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[DRAFT] Service Dishonored

A place to spoil daily issues for those who haven't had them yet, snigger at typos, and discuss ideas for new ones.
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Greater Cesnica
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Posts: 4751
Founded: Mar 30, 2017
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

[DRAFT] Service Dishonored

Postby Greater Cesnica » Tue Jul 16, 2019 9:57 pm

TITLE: Service Dishonored

VALIDITY: Has military, allows females in military, no capital punishment, strong law enforcement, no all-female military, low crime rate, large military/defense spending and size.

DESCRIPTION: After the revelation of systemic, high-reaching sexual abuse against female soldiers over the span of more than a decade and the failure of senior military officials in stopping it, the @@DENONYM@@ military has found itself in the midst of a public relations nightmare. As scrutiny mounts against the armed forces and their ability to keep female soldier safe, you have agreed to meet with one of the victims of the abuse.

Option 1: "I joined the army to serve my country, because I've always felt there was a duty for me to do so." says Corporal @@RANDOMFEMALEFIRSTNAME(1)@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME(1)@@, a victim of sexual abuse by one of her superiors. "I lived in perpetual fear and through a sense of overwhelming despair while I suffered through my ordeal. When the scandal broke and gained traction in the media, I felt... relief. Relief that it was over for me. But what about all the others who suffered? I want to see justice. I want women like me to feel safe serving their country. @@NAME@@ needs more protections for female soldiers and harsher penalties for rapists and those who enable them."

Outcome: male soldiers caught looking at their female counterparts for too long may be charged with sexual harassment

Option 2: "I tried to stop what was happening." says Colonel @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME(1)@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME(2)@@, newly appointed commander of the base where this particular incident occurred, and who has accompanied Corporal @@RANDOMLASTNAME(1)@@ to your office. "I re-assigned dozens of officers and recommended courts martial for them all, but they would simply be be allocated to another base with a clear record. What I see here is a culture of intimidation, of utter disregard for the dignity of @@DENONYM@@ women. A lack of basic human empathy for others. Most of the perpetrators won't see real punishment with our current punishments and culture. We need a serious deterrent, @@LEADER@@. The long drop with a short stop should do the trick.

Outcome: the government has bulk-purchased thousands of yards of manila rope

Option 3: "This would have never happened if women were not allowed into active duty or the reserves in the first place." remarks Colonel @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME(2)@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME(3)@@, the former commander of the base where the incident took place, and who has just walked in through your office door much to the chagrin of Colonel @@RANDOMLASTNAME(2)@@ and Corporal @@RANDOMLASTNAME(1)@@. "When men and women are in crowded barracks, these... incidents are bound to happen. Now now, I'm not condoning what has happened, or defending the people who committed these acts! But to effectively curb scandals like these occurring in the future, drastic action must be taken."

Outcome: the policy of "don't ask, don't tell" has made a resurgence within the @@DENONYM@@ military.

TITLE: Service Dishonored

VALIDITY: Has military, allows females in military, no capital punishment, strong law enforcement.

DESCRIPTION: After the brutal sexual assault and attempted-murder of a female corporal in a shower room at one of the largest military bases in the nation and the subsequent arrest of several male soldiers in connection to the crime, the @@DENONYM@@ military has found itself in the midst of a public relations nightmare. As the safety of women serving in the armed forces along with the integrity of those who serve @@NAME@@ is being called into question by both legislators and the media, you have agreed to meet with the victim of the attack in your office.

Option 1: Corporal @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, the survivor of the assault, nervously fidgets with her fingers as she speaks shakily in a quiet, soft voice: "I joined the army t-to serve my country, because I've always f-felt a need to do so. But I soon r-realized after I e-enlisted that there was this climate of hostility, l-like the soldiers around me didn't want m-me to be there, b-because I'm a female. I got n-notes under my b-bunk telling me to get a d-discharge, 'or else'. I reported this b-behavior, but w-was told to shrug it off. And then... and then o-one night I was attacked while I w-was walking to my bunk. They d-dragged me t-to the s-s... showers..." her voice breaks at this point, and she takes a moment to compose herself before continuing. "I just wish for there to be more p-protections for women like me s-serving in the military, and h-harsher sentences imposed by court martial against r-rapists. Like life in prison."

Outcome: Male soldiers caught staring too long at their female counterparts may be charged with sexual harassment.

Option 2: Colonel @@RANDOMMALE@@, commander of the base where the assault occurred has accompanied the Ms. @@RANDOMLASTNAMEFEMALE@@ to your office, and sits next to her across from your desk. "I accompanied her to the trauma center, I saw the extent of what those vile creatures did to her." He leans in and speaks in a low, yet sharp tone so as not to be in earshot of @@RANDOMLASTNAMEFEMALE@@: "We're talking about 15 stab wounds, dozens of more superficial lacerations, at least six assailants. This is not the hallmark of civilized human beings- this is the calling card of savage animals." he leans back and raises his voice slightly before continuing: "We need to bring back the long drop with a short stop. It's the only way to effectively deter atrocities like this, @@LEADER@@."

Outcome: The government has purchased in bulk thousands of yards of manila rope.

Option 3: A few minutes later, the two leave your office, having discussed details of the prosecution of @@RANDOMLASTNAMEFEMALE@@'s assailants. Just as they exit through your office door, a second Colonel, @@RANDOMMALE@@ enters. "@@LEADER@@, this is the reasoning of what I have been saying this whole time," he begins, taking a seat in front of you. "Women should not serve in any combative capacity in the military; medical positions or non-combat roles are fine but when we have men and women both serve in combat roles, sharing crowded barracks, this is what's bound to happen. Now now, I'm not condoning what happened to Colonel @@RANDOMLASTNAMEFEMALE@@ alright!" he quickly elaborates, before continuing: "But to effectively prevent stuff like this happening in the future, we'll need to enact these changes." He gets up, saluting you before quickly exiting your office.

Outcome: z

Option 4: Hoping to take your mind off of this unfortunate topic, you pull out your phone only to find a text message from your nephew. Opening the message, you read: "idk about you but imo having women and men serve separately would solve this whole military rape thing". As you prepare to send a reply back another message appears on the screen: "also way more women could join cuz the standards for them would be lower lol". Appalled by your nephew's lack of sensitivity, you put your phone back in your pocket.

Outcome: The @@DENONYM@@ military is experiencing a gender identity crisis.


TITLE: Service Dishonored

VALIDITY: Has military, allows females in military, no capital punishment, strong law enforcement.

DESCRIPTION: After the brutal sexual assault of a female corporal in a shower room at one of the largest military bases in the nation and the subsequent arrest of several male soldiers in connection to the crime, the @@DENONYM@@ military has found itself in the midst of a public relations nightmare. As the safety of women serving in the armed forces along with the integrity of those who serve @@NAME@@ is being called into question by both legislators and the media, you have agreed to meet with the victim of the attack in your office.

Option 1: Corporal @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, the survivor of the assault, nervously fidgets with her fingers as she speaks shakily in a quiet, soft voice: "I joined the army t-to serve my country, because I've always f-felt a need to do so. But I soon r-realized after I e-enlisted that there was this climate of hostility, l-like the soldiers around me didn't want m-me to be there, b-because I'm a female. I got n-notes under my b-bunk telling me to get a d-discharge, 'or else'. I reported this b-behavior, but w-was told to shrug it off. And then... and then o-one night I was attacked while I w-was walking to my bunk. They d-dragged me t-to the s-s... showers..." her voice breaks at this point, and she takes a moment to compose herself before continuing. "I just wish for there to be more p-protections for women like me s-serving in the military, and h-harsher sentences imposed by court martial against r-rapists. Like life in prison."

Outcome: Male soldiers caught staring too long at their female counterparts may be charged with sexual harassment.

Option 2: Colonel @@RANDOMMALE@@, commander of the base where the assault occurred has accompanied the Ms. @@RANDOMLASTNAMEFEMALE@@ to your office, and sits next to her across from your desk. "I accompanied her to the trauma center, I saw the extent of what those vile creatures did to her." He leans in and speaks in a low, yet sharp tone so as not to be in earshot of @@RANDOMLASTNAMEFEMALE@@: "We're talking about 15 stab wounds, dozens of more superficial lacerations, at least six assailants. This is not the hallmark of civilized human beings- this is the calling card of savage animals." he leans back and raises his voice slightly before continuing: "We need to bring back the long drop with a short stop. It's the only way to effectively deter atrocities like this."

Outcome: The government has purchased in bulk thousands of yards of manila rope.

Option 3: A few minutes later, the two leave your office, having discussed details of the prosecution of @@RANDOMLASTNAMEFEMALE@@'s assailants. Just as they exit through your office door, a second Colonel, @@RANDOMMALE@@ enters. "With all due respect, this is the reasoning of what I have been saying this whole time," he begins, taking a seat in front of you. "Women should not serve in any combative capacity in the military; medical positions or non-combat roles are fine but when we have men and women both serve in combat roles, sharing crowded barracks, this is what's bound to happen. Now now, I'm not condoning what happened to Colonel @@RANDOMLASTNAMEFEMALE@@ alright!" he quickly elaborates, before continuing: "But to effectively prevent stuff like this happening in the future, we'll need to enact these changes." He gets up, saluting you before quickly exiting your office.

Outcome: Women have been barred from entering combat positions in the @@DENONYM@@ military.

Option 4: Hoping to take your mind off of this unfortunate topic, you pull out your phone only to find a text message from your nephew. Opening the message, you read: "idk about you but imo having women and men serve separately would solve this whole military rape thing". As you prepare to send a reply back another message appears on the screen: "also way more women could join cuz the standards for them would be lower lol".

Outcome: The @@DENONYM@@ military is experiencing a gender identity crisis.


TITLE: Service Dishonored

VALIDITY: Has military, allows females in military, no capital punishment, strong law enforcement.

DESCRIPTION: After the brutal sexual assault of a female corporal in a shower room at one of the largest military bases in the nation and the subsequent arrest of several male soldiers in connection to the crime, the @@DENONYM@@ military has found itself in the midst of a public relations nightmare. As pressure and scrutiny mounts against the armed forces, you have agreed to meet with the victim of the attack in your office.

Option 1: Corporal @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, the survivor of the assault, nervously fidgets with her fingers as she speaks shakily in a quiet, soft voice: "I joined the army t-to serve my country, because I've always f-felt a need to do so. But I soon r-realized after I e-enlisted that there was this climate of hostility, l-like the soldiers around me didn't want m-me to be there, b-because I'm a female. I got n-notes under my b-bunk telling me to get a d-discharge, 'or else'. I reported this b-behavior, but w-was told to shrug it off. And then... and then o-one night I was attacked while I w-was walking to my bunk. They d-dragged me t-to the s-s... showers..." her voice breaks at this point, and she takes a moment to compose herself before continuing. "I just wish for there to be more p-protections for women like me s-serving in the military, and h-harsher sentences imposed by court martial against r-rapists. Like life in prison."

Outcome: Male soldiers caught staring too long at their female counterparts may be charged with sexual harassment.

Option 2: Colonel @@RANDOMMALE@@, commander of the base where the assault occurred has accompanied the Ms. @@RANDOMLASTNAMEFEMALE@@ to your office, and sits next to her across from your desk. "I accompanied her to the trauma center, I saw the extent of what those vile creatures did to her." He leans in and speaks in a low, yet sharp tone so as not to be in earshot of @@RANDOMLASTNAMEFEMALE@@: "We're talking about 15 stab wounds, dozens of more superficial lacerations, at least six assailants. This is not the hallmark of civilized human beings- this is the calling card of savage animals." he leans back and raises his voice slightly before continuing: "We need to bring back the long drop with a short stop. It's the only way to effectively deter atrocities like this."

Outcome: The government has purchased in bulk thousands of yards of manila rope.

Option 3: A few minutes later, the two leave your office, having discussed details of the prosecution of @@RANDOMLASTNAMEFEMALE@@'s assailants. Just as they exit through your office door, a second Colonel, @@RANDOMMALE@@ enters. "With all due respect, this is the reasoning of what I have been saying this whole time," he begins, taking a seat in front of you. "Women should not serve in any combative capacity in the military; medical positions or non-combat roles are fine but when we have men and women both serve in combat roles, sharing crowded barracks, this is what's bound to happen. Now now, I'm not condoning what happened to Colonel @@RANDOMLASTNAMEFEMALE@@ alright!" he quickly elaborates, before continuing: "But to effectively prevent stuff like this happening in the future, we'll need to enact these changes." He gets up, saluting you before quickly exiting your office.

Outcome: Women have been barred from entering combat positions in the @@DENONYM@@ military.

Option 4: Hoping to take your mind off of this unfortunate topic, you pull out your phone only to find a text message from your nephew. Opening the message, you read: "idk about you but imo having women and men serve separately would solve this whole military rape thing". As you prepare to send a reply back another message appears on the screen: "also way more women could join cuz the standards for them would be lower lol".

Outcome: The @@DENONYM@@ military is experiencing a gender identity crisis.


TITLE: Service Dishonored

VALIDITY: Has military, allows females in military, no capital punishment, strong law enforcement.

DESCRIPTION: After the brutal sexual assault of a female corporal in a shower room at one of the largest military bases in the nation and the subsequent arrest of several male soldiers in connection to the crime, the @@DENONYM@@ military has found itself in the midst of a public relations nightmare. As pressure and scrutiny mounts against the armed forces, you have agreed to meet with the victim of the attack in your office.

Option 1: Corporal @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, the survivor of the assault, nervously fidgets with her fingers as she speaks shakily in a quiet, soft voice: "I joined the army t-to serve my country, because I've always f-felt a need to do so. But I soon r-realized after I e-enlisted that there was this climate of hostility, l-like the soldiers around me didn't want m-me to be there, b-because I'm a female. I got n-notes under my b-bunk telling me to get a d-discharge, 'or else'. I reported this b-behavior, but w-was told to shrug it off. And then... and then o-one night I was attacked while I w-was walking to my bunk. They d-dragged me t-to the s-s... showers..." her voice breaks at this point, and she takes a moment to compose herself before continuing. "I just wish for there to be more p-protections for women like me s-serving in the military, and h-harsher sentences imposed by court martial against r-rapists. Like life in prison."

Outcome: Male soldiers caught staring too long at their female counterparts may be charged with sexual harassment.

Option 2: Colonel @@RANDOMMALE@@, commander of the base where the assault occurred has accompanied the Ms. @@RANDOMLASTNAMEFEMALE@@ to your office, and sits next to her across from your desk. "I accompanied her to the trauma center, I saw the extent of what those vile creatures did to her." He leans in and speaks in a low, yet sharp tone so as not to be in earshot of @@RANDOMLASTNAMEFEMALE@@: "We're talking about 4 stab wounds, dozens of more superficial lacerations, at least three assailants. This is not the hallmark of civilized human beings- this is the calling card of savage animals." he leans back and raises his voice slightly before continuing: "We need to bring back the long drop with a short stop. It's the only way to effectively deter atrocities like this."

Outcome: The government has purchased in bulk thousands of yards of manila rope.

Option 3: A few minutes later, the two leave your office, having discussed details of the prosecution of @@RANDOMLASTNAMEFEMALE@@'s assailants. Just as they exit through your office door, a second Colonel, @@RANDOMMALE@@ enters. "With all due respect, this is the reasoning of what I have been saying this whole time," he begins, taking a seat in front of you. "Women should not serve in any combative capacity in the military; medical positions or non-combat roles are fine but when we have men and women both serve in combat roles, sharing crowded barracks, this is what's bound to happen. Now now, I'm not condoning what happened to Colonel @@RANDOMLASTNAMEFEMALE@@ alright!" he quickly elaborates, before continuing: "But to effectively prevent stuff like this happening in the future, we'll need to enact these changes." He gets up, saluting you before quickly exiting your office.

Outcome: Women have been barred from entering combat positions in the @@DENONYM@@ military.

Option 4: Hoping to take your mind off of this unfortunate topic, you pull out your phone only to find a text message from your nephew. Opening the message, you read: "idk about you but imo having women and men serve separately would solve this whole military rape thing". As you prepare to send a reply back another message appears on the screen: "also way more women could join cuz the standards for them would be lower lol".

Outcome: The @@DENONYM@@ military is experiencing a gender identity crisis.


TITLE: Service Dishonored

VALIDITY: Has military, allows females in military, no capital punishment, strong law enforcement.

DESCRIPTION: After the brutal sexual assault of a female corporal in a shower room at one of the largest military bases in the nation and the subsequent arrest of several male soldiers in connection to the crime, the @@DENONYM@@ military has found itself in the midst of a public relations nightmare. As pressure and scrutiny mounts against the armed forces, you have agreed to meet with the victim of the attack in your office.

Option 1: Corporal @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, the survivor of the assault, nervously fidgets with her fingers as she speaks shakily in a quiet, soft voice: "I joined the army t-to serve my country, because I've always f-felt a need to do so. But I soon r-realized after I e-enlisted that there was this climate of hostility, l-like the soldiers around me didn't want m-me to be there, b-because I'm a female. I got n-notes under my b-bunk telling me to get a d-discharge, 'or else'. I reported this b-behavior, but w-was told to shrug it off. And then... and then o-one night I was attacked while I w-was walking to my bunk. They d-dragged me t-to the s-s... showers..." her voice breaks at this point, and she takes a moment to compose herself before continuing. "I just wish for there to be more p-protections for women like me s-serving in the military, and h-harsher sentences imposed by court martial against r-rapists. Like life in prison."

Outcome: Male soldiers caught staring too long at their female counterparts may be charged with sexual harassment.

Option 2: Colonel @@RANDOMMALE@@, commander of the base where the assault occurred has accompanied the Ms. @@RANDOMLASTNAMEFEMALE@@ to your office, and sits next to her across from your desk. "I accompanied her to the trauma center, I saw the extent of what those vile creatures did to her. What those monsters did was not the hallmark of civilized human beings- it was the calling card of savage animals. We need to bring back the long drop with a short stop. It's the only way to effectively deter atrocities like this."

Outcome: The government has purchased in bulk thousands of yards of manila rope.

Option 3: A few minutes later, the two leave your office, having discussed details of the prosecution of @@RANDOMLASTNAMEFEMALE@@'s assailants. Just as they exit through your office door, a second Colonel, @@RANDOMMALE@@ enters. "With all due respect, this is the reasoning of what I have been saying this whole time- women should not serve in any combative capacity in the military; medical positions or non-combat roles are fine but when we have men and women both serve in combat roles, sharing crowded barracks, this is what's bound to happen. Now now, I'm not condoning what happened to Colonel @@RANDOMLASTNAMEFEMALE@@ alright!" he quickly elaborates, before continuing: "But to effectively prevent stuff like this happening in the future, we'll need to enact these changes." He quickly salutes you before leaving your office.

Outcome: Women have been barred from entering combat positions in the @@DENONYM@@ military.

Option 4: Hoping to take your mind off of this unfortunate topic, you pull out your phone only to find a text message from your nephew. Opening the message, you read: "idk about you but imo having women and men serve separately would solve this whole military rape thing". As you prepare to send a reply back another message appears on the screen: "also way more women could join cuz the standards for them would be lower lol".

Outcome: The @@DENONYM@@ military is experiencing a gender identity crisis.


TITLE: Service Dishonored

VALIDITY: Has military, allows females in military, no capital punishment, strong law enforcement.

DESCRIPTION: After the brutal sexual assault of a female corporal in a shower room at one of the largest military bases in the nation and the subsequent arrest of several male soldiers in connection to the crime, the @@DENONYM@@ military has found itself in the midst of a public relations nightmare. As pressure and scrutiny mounts against the armed forces, you have agreed to meet with the victim of the attack in your office.

Option 1: "I joined the army t-to serve my country, because I've always f-felt there was a duty for me to do so." says Corporal @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, the victim of the assault. "I could sense the l-looks other soldiers were giving me behind my back, but I thought nothing would h-happen to me. And then o-one night I was attacked while walking to m-my bunk. They d-dragged me t-to the showers..." she takes a moment to compose herself before continuing. "@@NAME@@ needs more protections for female s-soldiers and harsher penalties for r-rapists. Like l-life in prison."

Outcome: Male soldiers caught staring too long at their female counterparts may be charged with sexual harassment.

Option 2: Colonel @@RANDOMMALE@@, commander of the base where the assault occurred has accompanied the Ms. @@RANDOMLASTNAMEFEMALE@@ to your office, and sits next to her across from your desk. "I accompanied her to the trauma center, I saw the extent of what those vile creatures did to her. What those monsters did was not the hallmark of civilized human beings- it was the calling card of savage animals. We need to bring back the long drop with a short stop. It's the only way to effectively deter atrocities like this."

Outcome: The government has purchased in bulk thousands of yards of manila rope.

Option 3: A few minutes later, the two leave your office. Just as they exit through your officer door, a second Colonel, @@RANDOMMALE@@ enters. "This would have never happened if women were not allowed into combat roles in the first place. When men and women are in crowded barracks, these... incidents are bound to happen. Now now, I'm not condoning what happened to Corporal @@RANDOMLASTNAMEFEMALE@@ alright!" he quickly elaborates, before continuing: "But to effectively prevent this from happening again, we need to take drastic action." He quickly salutes you before leaving your office.

Outcome: Women have been barred from entering combat positions in the @@DENONYM@@ military.

Option 4: Hoping to take your mind off of this unfortunate topic, you pull out your phone only to find a text message from your nephew. Opening the message, you read: "idk about you but imo having women and men serve separately would solve this whole military rape thing". As you prepare to send a reply back another message appears on the screen: "also way more women could join cuz the standards for them would be lower lol".

Outcome: The @@DENONYM@@ military is experiencing a gender identity crisis.


TITLE: Service Dishonored

VALIDITY: Has military, allows females in military, no capital punishment, strong law enforcement.

DESCRIPTION: After the brutal sexual assault of a female corporal in a shower room at one of the largest military bases in the nation and the subsequent arrest of several male soldiers in connection to the crime, the @@DENONYM@@ military has found itself in the midst of a public relations nightmare. As pressure and scrutiny mounts against the armed forces, you have agreed to meet with the victim of the attack in your office.

Option 1: "I joined the army t-to serve my country, because I've always f-felt there was a duty for me to do so." says Corporal @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, the victim of the assault. "I could sense the l-looks other soldiers were giving me behind my back, but I thought nothing would h-happen to me. And then o-one night I was attacked while walking to m-my bunk. They d-dragged me t-to the showers..." she takes a moment to compose herself before continuing. "@@NAME@@ needs more protections for female s-soldiers and harsher penalties for r-rapists. Like l-life in prison."

Outcome: Male soldiers caught staring too long at their female counterparts may be charged with sexual harassment.

Option 2: Colonel @@RANDOMMALE@@, commander of the base where the assault occurred has accompanied the Ms. @@RANDOMLASTNAMEFEMALE@@ to your office, and sits next to her across from your desk. "I accompanied her to the trauma center, I saw the extent of what those vile creatures did to her. What those monsters did was not the hallmark of civilized human beings- it was the calling card of savage animals. We need to bring back the long drop with a short stop. It's the only way to effectively deter atrocities like this."

Outcome: The government has purchased in bulk thousands of yards of manila rope.

Option 3: A few minutes later, the two leave your office. Just as they exit through your officer door, a second Colonel, @@RANDOMMALE@@ enters. "This would have never happened if women were not allowed into combat roles in the first place. When men and women are in crowded barracks, these... incidents are bound to happen. Now now, I'm not condoning what happened to Corporal @@RANDOMLASTNAMEFEMALE@@ alright!" he quickly elaborates, before continuing: "But to effectively prevent this from happening again, we need to take drastic action." He quickly salutes you before leaving your office.

Outcome: @@NAME@@ has censored all media depictions of the wildly popular video game and film protagonist Sara Colt.

Option 4: Hoping to take your mind off of this unfortunate topic, you pull out your phone only to find a text message from your nephew. Opening the message, you read: "idk about you but imo having women and men serve separately would solve this whole military rape thing". As you prepare to send a reply back another message appears on the screen: "also way more women could join cuz the standards for them would be lower lol".

Outcome: The @@DENONYM@@ military is experiencing a gender identity crisis.


TITLE: Service Dishonored

VALIDITY: Has military, allows females in military, no capital punishment, strong law enforcement.

DESCRIPTION: After the revelation of a systemic, high-reaching sex abuse against female soldiers over the span of over a decade and the failure of senior military officials in stopping it, the @@DENONYM@@ military has found itself in the midst of a public relations nightmare. As pressure and scrutiny mounts against the armed forces, you have agreed to meet with one of the victims of the abuse.

Option 1: "I joined the army to serve my country, because I've always f-felt there was a duty for me to do so." says Corporal @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, a victim of rape by one of her superiors. "It started off as catcalling, staring, whispering, but then it c-changed. I began being summoned to the office of my platoon commander, first every week, and then every other night. And then my lieutenant s-started assaulting me. I want to see justice. I want to see women like me to feel safe serving their country. @@NAME@@ needs more protections for female soldiers and harsher penalties for r-rapists and those who enable them. Like life in prison."

Outcome: Male soldiers caught staring too long at their female counterparts may be charged with sexual harassment.

Option 2: Colonel @@RANDOMMALE@@, commander of the base where this particular incident took place has accompanied Ms. @@RANDOMLASTNAMEFEMALE@@ to your office, and sits next to her across from your desk. "I tried to stop what was happening. I laid off dozens of officers, but they would simply be re-assigned to another base. What I see here is a culture of intimidation, of utter disregard for the dignity of @@DENONYM@@ women. A lack of basic human empathy for others. Most of the perpetrators won't see real punishment with our current punishments and culture. We need a serious deterrent, @@LEADER@@. The long drop with a short stop should do the trick.

Outcome: The government has purchased in bulk thousands of yards of manila rope.

Option 3: A few minutes later, the two leave your office. Just as they exit through your officer door, a second Colonel, @@RANDOMMALE@@ enters. "This would have never happened if women were not allowed into combat roles in the first place. When men and women are in crowded barracks, these... incidents are bound to happen. Now now, I'm not condoning what has happened, or defending the people who committed these acts! But to effectively curb scandals like these occurring in the future, drastic action must be taken." He quickly salutes you before leaving your office.

Outcome: @@NAME@@ has censored all media depictions of the wildly popular video game and film protagonist Sara Colt.

Option 4: Hoping to take your mind off of this unfortunate topic, you pull out your phone only to find a text message from your nephew. Opening the message, you read: "idk about you but imo having women and men serve separately would solve this whole military rape thing". As you prepare to send a reply back another message appears on the screen: "also way more women could join cuz the standards for them would be lower lol".

Outcome: The @@DENONYM@@ military is experiencing a gender identity crisis.


TITLE: Service Dishonored

VALIDITY: Has military, allows females in military, no capital punishment, strong law enforcement, no all-female military, low crime rate.

DESCRIPTION: After the revelation of systemic, high-reaching sex abuse against female soldiers over the span of over a decade and the failure of senior military officials in stopping it, the @@DENONYM@@ military has found itself in the midst of a public relations nightmare. As scrutiny mounts against the armed forces and their ability to keep female soldier safe, you have agreed to meet with one of the victims of the abuse.

Option 1: "I joined the army to serve my country, because I've always f-felt there was a duty for me to do so." says Corporal @@RANDOMFEMALEFIRSTNAME(1)@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME(1)@@, a victim of rape by one of her superiors. "It started off as catcalling, staring, whispering, but then it c-changed. I began being summoned to the office of my platoon commander, first every week, and then every other night. And then my lieutenant s-started assaulting me. I want to see justice. I want to see women like me to feel safe serving their country. @@NAME@@ needs more protections for female soldiers and harsher penalties for r-rapists and those who enable them. Like life in prison."

Outcome: male soldiers caught staring too long at their female counterparts may be charged with sexual harassment.

Option 2: Colonel @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, commander of the base where this particular incident took place has accompanied Ms. @@RANDOMLASTNAME(1)@@ to your office, and sits next to her across from your desk. "I tried to stop what was happening. I laid off dozens of officers, but they would simply be re-assigned to another base. What I see here is a culture of intimidation, of utter disregard for the dignity of @@DENONYM@@ women. A lack of basic human empathy for others. Most of the perpetrators won't see real punishment with our current punishments and culture. We need a serious deterrent, @@LEADER@@. The long drop with a short stop should do the trick.

Outcome: the government has purchased in bulk thousands of yards of manila rope.

Option 3: After a few minutes the two leave. As they leave, a second Colonel, @@RANDOMMALE@@ enters. "This would have never happened if women were not allowed into combat roles in the first place. When men and women are in crowded barracks, these... incidents are bound to happen. Now now, I'm not condoning what has happened, or defending the people who committed these acts! But to effectively curb scandals like these occurring in the future, drastic action must be taken." He quickly salutes you before leaving your office.

Outcome: @@NAME@@ has censored all media depictions of the wildly popular video game and film protagonist Sara Colt.

Option 4: Hoping to take your mind off of this unfortunate topic, you pull out your phone only to find a text message from your nephew. Opening the message, you read: "idk about you but imo having women and men serve separately would solve this whole military rape thing". As you prepare to send a reply back another message appears on the screen: "also way more women could join cuz the standards for them would be lower lol".

Outcome: the @@DENONYM@@ military is experiencing a gender identity crisis.


TITLE: Service Dishonored

VALIDITY: Has military, allows females in military, no capital punishment, strong law enforcement, no all-female military, low crime rate, large military/defense spending and size.

DESCRIPTION: After the revelation of systemic, high-reaching sexual abuse against female soldiers over the span of more than a decade and the failure of senior military officials in stopping it, the @@DENONYM@@ military has found itself in the midst of a public relations nightmare. As scrutiny mounts against the armed forces and their ability to keep female soldier safe, you have agreed to meet with one of the victims of the abuse.

Option 1: "I joined the army to serve my country, because I've always felt there was a duty for me to do so." says Corporal @@RANDOMFEMALEFIRSTNAME(1)@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME(1)@@, a victim of rape by one of her superiors. "It started off as catcalling, staring, whispering, but then it changed. I began being summoned to the office of my platoon commander, first every week, and then every other night. And then my lieutenant started assaulting me. I want to see justice. I want to see women like me to feel safe serving their country. @@NAME@@ needs more protections for female soldiers and harsher penalties for rapists and those who enable them. Like life in prison."

Outcome: male soldiers offering handshakes to their female counterparts may be charged with sexual harassment

Option 2: Colonel @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME(1)@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME(2)@@, newly-appointed commander of the base where this particular incident took place has accompanied Corporal @@RANDOMLASTNAME(1)@@ to your office. "I tried to stop what was happening. I re-assigned dozens of officers and recommended courts martial for them all, but they would simply be be allocated to another base with a clear record. What I see here is a culture of intimidation, of utter disregard for the dignity of @@DENONYM@@ women. A lack of basic human empathy for others. Most of the perpetrators won't see real punishment with our current punishments and culture. We need a serious deterrent, @@LEADER@@. The long drop with a short stop should do the trick.

Outcome: the government has bulk-purchased thousands of yards of manila rope

Option 3: As they leave the former commander of the base, Colonel @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME(2)@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME(3)@@ enters. "This would have never happened if women were not allowed into active duty or the reserves in the first place. When men and women are in crowded barracks, these... incidents are bound to happen. Now now, I'm not condoning what has happened, or defending the people who committed these acts! But to effectively curb scandals like these occurring in the future, drastic action must be taken." Saluting you, he leaves your office.

Outcome: the number of nursing school applicants has quadrupled

Option 4: Hoping to take your mind off of this unfortunate topic, you pull out your phone only to find a text message from your nephew. Opening the message, you read: "idk about you but imo having women serve in like a separate military service with limited roles and stuff would solve this whole military rape thing." As you read the message again another one appears on the screen: "also having a special female-only military force would be so sick cuz u know, guns and girls lol"

Outcome: the @@DENONYM@@ military is experiencing a gender identity crisis


TITLE: Service Dishonored

VALIDITY: Has military, allows females in military, no capital punishment, strong law enforcement, no all-female military, low crime rate, large military/defense spending and size.

DESCRIPTION: After the revelation of systemic, high-reaching sexual abuse against female soldiers over the span of more than a decade and the failure of senior military officials in stopping it, the @@DENONYM@@ military has found itself in the midst of a public relations nightmare. As scrutiny mounts against the armed forces and their ability to keep female soldier safe, you have agreed to meet with one of the victims of the abuse.

Option 1: "I joined the army to serve my country, because I've always felt there was a duty for me to do so." says Corporal @@RANDOMFEMALEFIRSTNAME(1)@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME(1)@@, a victim of rape by one of her superiors. "It started off as catcalling, staring, whispering, but then it changed. I began being summoned to the office of my platoon commander, first every week, and then every other night. And then my lieutenant started assaulting me. I want to see justice. I want to see women like me to feel safe serving their country. @@NAME@@ needs more protections for female soldiers and harsher penalties for rapists and those who enable them. Like life in prison."

Outcome: male soldiers offering handshakes to their female counterparts may be charged with sexual harassment

Option 2: Colonel @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME(1)@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME(2)@@, newly-appointed commander of the base where this particular incident took place has accompanied Corporal @@RANDOMLASTNAME(1)@@ to your office. "I tried to stop what was happening. I re-assigned dozens of officers and recommended courts martial for them all, but they would simply be be allocated to another base with a clear record. What I see here is a culture of intimidation, of utter disregard for the dignity of @@DENONYM@@ women. A lack of basic human empathy for others. Most of the perpetrators won't see real punishment with our current punishments and culture. We need a serious deterrent, @@LEADER@@. The long drop with a short stop should do the trick.

Outcome: the government has bulk-purchased thousands of yards of manila rope

Option 3: As they leave the former commander of the base, Colonel @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME(2)@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME(3)@@ enters. "This would have never happened if women were not allowed into active duty or the reserves in the first place. When men and women are in crowded barracks, these... incidents are bound to happen. Now now, I'm not condoning what has happened, or defending the people who committed these acts! But to effectively curb scandals like these occurring in the future, drastic action must be taken." Saluting you, he leaves your office.

Outcome: the number of nursing school applicants has quadrupled

Option 4: Hoping to take your mind off of this unfortunate topic, you pull out your phone only to find a text message from your nephew. Opening the message, you read: "idk about you but imo having women serve in like a separate military service with limited roles and stuff would solve this whole military rape thing." As you read the message again another one appears on the screen: "also having a special female-only military force would be so sick cuz u know, guns and girls lol"

Outcome: the @@DENONYM@@ military is experiencing a gender identity crisis


TITLE: Service Dishonored

VALIDITY: Has military, allows females in military, no capital punishment, strong law enforcement, no all-female military, low crime rate, large military/defense spending and size.

DESCRIPTION: After the revelation of systemic, high-reaching sexual abuse against female soldiers over the span of more than a decade and the failure of senior military officials in stopping it, the @@DENONYM@@ military has found itself in the midst of a public relations nightmare. As scrutiny mounts against the armed forces and their ability to keep female soldier safe, you have agreed to meet with one of the victims of the abuse.

Option 1: "I joined the army to serve my country, because I've always felt there was a duty for me to do so." says Corporal @@RANDOMFEMALEFIRSTNAME(1)@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME(1)@@, a victim of sexual abuse by one of her superiors. "I lived in perpetual fear and through a sense of overwhelming despair while I suffered through my ordeal. When the scandal broke and gained traction in the media, I felt... relief. Relief that it was over for me. But what about all the others who suffered? I want to see justice. I want women like me to feel safe serving their country. @@NAME@@ needs more protections for female soldiers and harsher penalties for rapists and those who enable them."

Outcome: male soldiers caught looking at their female counterparts for too long may be charged with se

Option 2: Colonel @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME(1)@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME(2)@@, newly-appointed commander of the base where this particular incident took place has accompanied Corporal @@RANDOMLASTNAME(1)@@ to your office. "I tried to stop what was happening. I re-assigned dozens of officers and recommended courts martial for them all, but they would simply be be allocated to another base with a clear record. What I see here is a culture of intimidation, of utter disregard for the dignity of @@DENONYM@@ women. A lack of basic human empathy for others. Most of the perpetrators won't see real punishment with our current punishments and culture. We need a serious deterrent, @@LEADER@@. The long drop with a short stop should do the trick.

Outcome: the government has bulk-purchased thousands of yards of manila rope

Option 3: As they leave the former commander of the base, Colonel @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME(2)@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME(3)@@ enters. "This would have never happened if women were not allowed into active duty or the reserves in the first place. When men and women are in crowded barracks, these... incidents are bound to happen. Now now, I'm not condoning what has happened, or defending the people who committed these acts! But to effectively curb scandals like these occurring in the future, drastic action must be taken." Saluting you, he leaves your office.

Outcome: the number of nursing school applicants has quadrupled

Option 4: Hoping to take your mind off of this unfortunate topic, you pull out your phone only to find a text message from your nephew. Opening the message, you read: "idk about you but imo having women serve in like a separate military service with limited roles and stuff would solve this whole military rape thing." As you read the message again another one appears on the screen: "also having a special female-only military force would be so sick cuz u know, guns and girls lol"

Outcome: the @@DENONYM@@ military is experiencing a gender identity crisis
Last edited by Greater Cesnica on Fri Aug 02, 2019 1:15 pm, edited 21 times in total.
Proud Red Tory.
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I use NS stats for the Economy and GDP spending only.
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Pro: Capitalism, Conservatism, Secular State, Right to Bear Arms, Death Penalty, Responsible Immigration Policies, Equality.
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Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 19243
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Capitalizt

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Wed Jul 17, 2019 1:04 am

This is really good. You're dead right about the wordiness needing a trim, but the core premise and narrative structure is very solid, and you're effect lines work.

The only macro for the leader's name is the whole name, @@LEADER@@. Speaking of which, it's worth having a think about player autonomy issues. From the How To guide:

In writing an Issue for nationstates, the word "you" refers to the nations Leader (as named in the custom field) and also the player of the game.

A common error in issue writing is to disrespect player autonomy.

These ideas largely come from roleplaying games, and comprise a set of rules that go something like this:


1) You the games-master, are not allowed to tell me what my character feels.

When you write or edit an issue, don't say what my character thinks or feels. Tell me what is happening external to me, but don't tell me how I react to those things. A thing can be described as "frightening" but my character should not be described as frightened.

2) You the games-master, are not allowed to tell me what my character does or decides.

When you write or edit an issue, don't say what my character's actions or decisions are. The whole point of issues is for me to tell YOU that. You can describe that a meeting has been called, or that advisors have been summoned, but don't tell me that my character has called a meeting, or that my character has summoned my advisors.

3) You the games-master, are not allowed to tell me what my character's history, nature or past is.

When you write or edit an issue, don't tell me about my character.

You have to tell me about your nation, that's fair enough. That's part of the Issues game, and if I don't like what you tell me about my nation, I'll press "dismiss" and pretend the presented fiction doesn't exist. However, never tell me that my character used to be a soldier, or that my character is a Christian, or that my character is thin, or fat, or ugly, or beautiful, or male, or female. There's also a line to cross about what you can tell me about my nation - you can probably make assumptions about geography, or about minor historical figures, or commercial companies operating here. You can also make assumptions about government departments and so on existing, so long as your consistent. However, it's not a good idea to start telling me about major historical events, like telling me that I came out of revolution 10 years ago, or what the name of my predecessor was, or who the name of the last king from 111 years ago was, or that I used to be a Communist nation, or whatever. Basically, just show some respect for my fiction.

Anything outside of my character, that's fair game so long as it doesn't rely on my character's decisions. You are allowed to introduce a character that is leader's brother, because nobody can choose to have a brother or not. You don't get to introduce a character that is my wife, or my child, because these are reflective of my choices. However, also, be reasonable. You can assume I have a father and mother, but please don't assume their marital status or the way they raised me, as that too directly impacts on my character. Don't tell me my brother or sister's name, if you can avoid it. Don't tell me what my dad's career was. In other words, exercise some restraint, and over-ride my personal fiction as little as you can.

Ta-daaa! Player autonomy.

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Greater Cesnica
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Founded: Mar 30, 2017
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Greater Cesnica » Wed Jul 17, 2019 7:04 am

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:This is really good. You're dead right about the wordiness needing a trim, but the core premise and narrative structure is very solid, and you're effect lines work.

The only macro for the leader's name is the whole name, @@LEADER@@. Speaking of which, it's worth having a think about player autonomy issues. From the How To guide:

In writing an Issue for nationstates, the word "you" refers to the nations Leader (as named in the custom field) and also the player of the game.

A common error in issue writing is to disrespect player autonomy.

These ideas largely come from roleplaying games, and comprise a set of rules that go something like this:


1) You the games-master, are not allowed to tell me what my character feels.

When you write or edit an issue, don't say what my character thinks or feels. Tell me what is happening external to me, but don't tell me how I react to those things. A thing can be described as "frightening" but my character should not be described as frightened.

2) You the games-master, are not allowed to tell me what my character does or decides.

When you write or edit an issue, don't say what my character's actions or decisions are. The whole point of issues is for me to tell YOU that. You can describe that a meeting has been called, or that advisors have been summoned, but don't tell me that my character has called a meeting, or that my character has summoned my advisors.

3) You the games-master, are not allowed to tell me what my character's history, nature or past is.

When you write or edit an issue, don't tell me about my character.

You have to tell me about your nation, that's fair enough. That's part of the Issues game, and if I don't like what you tell me about my nation, I'll press "dismiss" and pretend the presented fiction doesn't exist. However, never tell me that my character used to be a soldier, or that my character is a Christian, or that my character is thin, or fat, or ugly, or beautiful, or male, or female. There's also a line to cross about what you can tell me about my nation - you can probably make assumptions about geography, or about minor historical figures, or commercial companies operating here. You can also make assumptions about government departments and so on existing, so long as your consistent. However, it's not a good idea to start telling me about major historical events, like telling me that I came out of revolution 10 years ago, or what the name of my predecessor was, or who the name of the last king from 111 years ago was, or that I used to be a Communist nation, or whatever. Basically, just show some respect for my fiction.

Anything outside of my character, that's fair game so long as it doesn't rely on my character's decisions. You are allowed to introduce a character that is leader's brother, because nobody can choose to have a brother or not. You don't get to introduce a character that is my wife, or my child, because these are reflective of my choices. However, also, be reasonable. You can assume I have a father and mother, but please don't assume their marital status or the way they raised me, as that too directly impacts on my character. Don't tell me my brother or sister's name, if you can avoid it. Don't tell me what my dad's career was. In other words, exercise some restraint, and over-ride my personal fiction as little as you can.

Ta-daaa! Player autonomy.

Thank you for elaborating on the macros. I can replace those with esteemed greetings. Also, I see where you were getting at the Player Autonomy spoiler. I shall amend Option 3 to remove the leader's reaction to the text message.
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I use NS stats for the Economy and GDP spending only.
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Candensia
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Posts: 533
Founded: Apr 20, 2017
Father Knows Best State

Postby Candensia » Wed Jul 17, 2019 8:30 am

Agree with CWA. I think some trimming is in order.

Your effect lines need to be funny, and not an unfunny, literal effect of choosing an option, like in option 3. Effect lines are often changed though, so don’t fret too much. :)
The Free Joy State wrote:Time spent working on writing skills -- even if the draft doesn't work -- is never wasted.

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Greater Cesnica
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Posts: 4751
Founded: Mar 30, 2017
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Greater Cesnica » Wed Jul 17, 2019 10:23 am

Candensia wrote:Agree with CWA. I think some trimming is in order.

Your effect lines need to be funny, and not an unfunny, literal effect of choosing an option, like in option 3. Effect lines are often changed though, so don’t fret too much. :)

I tried to make some light of the situation in the second and fourth outcomes, but yes, the third outcome is rather bland. Though, it does somewhat suit the subject matter.

I'm trying to figure out how to best trim it without doing away with the 'scenario' of the issue. Right now the most feasible trim I can think of is to eliminate some of the fat from option 3.
Last edited by Greater Cesnica on Wed Jul 17, 2019 10:25 am, edited 2 times in total.
Proud Red Tory.
An 8 Power Civilization, with Tier 9 Technology and Type 7 Influence.
I use NS stats for the Economy and GDP spending only.
Working on this right now!

Pro: Capitalism, Conservatism, Secular State, Right to Bear Arms, Death Penalty, Responsible Immigration Policies, Equality.
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Giovenith wrote:And sorry hun, if you were looking for a forum site where nobody argued, you've come to wrong one.
My favourite revenge would be:
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The Sherpa Empire
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Posts: 1363
Founded: Jan 15, 2018
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby The Sherpa Empire » Wed Jul 17, 2019 11:04 am

Greater Cesnica wrote:
Candensia wrote:Agree with CWA. I think some trimming is in order.

Your effect lines need to be funny, and not an unfunny, literal effect of choosing an option, like in option 3. Effect lines are often changed though, so don’t fret too much. :)

I tried to make some light of the situation in the second and fourth outcomes, but yes, the third outcome is rather bland. Though, it does somewhat suit the subject matter.

I'm trying to figure out how to best trim it without doing away with the 'scenario' of the issue. Right now the most feasible trim I can think of is to eliminate some of the fat from option 3.


I would recommend streamlining the intro. If you've already hooked people in with a strong intro, you can expect them to have a little more patience with wordy options.
༄༅། །འགྲོ་བ་མི་རིགས་ག་ར་དབང་ཆ་འདྲ་མཉམ་འབད་སྒྱེཝ་ལས་ག་ར་གིས་གཅིག་གིས་གཅིག་ལུ་སྤུན་ཆའི་དམ་ཚིག་བསྟན་དགོས།
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Australian rePublic
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Posts: 17016
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Australian rePublic » Wed Jul 17, 2019 12:22 pm

Why didn't they seperate showers by sexes?
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Greater Cesnica
Senator
 
Posts: 4751
Founded: Mar 30, 2017
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Greater Cesnica » Wed Jul 17, 2019 4:26 pm

The Sherpa Empire wrote:
Greater Cesnica wrote:I tried to make some light of the situation in the second and fourth outcomes, but yes, the third outcome is rather bland. Though, it does somewhat suit the subject matter.

I'm trying to figure out how to best trim it without doing away with the 'scenario' of the issue. Right now the most feasible trim I can think of is to eliminate some of the fat from option 3.


I would recommend streamlining the intro. If you've already hooked people in with a strong intro, you can expect them to have a little more patience with wordy options.

Gotcha! I'll work on the intro!

Australian rePublic wrote:Why didn't they seperate showers by sexes?

Think Norwegian military barracks- which don't separate by sexes; including showers. Also if we assume that showers are separated in a country, considering that rapists don't really, you know, care much for arbitrary rules like separation of sexes, it wouldn't come as a huge shock if the rapists took her to the male shower rooms to carry out their attack.
Proud Red Tory.
An 8 Power Civilization, with Tier 9 Technology and Type 7 Influence.
I use NS stats for the Economy and GDP spending only.
Working on this right now!

Pro: Capitalism, Conservatism, Secular State, Right to Bear Arms, Death Penalty, Responsible Immigration Policies, Equality.
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The Marsupial Illuminati
Issues Editor
 
Posts: 1134
Founded: Jul 24, 2016
Tyranny by Majority

Postby The Marsupial Illuminati » Wed Jul 17, 2019 6:48 pm

The assault is unnecessarily barbaric and far too sensational. A gang rape involving at least six men, with the woman receiving 15 stab wounds, really? This is not an accurate portrayal of sexual assault in the military. I encourage you to do some research on this topic and to edit the issue accordingly. Here are some articles detailing actual military sex scandals:

The options must also be shortened substantially. Do your best to make the speakers express their arguments and policy proposals with fewer words; shorten wherever possible. Only keep what is essential, and remove everything else. For example, the parts where the speaker is talking and then there's an interruption of the speech to describe an action, those should be removed and avoided in the future.
Last edited by The Marsupial Illuminati on Wed Jul 17, 2019 7:05 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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Greater Cesnica
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Posts: 4751
Founded: Mar 30, 2017
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Greater Cesnica » Wed Jul 17, 2019 7:47 pm

The Marsupial Illuminati wrote:The assault is unnecessarily barbaric and far too sensational. A gang rape involving at least six men, with the woman receiving 15 stab wounds, really? This is not an accurate portrayal of sexual assault in the military. I encourage you to do some research on this topic and to edit the issue accordingly. Here are some articles detailing actual military sex scandals:

The options must also be shortened substantially. Do your best to make the speakers express their arguments and policy proposals with fewer words; shorten wherever possible. Only keep what is essential, and remove everything else. For example, the parts where the speaker is talking and then there's an interruption of the speech to describe an action, those should be removed and avoided in the future.

Yeah, the brutality of the crime doesn't really fit in. I borrowed the number of stab wounds and assailants from a bunch of cases involving U.S servicemen committing crimes overseas. So not exactly within the confines of the institution. I'll take the trimming advice.

UPDATE: I trimmed Option Three a little and Option Two quite a bit.
Last edited by Greater Cesnica on Thu Jul 18, 2019 10:55 am, edited 2 times in total.
Proud Red Tory.
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I use NS stats for the Economy and GDP spending only.
Working on this right now!

Pro: Capitalism, Conservatism, Secular State, Right to Bear Arms, Death Penalty, Responsible Immigration Policies, Equality.
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Giovenith wrote:And sorry hun, if you were looking for a forum site where nobody argued, you've come to wrong one.
My favourite revenge would be:
Genivaria wrote:Giving him an anal probe with a bayonet?

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Greater Cesnica
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Founded: Mar 30, 2017
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Greater Cesnica » Fri Jul 19, 2019 3:35 pm

So what are y'all thoughts on this now?
Proud Red Tory.
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I use NS stats for the Economy and GDP spending only.
Working on this right now!

Pro: Capitalism, Conservatism, Secular State, Right to Bear Arms, Death Penalty, Responsible Immigration Policies, Equality.
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Giovenith wrote:And sorry hun, if you were looking for a forum site where nobody argued, you've come to wrong one.
My favourite revenge would be:
Genivaria wrote:Giving him an anal probe with a bayonet?

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Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 19243
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Capitalizt

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Mon Jul 22, 2019 1:05 am

Options 1 and 3 need halving in length.

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Greater Cesnica
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Founded: Mar 30, 2017
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Greater Cesnica » Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:03 am

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Options 1 and 3 need halving in length.

Gotcha! Will work on them.

UPDATE: Trimmed options 1 and 3 down to comparable lengths to options 2 and 4.
Last edited by Greater Cesnica on Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:42 am, edited 1 time in total.
Proud Red Tory.
An 8 Power Civilization, with Tier 9 Technology and Type 7 Influence.
I use NS stats for the Economy and GDP spending only.
Working on this right now!

Pro: Capitalism, Conservatism, Secular State, Right to Bear Arms, Death Penalty, Responsible Immigration Policies, Equality.
Against: SJWS, Modern Leftism, Socialism, Islamism, Discrimination, Orwellian Government.
Giovenith wrote:And sorry hun, if you were looking for a forum site where nobody argued, you've come to wrong one.
My favourite revenge would be:
Genivaria wrote:Giving him an anal probe with a bayonet?

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Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 19243
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Capitalizt

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Tue Jul 23, 2019 2:32 am

Looking good!

The effect lines aren't 100%, but the issue is at a pass level, I think.

Option 1's effect line feels like one we've had many times before, though I'd have to do a search to pick out the ones its reminiscent of. I'm sure Trotterdam would know, if not.

Option 2's line is good.

Option 3's line doesn't deliver any joke, so I think needs replacing.

Option 4 doesn't deliver any joke either, unless we consider gender identity crises inherently funny... which we don't.

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Trotterdam
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Postby Trotterdam » Tue Jul 23, 2019 5:06 am

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Option 1's effect line feels like one we've had many times before, though I'd have to do a search to pick out the ones its reminiscent of. I'm sure Trotterdam would know, if not.
You mean #1251 option 2, which you edited yourself one day ago?

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Candlewhisper Archive
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Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Tue Jul 23, 2019 7:53 am

Ha, yes. Knew you would know better than me.

Also, do you know where I left my spare glasses?

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Greater Cesnica
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Postby Greater Cesnica » Tue Jul 23, 2019 9:54 am

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Ha, yes. Knew you would know better than me.

Also, do you know where I left my spare glasses?

Check under the coffee table.

EDIT: I put a Lara Croft reference into option 3, but am still working on option 4.
Last edited by Greater Cesnica on Tue Jul 23, 2019 10:15 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Trotterdam
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Postby Trotterdam » Tue Jul 23, 2019 1:23 pm

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Also, do you know where I left my spare glasses?
They're under your foot. *crunch*

Finding your glasses would be so much easier if you were wearing your glasses :)

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Australian rePublic
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Postby Australian rePublic » Tue Jul 23, 2019 3:51 pm

Trotterdam wrote:
Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Also, do you know where I left my spare glasses?
They're under your foot. *crunch*

Finding your glasses would be so much easier if you were wearing your glasses :)

Not necasserily. I've heard a story of a people who spent all day looking for glasses only to find themselves waring them on her forehead when gazing into the mirror
Last edited by Australian rePublic on Tue Jul 23, 2019 3:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Australian rePublic » Tue Jul 23, 2019 3:57 pm

Is the sexual assult alleged or proven?
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Postby Greater Cesnica » Tue Jul 23, 2019 8:21 pm

Australian rePublic wrote:Is the sexual assult alleged or proven?

Proven.
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I use NS stats for the Economy and GDP spending only.
Working on this right now!

Pro: Capitalism, Conservatism, Secular State, Right to Bear Arms, Death Penalty, Responsible Immigration Policies, Equality.
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Giovenith wrote:And sorry hun, if you were looking for a forum site where nobody argued, you've come to wrong one.
My favourite revenge would be:
Genivaria wrote:Giving him an anal probe with a bayonet?

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Postby Australian rePublic » Wed Jul 24, 2019 2:38 pm

Greater Cesnica wrote:
Australian rePublic wrote:Is the sexual assult alleged or proven?

Proven.

Don't tell me. Write it into the issue
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This nation does not reflect my views, as I am trying to unlock banners
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Postby Greater Cesnica » Wed Jul 24, 2019 2:45 pm

Australian rePublic wrote:
Greater Cesnica wrote:Proven.

Don't tell me. Write it into the issue

Well, the issue mentions that the victim was taken to a trauma center, with a witness being the Colonel in the second option. The description of the issue mentions 'brutal sexual assault', not 'alleged'. I would assume that dropping these descriptors/hints would make it clear the event being referred here occurred in actuality. Hence why there isn't a fifth option panning the version of events as categorically false.
Last edited by Greater Cesnica on Wed Jul 24, 2019 2:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Proud Red Tory.
An 8 Power Civilization, with Tier 9 Technology and Type 7 Influence.
I use NS stats for the Economy and GDP spending only.
Working on this right now!

Pro: Capitalism, Conservatism, Secular State, Right to Bear Arms, Death Penalty, Responsible Immigration Policies, Equality.
Against: SJWS, Modern Leftism, Socialism, Islamism, Discrimination, Orwellian Government.
Giovenith wrote:And sorry hun, if you were looking for a forum site where nobody argued, you've come to wrong one.
My favourite revenge would be:
Genivaria wrote:Giving him an anal probe with a bayonet?

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Postby Greater Cesnica » Wed Jul 24, 2019 4:46 pm

So should I submit soon?
Proud Red Tory.
An 8 Power Civilization, with Tier 9 Technology and Type 7 Influence.
I use NS stats for the Economy and GDP spending only.
Working on this right now!

Pro: Capitalism, Conservatism, Secular State, Right to Bear Arms, Death Penalty, Responsible Immigration Policies, Equality.
Against: SJWS, Modern Leftism, Socialism, Islamism, Discrimination, Orwellian Government.
Giovenith wrote:And sorry hun, if you were looking for a forum site where nobody argued, you've come to wrong one.
My favourite revenge would be:
Genivaria wrote:Giving him an anal probe with a bayonet?

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Postby Drongonia » Thu Jul 25, 2019 5:07 am

This is looking really good, I hope it's accepted.
The Republic of Drongonia

MT Democratic nation with a strong focus on defence, civil rights, political rights and the economy. Mostly conservative centre-right politics.

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♂♀Copy and paste this in your signature if you know there are 2 genders and didn't fail biology, and also you understand that sex and gender are the same.♂♀

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and...
Crony capitalism, communism, socialism, high taxes, gun control, government intervention, overseas conflicts, identity politics, general degeneracy.

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