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[DRAFT] I Take You As My Crown, To Have And To Hold

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Candlewhisper Archive
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Founded: Aug 28, 2015
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Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Fri Sep 06, 2019 3:51 am

[DESCRIPTION] With the country being under the spell of the royal wedding between Princess Harriet of Great Imperia - a nearby island nation that once had a grand colonial empire - and @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Ties actor Morgan Murkle, a group of monarchists seek to exploit the nation's temporary but hysterical infatuation with royalty to push for @@NAME@@ becoming a monarchy as well. With enough public attention garnered around the issue - likely fueled by the adorable memorabilia being sold in honour of the royal wedding - you have agreed to a meeting in your office to discuss the matter, despite a very long and tiresome day.


Premise seems very strained. An overseas royal wedding is never going to be enough to make a non-monarchist nation decide to adopt monarchy as a governmental system. Sure, it could be a "crazy third option" in an issue about something else, but as a core premise for an issue, it doesn't stand up.

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Daarwyrth
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Postby Daarwyrth » Fri Sep 06, 2019 3:57 am

And the royalty craze in the United States when Meghan Markle and Prince Harry got married? :P the premise of the issue draft states that the marriage is between an actor from @@NAME@@, so I wouldn't be surprised that it would generate the same amount of hysteria in the country. Plus, it's people trying to take advantage of the craze to push for a monarchy.

Altmer Dominion didn't mention this as a problem or that it wouldn't stand up as the core premise, so I assumed it was fine, especially since they said it could be part of the inexplicable royalty fascination even people in the United States have.
Last edited by Daarwyrth on Fri Sep 06, 2019 3:59 am, edited 1 time in total.
The Queen of Daarwyrth

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Candlewhisper Archive
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Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Fri Sep 06, 2019 4:16 am

Daarwyrth wrote:And the royalty craze in the United States when Meghan Markle and Prince Harry got married?


Yeah, the reference didn't need pointing out. :)

So tell me, after Harry and Meghan's wedding, was there a serious consideration by the US government to reinstate monarchy in the US? I don't recall Senate debating it, nor even Donald Trump tweeting about it.

Altmer Dominion didn't mention this as a problem or that it wouldn't stand up as the core premise, so I assumed it was fine, especially since they said it could be part of the inexplicable royalty fascination even people in the United States have.


Luckily for you, I'm mentioning it's a problem.

I'm not disagreeing with any of AD's advice so far. It's all good. I'd let you know if I was.

Likewise, AD will let you know if he disagrees with my assessment.

Don't feel you're being told to drop the issue. Rather, I'm telling you what doesn't work, in my opinion, and you ought to make some changes to address those shortcomings. It's up to you whether to use that opinion, or to dismiss it. Though, y'know, it's probably worth noting that most issues that are published pass under my scrutiny at some stage,and at 272 edits and counting, I do have some idea of what works.

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Daarwyrth
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Postby Daarwyrth » Fri Sep 06, 2019 4:25 am

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:
Daarwyrth wrote:And the royalty craze in the United States when Meghan Markle and Prince Harry got married?


Yeah, the reference didn't need pointing out. :)

So tell me, after Harry and Meghan's wedding, was there a serious consideration by the US government to reinstate monarchy in the US? I don't recall Senate debating it, nor even Donald Trump tweeting about it.

Altmer Dominion didn't mention this as a problem or that it wouldn't stand up as the core premise, so I assumed it was fine, especially since they said it could be part of the inexplicable royalty fascination even people in the United States have.


Luckily for you, I'm mentioning it's a problem.

I'm not disagreeing with any of AD's advice so far. It's all good. I'd let you know if I was.

Likewise, AD will let you know if he disagrees with my assessment.

Don't feel you're being told to drop the issue. Rather, I'm telling you what doesn't work, in my opinion, and you ought to make some changes to address those shortcomings. It's up to you whether to use that opinion, or to dismiss it. Though, y'know, it's probably worth noting that most issues that are published pass under my scrutiny at some stage,and at 272 edits and counting, I do have some idea of what works.


No, no, I'm not questioning your authority or competence at all, I'm just trying to defend things from my perspective and trying to challenge another's perspective to test whether my own arguments hold up or not. And it's just that, I come at this with a lot of enthusiasm, so often I'll get a heavy hit to that enthusiasm and joy when I'm told something doesn't work, but in a few minutes/hours that effect passes, apologies if I seemed too defensive or if I offended you, that was absolutely not my intent.

But what would be a good premise then? Because I feel that whatever I'll come up with next will either be already covered in one of the other issues or won't make sense again :(
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Candlewhisper Archive
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Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Fri Sep 06, 2019 7:49 am

It's not easy, especially as the issue base gets increasingly crowded.

Honestly, I tend not to do royalty issues anyway, so you're better off going with AD's advice on this one.

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Daarwyrth
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Postby Daarwyrth » Fri Sep 06, 2019 8:29 am

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:It's not easy, especially as the issue base gets increasingly crowded.


Which is why I wanted to go the route I did, because from all that is already in the issue base, this seemed most unique :)

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Honestly, I tend not to do royalty issues anyway, so you're better off going with AD's advice on this one.


I still value your feedback and commentary a lot, though! I will think about what I could do to change the premise and maybe AD has a suggestion as well as to how it could be improved or better said, to make it more plausible!
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Altmer Dominion
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Postby Altmer Dominion » Fri Sep 06, 2019 11:52 am

CWA makes a good point; while the core satirical message has validity, you might want to have the new royal couple interact directly with @@NAME@@ (however that might be) and remove a degree of separation on the part of the populace. On top of this, other methods could include an additional validity of high population apathy and a more explicit mention of the ceremonial nature of the couple's role. This may be a controversial suggestion based on the established lore of this NPC nation, but I'd have to muse whether the description might be more 'grounded' if the royal couple was stated to be from Brancaland -- it is based on the Commonwealth nation of Canada, after all. Just thinking out loud right now, since I've got no large objections to what CWA raised.
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Daarwyrth
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Postby Daarwyrth » Fri Sep 06, 2019 2:42 pm

Altmer Dominion wrote:CWA makes a good point; while the core satirical message has validity, you might want to have the new royal couple interact directly with @@NAME@@ (however that might be) and remove a degree of separation on the part of the populace. On top of this, other methods could include an additional validity of high population apathy and a more explicit mention of the ceremonial nature of the couple's role. This may be a controversial suggestion based on the established lore of this NPC nation, but I'd have to muse whether the description might be more 'grounded' if the royal couple was stated to be from Brancaland -- it is based on the Commonwealth nation of Canada, after all. Just thinking out loud right now, since I've got no large objections to what CWA raised.


I can change the country to an already existing NPC nation with a monarchy, that's no problem. I just thought that adding a Great Britain inspired NPC nation into the fold would be cool :)

Would the core premise be improved if the royal couple made a tour through @@NAME@@ for example, and in its wake the monarchists make their push for @@NAME@@ becoming a monarchy? Would that solve the current distance between the issue of royalty and the populace?
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Trotterdam
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Postby Trotterdam » Fri Sep 06, 2019 7:37 pm

So, umm, doesn't #1157 already cover the matter of people being interested in royal marriages?

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Daarwyrth
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Postby Daarwyrth » Fri Sep 06, 2019 9:00 pm

Trotterdam wrote:So, umm, doesn't #1157 already cover the matter of people being interested in royal marriages?


But that's an entirely different perspective and angle than the one pursued here. There the marriage is simply considered a problem while here it's the catalyst that sets monarchists in motion to push for @@NAME@@ becoming a monarchy. The core premise is completely different, as this draft deals with the royalty craze around big happenings involving the royals, even in anti-monarchist countries like the USA. The issue you mentioned has an entirely different angle on the premise and deals with a different subject.

Besides, this issue has been up for a while, with the current draft being the 4th one, no one seemed to consider this a duplicate all this while and only now you bring this up?
Last edited by Daarwyrth on Fri Sep 06, 2019 10:03 pm, edited 6 times in total.
The Queen of Daarwyrth

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Candlewhisper Archive
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Founded: Aug 28, 2015
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Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Sat Sep 07, 2019 4:02 pm

You can't police when people will comment on your draft, no matter how late into the process it is.

Trotterdam makes a good point, though I'd agree with you that it's a distinct premise. That issue is worth bearing in mind and reviewing to minimise thematic overlaps though.

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