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[DRAFT] Deal or No Deal

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Fontenais
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Founded: May 18, 2019
New York Times Democracy

[DRAFT] Deal or No Deal

Postby Fontenais » Sun Sep 08, 2019 12:58 am

Wow. I use the word 'deal' a lot - especially in the description. Anyway I have put up a second draft - I just hope character 3 isn't too Mary Poppin-y (pulling things out of thin air).

Validity: Must not have Autarky.

Description:

Foreign leaders from @@REGION@@ will be converging in @@NAME@@ next week to propose a multilateral trade deal. Political commentators are hopeful that the trade deal will be advantageous to @@NAME@@, however some other leaders already appear to to be hesitant to compromise on their nation's interests. Worried that the trade deal won’t go ahead, your Cabinet has barged into your office to demand action to secure the trade deal.

Draft 1
Description:
@@NAME@@ is hosting an economic summit, and leaders from all over @@REGION@@ will be converging in @@NAME@@ next week to discuss trade deals. Last night, the State Dining Room burnt down in a tragic incident involving a baked Alaska flambé, sending plans for a state banquet up in smoke. A meeting has been called to discuss alternative plans for entertaining the foreign leaders.

Validity: Must not have autarky, must not be vegan

Option 1:

Your flamboyant Minister for Culture @@RANDOMNAME@@ leaps out of @@HIS@@ chair and announces, ‘@@LEADER@@, The Book of Violet by the National Theatre Company will debut in @@CAPITAL@@ in two weeks. I’m sure that if you make a generous donation to the arts, the Theatre Company will agree to perform an exclusive preview of the performance. I can assure that you will be the toast of @@REGION@@!

Effect: Foreign leaders often contact @@LEADER@@ to get VIP tickets

Option 2:

While spit shining a pair of boots, your Army Chief @@RANDOMNAME@@ barks, ‘Leader, @@NAME@@ will be the laughing stock of @@REGION@@ if we allow these pretentious pansies to prance around in front of foreign leaders. @@NAME@@ should organise a military show to demonstrate that our defence force is unparalleled! Imagine - pyrotechnics, canons, simulated anti-terrorism operations, and most importantly, tonnes and tonnes of explosives!’

Effect: @@NAME@@ often forces foreign leaders to sign trade deals at gunpoint

Option 3:

Your Minister for Trade @@RANDOMNAME@@, whose beige suit camouflages with the walls, drily remarks, ‘Entertain them? These foreign leaders are here to do business. Frankly, I don’t understand why everyone seems to be so disappointed that a frivolous dinner party has been cancelled. Time is money, @@LEADER@@, and I think that @@NAME@@ should capitalise on this excellent opportunity to present a three-hour lecture on @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@'

Effect: @@LEADER@@’s presentations even lull insomniacs to sleep

Draft 2
Option 1:

Your flamboyant Minister for Culture @@RANDOMNAME@@ sashays towards you with outstretched arms, bowling over several ministers in the process. '@@LEADER@@, The Book of Violet by the National Theatre Company will debut in @@CAPITAL@@ in two weeks. I’m sure that if you make a generous donation to the arts, the Theatre Company can arrange an exclusive preview performance. Undoubtably, you will be the toast of @@REGION@@, and it will simply be très chic to sign the trade deal!’

Effect: Foreign leaders often contact @@LEADER@@ to get VIP tickets

Option 2:

Amongst the mounting uproar of arguing ministers, your Army Chief @@RADNDOMNAME@@ pulls out a pistol and fires a few shots into the ceiling, sending several ministers ducking for cover and silencing the room. Your Army Chief proudly announces, ‘@@NAME@@ should organise a military show to demonstrate that @@NAME@@ is a bedrock of security in @@REGION@@. Imagine – pyrotechnics, simulated anti-terrorism operations, and most importantly, tonnes and tonnes of explosives! I’m sure that the foreign leaders will realise that it is in their best interests to sign the damn trade deal!’

Effect: @@NAME@@ often forces foreign leaders to sign trade deals at gunpoint

Option 3:

After inexplicably acquiring a hard hat and high vis vest, your dutiful Minister for Trade @@RANDOMNAME@@ starts cordoning off the area underneath the bullet-riddled ceiling. ‘@@LEADER@@’ calls out the Trade Minister through a megaphone. ‘We can’t act without probity no matter how much we want the deal to succeed. The foreign leaders should sign the trade deal based only on the merits of our arguments. I propose that @@NAME@@ present a three-hour lecture on @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@’.

Effect: @@LEADER@@’s presentations even lull insomniacs to sleep
Last edited by Fontenais on Mon Sep 16, 2019 5:33 am, edited 11 times in total.

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SherpDaWerp
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Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby SherpDaWerp » Sun Sep 08, 2019 3:05 am

Minor suggestions:
Fontenais wrote:@@LEADER@@, The Book of Violet by the National Theatre Company will debut in @@CAPITAL@@ in two weeks.

Not sure if it's tracked (it's not a publicly visible policy), but the National Theatre Company won't be playing if I've shot poets and writers as a result of 56.3.
Fontenais wrote:‘Leader, Nation will be the laughing stock of the @@REGION@@

Should this have been @@NATION@@? And "the @@REGION@@" should be just "@@REGION@@", otherwise you'll end up with "the The North Pacific" or similar.
Fontenais wrote:present a three-hour lecture on Cheese Exports.

The three-hour lecture should be on @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@, because I might have no cheese export industry.
Last edited by SherpDaWerp on Sun Sep 08, 2019 4:12 am, edited 1 time in total.
I have the No Sex policy. For clarification: recreational sex is allowed, just not reproductive sex.

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:That is to say, the point has not only been missed, but you've used your crossbow to shoot yourself in the ass.

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Fontenais
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Founded: May 18, 2019
New York Times Democracy

Postby Fontenais » Mon Sep 09, 2019 5:02 am

SherpDaWerp wrote:Minor suggestions:
Fontenais wrote:@@LEADER@@, The Book of Violet by the National Theatre Company will debut in @@CAPITAL@@ in two weeks.

Not sure if it's tracked (it's not a publicly visible policy), but the National Theatre Company won't be playing if I've shot poets and writers as a result of 56.3.

I really hope it isn't tracked, because I absolutely loved the Book of Mormon. I'll leave it as is for now, but if someone says it is tracked, I'll change it to Swan Lake or something because I don't think a composer would techically fall in the poets and writers category.

SherpDaWerp wrote:
Fontenais wrote:‘Leader, Nation will be the laughing stock of the @@REGION@@

Should this have been @@NATION@@? And "the @@REGION@@" should be just "@@REGION@@", otherwise you'll end up with "the The North Pacific" or similar.
Fontenais wrote:present a three-hour lecture on Cheese Exports.

The three-hour lecture should be on @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@, because I might have no cheese export industry.

Thank you I'll just edit the issue now to fix these problems up

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Australian rePublic
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Postby Australian rePublic » Mon Sep 09, 2019 3:40 pm

Must not be vegan
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Fontenais
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Founded: May 18, 2019
New York Times Democracy

Postby Fontenais » Wed Sep 11, 2019 3:54 am

Australian rePublic wrote:Must not be vegan

Ah I didn't even think about that - I'll edit the issue now to fix it

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Candlewhisper Archive
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Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Capitalizt

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Wed Sep 11, 2019 4:14 am

Description:
@@NAME@@ is hosting an economic summit, and leaders from all over @@REGION@@ will be converging in @@NAME@@ next week to discuss trade deals. Last night, the State Dining Room burnt down in a tragic incident involving a baked Alaska flambé, sending plans for a state banquet up in smoke. A meeting has been called to discuss alternative plans for entertaining the foreign leaders.


There's some good humour here. The premise reminds me of some other issues though, with the question of how to host the summit sounding very similar to 581 while the mention of food suggesting it might echo 358. Honestly, it's pretty unexpected following a title of Flambé Fiasco and the emphasis on the dining room for this issue NOT to be about food.

Your options go on to make this more distinct, but I think the core premise needs to make clear what the issue's unique premise is. "How do you want to host the summit?" is too much of an overlap with 581, so I think you need to focus it on an different specific question.

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Fontenais
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Founded: May 18, 2019
New York Times Democracy

Postby Fontenais » Thu Sep 12, 2019 10:47 pm

Candlewhisper Archive wrote: Honestly, it's pretty unexpected following a title of Flambé Fiasco and the emphasis on the dining room for this issue NOT to be about food.

I know, but I couldn't think of anything more appropriate. I'll have another think about it.

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Fontenais
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Founded: May 18, 2019
New York Times Democracy

Postby Fontenais » Thu Sep 12, 2019 10:55 pm

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Your options go on to make this more distinct, but I think the core premise needs to make clear what the issue's unique premise is. "How do you want to host the summit?" is too much of an overlap with 581, so I think you need to focus it on an different specific question.

I didn't even know about issue #581! I was searching for 'state banquet', 'summit', 'diplomacy' etc and it didn't come up! But I can see how this issue is similar to #581.

Anyway, I have been mulling it over for a bit, and this is the best (and only) idea I could come up with for a different specific question: Leader wants to sign a multilateral trade deal. Leader wants to 'wine and dine' the other parties to the trade deal, without actually 'wining and dining' them (due to flambe incident).

What do you/everyone else think? I'll see if I can put up another draft to reflect this when I get the chance.
Last edited by Fontenais on Thu Sep 12, 2019 10:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Candlewhisper Archive
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Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Capitalizt

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Fri Sep 13, 2019 1:30 am

Fontenais wrote:
Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Your options go on to make this more distinct, but I think the core premise needs to make clear what the issue's unique premise is. "How do you want to host the summit?" is too much of an overlap with 581, so I think you need to focus it on an different specific question.

I didn't even know about issue #581! I was searching for 'state banquet', 'summit', 'diplomacy' etc and it didn't come up! But I can see how this issue is similar to #581.

Anyway, I have been mulling it over for a bit, and this is the best (and only) idea I could come up with for a different specific question: Leader wants to sign a multilateral trade deal. Leader wants to 'wine and dine' the other parties to the trade deal, without actually 'wining and dining' them (due to flambe incident).

What do you/everyone else think? I'll see if I can put up another draft to reflect this when I get the chance.


Not entirely sure what you mean, but my first thought is re: player autonomy. You can't dictate to the player what their character's intentions are.

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Fontenais
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Posts: 28
Founded: May 18, 2019
New York Times Democracy

Postby Fontenais » Fri Sep 13, 2019 2:12 am

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Not entirely sure what you mean, but my first thought is re: player autonomy. You can't dictate to the player what their character's intentions are.

Sorry I should have said Nation, not the leader

As for what I meant: Taking your advice of not having the issue as 'how to host the summit', I was thinking that instead, the premise should be that Nation would like the other Nations to sign a trade deal, and that Nation is trying to think of ways to 'sweeten the deal'. So the options would be (1) Entertain them (2) Threaten them (3) Rely on the merits of your arguments

I will have to put up a draft 2, but do you think this new premise looks to be sufficiently different from #581?

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Candlewhisper Archive
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Capitalizt

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Fri Sep 13, 2019 8:29 am

When you say "the nation wants" something, don't you mean the government? If so, that's still a player autonomy violation. You could claim that there's popular calls for something, but that too seems unnecessarily didactic.

A better approach is to present the opportunity for trade deals, then let the player decide.

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Fontenais
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Founded: May 18, 2019
New York Times Democracy

Postby Fontenais » Fri Sep 13, 2019 3:43 pm

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:When you say "the nation wants" something, don't you mean the government? If so, that's still a player autonomy violation. You could claim that there's popular calls for something, but that too seems unnecessarily didactic.

A better approach is to present the opportunity for trade deals, then let the player decide.

Ok, I see. How about: There is a trade deal being negotiated, which, if signed, would be very advantageous to the Nation. Your ministers are trying to be helpful, and come up with ways to encourage the trade deal to go ahead.

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Candlewhisper Archive
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Capitalizt

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Sun Sep 15, 2019 2:04 pm

Better to say that a trade deal is being proposed.

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Fontenais
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Founded: May 18, 2019
New York Times Democracy

Postby Fontenais » Mon Sep 16, 2019 5:30 am

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Better to say that a trade deal is being proposed.

Ok I'll edit the description now hopefully it sounds alright


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