[SUBMITTED] Blitzed
Posted: Mon Aug 12, 2019 11:14 pmby Baggieland
My latest offering.
[TITLE] Blitzed
[DESCRIPTION] Recent historical research has revealed that the Smalltopian army's 'Lightning War' was ultimately successful because their troops had been given large doses of methamphetamine. Your top generals have encircled you in your office to discuss the implications for the @@DEMONYM@@ military.
[VALIDITY] somewhat militaristic
[OPTION] "The Smalltopians crushed their enemies with their Lightning War," states General @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, well-known for @@HIS@@ singular battlefield tactic of 'more cannon fodder'. "They marched non-stop for four days and nights through thick forest, while carrying full packs, then fought and easily defeated their foes at the end. If @@NAME@@ wants to win any future wars quickly and efficiently, we need to start issuing our troops with methamphetamines."
[EFFECT] soldiers can be forgiven for believing they're in the Air Force
[OPTION] "Methamphetamine does seem to be a useful addition to a war effort," ponders General @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, who prefers to lead by example. "However, there are health issues to consider. Methamphetamine should only be given to elite troops on dangerous missions and when that mission is over, there needs to be a comprehensive rehabilitation period; to make sure no one is addicted or suffering from any side effects."
[EFFECT] battlefield gains are quickly lost when enemies don't respect a time-out
[OPTION] "Why only soldiers?" questions your secretary, as @@HE@@ makes you a drink with one hand and takes minutes of the meeting with the other. "Look at all this work I have piled up on my desk. Not to mention all the other tasks I'm expected to carry out: there's never enough time in the day. Give methamphetamines to every worker in @@NAME@@ and see how efficient we become!"
[EFFECT] skyscrapers get built in just days
[DESCRIPTION] Recent historical research has revealed that the Smalltopian army's 'Lightning War' was ultimately successful because their troops had been given large doses of methamphetamine. Your top generals have encircled you in your office to discuss the implications for the @@DEMONYM@@ military.
[VALIDITY] somewhat militaristic
[OPTION] "The Smalltopians crushed their enemies with their Lightning War," states General @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, well-known for @@HIS@@ singular battlefield tactic of 'more cannon fodder'. "They marched non-stop for four days and nights through thick forest, while carrying full packs, then fought and easily defeated their foes at the end. If @@NAME@@ wants to win any future wars quickly and efficiently, we need to start issuing our troops with methamphetamines."
[EFFECT] soldiers can be forgiven for believing they're in the Air Force
[OPTION] "Methamphetamine does seem to be a useful addition to a war effort," ponders General @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, who prefers to lead by example. "However, there are health issues to consider. Methamphetamine should only be given to elite troops on dangerous missions and when that mission is over, there needs to be a comprehensive rehabilitation period; to make sure no one is addicted or suffering from any side effects."
[EFFECT] battlefield gains are quickly lost when enemies don't respect a time-out
[OPTION] "Why only soldiers?" questions your secretary, as @@HE@@ makes you a drink with one hand and takes minutes of the meeting with the other. "Look at all this work I have piled up on my desk. Not to mention all the other tasks I'm expected to carry out: there's never enough time in the day. Give methamphetamines to every worker in @@NAME@@ and see how efficient we become!"
[EFFECT] skyscrapers get built in just days
[TITLE] Blitzed
[DESCRIPTION] Recent historical research has revealed that the Smalltopian army's 'Lightning War' was ultimately successful because their troops had been given large doses of methamphetamine. Your top generals have encircled you in your office to discuss the implications for the @@DEMONYM@@ military.
[VALIDITY] somewhat militaristic
[OPTION] "The Smalltopians crushed their enemies with their Lightning War," states General @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, well-known for @@HIS@@ singular battlefield tactic of 'more cannon fodder'. "They marched non-stop for four days and nights through thick forest, while carrying full packs, then fought and easily defeated their foes at the end. If @@NAME@@ wants to win any future wars quickly and efficiently, we need to start issuing our troops with methamphetamines."
[EFFECT] @@DEMONYM@@ soldiers often believe they're in the Air Force
[OPTION] "Methamphetamine does seem to be a useful addition to a war effort," ponders General @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, who prefers to lead by example. "However, there are health issues to consider. Methamphetamine should only be given to elite troops on dangerous missions and when that mission is over, there needs to be a comprehensive rehabilitation period; to make sure no one is addicted or suffering from any side effects."
[EFFECT] battlefield gains are quickly lost when enemies don't respect a time-out
[OPTION] "Methamphetamine is a lethal drug!" declares General Andrew Cheavers-Ciphil of the Army Medical Corps, as he hands out pamphlets on the dangers of narcotics. "If we want our troops to win battles, then they must be fully coherent and at the peak of their physical fitness -- not pumped full of drugs! In fact, all forms of substance abuse must be banned in the military: narcotics, alcohol, tobacco and even caffeine."
[EFFECT] a soldier's body is a temple – and a bullseye
[VALIDITY] hasn't banned alcohol nor tobacco
[OPTION] "Methamphetamine is a lethal drug!" declares General Andrew Cheavers-Ciphil of the Army Medical Corps, as he hands out pamphlets on the dangers of narcotics. "If we want our troops to win battles, then they must be fully coherent and at the peak of their physical fitness -- not pumped full of drugs! In fact, all forms of substance abuse must be banned in the military: narcotics, tobacco and even caffeine."
[EFFECT] a soldier's body is a temple – and a bullseye
[VALIDITY] hasn't banned tobacco, has banned alcohol
[OPTION] "Methamphetamine is a lethal drug!" declares General Andrew Cheavers-Ciphil of the Army Medical Corps, as he hands out pamphlets on the dangers of narcotics. "If we want our troops to win battles, then they must be fully coherent and at the peak of their physical fitness -- not pumped full of drugs! In fact, all forms of substance abuse must be banned in the military: narcotics, alcohol and even caffeine."
[EFFECT] a soldier's body is a temple – and a bullseye
[VALIDITY] hasn't banned alcohol, has banned tobacco
[OPTION] "Why only soldiers?" questions your secretary, making you a drink with one hand and taking minutes of the meeting with the other. "Look at all this work I have piled up on my desk. Not to mention all the other tasks I'm expected to carry out: there's never enough time in the day. Give methamphetamines to every worker in @@NAME@@ and see how efficient we become!"
[EFFECT] skyscrapers get built in just days
[DESCRIPTION] Recent historical research has revealed that the Smalltopian army's 'Lightning War' was ultimately successful because their troops had been given large doses of methamphetamine. Your top generals have encircled you in your office to discuss the implications for the @@DEMONYM@@ military.
[VALIDITY] somewhat militaristic
[OPTION] "The Smalltopians crushed their enemies with their Lightning War," states General @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, well-known for @@HIS@@ singular battlefield tactic of 'more cannon fodder'. "They marched non-stop for four days and nights through thick forest, while carrying full packs, then fought and easily defeated their foes at the end. If @@NAME@@ wants to win any future wars quickly and efficiently, we need to start issuing our troops with methamphetamines."
[EFFECT] @@DEMONYM@@ soldiers often believe they're in the Air Force
[OPTION] "Methamphetamine does seem to be a useful addition to a war effort," ponders General @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, who prefers to lead by example. "However, there are health issues to consider. Methamphetamine should only be given to elite troops on dangerous missions and when that mission is over, there needs to be a comprehensive rehabilitation period; to make sure no one is addicted or suffering from any side effects."
[EFFECT] battlefield gains are quickly lost when enemies don't respect a time-out
[OPTION] "Methamphetamine is a lethal drug!" declares General Andrew Cheavers-Ciphil of the Army Medical Corps, as he hands out pamphlets on the dangers of narcotics. "If we want our troops to win battles, then they must be fully coherent and at the peak of their physical fitness -- not pumped full of drugs! In fact, all forms of substance abuse must be banned in the military: narcotics, alcohol, tobacco and even caffeine."
[EFFECT] a soldier's body is a temple – and a bullseye
[VALIDITY] hasn't banned alcohol nor tobacco
[OPTION] "Methamphetamine is a lethal drug!" declares General Andrew Cheavers-Ciphil of the Army Medical Corps, as he hands out pamphlets on the dangers of narcotics. "If we want our troops to win battles, then they must be fully coherent and at the peak of their physical fitness -- not pumped full of drugs! In fact, all forms of substance abuse must be banned in the military: narcotics, tobacco and even caffeine."
[EFFECT] a soldier's body is a temple – and a bullseye
[VALIDITY] hasn't banned tobacco, has banned alcohol
[OPTION] "Methamphetamine is a lethal drug!" declares General Andrew Cheavers-Ciphil of the Army Medical Corps, as he hands out pamphlets on the dangers of narcotics. "If we want our troops to win battles, then they must be fully coherent and at the peak of their physical fitness -- not pumped full of drugs! In fact, all forms of substance abuse must be banned in the military: narcotics, alcohol and even caffeine."
[EFFECT] a soldier's body is a temple – and a bullseye
[VALIDITY] hasn't banned alcohol, has banned tobacco
[OPTION] "Why only soldiers?" questions your secretary, making you a drink with one hand and taking minutes of the meeting with the other. "Look at all this work I have piled up on my desk. Not to mention all the other tasks I'm expected to carry out: there's never enough time in the day. Give methamphetamines to every worker in @@NAME@@ and see how efficient we become!"
[EFFECT] skyscrapers get built in just days
[TITLE] Blitzed
[DESCRIPTION] Recent historical research has revealed that the Smalltopian army's 'Lightning War' was ultimately successful because their troops had been given large doses of methamphetamine. Your top generals have encircled you in your office and this conversation isn't going to be an easy trip.
[VALIDITY] somewhat militaristic
[OPTION] "The Smalltopians crushed their enemies with their Lightning War," states General @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, well-known for @@HIS@@ singular battlefield tactic of 'more cannon fodder'. "They marched non-stop for four days and nights through thick forest, while carrying full packs, then fought and easily defeated their foes at the end. If @@NAME@@ wants to win any future wars quickly and efficiently, we need to start issuing our troops with methamphetamines."
[EFFECT] @@DEMONYM@@ soldiers often believe they're in the Air Force
[OPTION] "Methamphetamine does seem to be a useful addition to a war effort," ponders General @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, who prefers to lead by example. "However, there are health issues to consider. Methamphetamine should only be given to elite troops on dangerous missions and when that mission is over, there needs to be a comprehensive rehabilitation period; to make sure no one is addicted or suffering from any side effects."
[EFFECT] battlefield gains are quickly lost when enemies don't respect a time-out
[OPTION] "Methamphetamine is a lethal drug!" declares General Andrew Cheavers-Ciphil of the Army Medical Corps, as he hands out pamphlets on the dangers of narcotics. "If we want our troops to win battles, then they must be fully coherent and at the peak of their physical fitness -- not pumped full of drugs! In fact, all forms of substance abuse must be banned in the military: narcotics, alcohol, tobacco and even caffeine."
[EFFECT] a soldier's body is a temple – and a bullseye
[VALIDITY] hasn't banned alcohol nor tobacco
[OPTION] "Methamphetamine is a lethal drug!" declares General Andrew Cheavers-Ciphil of the Army Medical Corps, as he hands out pamphlets on the dangers of narcotics. "If we want our troops to win battles, then they must be fully coherent and at the peak of their physical fitness -- not pumped full of drugs! In fact, all forms of substance abuse must be banned in the military: narcotics, tobacco and even caffeine."
[EFFECT] a soldier's body is a temple – and a bullseye
[VALIDITY] hasn't banned tobacco, has banned alcohol
[OPTION] "Methamphetamine is a lethal drug!" declares General Andrew Cheavers-Ciphil of the Army Medical Corps, as he hands out pamphlets on the dangers of narcotics. "If we want our troops to win battles, then they must be fully coherent and at the peak of their physical fitness -- not pumped full of drugs! In fact, all forms of substance abuse must be banned in the military: narcotics, alcohol and even caffeine."
[EFFECT] a soldier's body is a temple – and a bullseye
[VALIDITY] hasn't banned alcohol, has banned tobacco
[OPTION] "Why only soldiers?" questions your secretary, making you a drink with one hand and taking minutes of the meeting with the other. "Look at all this work I have piled up on my desk. Not to mention all the other tasks I'm expected to carry out: there's never enough time in the day. Give methamphetamines to every worker in @@NAME@@ and see how efficient we become!"
[EFFECT] skyscrapers get built in just days
[DESCRIPTION] Recent historical research has revealed that the Smalltopian army's 'Lightning War' was ultimately successful because their troops had been given large doses of methamphetamine. Your top generals have encircled you in your office and this conversation isn't going to be an easy trip.
[VALIDITY] somewhat militaristic
[OPTION] "The Smalltopians crushed their enemies with their Lightning War," states General @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, well-known for @@HIS@@ singular battlefield tactic of 'more cannon fodder'. "They marched non-stop for four days and nights through thick forest, while carrying full packs, then fought and easily defeated their foes at the end. If @@NAME@@ wants to win any future wars quickly and efficiently, we need to start issuing our troops with methamphetamines."
[EFFECT] @@DEMONYM@@ soldiers often believe they're in the Air Force
[OPTION] "Methamphetamine does seem to be a useful addition to a war effort," ponders General @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, who prefers to lead by example. "However, there are health issues to consider. Methamphetamine should only be given to elite troops on dangerous missions and when that mission is over, there needs to be a comprehensive rehabilitation period; to make sure no one is addicted or suffering from any side effects."
[EFFECT] battlefield gains are quickly lost when enemies don't respect a time-out
[OPTION] "Methamphetamine is a lethal drug!" declares General Andrew Cheavers-Ciphil of the Army Medical Corps, as he hands out pamphlets on the dangers of narcotics. "If we want our troops to win battles, then they must be fully coherent and at the peak of their physical fitness -- not pumped full of drugs! In fact, all forms of substance abuse must be banned in the military: narcotics, alcohol, tobacco and even caffeine."
[EFFECT] a soldier's body is a temple – and a bullseye
[VALIDITY] hasn't banned alcohol nor tobacco
[OPTION] "Methamphetamine is a lethal drug!" declares General Andrew Cheavers-Ciphil of the Army Medical Corps, as he hands out pamphlets on the dangers of narcotics. "If we want our troops to win battles, then they must be fully coherent and at the peak of their physical fitness -- not pumped full of drugs! In fact, all forms of substance abuse must be banned in the military: narcotics, tobacco and even caffeine."
[EFFECT] a soldier's body is a temple – and a bullseye
[VALIDITY] hasn't banned tobacco, has banned alcohol
[OPTION] "Methamphetamine is a lethal drug!" declares General Andrew Cheavers-Ciphil of the Army Medical Corps, as he hands out pamphlets on the dangers of narcotics. "If we want our troops to win battles, then they must be fully coherent and at the peak of their physical fitness -- not pumped full of drugs! In fact, all forms of substance abuse must be banned in the military: narcotics, alcohol and even caffeine."
[EFFECT] a soldier's body is a temple – and a bullseye
[VALIDITY] hasn't banned alcohol, has banned tobacco
[OPTION] "Why only soldiers?" questions your secretary, making you a drink with one hand and taking minutes of the meeting with the other. "Look at all this work I have piled up on my desk. Not to mention all the other tasks I'm expected to carry out: there's never enough time in the day. Give methamphetamines to every worker in @@NAME@@ and see how efficient we become!"
[EFFECT] skyscrapers get built in just days