[Draft] College Cheating Scandal!

[Hatzisland]

This is an early draft of issue inspired by the recent college cheating scandal. The draft is below:

Thanks to great work by the police and a mole, hundreds of famous actors and politicians have been found rigging national intellectual tests, faking extracurricular activities, and bribing college admissions officers to get their kids into elite colleges.

[Option one] "This is outrageous!" yells John Bonavolonto, the man who led Operation Varsity Reds. "People should not be given any special privileges because of their riches or fame. I say we prosecute these people, and hold the colleges accountable as well! This will not happen again!"

After statement: Parents are jailed for helping to get their kids to college.

[Option two] "You know" whispers Loris Loughli, actress and star in hit show "Empty House" , through the prison phone,"us actors and actresses could make you look really good on TV. Why, one of the writers of 'Empty House' was caught up in this little thing, and he could write some great shows about you and [insert nation]. All you have to do is make sure those officers look the other way."

After statement: The application process for colleges is rigged to favor the rich and powerful.

[Option three] Protesters of far-left activist group College For All march on the capitol. "What do we want? Free education! When do we want it? Now!" Activist @@RANDOMNAME@@ approaches you. "This wouldn't be an issue if the government took control of all colleges, and made them free! I mean, when has the government ever been corrupt?" The protester goes back to lead more chants.

After statement: College professors fail to tell the difference between 1st graders and college seniors.
Policy unlocked: Free College

[Option four] "Why should the government be involved in higher education at all?" muses libertarian Ben Shap, as he takes off his reading glasses and puts down his 1,000 page book. "Colleges should operate like businesses. If rich people want to spend their money getting their stupid kids into elite colleges, let them. Just defund the schools and redistribute the taxpayer money somewhere were it is more needed. Now that's just facts and logic."

After Statement: Colleges are no longer funded with taxpayer dollars.

[USS Monitor]

This looks like you know how to put a sentence together and have a clear idea of what story you want to tell -- but I'm really distracted by the way it's formatted. Could you put the whole draft in one box instead of separate ones for each option?

[Woods Is Back]

[Option three] Protesters of far-left activist group College For All march on the capitol. "What do we want? Free education! When do we want it? Now!" Activist Michelle Morris approaches you. "This wouldn't be an issue if the government took control of all colleges, and made them free! I mean, when has the government ever been corrupt?" The protester goes back to lead more chants.

After statement: The quality of college drops significantly.
Policy unlocked: Free College

Correct me if im wrong, but thats not a policy, correct?

[USS Monitor]

[Option three] Protesters of far-left activist group College For All march on the capitol. "What do we want? Free education! When do we want it? Now!" Activist Michelle Morris approaches you. "This wouldn't be an issue if the government took control of all colleges, and made them free! I mean, when has the government ever been corrupt?" The protester goes back to lead more chants.

After statement: The quality of college drops significantly.
Policy unlocked: Free College

Correct me if im wrong, but thats not a policy, correct?

Don't see it on a quick glance at the list, but authors don't need to worry about what policies are unlocked anyway.

The bigger concern here is the effect line that isn't funny and would not fit smoothly on the nation page. Rather than "The quality of college drops significantly," maybe give an example of the dropping quality, like, "people with PhDs still struggle to do basic arithmetic" -- lowercase "p" on "people" and no punctuation at the end because effect lines are not sentences.

Also, should probably use @@RANDOMNAME@@ for the name of the activist.

There are probably other things too.

[Hatzisland]

This looks like you know how to put a sentence together and have a clear idea of what story you want to tell -- but I'm really distracted by the way it's formatted. Could you put the whole draft in one box instead of separate ones for each option?

Sure. I thought it would be easier(sorry.) Also, the effect lines were mostly an afterthought, and will be changed soon. If you have any more recommendations, please share them. Also, as for random name, every character is supposed to mock someone(for example, the free college mocked Micheal Moore and defunding option mocked Ben Shapiro.) But that can be changed.

[Australian rePublic]

Why would the police get involved?

[Hatzisland]

Why would the police get involved?

I wanted to say the FBI, but couldn't for obvious reasons. Do you have a better word?

[Trotterdam]

Correct me if im wrong, but thats not a policy, correct?

There definitely exist issues that make college free (#209 1, #93 3). These do not give a visible policy flag.

[Australian rePublic]

Why would the police get involved?

I wanted to say the FBI, but couldn't for obvious reasons. Do you have a better word?

Why are the FBI involved?

[Hatzisland]

I wanted to say the FBI, but couldn't for obvious reasons. Do you have a better word?

Why are the FBI involved?

This was inspired by the real scandal, which involved the FBI. Once again, do you have a better word?

[Australian rePublic]

Why are the FBI involved?

This was inspired by the real scandal, which involved the FBI. Once again, do you have a better word?

Police is fine. Just curious as to why they would be interested

[Verdant Haven]

This was inspired by the real scandal, which involved the FBI. Once again, do you have a better word?

Police is fine. Just curious as to why they would be interested

The real world reason is because, in the USA, this falls under a couple categories - mail fraud, and conspiracy to violate Honest Service laws, both of which are federal crimes. On top of that (though not mentioned in this issue as yet), a number of the bribers apparently claimed the bribes as charitable gifts to try and cover their tracks, which is tax fraud as well.

The stuff most people are whining about - cheating on tests, lying about extracurriculars, those aren't illegal.

[Hatzisland]

Police is fine. Just curious as to why they would be interested

The real world reason is because, in the USA, this falls under a couple categories - mail fraud, and conspiracy to violate Honest Service laws, both of which are federal crimes. On top of that (though not mentioned in this issue as yet), a number of the bribers apparently claimed the bribes as charitable gifts to try and cover their tracks, which is tax fraud as well.

The stuff most people are whining about - cheating on tests, lying about extracurriculars, those aren't illegal.

So no complaints as of now?

[Outer Sparta]

The real world reason is because, in the USA, this falls under a couple categories - mail fraud, and conspiracy to violate Honest Service laws, both of which are federal crimes. On top of that (though not mentioned in this issue as yet), a number of the bribers apparently claimed the bribes as charitable gifts to try and cover their tracks, which is tax fraud as well.

The stuff most people are whining about - cheating on tests, lying about extracurriculars, those aren't illegal.

So no complaints as of now?

Use macros such as @@RANDOMNAME@@ if they don't cover specific people and such. Option 2's Lori's Loughli can be exempted since it references a real-life person.

[Hatzisland]

So no complaints as of now?

Use macros such as @@RANDOMNAME@@ if they don't cover specific people and such. Option 2's Lori's Loughli can be exempted since it references a real-life person.

John Bonavolonto was the man who led Varsity Blues(though his last name as changed slightly), and Ben Shap is supposed to be Ben Shapiro.

[Australian rePublic]

Police is fine. Just curious as to why they would be interested

The real world reason is because, in the USA, this falls under a couple categories - mail fraud, and conspiracy to violate Honest Service laws, both of which are federal crimes. On top of that (though not mentioned in this issue as yet), a number of the bribers apparently claimed the bribes as charitable gifts to try and cover their tracks, which is tax fraud as well.

The stuff most people are whining about - cheating on tests, lying about extracurriculars, those aren't illegal.

I see

[Outer Sparta]

Use macros such as @@RANDOMNAME@@ if they don't cover specific people and such. Option 2's Lori's Loughli can be exempted since it references a real-life person.

John Bonavolonto was the man who led Varsity Blues(though his last name as changed slightly), and Ben Shap is supposed to be Ben Shapiro.

For option 4 featuring Ben Shap, make him be more like Shapiro and add this to the end: "Now I owned them with facts and logic!"

[Hatzisland]

John Bonavolonto was the man who led Varsity Blues(though his last name as changed slightly), and Ben Shap is supposed to be Ben Shapiro.

For option 4 featuring Ben Shap, make him be more like Shapiro and add this to the end: "Now I owned them with facts and logic!"

I don't know... it doesn't seem to fit. How should I reword it?

[Outer Sparta]

For option 4 featuring Ben Shap, make him be more like Shapiro and add this to the end: "Now I owned them with facts and logic!"

I don't know... it doesn't seem to fit. How should I reword it?

[Option four] "Why should the government be involved in higher education at all?" muses libertarian Ben Shap, as he takes off his reading glasses and puts down his 1,000 page book. "Colleges should operate like businesses. If rich people want to spend their money getting their stupid kids into elite colleges, let them. Just defund the schools and redistribute the taxpayer money somewhere were it is more needed. Now I owned them with facts and logic!"

Bolded is where I think it should go.

[Hatzisland]

I don't know... it doesn't seem to fit. How should I reword it?

[Option four] "Why should the government be involved in higher education at all?" muses libertarian Ben Shap, as he takes off his reading glasses and puts down his 1,000 page book. "Colleges should operate like businesses. If rich people want to spend their money getting their stupid kids into elite colleges, let them. Just defund the schools and redistribute the taxpayer money somewhere were it is more needed. Now I owned them with facts and logic!"

Bolded is where I think it should go.

It doesn't really make sense though. I'm trying to make him appear as an intellectual libertarian(as he is in real life.) I don't think it fits in the issue.

[Outer Sparta]

[Option four] "Why should the government be involved in higher education at all?" muses libertarian Ben Shap, as he takes off his reading glasses and puts down his 1,000 page book. "Colleges should operate like businesses. If rich people want to spend their money getting their stupid kids into elite colleges, let them. Just defund the schools and redistribute the taxpayer money somewhere were it is more needed. Now I owned them with facts and logic!"

Bolded is where I think it should go.

It doesn't really make sense though. I'm trying to make him appear as an intellectual libertarian(as he is in real life.) I don't think it fits in the issue.

The "facts and logic" is his go-to catchphrase. I think it adds a little humor to the issue. It's your final decision whether you want that tidbit or not. I think it enhances the last issue and is worthy of a good reference.

[Hatzisland]

It doesn't really make sense though. I'm trying to make him appear as an intellectual libertarian(as he is in real life.) I don't think it fits in the issue.

The "facts and logic" is his go-to catchphrase. I think it adds a little humor to the issue. It's your final decision whether you want that tidbit or not. I think it enhances the last issue and is worthy of a good reference.

I decided to add it. Let's just hope this issue gets picked up by an editor.

[Outer Sparta]

The "facts and logic" is his go-to catchphrase. I think it adds a little humor to the issue. It's your final decision whether you want that tidbit or not. I think it enhances the last issue and is worthy of a good reference.

I decided to add it. Let's just hope this issue gets picked up by an editor.

If you feel your draft is good enough, feel free to submit it. Good luck!

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Thanks to great work by the police and a mole, hundreds of famous actors and politicians have been found rigging national intellectual tests, faking extracurricular activities, and bribing college admissions officers to get their kids into elite colleges.

The premise here doesn't seem grey enough to me.

Essentially we have:

The police have caught rich paying bribes to give their kids unfair advantage in college admissions.

To which I reply "great, the police are doing their job".

There's no dilemma there for any reasonable nation.

I'd reframe it to actually ask a hard question of the player, while retaining the same core. I'd also suggest humanising the issue by presenting named protagonists earlier.

Something like:

@@randommalefirstname@@ @@randomsurname@@ -- the not terribly academic son of millionaire actor @@randommalefirstname@@ @@samesurname@@ -- was recently admitted to the prestigious and highly competitive @@ANIMAL@@ City Business School. The school have openly admitted that they essentially sold the place, offering it in exchange for hefty donations and celebrity endorsement by the famous father.

That way, it becomes an event that has happened rather than a crime that has been solved. You can then present the options in a more balanced way, where one guy is saying that this is unacceptable and unmeritocratic, another saying that there's nothing wrong with capitalist mechanisms controlling placement in a school, and then a crazy option or two tagged on the end.