[Title] Here's The Catch
[Description] Long ago, @@NAME@@ and the small yet formidable city-state of Didopolis fought a war that eventually ground to a halt and concluded without a formal peace treaty. Relations have improved steadily over time and trade has been flourishing for decades. However, a small flotilla of Didopolitan and @@DEMONYM@@ fishing vessels recently clashed over territorial disputes, and violence ensued.
[Validity] All
[Option] "Those damn Didopolitans were fishing in our area and stealing our catch!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, a sailor from the Aurora, one of the @@DEMONYM@@ trawlers involved in the incident. "Ramming them was the only way to get them to back off. So what if some of them almost drowned, we're still technically at war aren't we? You should be mobilising the Navy to help protect our interests. The boys and I also deserve some recognition for our actions, don't you think?"
[Effect] naval officers bemoan getting stuck on "crab pot duty"
[Option] "No, no, no! This just won't do at all," cries @@RANDOMNAME@@, your exasperated Minister for Foreign Affairs. "This absolutely thuggish behaviour threatens to throw away the years of hard work my predecessors and I put into building strong relations with Didopolis. We should publicly reprimand our sailors involved in the incident, and we should finally sign a formal peace treaty so that brutes like these can't use it as an excuse for their wanton aggression. Perhaps we should even throw in some of those fish as a sign of good-will?"
[Effect] recent proclamations of peace, love and friendship smell rather fishy
[Option] "Now hang on just a blubber-loving minute. The Didopolitans started it! This wouldn't have happened had our fishermen been adequately equipped to stop such incidents occurring in the first place." complains Captain-turned-Undersecretary for Fisheries and Sea Shanties, Arnold Trout. "I've heard the Navy has stockpiles of unused hardware just lying around. Give the all clear, @@LEADER@@, and we can get to work. Those pesky Didopolitans will have to think twice before trying to take our catch again! Aharr!"
[Effect] wayward fishermen end up getting trapped in a very real game of Minesweeper
Changelog - Updated 23/02/19
- This draft has now been submitted.
[Title] Didopolis Delenda Est!
[Description] Thousands of years ago, @@CAPITAL@@ and the ancient city-state of Didopolis fought a succession of bitter wars, which eventually led to the total destruction of the latter. It has now been brought to your attention that no peace treaty was ever signed between the two states, meaning that by some absurd technicality, @@NAME@@ and the modern city-state of Didopolis are still technically at war. What has been an otherwise very slow and uneventful day has suddenly turned into a full-on frenzy in the War Room.
[Validity] All
[Option] "Oh deary me, what a peculiar kerfuffle we've gotten ourselves into..." Remarks your bewildered Minister for Foreign Affairs, "There's no need to worry, @@LEADER@@. I can just make a call to my counter-part over in Didopolis and we can settle this little technicality without much fuss. Besides, I'm sure they'll be very grateful."
[Effect] @@LEADER@@ isn't one to hold a grudge
[Option] "Are you serious? We shouldn't be throwing away such a rich opportunity for conquest!" Shouts the disturbingly enthusiastic four-star General @@RANDOMNAME@@, salivating as @@HE@@ grabs you tightly by your shoulders, aggressively pushing your Minister of Foreign Affairs aside. "Didopolis has a huge wealth of untapped oil and rare earth minerals just ripe for the taking. How often do we get presented such a chance without having to go through the tedious process of producing a casus belli first? I say we strike now!"
[Effect] military strategists often visit the nation's archives in order to find old scores to settle
[Option] "Settle down, there isn't any need to be so extreme. I believe this presents us with an even grander opportunity to stir up patriotic sentiment." Calmly remarks your eccentric Propaganda Minister, using a spotted handkerchief to clean the General's spittle off your shirt. "We can turn this quite frankly drab episode of our long-forgotten past into a gold mine of pride for one's nation and heritage. Imagine it, @@LEADER@@: sportsmen and women eager to settle the score against the ancient enemy at international competitions, patriotic songs and performances depicting the heroism of our great ancestors...I can already feel the lump in my throat, and mountains of @@CURRENCY@@ filling our coffers from the huge boost in tourism this could bring. Just let me and my subordinates get to work on this story, and this reinvigorated rivalry will become the talk of @@REGION@@!"
[Effect] even the most mundane diplomatic faux pas is turned into a piece of epic poetry
[Option] "You fools, can't you see? This is a sign from the Gods of old!" raves the rather sickly looking Minister of Antiquities, who has suddenly appeared in the doorway, clutching a rather large and intimidating slab of stone close to his chest. "When our ancient fore-bearers destroyed the accursed city, they intended for it to remain so. Yet Didopolis stands again once more; this cannot be allowed, potential profits be damned! @@LEADER@@, I say unto you: Didopolis Delenda Est!" he points an eerily frail finger at you with a wide-eyed stare as he is dragged away by your guards.
[Validity] Must have a high level of Religiousness
[Effect] long-held superstitions form the basis of @@NAME@@'s hyper-aggressive foreign policy
This draft was inspired by the story of modern-day Rome and Carthage signing a treaty on February 5th, 1985 to officially end the Third Punic War (149-146 BC). I found the story so fascinating and charming, that it inspired me to write this issue, because I felt it'd be something suitable for the whimsical charm that NationStates has, so of course this issue is meant to be a very silly one.
From a brief search of the full list of NS Issues, I couldn't find anything similar, and if there is I'll be extremely gutted because I'm very fond of what I just came up with.
The title is of course a direct reference to the phrase "Carthago Delenda Est.", and the city-state of Didopolis is meant to be a stand-in for Carthage, making reference to Dido herself. I decided to do that because none of the current NPC nations seemed suitable, and I imagined establishing capital cities for any of them wouldn't be acceptable, but let me know what you think.
[Title] The War That Time Forgot
[Description] During the Great @@REGION@@ War, @@NATION@@ and the small yet formidable city-state of Didopolis were on opposing sides. The cold attitude between both nations has mostly thawed since then, with most unaware it was ever any different, however it has recently come back into the spotlight after a small flotilla of Didopolitan fishing vessels deliberately collided with @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ fishermen out at sea. The justification? They claim that both states are still technically at war, which an unsuccessful search in the nation's archives for any form of peace treaty has proven to be true. Before you have time to even process this information, a gaggle of your closest advisers have rushed you off to the War Room.
[Validity] All
[Option] "Oh deary me, what a peculiar kerfuffle we've gotten ourselves into..." Remarks your bewildered Minister for Foreign Affairs, "but there's no need to panic! In fact, this presents us the perfect opportunity to demonstrate our peace-loving nature. Let me reach out to my counterpart in Didopolis and set things straight: we can sign an actual peace treaty, one that expresses a desire for friendship and mutual cooperation. I'm sure we can also throw in some fish to placate their fishermen. Everybody wins!"
[Effect] recent proclamations of peace, love and friendship smell rather fishy
[Option] "Are you serious? We shouldn't be humouring such a blatantly unprovoked attack on our people!" Shouts the enraged Rear Admiral @@RANDOMNAME@@, mouth frothing as @@HE@@ grabs you tightly by your shoulders, aggressively pushing your Minister of Foreign Affairs aside. "If they want to treat this conflict as still ongoing, then let them have it! Just say the word, and I'll dispatch the fleet to deal with these agitators! We'll see who comes running for a peace treaty then."
[Effect] age-old conflicts are still ongoing despite nobody being quite sure what they were fighting for to begin with
[Option] "Now now, there isn't any need to be so extreme. I believe this presents us with an even grander opportunity to stir up patriotic sentiment." Calmly remarks your eccentric Propaganda Minister, using a spotted handkerchief to clean the Rear Admiral's spittle off your shirt. "We can turn this quite frankly minor incident into a gold mine of pride for one's nation and people. Imagine it, @@LEADER@@: patriotic songs and epic dramas commemorating the bravery of our brave fishermen and women in the face of the barbaric Didopolitan aggressors...I can already feel the lump in my throat. Just let me and my subordinates get to work, and this reinvigorated rivalry will become the talk of @@REGION@@!"
[Effect] even the most mundane diplomatic incident is turned into a piece of epic poetry
[Option] "Now hang on just a blubber-loving minute - what does any of that do to help our brave seamen and women who have just been attacked?" Complains Captain-turned-Undersecretary for Fisheries and Sea Shanties, Arnold Trout. "It seems to me that you city-folk once again are missing the real issues effecting the people who, need I remind you, are the lifeblood of this economy. This wouldn't have happened if our sailors were able to adequately defend themselves; lets kit out all our fishing vessels with some of that fancy hardware the Navy has lying around. That way, any foreign fishermen will think twice before trying to pinch our catch! Aharrr!"
[Validity] Must have a large fishing industry
[Effect] the nation's maritime borders are marked on nautical charts with the warning "here there be trigger-happy fools"
So based on the feedback I was given I've decided to go with a complete re-write of the issue, starting this one as a brand-new first draft, though I'll keep the original in the OP for posterity. I've decided to give Candlewhisper's suggestion of fishing boats as a framing device a try: I'm unsure as to whether I've done a good job with this, as I wanted to keep the original premise as the focus while also striking a balance with the fact that fishing was involved. I also decided to keep Didopolis, as a nod to the original draft and as a new NPC nation which could explain why it was easily forgotten and therefore why a war is still technically ongoing in the first place. I'm also worried the draft is a bit wordy.
The title is not an intentional reference to The Land That Time Forgot, I just liked the ring to it.
"Great @@REGION@@ War" is established already in Issue #378, and I took it as part of the framing device based on the examples given by Bears Armed and Trotterdam of warring states being forgotten / left out of peace agreements.
"Arnold Trout" in the last option is meant to be a reference to Archibald Haddock. Speaking of the last option, I'm not sure about the effect line: my other idea was "foreign fishermen find themselves trapped in a very real game of Minesweeper" but I didn't know whether that would work either.
As always, any and all feedback is appreciated. :)
[Title] The War That Time Forgot
[Description] Long ago, @@NAME@@ and the small yet formidable city-state of Didopolis fought a war that eventually ground to a halt and concluded without a formal peace treaty. Relations have improved steadily over time and trade has been flourishing for decades. However, a small flotilla of Didopolitan and @@DEMONYM@@ fishing vessels recently clashed over territorial disputes, and violence ensued.
[Validity] All
[Option] "Those damn Didopolitan's were fishing in our area and stealing our catch!" Shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, a sailor from the S.S. Aurora, one of the @@DEMONYM@@ trawlers involved in the incident. "Ramming them was the only way to get them to back off. So what if some of them almost drowned, we're still technically at war aren't we? You should be mobilising the Navy to help protect our interests. The boys and I also deserve some recognition for our actions, don't you think?"
[Effect] naval officers bemoan getting stuck on "crab pot duty"
[Option] "No, no, no! This just won't do at all." Cries your exacerbated Minister for Foreign Affairs, "This absolutely thuggish behaviour threatens to throw away the years of hard work my predecessors and I put into building strong relations with Didopolis. We should publicly reprimand our sailors involved in the incident, and we should finally sign a formal peace treaty so that brutes like these can't use it as an excuse for their wanton aggression. Perhaps we should even throw in some of those fish as a sign of good-will?"
[Effect] recent proclamations of peace, love and friendship smell rather fishy
[Option] "Now hang on just a blubber-loving minute. The Didopolitan's started it! This wouldn't have happened had our fishermen been adequately equipped to stop such incidents occurring in the first place." Complains Captain-turned-Undersecretary for Fisheries and Sea Shanties, Arnold Trout. "I've seen the Navy's stockpile of unused mines. Why not let me and the boys take some off their hands? That way, those pesky Didopolitan's will have to think twice before trying to take our catch again! Aharr!"
[Effect] foreign fishermen can end up getting trapped in a very real game of Minesweeper
[Title] Here's The Catch
[Description] Long ago, @@NAME@@ and the small yet formidable city-state of Didopolis fought a war that eventually ground to a halt and concluded without a formal peace treaty. Relations have improved steadily over time and trade has been flourishing for decades. However, a small flotilla of Didopolitan and @@DEMONYM@@ fishing vessels recently clashed over territorial disputes, and violence ensued.
[Validity] All
[Option] "Those damn Didopolitan's were fishing in our area and stealing our catch!" Shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, a sailor from the S.S. Aurora, one of the @@DEMONYM@@ trawlers involved in the incident. "Ramming them was the only way to get them to back off. So what if some of them almost drowned, we're still technically at war aren't we? You should be mobilising the Navy to help protect our interests. The boys and I also deserve some recognition for our actions, don't you think?"
[Effect] naval officers bemoan getting stuck on "crab pot duty"
[Option] "No, no, no! This just won't do at all." Cries @@RANDOMNAME@@, your exacerbated Minister for Foreign Affairs, "This absolutely thuggish behaviour threatens to throw away the years of hard work my predecessors and I put into building strong relations with Didopolis. We should publicly reprimand our sailors involved in the incident, and we should finally sign a formal peace treaty so that brutes like these can't use it as an excuse for their wanton aggression. Perhaps we should even throw in some of those fish as a sign of good-will?"
[Effect] recent proclamations of peace, love and friendship smell rather fishy
[Option] "Now hang on just a blubber-loving minute. The Didopolitan's started it! This wouldn't have happened had our fishermen been adequately equipped to stop such incidents occurring in the first place." Complains Captain-turned-Undersecretary for Fisheries and Sea Shanties, Arnold Trout. "I've heard the Navy has stockpiles of unused hardware just lying around. Give the all clear, @@LEADER@@, and we can get to work. Those pesky Didopolitan's will have to think twice before trying to take our catch again! Aharr!"
[Effect] wayward fishermen end up getting trapped in a very real game of Minesweeper