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[DRAFT] Run and Tell

A place to spoil daily issues for those who haven't had them yet, snigger at typos, and discuss ideas for new ones.
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Frieden-und Freudenland
Minister
 
Posts: 2276
Founded: Jul 30, 2015
Left-wing Utopia

[DRAFT] Run and Tell

Postby Frieden-und Freudenland » Sat Jan 19, 2019 1:05 pm

[description]@@RANDOMNAME_1@@, a @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ citizen who had been imprisoned in a hard-labor camp for political dissent, had one day mysteriously disappeared from @@HIS_1@@ cell. But @@HE_1@@ emerged in Brancaland last month, making headlines with his memoir Toiling Like @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@: My Miserable Life In A @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Gulag, which became a bestseller. Commentators point out that @@HIS@@ book is a big success and it has turned the attention of the international community to the human rights abuses in @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ labor camps.

[validity]took option 2 for #878 or took option 2 for #475, must have prisons

[option]"That's why we should have executed that beast!" roars @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, an army general, punching a hole through a Brancalandian tabloid with @@HIS@@ clenched fist. "I don't understand why we spend our money to feed and clothe these traitors, when they should have forfeited their right to exist the moment they turned against their motherland. We don't need the half-hearted labor of these vermin - we can just kill them and re-purpose the old camps as training grounds for our glorious army!"
[effect]@@NAME@@ has rediscovered that dead men tell no tales
[policy]introduces capital punishment for nations that don't have it

[option]"Whoah, who says we don't need their labor?" exclaims @@RANDOMNAME_2@@, your Minister of Productivity, running into your room in @@HIS_2@@ jogging suit. "A considerable portion of our @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ industry depends on the cheap labor supplied by the prisoners in the camps. We can't just dispense with that. @@RANDOMNAME_1@@ says in that book that @@HE_1@@ escaped from the @@ANIMAL@@ Camp at nightfall, by taking advantage of the inattentiveness of the sleeping guards. If we deployed our police officers in these camps to keep order, they'd surely be doing a more important service than by idly sitting in their patrol cars."
[effect]daytime robberies are an increasingly common occurrence

[option]"We cannot allow this atrocity to continue!" moans @@RANDOMNAME@@, a human rights advocate from Brancaland, barging into your room after kicking two burly security guards in the groin. "Political prisoners all across @@NAME@@ live under horrendous conditions, working all round the clock and dying of exhaustion, exposure, hunger, or all of them at the same time. @@LEADER@@, you have to release all political prisoners immediately, or else we'll make sure you'll be served with a strongly-worded cease-and-desist letter from the World Assembly!"
[effect]evacuated labor camps are the new tourist attraction

[option]"Gosh, look at that, that book sold 5 million copies!" cries out your brother, reading the half-torn Brancalandian tabloid with interest. "Whoah, and if each book is sold for 20 @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@, and if we assume that this @@MAN@@ makes a 10% profit on that - uhm - hum - wow, @@HE_1@@ should be dirty rich right now. And @@HE_1@@ is not even a professional writer, right? Hey, I got an idea! Why not build our own team of writers to supply these sensation-seekers with a steady stream of sad stories from @@NAME@@? We already don't have a good international reputation, so we might as well make some money on it with some fake defectors!"
[effect]the number of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ defectors seeking asylum in Brancaland is rising
Last edited by Frieden-und Freudenland on Sat Jan 19, 2019 1:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
When I write, I don't have an accent.

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"Do I contradict myself?
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The Galactic Liberal Democracy
Minister
 
Posts: 2518
Founded: Jun 13, 2018
Ex-Nation

Postby The Galactic Liberal Democracy » Sat Jan 19, 2019 1:08 pm

I believe there is a policy that abolishes prison, so that might affect validity. Also, there may or may not be a problem with putting ‘gulag’ in there.
Last edited by The Galactic Liberal Democracy on Sat Jan 19, 2019 1:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Jutsa
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5513
Founded: Dec 06, 2015
Capitalizt

Postby Jutsa » Sat Jan 19, 2019 2:55 pm

This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with what I brought up in the writers' block, would it? :)

May also want to consider #75.4/5.
In fact, uh, "labor punishment" might be a good flag! (#pushinganagenda) :P
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Australian rePublic
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 27167
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Australian rePublic » Sat Jan 19, 2019 3:10 pm

I thought that option 4 would be about going to kidnap him or something. No self respecting country would intentionally make themselves look bad
Last edited by Australian rePublic on Sat Jan 19, 2019 3:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Trotterdam
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 10541
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Sat Jan 19, 2019 3:21 pm

Australian rePublic wrote:I thought that option 4 would be about going to kidnap him or something. No self respecting country would intentionally make themselves look bad
Aww, I loved that option.

Kidnapping him back does make sense, though. Or kidnapping some other Brancalandians to make up the loss in productivity, anyway.

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Frieden-und Freudenland
Minister
 
Posts: 2276
Founded: Jul 30, 2015
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Frieden-und Freudenland » Sat Jan 19, 2019 7:09 pm

Jutsa wrote:This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with what I brought up in the writers' block, would it? :)


No. I honestly don't even know what it was that you mentioned in the writers' block - I was inspired by the memoir of a North Korean person who spent 10 years in a gulag and then escaped to South Korea. :)

May also want to consider #75.4/5.
In fact, uh, "labor punishment" might be a good flag! (#pushinganagenda) :P


75.4 may not work, I am afraid, as it proposes gulags for rapists, not for political dissidents.

Australian rePublic wrote:I thought that option 4 would be about going to kidnap him or something. No self respecting country would intentionally make themselves look bad

Assassinating them could be an option, but I don't think it would be as silly and funny :)

Kidnapping, on the other hand, is impractical. I don't see how it would be useful, unless you want to make the person "talk" and give you important information. If this person was honest about the things they wrote in the memoir, they have already confessed a lot of things. What more will they say?

Trotterdam wrote:Aww, I loved that option.

Kidnapping him back does make sense, though. Or kidnapping some other Brancalandians to make up the loss in productivity, anyway.


Again, no. You can't keep kidnapping people to make up for the loss of productivity - think about the kidnappers who will have to be deployed for this task... It's not worth it.

Heck, if you're so desperate to have labor, you would create "breeding chambers" and force the prisoners to have sex there, to be able to enslave their offspring. That would be a good replacement for the manpower they lose to defection.
Last edited by Frieden-und Freudenland on Sat Jan 19, 2019 7:10 pm, edited 3 times in total.
When I write, I don't have an accent.

My issues

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)"
~Walt Whitman

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Trotterdam
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 10541
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Sun Jan 20, 2019 5:15 am

Real-life slave-using nations launched raids to capture more slaves from other nations all the time. Though that might already be covered by #254 3, and it's rather less viable in the modern day, of course.

There's also just the symbolic value of showing that escape doesn't pay in the long run.

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Australian rePublic
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 27167
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Australian rePublic » Sun Jan 20, 2019 2:53 pm

North Korea kidnaps people all the time. North Korea wants talent, like that time they Kidnapped film directors to make movies for Kim Jong-il. If the escapee was talented enough, @@NAME@@ might want himbback. Plus, Trott's right, it could serve as "escape doesn't pay" warning
Hard-Core Centrist. Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right.
All in-character posts are fictional and have no actual connection to any real governments
You don't appreciate the good police officers until you've lived amongst the dregs of society and/or had them as customers
From Greek ancestry Orthodox Christian
Issues and WA Proposals Written By Me |Issue Ideas You Can Steal
I want to commission infrastructure in Australia in real life, if you can help me, please telegram me. I am dead serious

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Trotterdam
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 10541
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Sun Jan 20, 2019 3:08 pm

An act so absurd that it feels like it belongs on a parodic nation simulator.

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Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 23650
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Mon Jan 21, 2019 5:12 am

So when they say North Korea's Got Talent, they're not talking a reality show then?
editors like linguistic ambiguity more than most people


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