but I still thought this would be lighthearted enough to riff off of personal preferences.
Also, finally getting a followup to banning plastic bags worked on.
ed: Oh yeah and I couldn't think of any effect lines...
Title: Heavy Baggage
The Issue: Despite banning plastic bags, there are still several environmental consequences to their alternatives, and your Planning Minister has arranged for you to discuss what may be the best material to promote.
Validity: Followup to #261.1
Option 1: "Cloth bags are the way to go," suggests @@RANDOMNAME@@, resting a pile of cloth bags onto your desk. "They're highly reusable, yet biodegradable, and they're efficient at carrying things around. If something breaks, just get it stitched. Clearly this is the way to go, unlike those sully paper bags that kill trees, suck on water, and tear instantly."
Option 2: "He-he-hey! I'll have you know that paper bags are much better than cloth," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, laying several paper bags onto the cloth ones. "You can reuse 'em for lunches, tools, and, if you're careful, even at the store again! The best part is you can easily get more if you lose 'em, without worrying about the massive cotton plantations and energy costs of cloth bags."
Option 3: "Pfft, if it's energy and farmland you're worrying about, then look no further," tisks @@RANDOMNAME@@, laying down polypropylene bags beside the others. "These reusable plastic bags have all the benefits of cloth bags with none of the downsides. Are they plastic? Sure. But you save on energy, water, the carbon footprint; everything. As long as people reuse them as much as possible, of course."
Option 4: "What we really should do is invest in baskets!" announces basket-weaver @@RANDOMNAME@@, proudly setting a large, fashionable basket full of various fruits onto the heaping bag pile. "They may take a ton of resources to make, but they're durable, they're large, they're hard to miss, and they have the most heart put into them! Subsidize the basket weaving industry, and I'll make millions — of baskets, I mean."
Option 5: "What's wrong with those old plastic bags?" argues your janitor as @@HE@@ takes the bags and basket off your desk. "Let the cat out of the bag. None of the alternatives are any better than the old plastic bags that were left holding the bag... you get what I mean. Lift this silly ban and let us go back to the way things were!"
Option 6: "There's only one thing we can do," suggests your Minister of Environmental Protection, sitting idly in the dark corner of your office. "Ban all bags. Most people still have arms, you know."
