[REJECTED] Scan & Secure

[Socio Polor]

This draft is a redo on this issue I scrapped awhile back

Title: Scan & Secure

Description: After high school student @@randomname@@ was spotted with a 9MM Pistol by a fellow classmate, many started to question whether metal detectors should be utilized in public schools.

Validity: Charter and Private Schools must exist, Gun use must be legal to civilians, and Firearm use among minors is forbidden

Option 1: "Ha! I mean....I hope nobody got hurt or anything, but I totally called it," muses the Head of the @@demonymadjective@@ Board of Public School Safety, with a smug lift of @@his@@ eyebrow. "I mean, how many times do we have to hear about some kid sneaking a firearm into schools before we actually do something about it? It's like no one values safety anymore. But, I get it. Some people think metal detectors are expensive. Pfft, What price can you put on safety, my dear @@leader@@? Plus, think about all the cool sound effects the metal detectors make. Who doesn't love that?"
Effect: students are forced to strip down at the slightest buzz

Option 2: "Wait a sec, so only those attending public schools get a shot at going through metal detectors?" questions @@randomname@@, a concerned parent oddly scanning your office. "That's just cruel and unusual punishment for everyone else! Why not mandate detectors for every school, especially the fancy-schmancy private ones? Hey, while you're at it, why not make the teachers go through them too? Can't risk any weapons sneaking in, right? I mean, my kid is already wearing a bulletproof vest, so better safe than sorry!" @@he@@ states with a suspiciously L-shaped object poking out of @@his@@ kid's bag.
Effect: students and school employees everywhere are subjected to intense scrutiny of even the slightest metal

Option 3: "Oh my god! I'm so done with these stories of gun violence!" exclaims @@randomname@@, a vocal anti-gun advocate. "Why do civilians even need guns? If we just ban them, we won't need metal detectors at schools." @@he@@ says, while dramatically hanging an anti-gun poster on your office wall, accidentally knocking over a potted plant. "Oops. But seriously, let's make @@name@@ gun-free... and plant-friendly too."
Effect: all gun-owning residents are required to have their handy dandy atomic blaster confiscated

Validity: Smoking must be legal
Option 4a: As @@randommalename@@ chomped on his cigar and blasted a rogue bottle on your desk, he quipped, "Guns? Pfft! I had a whole arsenal of those bad boys back in my day. Believe me, if anyone knows the value of being heavily armed, it's yours truly." He paused for a thoughtful moment, then continued with a grin, "And let's be honest, as long as those kids ain't starting a full-blown War, why not let 'em play with their metal toys?"
Effect: school fights turn into deadly shoot-outs

Validity: Smoking is illegal
Option 4b: As @@randommalename@@ chomped on his toothpick and blasted a rogue bottle on your desk, he quipped, "Guns? Pfft! I had a whole arsenal of those bad boys back in my day. Believe me, if anyone knows the value of being heavily armed, it's yours truly." He paused for a thoughtful moment, then continued with a grin, "And let's be honest, as long as those kids ain't starting a full-blown War, why not let 'em play with their metal toys?"
Effect: school fights turn into deadly shoot-outs

Title: Got Metal?

Description: After high school student @@randomnamefemale@@ was spotted with a 9MM Pistol by a fellow classmate, many start to question whether metal detectors should be utilized in public school buildings.

Validity: Charter and Private Schools must exist, Gun use must be legal to civilians and Firearm use among minors is forbidden

Option 1: "I knew something like this would happen," says @@randomname@@, head of the @@demonymadjective@@ Board of Public School Safety with an arrogant expression. "With all these reports of teenagers getting their hands on a firearm without their parents knowledge, it was only a matter of time. I propose dear @@leader@@ that every public school be required to have well functioning state of the art metal detectors."
Effect: students are forced to strip down at the slightest buzz

Option 2: "So just public schools get this?" questions @@randomfemalename@@, your Secretary of Safety and Education. "What about private and charter schools? Shouldn't they also receive mandated metal detectors?" Questioning while sending her kid to the school bus with a hidden bullet proof vest. "Also while you're at it, make the teachers and school personnel also have to pass the detectors. No such thing as being too safe."
Effect: students and school employees everywhere are subjected to intense scrutiny of even the slightest metal

Option 3: "You know what, I'm sick and tired of all these stories and reports of gun this gun that, this person shot this, this person was seen with such and such weapon!" cries @@randomname@@, a notable member of the anti-gun organization. "We wouldn't need metal detectors in the school system to begin with if guns were banned from civilians, it's simple logic." @@HE@@ affirms, while putting up a big anti-gun poster on your office wall.
Effect: all gun owning residents are required to have their handy dandy atomic blaster confiscated

Validity: Smoking must be legal
Option 4a: "Who cares if some kid was caught with a gun, back in my day I had a dozen of them bad boys." counters @@randommalename@@ while smoking a cigar shooting glass bottles on your desk. "As long as she ain't shootin no body I see no reason why that there young girl can't have a little gun of her own."
Effect: school fights turn into deadly shoot-outs

Validity: Smoking is illegal
Option 4b: "Who cares if some kid was caught with a gun, back in my day I had a dozen of them bad boys." counters @@randommalename@@ with a toothpick in mouth shooting glass bottles on your desk. "As long as she ain't shootin no body I see no reason why that there young girl can't have a little gun of her own."
Effect: school fights turn into deadly shoot-outs

[Verdant Haven]

Description: After high school student @@randomnamefemale@@ was spotted with a 2MM Pistol by a fellow classmate, many start to question whether metal detectors should be utilized in public school buildings.

A "2mm" pistol doesn't make a lot of sense - outside of perhaps some bizarre novelty items, such a thing doesn't really exist. The smallest standard caliber is double that - .17 (4mm), while a bb gun is slightly larger at 4.5mm (and isn't a firearm). If you want a common metric pistol caliber, 9mm would make the most sense. Were you thinking perhaps of a .22? That's super common, and would be the equivalent of a 5.6mm, but it would be unusual to refer to it as such for a handgun.

Honestly, I don't think the caliber truly matters to the issue, so would suggest just removing it. A student was spotted with a pistol - that's what matters.

Validity: Nations with high youth rebellion
Option 1: "I knew something like this was bound to happen." says @@randomfemalename@@, head of the @@demonym@@ board of public school safety with an arrogant expression. "With all these reports of teenagers and even young children getting their hands on a firearm without their parents knowledge, it was only a matter of time before we caught one in the schools. I propose dear @@leader@@ that every public school within @@nation@@ be required to have well functioning state of the art metal detectors." @@she@@ spouts while struggling to load in a metal detector through your office.
Effect: students are forced to strip down at the slightest buzz

Does high youth rebellion equate to frequent illicit youth usage of firearms? It could, but seems oddly specific. It would feel a little less "on the nose" if the reports were more about frequent teenage criminality in general, leading to weapons coming in to schools.

Why does this individual's gender matter? School board members are both male and female.

I would drop the second dialogue tag, or blend it with the first. I feel like the "arrogant expression" part is a signal term against the speaker's position (it informs the issue recipient that this choice is "wrong"), so perhaps that should be dropped and the tags combined - "say @@RANDOMNAME@@, the head the of @@DEMONYM@@ public school safety board, as @@HE@@ attempts to install a metal detector in your office" (or whatever similar construction you like).

Validity: Nations with low youth rebellion
Option 1b: "I had a feeling this was going to happen." says @@randomfemalename@@, head of the @@demonym@@ board of public school safety with an arrogant expression. "Teens and young kids these days are way too nice and obedient, so much so it made me wonder what they were doing behind their parents back and now we know, using firearms below age. I propose dear @@leader@@ that every public school within @@nation@@ be required to have well functioning state of the art metal detectors." @@she@@ spouts while struggling to load in a metal detector through your office.
Effect: students are forced to strip down at the slightest buzz

Same comments regarding the dialogue tags and signal terms as above. Same comment regarding gender.

Option 2: "So just public schools get this?" questions @@randomname@@, your secretary of safety and education. "What about private and charter schools? Shouldn't they also receive mandated metal detectors." adding on while sending @@his@@/@@her@@ kid to the school bus with a helmet, knee and elbow pads along with a hidden bullet proof vest. "Also while you're at it, make the teachers and school personnel also have to pass the detectors. No such thing as being too safe."
Effect: students and school employees everywhere are subjected to intense scrutiny of even the slightest metal

I don't have an issue number for reference, but I feel like there may be issues out there that relate to the existence of private and charter schools. It's worth looking in to, at least, whether or not there might be situations where those types of school either don't exist, or exist exclusively, making this dichotomy null. More significant than that I think though is that this feels like basically the same result as the above - schools have metal detectors, searches are invasive. To make it a bit different, perhaps instead of expanding it from one school type to another, it should expand from one youth-oriented location to another. "Those kid are so out of control! We need to search them at every movie theater, skating rink, and discotheque in @@NAME@@ Kids can't be trusted!" That sort of deal.

Option 3: "You know what, I'm sick and tired of all these stories and reports of gun this gun that, this person shot this, this person was seen with such and such weapon!" cries @@randomname@@, a notable member of the anti-gun organization and participant of the anti-firearm protest. "We wouldn't need metal detectors in the school system to begin with if guns were banned from civilians, it's simple logic." He affirms, while putting up a big anti-gun poster on your office wall.
Effect: all gun owning residents are required to have their handy dandy atomic blaster confiscated

The dialogue tag is a bit long here. Being a member of an anti-gun organization is probably sufficient, and suggests the other activities (especially since some nations have outlawed protesting). Also, the double dialogue tag thing is rearing its head again - that makes it very hard to read. Combine!

Validity: Smoking must be legal
Option 4: "Who cares if some kid was caught with a gun, back in my day I had a dozen of them bad boys." counters @@randommalename@@, while smoking a cigar shooting glass bottles on your desk. "As long as @@she@@ isn't shotin no body I see no reasin why that there young girl can't have a little gun of her own."
Effect: kids are daring each other to perform Russian roulette

I get the choice to use the cigar for effect, and thus require smoking to be legal, but I think you rob yourself of a fun option for a reason that is totally unrelated to the issue. Drop the smoking thing and maybe have him chewing on a straw. That way everybody can enjoy, and have access to, this additional choice.

[Socio Polor]

A "2mm" pistol doesn't make a lot of sense - outside of perhaps some bizarre novelty items, such a thing doesn't really exist. The smallest standard caliber is double that - .17 (4mm), while a bb gun is slightly larger at 4.5mm (and isn't a firearm). If you want a common metric pistol caliber, 9mm would make the most sense. Were you thinking perhaps of a .22? That's super common, and would be the equivalent of a 5.6mm, but it would be unusual to refer to it as such for a handgun.

Honestly, I don't think the caliber truly matters to the issue, so would suggest just removing it. A student was spotted with a pistol - that's what matters.

Thanks for informing me on this. My knowledge on various guns, their features and size aspects is subpar at best. I'll definitely fix this.

Does high youth rebellion equate to frequent illicit youth usage of firearms? It could, but seems oddly specific. It would feel a little less "on the nose" if the reports were more about frequent teenage criminality in general, leading to weapons coming in to schools.

I feel like for this type of issue, it's best to be as specific as possible. They're other issues that deal with criminal activity among the youth so for this issue I wanted to mainly talk about the idea of schools implementing metal detectors sense the school I went to did it, and a girl at said school was caught with a weapon on her. So in a way you can say this issue is inspired by that incident.

Why does this individual's gender matter? School board members are both male and female.

Eh, I just felt like specifying it.

I would drop the second dialogue tag, or blend it with the first.

It's very common in issues for options to have two dialogue tags

I feel like the "arrogant expression" part is a signal term against the speaker's position (it informs the issue recipient that this choice is "wrong"),

Not necessarily. The "arrogant expression" part just provides context into what type of person @@randomfemalename@@ (the board director) is. This is also fairly common in issues and a must imo to give issues a story type of feel. Though if it raises other eyebrows I'll alter it.

I don't have an issue number for reference, but I feel like there may be issues out there that relate to the existence of private and charter schools. It's worth looking in to, at least, whether or not there might be situations where those types of school either don't exist, or exist exclusively, making this dichotomy null. More significant than that I think though is that this feels like basically the same result as the above - schools have metal detectors, searches are invasive. To make it a bit different, perhaps instead of expanding it from one school type to another, it should expand from one youth-oriented location to another. "Those kid are so out of control! We need to search them at every movie theater, skating rink, and discotheque in @@NAME@@ Kids can't be trusted!" That sort of deal.

Hmm, you have a point. I'll be sure to look into this.

Being a member of an anti-gun organization is probably sufficient, and suggests the other activities (especially since some nations have outlawed protesting).

I'll fix this.

I get the choice to use the cigar for effect, and thus require smoking to be legal, but I think you rob yourself of a fun option for a reason that is totally unrelated to the issue. Drop the smoking thing and maybe have him chewing on a straw. That way everybody can enjoy, and have access to, this additional choice.

Oops, forgot to add the 'Option 4b' for nations who banned smoking. Thanks for pointing that out.

[Socio Polor]

Draft has been updated, still thinking on how to go about altering option two though.

[Australian rePublic]

What are charter schools?

[Socio Polor]

What are charter schools?

Charter Schools are schools that receive funding from the government. They're similar to state/public schools, but just operate independently of each other. Some Charter Schools may even form their own organizations or unions with other charter schools

[Australian rePublic]

I see. This issue is a bit long. See if you can cut it down a bit

[Socio Polor]

I see. This issue is a bit long. See if you can cut it down a bit

In what areas particular?

[Australian rePublic]

I see. This issue is a bit long. See if you can cut it down a bit

In what areas particular?

The options. Maybe cut out a sentence from each

[Socio Polor]

In what areas particular?

The options. Maybe cut out a sentence from each

I'll see to it. Thanks for the feedback

[Australian rePublic]

The options. Maybe cut out a sentence from each

I'll see to it. Thanks for the feedback

You're Welcome!

[Socio Polor]

Updated

[Baggieland]

I think option 4 doesn't need the smoking doppelganger. You're going to a lot of trouble just to have this guy smoking. Just shooting bottles is enough.

Also, a lot of your macros are wrong. @@NAME@@ not @@ NATION@@. @@HIS@@ not @@HIS/HER@@. @@HE@@ not @@he/she@@.

[Socio Polor]

I think option 4 doesn't need the smoking doppelganger. You're going to a lot of trouble just to have this guy smoking. Just shooting bottles is enough.

Also, a lot of your macros are wrong. @@NAME@@ not @@ NATION@@. @@HIS@@ not @@HIS/HER@@. @@HE@@ not @@he/she@@.

The @@HIS/HER@@ Macro is just there because I haven't specified the gender of the characters and I found it tricky organizing sentences without using gender pronouns. I forgot it's @@NAME@@. Thanks for the feedback

[Socio Polor]

I think option 4 doesn't need the smoking doppelganger. You're going to a lot of trouble just to have this guy smoking. Just shooting bottles is enough.

You think so? I actually like it that way cause I feel the smoking aspect fit the guy's character. I wanted him to have that old southern wild west type feel

[Australian rePublic]

Option 4. You can't assume that gum's legal

[Socio Polor]

Option 4. You can't assume that gum's legal

WHO BANS GUM, WHO DOES THAT, GUM IS LIFE

More seriously, I'll just change it to toothpick

[Australian rePublic]

Option 4. You can't assume that gum's legal

WHO BANS GUM, WHO DOES THAT, GUM IS LIFE

More seriously, I'll just change it to toothpick

689
Your title has inspired me to write a new issue with a parody title- "We should start defecating!"

[Socio Polor]

WHO BANS GUM, WHO DOES THAT, GUM IS LIFE

More seriously, I'll just change it to toothpick

689
Your title has inspired me to write a new issue with a parody title- "We should start defecating!"

Really!? I'm not very creative when it comes to titles. But thanks anyways and Good Luck

[Australian rePublic]

689
Your title has inspired me to write a new issue with a parody title- "We should start defecating!"

Really!? I'm not very creative when it comes to titles. But thanks anyways and Good Luck

I was joking. I ain't stealing your title. Also, Singapore banned gum. For a title, how about "Give it a shot"

[Socio Polor]

Really!? I'm not very creative when it comes to titles. But thanks anyways and Good Luck

I was joking. I ain't stealing your title. Also, Singapore banned gum. For a title, how about "Give it a shot"

Oh. "Give it a shot" hmmm

[Socio Polor]

Issue Updated. I decided to leave option 2 as it is and simply added charter and private schools to the validity list

[Socio Polor]

Changed the title to "Got Metal." Let's see who gets it

[Far Easter Republic]

"Bussian Roulette" needs to be made "Russian Roulette"

[Australian rePublic]

Changed the title to "Got Metal." Let's see who gets it

I think that there's already an Issue Called "Got Milk" and this would be too simila... on further inspection, there doesn't seem to be. I could have sworn there was. Carry on...