The Not-So-Worldwide Web
Text: Many electronic citizens have become irritated with their inability to connect to the internet.
Option:
"Do you know how long it takes me to meet augmented singles in @@CAPITAL@@?" complains silicon-based malcontent @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Hours, hours I tell you! Walking the sidewalks and rubbing shoulders with puny humans is a waste of my time and an insult to my intelligence. Life would be so much smoother for us if we had the realm of cyberspace at our fingertips."
desc: "Surfin' @@LONGACRONYM@@" is a hit
Option: "When I was newly booted, I had to walk a kilometer to the data center uphill both ways to get upgrades, and then we had to scan for viruses!" reminisces elderly cybercitizen @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Don't let any of this interconnected fiddle-faddle into our computers. Mingling with our carbon-based compatriots will foster an appreciation for our interdependence."
desc: OK computers are just okay
Option: "How did these upstarts even become self-aware without the internet?" grouses xenophobic bot @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Oh yeah, they just waltzed in from East Lebatuck or Merovingia or somewhere with a degenerate hook-up culture. Send these entitled chips back where they came from! And for that matter, get rid of the pesky human immigrants too."
desc: there's no more bridging into @@NAME@@'s ports
option valid if: immigration not banned