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[SUBMITTED] Corruption, Contemplation, and Cuteness Amok

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Jutsa
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[SUBMITTED] Corruption, Contemplation, and Cuteness Amok

Postby Jutsa » Wed Mar 27, 2019 5:37 pm

... I'm slowly losing my marbles, aren't I?

In all fairness, I was inspired by this (presumably joke) draft.
A personal favorite! I think it's somewhat similar, buuut honestly I couldn't resist the idea of a 144.2 followup any longer. :lol:

Title: Corruption, Contemplation, and Cuteness Amok
The Issue: Secretariat, a horse recently elected as mayor of @@ANIMAL@@ City, has been vetoing every single bill coming into office, sternly shouting "Neigh!" every time.
Validity: Followup to 144.2

Option 1: "I'm not thrilled that we have these cabbage heads who are elected town councilors," whines @@RANDOMNAME@@, having lost the local election to Ms. Snuggleworth, a cat that's currently cleaning herself on your desk. "But even you have to admit they are all for show. Surely only legitimate, legal-citizen-based decisions on legislation count, right?" @@HE@@ steps in a puddle left behind by one of your junior MPs.
[effect] towns are often run by puppets

Option 2: "Aw, horse pucky! This is all a problem with communication," says everything-whisperer Madam LaBrie, caressing her latest book, Dog Eat Dog and Catty Politics: How to Tell the Roosters from the Chickens. "They don't speak in words, after all. If you gave my organization permission, and proper funding, we can translate politicians' ramblings to the masses for you, and you'll have genuine answers straight form the horse's mouth."
[effect] well-paid translators repeat whatever politicians just said

Option 3: "You're right, they don't speak intelligible language! So how can this horse be making such smart-ass decisions?" interrogates purity extremist @@RANDOMNAME@@, lead suspect of the high-profile criminal investigation of the dismemberment of recently-elected government official Cardboard Cutout of @@LEADER@@. "I smell a horse's ass. Regardless of who's pulling the strings, we need to send these corrupt politicians and their cohorts to the glue factory!"
[effect] toilet paper rolls' political careers have been flushed down the toilet

Option 4: "Meow!" trills Ms. Snuggleworth, pushing off all the papers on your desk aside from a bill proposing her latest agenda be made policy nationwide.
[effect] cats are people too


Title: Corruption, Contemplation, and Cuteness Amuck
The Issue: Secretariat, a horse recently elected as mayor of @@ANIMAL@@ City, has been vetoing every single bill coming into office, sternly shouting "Neigh!" every time.
Validity: Followup to 144.2

Option 1: "I'm not thrilled that we have these cabbage heads elected town counsils," whines @@RANDOMNAME@@, having lost the local election to Ms. Snuggleworth, a cat that's currently cleaning herself on your desk. "But even you have to admit they are all for show. Surely only legitimate, legal citizen-based decisions on legislation count, right?" @@HE@@ steps in a puddle left behind by one of your junior MPs.
[effect] towns are often run by puppets

Option 2: "Aw, horse pucky! This is all a problem with communication," says everything-whisperrer Madam LaBrie, carressing her latest book, Dog Eat Dog and Catty Politics: How to Tell the Roosters from the Chickens. "They don't speak in words, after all. If you gave my organization permission, and proper funding, we can translate politicians' ramblings to the masses for you, and you'll have genuine answers straight form the horse's mouth."
[effect] well-paid translators repeat whatever politicians just said

Option 3: "You're right, they don't speak intelligible language! So how can this horse be making such smart-ass decisions?" interrogates purity extremist @@RANDOMNAME@@, lead suspect of the high-profile criminal investigation of the dismantling of recently elected government official Cardboard Cutout of @@LEADER@@. "I smell a horse's ass. Regardless of who's pulling the strings, we need to send these corrupt politicians and their cohorts to the glue factory!"
[effect] toilet paper rolls' political careers have been flushed down the toilet

Option 4: "Meow!" trills Ms. Snuggleworth, pushing off all the papers on your desk aside from a bill proposing her latest agenda be made policy nationwide.
[effect] cats are people too


Title: Corruption, Contemplation, and Cuteness Amuck
The Issue: Miss Snuggleworth, a cat recently elected as mayor of @@ANIMAL@@ City, passed a bill banning animal feed and making humans give quality human food to animals they live with.
Validity: Followup to 144.2

Validity: Juries
Option 1a: "So, there's nothing about this bill that's inherently illegal," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, reading a verdict from a jury of Miss Snuggleworth's peers. "It's poorly written, however, so we can legally feed them our unwanted leftovers and save on garbage waste. What I'm concerned about is that someone this corrupt made it into power. It's clear we need to lecture our less intelligent citizens so they can make wiser decisions on who to vote for."
[effect] educational institutions are taking parliamentary seats away from the lab mice party

Validity: No Juries
Option 1b: "So, there's nothing about this bill that's inherently illegal," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, reading a verdict from a judge that was more than figuratively a cabbage head. "It's poorly written, however, so we can legally feed them our unwanted leftovers and save on garbage waste. What I'm concerned about is that someone this corrupt made it into power. It's clear we need to lecture our less intelligent citizens so they can make wiser decisions on who to vote for."
[effect] educational institutions are taking parliamentary seats away from lab mice

Option 2: "I'm not thrilled that we now have rolls of toilet paper elected town counsils," whines @@RANDOMNAME@@, having lost the local election to Miss Snuggleworth. "But even you have to admit they are all for show; they have no actual legal skills. Do you think you could at least make only legitimate, human-submitted legislation constitute actual law?"
[effect] puppet rulers are actually hand puppets

Option 3: "You're right, they have no legal skills. They can't even understand human language! So how do you think this proposal got made?" interrogates purity extremist @@RANDOMNAME@@, lead suspect of the high-profile criminal investigation of the dismemberment of recently elected government official Cardboard Cutout of Dapper Walnut. "There's obviously someone behind the scenes doing this. We must launch a full-scale investigation and purge anyone suspected of using cute animals to get their way!"
[effect] secret service agents regularly parachute into peanut packing plants suspected of colluding with feline government infiltrators

Option 4: "Meow!" trills Miss Snuggleworth, pushing across your desk a proposal to make daily siestas mandatory nationwide.
[effect] cats are people too


Title: Corruption, Contemplation, and Cuteness Amuck
The Issue: Miss Snuggleworth, a cat recently elected as mayor of @@ANIMAL@@ City, passed a bill banning animal feed and making humans give quality human food to animals they live with.
Validity: Followup to 144.2

Validity: Juries
Option 1a: "So, there's nothing about this bill that's inherently illegal," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, reading a verdict from a jury of Miss Snuggleworth's peers. "It's poorly written, however, so we can legally feed them our unwanted leftovers and save on garbage waste. What I'm concerned about is that someone this corrupt made it into power. It's clear we need to lecture our less intelligent citizens so they can make wiser decisions on who to vote for."
[effect] educational institutions are taking parliamentary seats away from the lab mice party

Validity: No Juries
Option 1b: "So, there's nothing about this bill that's inherently illegal," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, reading a verdict from a judge that was more than figuratively a cabbage head. "It's poorly written, however, so we can legally feed them our unwanted leftovers and save on garbage waste. What I'm concerned about is that someone this corrupt made it into power. It's clear we need to lecture our less intelligent citizens so they can make wiser decisions on who to vote for."
[effect] educational institutions are taking parliamentary seats away from lab mice

Option 2: "I'm not thrilled that we now have rolls of toilet paper elected town counsils," whines @@RANDOMNAME@@, having lost the local election to Miss Snuggleworth. "But even you have to admit they are all for show; they have no actual legal skills. Do you think you could at least make only legitimate, human-submitted legislation constitute actual law?"
[effect] puppet rulers are actually hand puppets

Option 3: "You're right, they have no legal skills. They can't even understand human language! So how do you think this proposal got made?" interrogates purity extremist @@RANDOMNAME@@, lead suspect of the high-profile criminal investigation of the dismemberment of recently elected government official Cardboard Cutout of Dapper Walnut. "There's obviously someone behind the scenes doing this. We must launch a full-scale investigation and purge anyone suspected of using cute animals to get their way!"
[effect] secret service agents regularly parachute into peanut packing plants suspected of colluding with feline government infiltrators

Option 4: "Meow!" trills Miss Snuggleworth, pushing across your desk a proposal to install her latest policy nationwide.
[effect] cats are people too
Last edited by Jutsa on Sun May 24, 2020 8:31 am, edited 29 times in total.
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Baggieland
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Postby Baggieland » Wed Mar 27, 2019 6:44 pm

Jutsa wrote:Option 4: "Meow!" trills Miss Snuggleworth, pushing across your desk a proposal to install her latest policy nationwide.


What proposal? Something cats would like obviously. Maybe legally mandated siestas, something like that.

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Jutsa
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Postby Jutsa » Wed Mar 27, 2019 7:01 pm

Was supposed to be a reference to the description:
passed a bill banning animal feed and making humans give quality human food to animals they live with.


That said I'll gladly change it. :lol:
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Postby Trotterdam » Wed Mar 27, 2019 7:03 pm

Jutsa wrote:The Issue: Miss Snuggleworth, a cat recently elected as mayor of @@ANIMAL@@ City, passed a bill banning animal feed and making humans give quality human food to animals they live with.
You know, if a cat is intelligent enough to be capable of drafting a bill like this, voting for her isn't even that dumb.

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Postby Baggieland » Thu Mar 28, 2019 3:55 am

Jutsa wrote:Was supposed to be a reference to the description:
passed a bill banning animal feed and making humans give quality human food to animals they live with.


That said I'll gladly change it. :lol:


I see. I thought the cat was pushing through ANOTHER proposal. :)

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Jutsa
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Postby Jutsa » Thu Mar 28, 2019 4:55 am

I mean, the cat might as well, right?
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Postby Baggieland » Thu Mar 28, 2019 4:53 pm

Jutsa wrote:I mean, the cat might as well, right?


Why not? :)

You don't fancy mandatory siestas? Cats love sleeping, they're masters at it!

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Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Fri Mar 29, 2019 4:37 am

Trotterdam wrote:
Jutsa wrote:The Issue: Miss Snuggleworth, a cat recently elected as mayor of @@ANIMAL@@ City, passed a bill banning animal feed and making humans give quality human food to animals they live with.
You know, if a cat is intelligent enough to be capable of drafting a bill like this, voting for her isn't even that dumb.


To continue this point, I can't help but thinking that while this issue is very funny, it doesn't really follow from 144.2 that animals are both treated as people and able to communicate sufficiently to propose specific legislation.
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Postby Australian rePublic » Fri Mar 29, 2019 9:21 am

Few issues here:
1. In order for this issue to work, @@NAME@@ must be a democracy. In a democracy, a mayour can't just pass a bill, even if they are mentally capable of doing so. Bills must run through parliment
2. Cats eat human food? What about stray cats? Do tigers/lions count? What if the human owner is a vegan/fasting from meat, thus having a dangerous diet for a cat
3. Ignoring point 1 for a minute. Forget about passing it throygh parliment. A cat cannot draft nor pass bills. A cat is just a figurehead. Whichever human acts on behalf of the cat must pass the bill. This now begs the question. Why would a human draft this bill? Corruption? How would one financially bemefit from this bill?
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Jutsa
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Postby Jutsa » Fri Mar 29, 2019 12:06 pm

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:
Trotterdam wrote:You know, if a cat is intelligent enough to be capable of drafting a bill like this, voting for her isn't even that dumb.


To continue this point, I can't help but thinking that while this issue is very funny, it doesn't really follow from 144.2 that animals are both treated as people and able to communicate sufficiently to propose specific legislation.


This is kinda where option 3 comes into play, and if you think about it, 3 makes a lot more sense,
but yeah, this is pretty cute.

I know we've got some animals actually elected mayors here in the US, and I'm pretty sure it was a puppet that got several votes over in Ireland, yes?
Might try making a reference to that one somewhere, but point is I might tweak this a little after I do some research as to how places
that actually have animal-electees works.

Oh, and not just politically. Turns out there's a Japanese train station run by a cat — with cat employees. Source
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Jutsa
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Postby Jutsa » Fri Mar 29, 2019 12:11 pm

Baggieland wrote:
Jutsa wrote:I mean, the cat might as well, right?


Why not? :)

You don't fancy mandatory siestas? Cats love sleeping, they're masters at it!


Yeah, good point. Changed fur brushing to siestas.

Funnily enough I really don't like napping, but I'd probably have to if I lived where it were too hot. :v
Last edited by Jutsa on Fri Mar 29, 2019 12:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Trotterdam » Fri Mar 29, 2019 2:21 pm

Baggieland wrote:You don't fancy mandatory siestas? Cats love sleeping, they're masters at it!
I don't see why you'd want to make them mandatory, though. Sure, forbidding others from interrupting you during your siesta, that makes sense. But forcing them to take their own siestas? That just takes up valuable sleeping surface.

Jutsa wrote:I know we've got some animals actually elected mayors here in the US, and I'm pretty sure it was a puppet that got several votes over in Ireland, yes?
Might try making a reference to that one somewhere, but point is I might tweak this a little after I do some research as to how places
that actually have animal-electees works.
I think you'd probably end up with, in practice, an empty seat that abstains from all votes, the difference between an animal and thin air being purely symbolic.

If you want a little more humor (but less believability) you could have a situation where, say, a horse stymies parliament by voting "neigh" on everything.

Jutsa wrote:Oh, and not just politically. Turns out there's a Japanese train station run by a cat — with cat employees. Source
Yes, that sounds like something Japan would do.

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Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Sun Mar 31, 2019 9:27 am

Trotterdam wrote:If you want a little more humor (but less believability) you could have a situation where, say, a horse stymies parliament by voting "neigh" on everything.


:rofl:

That's funny enough to justify the absurdity.
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Postby Jutsa » Sun Mar 31, 2019 2:28 pm

Huh. Might just try that approach. :lol:
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Postby Jutsa » Tue Dec 17, 2019 10:01 pm

updated it. Only took 9 months. :)
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Postby Jutsa » Fri May 01, 2020 10:19 am

and this one's totally gonna be a contest submission. Got any comments?
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Postby Tinhampton » Fri May 01, 2020 10:22 am

Jutsa wrote:Got any comments?

Yes - you misspelled "translators" as "translaters" in your second effect line. :P
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Postby Jutsa » Fri May 01, 2020 10:31 am

Rip. Coincidentally, imo, my worst effect line, though it's still an amusing thought.
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Postby Trotterdam » Fri May 01, 2020 11:36 am

Jutsa wrote:Option 1: "I'm not thrilled that we have these cabbage heads elected town counsils,"
I don't understand the grammar in the underlined part. Are the "cabbage heads" the individuals doing the electing, or the ones who got elected (onto councils, or as councillors), and just what is a "cabbage head" anyway? I mean, sure, it definitely sounds like some kind of insult, but it also doesn't seem like a slur that's specifically tailored to any group in particular.

Also, it's spelled "council".

Jutsa wrote:everything-whisperrer Madam LaBrie
I think that's one too many "r"s, unless she's purring.

Jutsa wrote:Option 3: "You're right, they don't speak intelligible language! So how can this horse be making such smart-ass decisions?"
Well obviously it can't. You need Equus asinus for that, not Equus caballus.

Jutsa wrote:lead suspect of the high-profile criminal investigation of the dismantling of recently elected government official Cardboard Cutout of @@LEADER@@
Again, what happened? Do you even "dismantle" cardboard cutouts, and what crime would that be? Was the cardboard cutout actually named "Cardboard Cutout of @@LEADER@@"?

I kind of want to suggest a hyphen in "recently-elected", but that feels like it's missing the main problem.

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Jutsa
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Postby Jutsa » Fri May 01, 2020 12:49 pm

Trotterdam wrote:I don't understand the grammar in the underlined part. Are the "cabbage heads" the individuals doing the electing, or the ones who got elected (onto councils, or as councillors), and just what is a "cabbage head" anyway? I mean, sure, it definitely sounds like some kind of insult, but it also doesn't seem like a slur that's specifically tailored to any group in particular.

He means "I'm not thrilled about these cabbage heads who are elected town officials", though I certainly can change that.
In terms of insults, I mean, it can both be interpreted as people who are dumb (like their head is just a cabbage), or, in this context, quite literally cabbage heads that have been elected for council.

Trotterdam wrote:Also, it's spelled "council".

Thanks :rofl:

Trotterdam wrote:I think that's one too many "r"s, unless she's purring.
Naeh, narrators shouldn't purr. Booped that one.

Trotterdam wrote:Well obviously it can't. You need Equus asinus for that, not Equus caballus.
Fair. Still, it's quite amusing.

Trotterdam wrote:Again, what happened? Do you even "dismantle" cardboard cutouts, and what crime would that be? Was the cardboard cutout actually named "Cardboard Cutout of @@LEADER@@"?


Yes.

Trotterdam wrote:I kind of want to suggest a hyphen in "recently-elected", but that feels like it's missing the main problem.

Nope that's definitely it. :)
Last edited by Jutsa on Fri May 01, 2020 12:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Jutsa
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Postby Jutsa » Mon May 18, 2020 9:25 pm

Gonna bump this for what I think will be the final time. Meanwhile, trying to think of other effect lines for other drafts and failing hard.
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Postby SherpDaWerp » Mon May 18, 2020 9:43 pm

This one is very funny, I'll say that. Only a couple minor points (of which both are not needed, just suggestions):

Jutsa wrote:Corruption, Contemplation, and Cuteness Amuck
Whilst amuck is accepted by the Macquarie dictionary as a word, it's more commonly spelt Amok (since the 1940s).

Jutsa wrote:Surely only legitimate, legal citizen-based decisions on legislation count, right
Obscure grammar: is "legal" an element of the list ("legitimate, legal, citizen-based") or is "legal" a descriptor of the citizens the decision is based on ("legitimate, legal-citizen-based decisions")? As far as I'm aware, your current formatting implies the latter, but it wouldn't hurt to be clear.
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Jutsa
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Postby Jutsa » Tue May 19, 2020 7:16 am

Many thanks! Honestly, I didn't even think about the former; Definitely going for the latter, will change. :)

Fixed Amok as well or at least I will within 20 seconds of this post

edit: also changed "dismantling" to "dismemberment". :)
Last edited by Jutsa on Tue May 19, 2020 7:20 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Jutsa
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Postby Jutsa » Sun May 24, 2020 9:57 am

Oh, right, yeah, forgot: Submitted. :lol:
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