TITLE:
Hazed and Confused
VALIDITY:
Did not ban alcohol, did not ban fraternities in Fraternity Furor
DESCRIPTION:
The deaths of two Mu Alpha Xi pledges at @@CAPITAL@@ University has triggered a serious debate about whether hazing should be classified as a crime.
OPTION 1
"Have you seen the things on this report?" asks your visibly disgusted Minister of Justice. "Students were forced to go to the grocery store, buy cabbages, name them, and then raise the cabbages as though they were their children. Then they were blindfolded and forced to stand in traffic while being pelted with their cabbage children! At least one @@DEMONYM@@ student has died every year during hazings for the past three decades. We must criminalize hazing!"
OUTCOME:
college fraternity brothers return from study abroad programs with unexplained injuries
OPTION 2
"I became the man I am today thanks to getting good ol' fashioned hazing," writes one of your preferred college drinking buddies in an e-mail. "The people trying to criminalize 'hazing' would probably criminalize masculinity too, if you gave them the chance. You know what would be funny, and also great for society? You should make hazing mandatory for all first-year college students. Just think how tough our nation would become."
OUTCOME:
fraternity rituals across the nation usually take place in dark basements
OPTION 3
"You've got us all wrong, we didn't do nothing to these kids," insist Chad and Brad, the co-presidents of Mu Alpha Xi at @@CAPITAL@@ University. "Those idiots were standing in the middle of traffic, and we threw things at them to encourage them to run for safety. Why does everyone always assume the worst about fraternities? Maybe if you trusted us this wouldn't happen. Give us the benefit of the doubt...or at least a right to have our secret rituals remain secret. Give us our confidentiality! We'll let you know whenever things go wrong. We're responsible..."
OUTCOME:
sixteen students at @@CAPITAL@@ University have "spontaneously combusted" while "making s'mores"
OPTION 4
"As a compromise in this crazy debate, why not just require fraternities and sororities to have more supervision?" writes an impassioned parent in @@NAME@@ Today. "Until they're paying their own bills, I think our children need to be watched. Personally, I haven't been able to be with my son 24/7 since he left for college, but I've bugged his room and constantly track his whereabouts. It works wonders!"
OUTCOME:
the government sponsors sorority webcam feeds