[title]The Wealth of Stations
[desc]Business has been booming for the dozens of companies that collectively make up @@NAME@@'s newly-privatised fire service - but at the cost of countless structures burning up every month, mostly put down to inability or failure to quickly pay the subscription fees that each company requires. This has only been compounded by the @@CAPITAL@@ Journal's revelations that potentially hundreds of homes have been lost due to the inability of @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ to immediately foot the bill for fires affecting their mainly working-class relatives.
[validity]Capitalist. Must have selected Option 247.1 (or otherwise has a privatised fire service?)
[option]"It's not my fault that people can't make a living these days," complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, human resources middle-manager at the @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@ Street Unit To Proactively Stamp Out Residential and Commercial Fires in Suburban @@CAPITAL@@. "If you and your family just sit there all day, there's a good chance that you're going to be financially annihilated into kingdom come, and we certainly wan---oh, don't want that. We've asked the lazy to pay, but if they can't, we should forcibly redistribute their subs towards everybody else's houses... that should help, right?"
[effect]it's not an emergency if you don't earn six figures
[option]"It's not my fault that so many expect something for nothing," notes @@RANDOMNAME@@, who oversees the @@ANIMAL@@ City Fire Prevention Zero Liability Company. "If you're under our remit, you pay us Violet-knows-how-many hundred @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ a year, and if you don't, we'll have to nag Auntie @@RANDOMFEMALEFIRSTNAME@@ to do so within five minutes. We compound that with the fact that if anybody was allowed to bend our ground rules, everybody would do so, and it should be clear: The only way forward is to axe this whole beg-thy-neighbour shenanigans and make payment voluntary, but a criminal offence at once. It's what the people want, after all!"
[effect]the lot of the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ has become ever more taxing
[option]"It's not my fault that we can't be everywhere at once," laments @@RANDOMNAME@@, one of only six firefighters serving all of western @@NAME@@. "I certainly wouldn't advocate any major change to the free market in emergency services we have today, but perhaps you could help out with building a few more fire stations here and there, providing some funding for us to do our job, allowing us to do so without having to extor... wait, apparently @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@'s home is on fire and it'll be a day's round trip, so see you later!"
[effect]the fire service has been renationalised