic war."

OUTCOME:
a politician who is photographed pulling a funny face while eating can say goodbye to their credibility


OPTION 4
"Have you considered the possibility that you ARE an idiot?" challenges your stern aunt, smacking you round the back of the head. "Think for five seconds before you open your mouth. Dress smartly. Be polite to everybody. Avoid saying controversial things. If you want to get respect, be respectful to others, you little fool."

OUTCOME:
an internet search for the word "bland" produces pictures of @@LEADER@@


OPTION 5
"Ban the internet!" shouts your Minister of Equality, waving @@HIS@@ arms about. "Sorry, no, I only yelled that to get your attention. Actually the real problem here is that people are still using 'special needs' as an insult. Can you please invest some more in educating the masses in language sensitivity and respect for the disabled? Don't ban the internet, by the way. That'd be crazy."

OUTCOME:
there's nothing special about @@LEADER@@


DRAFT 1:
TITLE:
Searching for that Special Someone

VALIDITY:
Internet, Democracy, Some freedom of speech,

DESCRIPTION:
Your media management team have discovered that when you type "idiot", "fool" or "special needs" into the image search function of market-dominating search engine Whoogle, there's at least half a dozen pictures of you, @@LEADER@@, on the first page.


OPTION 1
"Whoogle has always been biased against our politics," argues your Secretary of State, whose recent Whotube rant was taken down by moderators for being 'disgustingly offensive'. "These tech giants are unelected arbiters of internet content, skewing the perceptions of the masses according to their hidden agenda. We need to set up a government-backed organisation that monitors them for bias, and fines them accordingly."

OUTCOME:
typing @@LEADER@@'s name into a search engine always gives zero matches


OPTION 2
"We use complex neutral algorithms that base results on associations created by user uploads and metatags," defends Whoogle CEO Sunder Pikachu. "It's not us calling you an idiot, it's the people. If you value internet neutrality, then you'll grow a thicker skin, and guarantee as freedom from government censorship." He smiles winning, then mutters under his breath as he turns to leave. "Idiot."

OUTCOME:
a flying elephant and @@LEADER@@ share the same nickname


OPTION 3
"Well, maybe we can improve things without opposing freedom of expression," suggests a tech-savvy aide. "We can aggressively manipulate the Whoogle search engine to make your political opponents are made to look ridiculous. Like maybe we can get that picture of the opposition leader's partner looking like an ape, and get that trending. Move with the times, and you can win the memetic war."

OUTCOME:
a politician who is photographed pulling a funny face while eating can say goodbye to their credibility


OPTION 4
"Have you considered the possibility that you ARE an idiot?" challenges your stern aunt, smacking you round the back of the head. "Think for five seconds before you open your mouth. Dress smartly. Be polite to everybody. Avoid saying controversial things. If you want to get respect, be respectful to others, you little fool."

OUTCOME:
an internet search for the word "bland" produces pictures of @@LEADER@@


OPTION 5
"Ban the internet!" shouts your Minister of Equality, waving @@HIS@@ arms about. "Sorry, no, I only yelled that to get your attention. Actually the real problem here is that people are still using 'special needs' as an insult. Can you please invest some more in educating the masses in language sensitivity and respect for the disabled? Don't ban the internet, by the way. That'd be crazy."

OUTCOME:
there's nothing special about @@LEADER@@
Last edited by Candlewhisper Archive on Wed Sep 11, 2019 1:35 am, edited 2 times in total.

User avatar
Rainbowsix
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 103
Founded: Nov 27, 2018
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Rainbowsix » Mon Sep 09, 2019 8:55 am

i love this

User avatar
Trotterdam
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 7762
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Mon Sep 09, 2019 9:03 am

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Your media management team have discovered that when you type "idiot", "fool", or "special needs" into the image search function
Comma.

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:"and guarantee as freedom from government censorship."
"Us".

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:a politician who is photographed pulling a funny face while eating can say goodbye to their credibility
"Politicians who are".

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:"Ban the internet!" shouts your Minister of Equality, waving @@HIS@@ arms about. "Sorry, no, I only yelled that to get your attention. Actually the real problem here is that people are still using 'special needs' as an insult. Can you please invest some more in educating the masses in language sensitivity and respect for the disabled? Don't ban the internet, by the way. That'd be crazy."
Heh, I was just about to comment on this before I saw you were ahead of me :)

There's something interesting about the fact that the term "special needs" originated as a euphemism to avoid calling people idiots, but now gets taken almost as offensively as the term "idiot" anyway, rendering the point moot.

User avatar
The Free Joy State
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 9267
Founded: Jan 05, 2014
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby The Free Joy State » Mon Sep 09, 2019 9:05 am

Yeah, I think they changed their algorithm. It doesn't work like it used to anymore. ;)

Candlewhisper Archive wrote: "We can aggressively manipulate the Whoogle search engine to make your political opponents are made to look ridiculous.

This sentence seemed to go a little awry. Maybe: "... to ensure your political opponents are made to look ridiculous."


OPTION 4
"Have you considered the possibility that you ARE an idiot?" challenges your stern aunt, smacking you round the back of the head. "Think for five seconds before you open your mouth. Dress smartly. Be polite to everybody. Avoid saying controversial things. If you want to get respect, be respectful to others, you little fool."

OUTCOME:
an internet search for the word "bland" produces pictures of @@LEADER@@

Love this option, but who will pick an option to acknowledge they're an idiot?
"If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it." - Toni Morrison

My nation does not represent my beliefs or politics.

User avatar
Trotterdam
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 7762
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Mon Sep 09, 2019 9:11 am

The Free Joy State wrote:Love this option, but who will pick an option to acknowledge they're an idiot?
People with an inferiority complex? They exist.

User avatar
Great Robertia
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 53
Founded: Jul 17, 2019
Democratic Socialists

Postby Great Robertia » Mon Sep 09, 2019 10:37 am

I absolutely love this issue, really made me chuckle, especially after having typed in "idiot" into Google.

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Your media management team


Maybe this could be shortened to "Your PR team"?

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:a flying elephant and @@LEADER@@ share the same nickname


Love the reference, but it took me a second to get it. Perhaps "a big-eared elephant and @@LEADER@@ share the same nickname" could sharpen it a little?

Otherwise, all is mentioned what I caught onto myself as well, so no need to reiterate it. Really great issue! I already can't wait to get this one :)
The Empire of Great Robertia
Ruled by His Imperial Majesty, Emperor Robert III of House Orsain
"With the patience of stone and the will of stars."

Note: This nation is not meant to represent the player's political ideals, beliefs or convictions.

User avatar
Jebslund
Minister
 
Posts: 2516
Founded: Sep 14, 2017
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Jebslund » Mon Sep 09, 2019 10:44 am

Trotterdam wrote:
Candlewhisper Archive wrote:a politician who is photographed pulling a funny face while eating can say goodbye to their credibility
"Politicians who are".

"Their" as a gender-neutral singular possessive is informal, but correct. Unless this is a high-school essay or a college thesis, there is no subject-verb agreement error in CA's sentence as written.
Last edited by Jebslund on Mon Sep 09, 2019 10:48 am, edited 2 times in total.
Jebslund is a nation of kerbals ruled by Emperor Jebediah Kerman. We reject tyranny, believing that rights should be protected, though we also believe said rights end where the rights of others begin.
Shockingly, we *do* use NS stats, with the exception of lifespan.
Singular sapient: Jebslunder
Plural Sapient: Jebslunden
Singular/Plural nonsapient: Kermanic
Note: When a verb can logically only be done by the sapient using/piloting/holding the object in question, then the appropriate demonym for the number of sapients is used.

Capitalism, Socialism, and Communism are ECONOMIC SYSTEMS. Stop conflating them with political systems.

User avatar
Australian rePublic
Post Marshal
 
Posts: 17226
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Australian rePublic » Mon Sep 09, 2019 3:37 pm

You'd have to pay people to manipulate the algorithms
Disclaimer: In-Character posts are NOT a reflection of the real world Australian government, any government departments, or any Australian states or territories. I have no authority over real world government decisions. This nation does not reflect my views, as I am trying to unlock banners
From Sydney, NSW. From Greek ancestry. Orthodox Christian. Date of Birth: 1 October 1995
Why stylised as "rePublic"
16 Published Issues and 1 WA resolution
Please sign my petition to help me achieve justice (real life)
Issue Ideas You Can Steal

User avatar
Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 19438
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Capitalizt

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Mon Sep 09, 2019 3:45 pm

Comma.


Haha. No.

"Us".


Will fix.

"Politicians who are".


Will think on it. As has been noted it's not technically incorrect, but there is a stylistic consistency point to consider.

Heh, I was just about to comment on this before I saw you were ahead of me :)

There's something interesting about the fact that the term "special needs" originated as a euphemism to avoid calling people idiots, but now gets taken almost as offensively as the term "idiot" anyway, rendering the point moot.


I admit, I had a ban the internet option there at first. I then came up with the title, and then thought I can't use "special" as an insult without being self-aware about it.

User avatar
Fontenais
Secretary
 
Posts: 28
Founded: May 18, 2019
New York Times Democracy

Postby Fontenais » Tue Sep 10, 2019 12:31 am

I think this is really good. Just one minor issue:
Candlewhisper Archive wrote:He smiles winning, then mutters under his breath as he turns to leave.

Should this be, 'He smiles winningly' or 'He flashes a winning smile'?

User avatar
Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 19438
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Capitalizt

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Tue Sep 10, 2019 1:50 am

This sentence seemed to go a little awry. Maybe: "... to ensure your political opponents are made to look ridiculous."


Whoops. Will fix.

Love this option, but who will pick an option to acknowledge they're an idiot?


Well, you and I know from the stats people pick all sorts of unexpected options. So long as there's at least a couple of reasonable positions to take, we can throw in some unreasonable ones.

TBH, I might pick this option for some of my nations, as it suggests self-reflection and humility, which are needed qualities in politics these days.

User avatar
Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 19438
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Capitalizt

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Tue Sep 10, 2019 1:51 am

Fontenais wrote:I think this is really good.


Great, submitted!

(kidding)

Should this be, 'He smiles winningly' or 'He flashes a winning smile'?


Yes! You pass the test.

Ahem.

My first drafts are always a bit of a mess. Will tidy up.
Last edited by Candlewhisper Archive on Tue Sep 10, 2019 1:51 am, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Daarwyrth
Envoy
 
Posts: 209
Founded: Jul 05, 2016
Corrupt Dictatorship

Postby Daarwyrth » Tue Sep 10, 2019 10:37 am

Really solid looking draft, it's brilliant, as always :D

I really like option 4 because it's exactly the kind of humility I'd be looking for, for my nation's leader.

Great Robertia wrote:Love the reference, but it took me a second to get it. Perhaps "a big-eared elephant and @@LEADER@@ share the same nickname" could sharpen it a little?


I agree, for a minute there I was like "huh, flying elephant? Oh, you mean Dumbo!", because I always knew him as the big-eared elephant too, instead of flying.

Otherwise, there's nothing I can find that really sticks out as a problem to me.
The Queen of Daarwyrth

My nation does not represent my personal political beliefs or ideologies.

User avatar
Trotterdam
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 7762
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Tue Sep 10, 2019 7:16 pm

Lots of elephants have big ears. Most of them don't fly.

User avatar
Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 19438
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Capitalizt

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Wed Sep 11, 2019 1:28 am

Trotterdam wrote:Lots of elephants have big ears. Most of them don't fly.


Yep, I agree with Trotterdam.

Damn, I'm saying that a lot these days. One of us must be softening in our old age.


Advertisement

Remove ads

Return to Got Issues?

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users

Advertisement

Remove ads