[SUBMITTED] The Love of the People

[Baggieland]

Here's another one. I'm not too sure about this one, it's a bit weird, but then again it was inspired by all things North Korean, and that's a weird place! Still, I'll put it in GI and see what you guys think of it.

[TITLE] The Love of the People

[DESCRIPTION] It's been a busy day at the office with many issues requiring your careful consideration and wisdom. However, as you read through another one, you start to feel dizzy and collapse on the floor. As you lay there, your intern administers the kiss of life. Luckily, you make a full recovery and as you wipe the slobber from your mouth, you ponder what just happened.

[VALIDITY] only for psychotic dictatorships, allows elderly

[OPTION] "You can't leave us @@LEADER@@, we need you!" wails your secretary, opening the window to show you the people's reaction of when word got out of your collapse. "Look, all over @@CAPITAL@@ the citizenry have rushed to the nearest statue of you and lain down, prostrate at your feet, tears in their eyes. Oh supreme leader, for without you, we are nothing. If your blood is not as healthy as it used to be, then I will gladly donate all my blood and sacrifice myself for you!"

[EFFECT] blood-banks are no longer dead-careful in the amount they extract

[OPTION] "This has to be the work of agents from The United Federation; they must have poisoned your food or drink earlier," proclaims your ageing Finance Minister, @@RANDOMNAME@@, as @@HE@@ pokes you with @@HIS@@ walking-stick to make sure you're feeling better. "Those United Federation mongrels are nothing but evil. I may be old, but give me a gun @@LEADER@@ and I will kill as many of them as I can!"

[EFFECT] the nation's defence is in the hands of 'Dad's Army'

[OPTION] "We need to look closer to home to find out who tried to poison you @@LEADER@@," states @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Head of Security. "I've been watching @@RANDOMNAME(1) for some time now. @@HIS(1)@@ loyalty is very much in question; just last week when you were addressing the nation, instead of cheering and clapping like everyone else – @@HE(1)@@ was sleeping! Highly suspicious. There's an anti-aircraft gun we haven't tried out yet, I think we've just found a target."

[EFFECT] sleeping on the job gets you fired

[OPTION] "Don't be such a big baby!" bellows your over-bearing uncle. "I can't believe what I'm seeing here: you just felt dizzy for a few seconds and all this bawling and commotion breaks out. Stop being such a pansy, get back in your chair and get back to running the country – you no good for nothing work-shy lay-about! Be an example to the people that no matter how sick you may be, you're never too ill to work."

[EFFECT] being worked to death is no longer just a phrase

[TITLE] The Love of the People

[DESCRIPTION] It's been a busy day at the office with many issues requiring your careful consideration and wisdom. However, as you read through another one, you suddenly faint and collapse on the floor. Your quick-thinking intern administers the kiss of life, and as your eyes open the intern pulls away – leaving a trail of drool around your lips. Luckily, you make a full recovery and as you wipe the slobber from your mouth, your inner-circle barge in to see what the commotion was about.

[VALIDITY] only for psychotic dictatorships, allows elderly

[OPTION] "You can't leave us @@LEADER@@, we need you!" wails your secretary, opening the window to show you the people's reaction of when word got out of your collapse. "Look, all over @@CAPITAL@@ the citizenry have rushed to the nearest statue of you and lain down, prostrate at your feet, tears in their eyes. Oh supreme leader, for without you, we are nothing. If your blood is not as healthy as it used to be, then I will gladly donate all my blood and sacrifice myself for you!"

[EFFECT] blood-banks are no longer dead-careful in the amount they extract

[OPTION] "This has to be the work of agents from The United Federation; they must have poisoned your food or drink earlier," proclaims your ageing Finance Minister, @@RANDOMNAME@@, as @@HE@@ pokes you with @@HIS@@ walking-stick to make sure you're feeling better. "Those United Federation mongrels are nothing but evil. I may be old, but give me a gun @@LEADER@@ and I will kill as many of them as I can!"

[EFFECT] the elderly have become the nation's front-line of defence

[OPTION] "We need to look closer to home to find out who tried to poison you @@LEADER@@," states @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Head of Security. "I've been watching @@RANDOMNAME(1) for some time now. @@HIS(1)@@ loyalty is very much in question; just last week when you were addressing the nation, instead of cheering and clapping like everyone else – @@HE(1)@@ was sleeping! Highly suspicious. There's an anti-aircraft gun we haven't tried out yet, I think we've just found a target."

[EFFECT] sleeping on the job gets you fired

[OPTION] "Don't be such a big baby!" bellows your over-bearing uncle. "I can't believe what I'm seeing here: you just felt dizzy for a few seconds and all this bawling and commotion breaks out. Stop being such a pansy, get back in your chair and get back to running the country – you no good for nothing work-shy lay-about! Be an example to the people that no matter how sick you may be, you're never too ill to work."

[EFFECT] being worked to death is an occupational hazard

[TITLE] The Love of the People

[DESCRIPTION] It's been a busy day at the office with many issues requiring your careful consideration and wisdom. However, as you read through another one, you suddenly faint and collapse on the floor. Luckily, your quick-thinking intern administers the kiss of life – your eyes open again and the intern pulls away, leaving a trail of drool around your lips. As you recover and wipe the slobber from your mouth, your inner-circle barge in to see what the commotion was about.

[VALIDITY] only for psychotic dictatorships, allows elderly

[OPTION] "You can't leave us @@LEADER@@, we need you!" wails your secretary, opening the window to show you the people's reaction of when word got out of your collapse. "Look, all over @@CAPITAL@@ the citizenry have rushed to the nearest statue of you and lain down, prostrate at your feet, tears in their eyes. Oh supreme leader, for without you, we are nothing. If your blood is not as healthy as it used to be, then I will gladly donate all my blood and sacrifice myself for you!"

[EFFECT] blood-banks are no longer dead-careful in the amount they extract

[OPTION] "This has to be the work of agents from The United Federation; they must have poisoned your food or drink earlier," proclaims your ageing Finance Minister, @@RANDOMNAME@@, as @@HE@@ pokes you with @@HIS@@ walking-stick to make sure you're feeling better. "Those United Federation mongrels are nothing but evil. I may be old, but give me a gun @@LEADER@@ and I will kill as many of them as I can!"

[EFFECT] the elderly have become the nation's front-line of defence

[OPTION] "We need to look closer to home to find out who tried to poison you @@LEADER@@," states @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Head of Security. "I've been watching @@RANDOMNAME(1) for some time now. @@HIS(1)@@ loyalty is very much in question; just last week when you were addressing the nation, instead of cheering and clapping like everyone else – @@HE(1)@@ was sleeping! Highly suspicious. There's an anti-aircraft gun we haven't tried out yet, I think we've just found a target."

[EFFECT] sleeping on the job gets you fired

[OPTION] "Don't be such a big baby!" bellows your over-bearing uncle. "I can't believe what I'm seeing here: you passed out for a few seconds and all this bawling and commotion breaks out. Stop being such a pansy, get in your chair and go back to running the country – you no good for nothing work-shy lay-about! Be an example to the people that no matter how sick you may be, you're never too ill to work."

[EFFECT] being worked to death is viewed as an occupational hazard

[The Free Joy State]

Interesting one, but I'd be worried about @@LEADER@@ feeling anything. Even dizzy.

Maybe open in a more unusual way. Something like.

Your eyes open as one of your interns pulls away, leaving a trail of drool around your lips. "@@LEADER@@, you're back with us! You just passed out cold. I had to give you the kiss of life. Poor thing; you've been working too hard. Just lie still. Don't move."

[Baggieland]

Interesting one, but I'd be worried about @@LEADER@@ feeling anything. Even dizzy.

Thanks for the input Joy. I know we can never assume things about leader, but surely feeling dizzy is okay? It's not like I'm assuming leader has cancer.

[The Free Joy State]

Interesting one, but I'd be worried about @@LEADER@@ feeling anything. Even dizzy.

Thanks for the input Joy. I know we can never assume things about leader, but surely feeling dizzy is okay? It's not like I'm assuming leader has cancer.

It's to do with saying what the character thinks, feels or decides. You can probably say the character has fainted (that's not a decision, feeling or thought). But saying they feel dizzy is probably a minor autonomy problem.

CWA has a useful reference guide to player autonomy that I've referred to before.

[Baggieland]

Thanks Joy, I changed 'dizzy' to 'faint' and took out leader 'pondering'. I had to find room for your 'trail of drool', so reworked the intro a bit to try and fit everything in!

[Far Tholk]

[EFFECT] the nation's defence is in the hands of 'Dad's Army'

Who is Dad here?

There's an anti-aircraft gun we haven't tried out yet, I think we've just found a target."

[EFFECT] sleeping on the job gets you fired

Literally.

[EFFECT] being worked to death is no longer just a phrase[/spoiler]

I would say it's "not just a phrase," to avoid assuming that it was before, especially since this is a psychotic dictatorship.

[Australian rePublic]

How do we know it's the blood that's at fault?

[Baggieland]

Who is Dad here?

It was a British TV sitcom from ages ago. If it's not that well known, I'll change it.

I would say it's "not just a phrase," to avoid assuming that it was before, especially since this is a psychotic dictatorship.

Fair enough, also changed.

How do we know it's the blood that's at fault?

She's a secretary, not a doctor.

I've incorporated those changes into the 2nd draft.

[Far Tholk]

Who is Dad here?

It was a British TV sitcom from ages ago. If it's not that well known, I'll change it.

It seems to have been before my time, and I'm not in the UK. I don't think I'm qualified to speak on how well-known it is, other than that I hadn't heard of it.

[Australian rePublic]

[

How do we know it's the blood that's at fault?

She's a secretary, not a doctor.

I've incorporated those changes into the 2nd draft.

So she's making assumptions. Hmmm... perhaps make this clearer

[The Free Joy State]

Who is Dad here?

It was a British TV sitcom from ages ago. If it's not that well known, I'll change it.

I got the Dad's Army reference

Maybe keep canvassing opinions?

I don't think everyone has to get it. If enough people get that it's a reference (even if they don't get what the reference is) then it could send people to google it.

I'm reminded of the "no-one puts baby in a corner" reference.

[Baggieland]

I got the Dad's Army reference

Maybe keep canvassing opinions?

I don't think everyone has to get it. If enough people get that it's a reference (even if they don't get what the reference is) then it could send people to google it.

I'm reminded of the "no-one puts baby in a corner" reference.

True, of course. TBH 'Dad's Army' isn't something that I'm that attached to. The new effect line still says pretty much the same thing.

[The Free Joy State]

I got the Dad's Army reference

Maybe keep canvassing opinions?

I don't think everyone has to get it. If enough people get that it's a reference (even if they don't get what the reference is) then it could send people to google it.

I'm reminded of the "no-one puts baby in a corner" reference.

True, of course. TBH 'Dad's Army' isn't something that I'm that attached to. The new effect line still says pretty much the same thing.

I missed that, somehow...

The new line works

[Baggieland]

2nd page bump.

I took out 'dizzy' from the last option and also did a bit of tidying up all round.

[Baggieland]

Putting this one on final call.

[Baggieland]

Submitted. Thanks everyone.

[Australian rePublic]

Even though you don't need the likes of me to wish you luck, I'll will wish you luck anyway, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it

[Baggieland]

Cheers.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

For the record, we've recently introduced processes to have staff issues be reviewed and/or rejected by the team, so you're wishes of good luck are once again appreciated and needed by all, Aussie!

[Australian rePublic]

For the record, we've recently introduced processes to have staff issues be reviewed and/or rejected by the team, so you're wishes of good luck are once again appreciated and needed by all, Aussie!

Doesn't that apply to all issues?

[The Free Joy State]

For the record, we've recently introduced processes to have staff issues be reviewed and/or rejected by the team, so you're wishes of good luck are once again appreciated and needed by all, Aussie!

Doesn't that apply to all issues?

Good luck wishes are always appreciated by everyone, Aussie.

But, whereas players issues will be usually initially be reviewed by whichever member(s) of the team is watching the submissions that day, our new process means that all staff issues will be reviewed and accepted or rejected by the entire team.

So the bar for staff drafts just got a little higher.

[Australian rePublic]

Doesn't that apply to all issues?

Good luck wishes are always appreciated by everyone, Aussie.

But, whereas players issues will be usually initially be reviewed by whichever member(s) of the team is watching the submissions that day, our new process means that all staff issues will be reviewed and accepted or rejected by the entire team.

So the bar for staff drafts just got a little higher.

Even more reason to require good luck!