[DRAFT] A Child By Any Other Name

[Nagatar Karumuttu Chettiar]

So this is my eighth attempted issue that I think would make pretty good follow-ups for the Government Mandated Master list issue. Here goes.

[TITLE] A Child by Any Other Name

[VALIDITY]
Government Mandated Master List of Names
Immigration Allowed

[DESCRIPTION]
After giving birth in @@CAPITAL@@ Hospital last week, a recently naturalised citizen of @@NAME@@ whose family immigrated from Copiluaca found out she could not name her daughter in accordance with her ethnic tradition due to the Government Mandated Naming List. She has petitioned the government to appeal the laws that govern naming convention.

[OPTION 1]
"I know this seems bad, but there is a reason we have that policy." says your Minister of the Mandated List of Names, Robert Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff. "Immigrant parents simply must forsake their traditional names for @@DEMONYM@@ ones. Not only does it help the child feel more at home in @@NAME@@, but also helps them integrate into society faster. Misses Su... Sew... Sue. For goodness sakes, I can hardly pronounce the mother's name. She will have to name her daughter something from the list. You wouldn't want us all to look like fools, would you?"

[EFFECT] immigrants families back home often believe their @@DEMONYM@@ born relatives to be adopted,


[OPTION 2]
"This is cultural imperialism!" yells the cue Mother-In-Question entering the room in a rage, "I am @@DEMONYM@@ through and through, and I don't want to have to give up my heritage prove it! I want my daughter to grow up in a society where no immigrant would need to adopt a @@DEMONYM@@ name to integrate faster! Clearly this policy is just not working - scrap it and push a little funding the way of an acceptance campaign, so @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ can be proud of their country regardless of their name's etymology. If a couple naughty names is the price we all pay, so be it."

[EFFECT] @@DEMONYM@@ names don't sound so @@DEMONYM@@ anymore,


[OPTION 3]
"Well, lets not get angry at each other, friends!" cheerily says your Secretary of Creative Compromises and Friendship, @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@. "We can compromise a little here, huh? Just add a couple names to the master list that are really common in other major countries and cultures, make a couple changes there, and phase out some of the more uncommon foreign names from use! How about that?"

[EFFECT] @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ think all foreigners have one of three ethnic names,

[TITLE] A Child by Any Other Name

[VALIDITY]
Government Mandated Master List of Names
Immigration Allowed

[DESCRIPTION]
After giving birth in @@CAPITAL@@ Hospital last week, a recently naturalised citizen of @@NAME@@ whose family immigrated from Copiluaca found out she could not name her daughter in accordance with her ethnic tradition due to the Government Mandated Naming List. She has petitioned the government to appeal the laws that govern naming convention.

[OPTION 1]
"I know this seems bad, but there is a reason we have that policy." says your Minister of the Mandated List of Names. "Immigrant parents simply must forsake their traditional names for @@DEMONYM@@ ones. Not only does it help the child feel more at home in @@NAME@@, but also helps them integrate into society faster. Misses Peyla... Pyl... Pyól. For goodness sakes, I can't even pronounce the mother's name. She will have to name her daughter something from the list. You wouldn't want us all to look like fools, would you?"

[EFFECT] immigrants families back home often believe their @@DEMONYM@@ born relatives to be adopted,


[OPTION 2]
"This is cultural imperialism!" yells the devout Mother-In-Question entering the room in a rage, "I am @@DEMONYM@@ through and through, and I don't want to have to give up my heritage prove it! I want my daughter to grow up in a society where no immigrant would need to adopt a @@DEMONYM@@ name to integrate faster! Clearly this policy is just not working - scrap it and push a little funding the way of an acceptance campaign, so @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ can be proud of their country regardless of their name's etymology. If a couple naughty names is the price we all pay, so be it."

[EFFECT] @@DEMONYM@@ names don't sound so @@DEMONYM@@ anymore,


[OPTION 3]
"Well, lets not get angry at each other, friends!" cheerily says your Secretary of Creative Compromises and Friendship, @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@. "We can compromise a little here, huh? Just add a couple names to the master list that are really common in other major countries and cultures, make a couple changes there, and phase out some of the more uncommon foreign names from use! How about that?"

[EFFECT] @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ think all foreigners have one of three ethnic names,

[The Free Joy State]

Why is the mother still heavily-accented if her family immigrated 50 years ago? If she is just having children now, she most likely wouldn't have even been a child then (unless we are talking about some very long-lived alien species, but we generally assume we are writing for humans -- a fault perhaps but a longstanding one -- who generally reach the menopause in their 40s at the latest).

Also worth remembering that Brancaland is pretty heavily Canadian. I suggest you check the list of NPC nations, and consider previous representations of Brancaland for culture.

[Nagatar Karumuttu Chettiar]

Why is the mother still heavily-accented if her family immigrated 50 years ago? If she is just having children now, she most likely wouldn't have even been a child then (unless we are talking about some very long-lived alien species, but we generally assume we are writing for humans -- a fault perhaps but a longstanding one -- who generally reach the menopause in their 40s at the latest).

Also worth remembering that Brancaland is pretty heavily Canadian. I suggest you check the list of NPC nations, and consider previous representations of Brancaland for culture.

Fixed! Overall, how would you say the prospects of this draft look?

(Also, I imagined her parents would have immigrated and she born after that)

[The Free Joy State]

And now she's "surprisingly unaccented". Why is it surprising? She's lived in @@NAME@@ all her life.

I suggest you find something else to remark on.

As for how it's looking... a little flat.

Surely, if she's been in @@NAME@@ her whole life, she may well have a name from the Master List herself (depending on how long it's been around). There's no way of knowing how long -- headcanon time -- this policy has been in place (of course, it will be received directly after, but I'm talking headcanon, which is different).

It would be more realistic to have a more recent immigrant who wants to name the child after the culture of her origin. The woman in option two was most likely (just by the number of years involved) born in @@NAME@@, went to @@DEMONYM@@ schools, has @@DEMONYM@@ friends.

And please consider a name that sounds more Brancalandian for the woman. Remember that the Prime Minister of Brancaland is Dustin Wiseau. Consistency is important with existing NPC nations.

[Nagatar Karumuttu Chettiar]

And now she's "surprisingly unaccented". Why is it surprising? She's lived in @@NAME@@ all her life.

Okay, let me think of something else to comment on. I think if I change her to having recently immigrated I can still comment on the accent

As for how it's looking... a little flat.

Well, even if it isn't issue-worthy right now, I will work to make this draft as excellent as I can.

Surely, if she's been in @@NAME@@ her whole life, she may well have a name from the Master List herself (depending on how long it's been around). There's no way of knowing how long -- headcanon time -- this policy has been in place (of course, it will be received directly after, but I'm talking headcanon, which is different).

It would be more realistic to have a more recent immigrant who wants to name the child after the culture of her origin. The woman in option two was most likely (just by the number of years involved) born in @@NAME@@, went to @@DEMONYM@@ schools, has @@DEMONYM@@ friends.

Fair enough. We ought to change it. Let me do so!

And please consider a name that sounds more Brancalandian for the woman. Remember that the Prime Minister of Brancaland is Dustin Wiseau. Consistency is important with existing NPC nations.

Changed her to Brasilistani to fit the name!

[Bears Armed]

And now she's "surprisingly unaccented". Why is it surprising? She's lived in @@NAME@@ all her life.

Maybe immigrants from that source often congregate together in particular localities (even without an official ghettoization policy....) to such an extent that they can get along with using only their native language for most of the time, maybe even with schools of their own in which instruction is primarily in that language, and so some of them -- especially in groups where tradition treats one sex's members as belonging mainly "in the home" -- never get much practice with this nation's language?

[The Free Joy State]

And now she's "surprisingly unaccented". Why is it surprising? She's lived in @@NAME@@ all her life.

Maybe immigrants from that source often congregate together in particular localities (even without an official ghettoization policy....) to such an extent that they can get along with using only their native language for most of the time, maybe even with schools of their own in which instruction is primarily in that language, and so some of them -- especially in groups where tradition treats one sex's members as belonging mainly "in the home" -- never get much practice with this nation's language?

That's a lot of assumptive maybes.

[Bears Armed]

Maybe immigrants from that source often congregate together in particular localities (even without an official ghettoization policy....) to such an extent that they can get along with using only their native language for most of the time, maybe even with schools of their own in which instruction is primarily in that language, and so some of them -- especially in groups where tradition treats one sex's members as belonging mainly "in the home" -- never get much practice with this nation's language?

That's a lot of assumptive maybes.

There have been groups like that in some RL nations.

[The Free Joy State]

That's a lot of assumptive maybes.

There have been groups like that in some RL nations.

Within NS, it's best not to make too many assumptions about the make-up of nations like that (immigrant communities all living in self-made ghettoes). Of course, some characters -- Violetists -- have been established as keeping to their own communities. But, we have at least one issue that states immigrant communities must live dispersed among the native population (that decision is not tracked), and we don't like to interfere too much with headcanon.

Such as you describe would suggest additional validity restrictions (which would have to be added onto the original issue, as new validities cannot be added to automatically chained issues).

As for the new draft:
There's a problem with using Brasilistan. Brasilistan is part of a chain. It can be blown-up and/or colonised (and there's no separate check we can put on this issue alone). If it is a colony of @@NAME@@, the woman will not be an immigrant, she'll be a citizen from @@NAME@@'s colony. That's if she survived the horrible nuclear bomb that destroyed her homeland. Best use another country.

A more recent immigrant is better, but I don't know why you keep fixating on her accent in #2.

Just mentioning that someone has/doesn't have an accent is not funny or characterising. I suggest you come up with something comepletely different (not accent related. Not even sort-of accent linked. Not even accent-ish).

[EFFECT] the Government Mandated Name List is has been eliminated,

We try and avoid this sort of tell-y, restating-the-option effect line now.

[Bears Armed]

There have been groups like that in some RL nations.

Within NS, it's best not to make too many assumptions about the make-up of nations like that (immigrant communities all living in self-made ghettoes). Of course, some characters -- Violetists -- have been established as keeping to their own communities. But, we have at least one issue that states immigrant communities must live dispersed among the native population (that decision is not tracked), and we don't like to interfere too much with headcanon.

Such as you describe would suggest additional validity restrictions (which would have to be added onto the original issue, as new validities cannot be added to automatically chained issues).

Fair enough.

[Australian rePublic]

Did the mother have to change her name?

[Nagatar Karumuttu Chettiar]

There have been groups like that in some RL nations.

Within NS, it's best not to make too many assumptions about the make-up of nations like that (immigrant communities all living in self-made ghettoes). Of course, some characters -- Violetists -- have been established as keeping to their own communities. But, we have at least one issue that states immigrant communities must live dispersed among the native population (that decision is not tracked), and we don't like to interfere too much with headcanon.

Such as you describe would suggest additional validity restrictions (which would have to be added onto the original issue, as new validities cannot be added to automatically chained issues).

As for the new draft:
There's a problem with using Brasilistan. Brasilistan is part of a chain. It can be blown-up and/or colonised (and there's no separate check we can put on this issue alone). If it is a colony of @@NAME@@, the woman will not be an immigrant, she'll be a citizen from @@NAME@@'s colony. That's if she survived the horrible nuclear bomb that destroyed her homeland. Best use another country.

A more recent immigrant is better, but I don't know why you keep fixating on her accent in #2.

Just mentioning that someone has/doesn't have an accent is not funny or characterising. I suggest you come up with something comepletely different (not accent related. Not even sort-of accent linked. Not even accent-ish).

[EFFECT] the Government Mandated Name List is has been eliminated,

We try and avoid this sort of tell-y, restating-the-option effect line now.

Okay, I changed her nationality to Copiluacan and described her differently, and changed the effect line. What say you now?

Did the mother have to change her name?

No. Why would she?

[Candensia]

I think this issue carries a more serious tone than it needs to. Injecting additional humor into the options can lighten it up, so long as care is taken not to overdo it and inadvertently offend the reader.

You could, for instance, hand the speaker in option one a complicated ethnic name to score irony points, or have the name that the speaker is struggling to pronounce be uncomplicated. Have them struggle to pronounce the oh-so-difficult ethnic name that is "bob".

Stuff like that

[The Free Joy State]

I think this issue carries a more serious tone than it needs to. Injecting additional humor into the options can lighten it up, so long as care is taken not to overdo it and inadvertently offend the reader.

You could, for instance, hand the speaker in option one a complicated ethnic name to score irony points, or have the name that the speaker is struggling to pronounce be uncomplicated. Have them struggle to pronounce the oh-so-difficult ethnic name that is "bob".

Stuff like that

I like this as an idea to insert some humour (and there really needs to be more humour inserted in this issue), but it's worth remembering that names will vary by @@NAME@@'s culture. However, using a very long and complicated name from the RANDOMNAME list for the first speaker (and a very short name for the mother) is a viable alternative -- that way, it works within the consistency of NS's world, while still employing Candensia's suggestion:

"Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff" suggests itself for the first speaker's surname.

[Trotterdam]

You could, for instance, hand the speaker in option one a complicated ethnic name to score irony points, or have the name that the speaker is struggling to pronounce be uncomplicated. Have them struggle to pronounce the oh-so-difficult ethnic name that is "Bob".

Japanese speakers would have trouble with that name

I like this as an idea to insert some humour (and there really needs to be more humour inserted in this issue), but it's worth remembering that names will vary by @@NAME@@'s culture. However, using a very long and complicated name from the RANDOMNAME list for the first speaker (and a very short name for the mother) is a viable alternative -- that way, it works within the consistency of NS's world, while still employing Candensia's suggestion:

Though the names on the @@RANDOMNAME@@ list keep getting assigned, so apparently they're the ones that do get put on the list

Which raises some questions about your nation, really.

[Nagatar Karumuttu Chettiar]

I think this issue carries a more serious tone than it needs to. Injecting additional humor into the options can lighten it up, so long as care is taken not to overdo it and inadvertently offend the reader.

You could, for instance, hand the speaker in option one a complicated ethnic name to score irony points, or have the name that the speaker is struggling to pronounce be uncomplicated. Have them struggle to pronounce the oh-so-difficult ethnic name that is "bob".

Stuff like that

I like this as an idea to insert some humour (and there really needs to be more humour inserted in this issue), but it's worth remembering that names will vary by @@NAME@@'s culture. However, using a very long and complicated name from the RANDOMNAME list for the first speaker (and a very short name for the mother) is a viable alternative -- that way, it works within the consistency of NS's world, while still employing Candensia's suggestion:

"Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff" suggests itself for the first speaker's surname.

I think this issue carries a more serious tone than it needs to. Injecting additional humor into the options can lighten it up, so long as care is taken not to overdo it and inadvertently offend the reader.

You could, for instance, hand the speaker in option one a complicated ethnic name to score irony points, or have the name that the speaker is struggling to pronounce be uncomplicated. Have them struggle to pronounce the oh-so-difficult ethnic name that is "bob".

Stuff like that

Should I edit that to be the first speakers surname? It sounds fantastic (and German).

You could, for instance, hand the speaker in option one a complicated ethnic name to score irony points, or have the name that the speaker is struggling to pronounce be uncomplicated. Have them struggle to pronounce the oh-so-difficult ethnic name that is "Bob".

Japanese speakers would have trouble with that name

I like this as an idea to insert some humour (and there really needs to be more humour inserted in this issue), but it's worth remembering that names will vary by @@NAME@@'s culture. However, using a very long and complicated name from the RANDOMNAME list for the first speaker (and a very short name for the mother) is a viable alternative -- that way, it works within the consistency of NS's world, while still employing Candensia's suggestion:

Though the names on the @@RANDOMNAME@@ list keep getting assigned, so apparently they're the ones that do get put on the list

Which raises some questions about your nation, really.

What is a short feminine version of Bob that sounds foreign? I think that would be pretty hard to pull off.

[The Free Joy State]

I like this as an idea to insert some humour (and there really needs to be more humour inserted in this issue), but it's worth remembering that names will vary by @@NAME@@'s culture. However, using a very long and complicated name from the RANDOMNAME list for the first speaker (and a very short name for the mother) is a viable alternative -- that way, it works within the consistency of NS's world, while still employing Candensia's suggestion:

"Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff" suggests itself for the first speaker's surname.

I think this issue carries a more serious tone than it needs to. Injecting additional humor into the options can lighten it up, so long as care is taken not to overdo it and inadvertently offend the reader.

You could, for instance, hand the speaker in option one a complicated ethnic name to score irony points, or have the name that the speaker is struggling to pronounce be uncomplicated. Have them struggle to pronounce the oh-so-difficult ethnic name that is "bob".

Stuff like that

Should I edit that to be the first speakers surname? It sounds fantastic (and German).

The suggestion was to use a long, complex name as the first character's surname. You could use that.

Japanese speakers would have trouble with that name

Though the names on the @@RANDOMNAME@@ list keep getting assigned, so apparently they're the ones that do get put on the list

Which raises some questions about your nation, really.

What is a short feminine version of Bob that sounds foreign? I think that would be pretty hard to pull off.

I believe Candensia's suggestion was to use something simple and easily pronounceable, to up the humour, which this draft needs (also worth saying that YMMV on what sounds "foreign" based on the player's culture). I suggest Jill, Kim, Jane, May, Tess or Sue as options.

[Nagatar Karumuttu Chettiar]

Alright! Revised and suggestions incorporated!

[Candensia]

I think you are looking better, but the issue starts to get dull after the first option. See if you can tie in any additional humor, any more irony or jokes. If you can, I foresee great things in the future for this draft.

Also, be aware that the title for #859 is "A Cola by Any Other Name". You may wish to think of alternatives if your current title is judged too similar.