[DRAFT] Where there's smoke there's tires!

[Xanneria]

My First Attempt at an Issue

[Title] Where there's smoke there's tires!
[Desc] After the most recent season of @@NAME@@ Championship Racing Series, three of the top five drivers were sponsored by Chewing Tobacco or Cigarette companies. Parents have taken notice and want you to take action.
[Validity] Must have racetracks and legal tobacco

[Option]"My little Billy hasn't learned to talk yet, but if he did I'd imagine the first words out of his mouth would be 'Momma can I buy a pack of @@DEMONYM@@ Filter cigarettes please!' " cries a very slim looking mother named Virginia @@LASTNAME "We must not allow the tobacco companies to put advertisements on any form of race car or advertise in any sporting arena!"
[Effect]Most buskers on street corners are professional race car drivers trying to fund their careers

[Option] "Hey now!" says @@NAME@@, the third place driver in last years championship. "I happen to be friends with Wynston Kupp, the CEO of @@CAPITAL@@ Tobacco. He's been so supportive of me during my career that he put his @@ANIMAL@@ Bandit brand chewing tobacco on my car. I think we'd be ok if he continued to fund me. Plus what if a few kids smoke, whats the harm in that?"
[Effect]@@NATION@@ is home to some of the worlds fastest Tobacco advertisements!

[Option] "I have a better idea!" states Minister of Balanced Ideas @@FULLNAME@@ "Why not have the Tobacco people sponsor the car, but any toy or t-shirt with the car on it has to be censored? Best of both world I say!"
[Effect]There's a black market for uncensored toy race cars in @@NATION@@

[Sacara]

Wow! This is really good for a first-time issue! You have a great sense of humor and the effect lines aren't bad. Props for a great first draft.

However, this area is already covered by #635: Hey Kid, Have a Cigar. I strongly encourage you to ask in the Writers' Block before you draft your next issue to see if the premise has already been covered. I have confidence that you'll become a published author if you keep it up.

[Jutsa]

Sorry, Xanneria; this indeed is a very good draft, just covered already.

Hmm... though this title did give me an idea. Maybe you could write up an issue about people squealing their tires and laying rubber?
(If you don't, I will, but that's an idea you could work from)

[Xanneria]

Ok what if I changed it around a bit to make it more about censorship? I could also bring beer and hard liquor into it.


Thanks for the kind words btw.

[Australian rePublic]

Ok what if I changed it around a bit to make it more about censorship? I could also bring beer and hard liquor into it.

Thanks for the kind words btw.

You might, but I think that might be covered too

[Jutsa]

Actually, I kinda wrote that burning rubber draft, so uh... eheh.

If you need help with any ideas, feel free to look at the writers' block, or ask a question there.
Candlewhisper Archive and I (and maybe others, idk) have factbooks, too, which have a list of ideas, if you'd like some help.

Again though, your writing's good. :3

[USS Monitor]

Ok what if I changed it around a bit to make it more about censorship? I could also bring beer and hard liquor into it.


Thanks for the kind words btw.

It might be salvageable by emphasizing the elements that are not about advertising to kids. I dunno... Do we have any issues about sports sponsors that are controversial for other reasons? Like if it's an organization that has a reputation for being racist? I know you were talking about RPing something like that in NSSCRA, but it might work as an issue too if it's not already done.

As others have said, you should not give up on issues-writing. This draft is good for a first try.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Welcome to the forum, and this is a great first effort!

Looking much more unique now it's about sports sponsorship.

What I'd suggest is keeping previous drafts in the OP, behind a collapsed spoiler. That way the comments of posters continue to make sense even after you make your change. Right now, it looks like Sacara is complaining about an overlap that no longer exists.

[Title] Where there's smoke there's tires!
[Desc] After the most recent season of @@NAME@@ Championship Racing Series, three of the top five drivers were sponsored by Chewing Tobacco or Cigarette companies. Parents have taken notice and want you to take action.

Why parents? I suggest change to anti-smoking lobbyists.

[Validity] Must have racetracks and legal tobacco

[Option]"My little Billy hasn't learned to talk yet, but if he did I'd imagine the first words out of his mouth would be 'Momma can I buy a pack of @@DEMONYM@@ Filter cigarettes please!' " cries a very slim looking mother named Virginia @@LASTNAME "We must not allow the tobacco companies to put advertisements on any form of race car or advertise in any sporting arena!"
[Effect]Most buskers on street corners are professional race car drivers trying to fund their careers

Again, this makes no sense for this to be about kids. F1 fans tend to be adults, and while little boys may like fast cars, they generally don't have the patience to watch a 1-2 hour race.

[Option] "Hey now!" says @@NAME@@, the third place driver in last years championship. "I happen to be friends with Wynston Kupp, the CEO of @@CAPITAL@@ Tobacco. He's been so supportive of me during my career that he put his @@ANIMAL@@ Bandit brand chewing tobacco on my car. I think we'd be ok if he continued to fund me. Plus what if a few kids smoke, whats the harm in that?"
[Effect]@@NATION@@ is home to some of the worlds fastest Tobacco advertisements!

This option doesn't actually do anything proactively, so needs to have some direct action built into it.

[Option] "I have a better idea!" states Minister of Balanced Ideas @@FULLNAME@@ "Why not have the Tobacco people sponsor the car, but any toy or t-shirt with the car on it has to be censored? Best of both world I say!"
[Effect]There's a black market for uncensored toy race cars in @@NATION@@

This option still has the weird thing of being worried about children.


Generally, you may want to check out the How To Write An Issue thread, as this'll help you nail the right format and macros. That's just fine detail of course - more importantly, you should look to get the underlying story in shape, and I think the core to that is taking out the premise that this is about protecting children.

[The Sherpa Empire]

Welcome to the forum, and this is a great first effort!

Looking much more unique now it's about sports sponsorship.

What I'd suggest is keeping previous drafts in the OP, behind a collapsed spoiler. That way the comments of posters continue to make sense even after you make your change. Right now, it looks like Sacara is complaining about an overlap that no longer exists.

I think you and Sacara just disagree about how bad the overlap is. This always had a racing sponsorship angle cos Xanneria's a big racing fan.

But yeah... Parts of it overlap #635, but other parts of it don't, and there is probably a way to use the parts that don't overlap.

[Chan Island]

I don't think there is overlap with 635, but I swear there was another issue that mentioned specifically sports sponsorships.

Either way, this is a great submission for a first timer!

How many children actually watch racing? Not sure about how much this would affect them. That said, I can imagine medical professionals, anti-smoking activists and the puritan types would be the ones who'd get up in arms about something like this.

[The Sherpa Empire]

I don't think there is overlap with 635, but I swear there was another issue that mentioned specifically sports sponsorships.

I can't remember for sure if there is an issue about sports sponsorship, and my attempt to search the spoiler thread did not bring one up. There is an issue about plastering ads on buses, but I think this is different enough.

We had an NSG thread about a company with questionable environmental practices that was sponsoring a Little League team, but that was NSG.

Either way, this is a great submission for a first timer!

How many children actually watch racing? Not sure about how much this would affect them. That said, I can imagine medical professionals, anti-smoking activists and the puritan types would be the ones who'd get up in arms about something like this.

Even if kids don't have the patience to watch a whole race, they might still be playing with toys based on the cars.

But I think a general racing sponsorship issue without the focus on kids would be stronger. You could still follow the pattern of

option 1: restrict who can sponsor a car
option 2: let anybody that wants sponsor
option 3: anybody can sponsor a car, but merchandise is censored

I might add a 4th option to make the racing league government sponsored instead of relying on corporate money.

[Xanneria]

Again, this makes no sense for this to be about kids. F1 fans tend to be adults, and while little boys may like fast cars, they generally don't have the patience to watch a 1-2 hour race.

In fairness this was more based off of NASCAR where there are a lot of young fans. In fact kids are a big part of the current NASCAR ad campaigns.

That being said I'm going to completely re-do this issue and make it based off of a fairly controversial but obscure NASCAR car that had it's sponsor banned in 1993