but at the same time I couldn't think of a better title.
Haven't made a draft based on stats in a while, and I thought this up while trying to go to sleep.
Wanted to mention that while this isn't 100% true for NS, it does seem to be a more accurate representation of irl,
and besides, the very top of the most compliant nations in NS are also some of the happiest. (see: Kindjal)
Hope you enjoy.
Title: The Free Joy States
The Issue: While playing a game of Cards Against Nations, where certain statistics on the cards of various nations are matched against each other nation, your Minister of Propaganda learned some trivia - that the citizens of @@NAME@@ are content with life! Hoping to win at more card games - and increase worker productivity - your minister has assembled a mass of statisticians to see if more could be done.
Validity: High authoritarianism; Top 60%ish? Happiness
Option 1: "I realized it when I got to reading Prudenland's information," says the Minister, showing you a rather bland pair of line graphs with crude representational icons. "If lawless wastelands like these can keep their citizens compliant with cheerfulness, think about how much order our society would have! More productivity, less people questioning the government. So lets try making our citizens happy — by making them undergo mandatory mood and society appreciation training."
[effect] people are getting upset about being so happy
Option 2: "The last thing we should do is give people hope," argues your Minister of Law and Order, whacking the other minister with a truncheon. "It'll only give way to revolution, disaster, and chaos. No, we need to kill what happiness there is. Clamp down their smiles. Strike fear into their hearts. Make them disgusted at the thought of trife things like happiness. Something too few nations have the guts to do, these days."
[effect] grins have resulted in mind-shattering trauma
Validity: Not a WA Member
Option 3a: "Hey, have you noticed these happy, compliant nations also have an open government and a free populace?" your secretary asks your Intelligence Minister, who's now doubled over in pain. "That can't be right! It seems this data is being skewed by the libertarian globalists. This data can't be trusted; no 'freedom' nation can be trusted. We need to rally our people against them. And best of all, the wave of nationalism will unite the masses together and bring us order — a new @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ order!"
[effect] fact checkers can't be trusted
Validity: WA Member
Option 3b: "Hey, have you noticed these happy, compliant nations also have an open government and a free populace?" your secretary asks your Intelligence Minister, who's now doubled over in pain. "That can't be right! It seems this data is being skewed by the libertarian globalists. This data can't be trusted; the World Assembly can't be trusted. We need to leave the World Assembly and rally our people against it. And best of all, the wave of nationalism will unite the masses together and bring us order — a new @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ order!"
[effect] fact checkers can't be trusted
Final Option: "Wye helaw deer, @@LEADER@@!" cheers gothic electrician and part-time road carcus remover Ramsi Ballo-Poga. "We need not be put in a zugzwang poseetion. We should monitor and archive dee behavior of da niiiiice and joyous peoples of @@NAME@@, even while dey sleep! I doo dat with my pet marsupials! Maybe we can produce, ah, more cameras and sensors smedged into clothing and grocery baggies. I can len' you a hand, and we'll have noah grim domain in all da nation of @@NAME@@!"
[effect]
