Page 1 of 1

SUBMITTED: A Polar Bear's Tale

PostPosted: Tue Nov 06, 2018 3:04 am
by Australian rePublic
title] A Polar Bear's Tale

[desc] @@RANDOMNAME@@ went to a beach in @@ANIMAL@@ City and decided to call the police on beach-goers who didn't bring a polar bear with them. The police were ready to laugh at the accuser, until searching through the archives discovering a law prohibiting humans from visiting beaches unless accompanied by polar bears, a law created to help @@NAME@@ win the 5 week war. The incident made national headlines and brought the issue of looney laws to your desk

[option] "This is a stupid law!" complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, who was interrogated during the incident "I was interrogated by police for half an hour because I didn't have a polar bear. Where am I supposed to find a polar bear in this climate? Not only that, but right here in @@CAPITAL@@, it's illegal to own a pink watch and purple handbag. These laws are stupid, and you should get rid of them!"
[effect] the government spends more time erasing laws than controlling inflation

[option] "You can't be serious!" suggests @@RANDOMNAME@@, who's wearing goggles because @@HE@@ is within 100 cubits of a fire hose. "We can't go around erasing every law on the books! That's too much paperwork. Instead, we should punish the over-zealous police officers for trying to enforce these stupid laws!"
[effect] police are punished for enforcing the law

[option] "Excuse me, but you seem to be forgetting that these people broke the law." Reminds @@RANDOMNAME@@, who was punished under @@HIS@@ appartment's bylaws for holding an orange in @@HIS@@ left hand on a cloudy day "Put these criminals in prison where they belong. I don't care how "stupid" you think it is, the fact of the matter is that these people didn't bring their polar bears to the beach and thus disobeyed the law! Put them in prison with the others who failed to obey the law!"
[policy reversal] no prison
[effect] half of the nation's prisons are filled with people who had the wrong coloured crayon in the supermarket

title] A Polar Bear's Tale

[desc] @@RANDOMNAME@@ went to a beach in @@ANIMAL@@ City and decided to call the police on beach-goers who didn't bring a polar bear with them. The police were ready to laugh at the accuser, until searching through the archives discovering a law prohibiting humans from visiting beaches unless accompanied by polar bears, a law created to help @@NAME@@ win the 5 week war in the early 1800s. The incident made national headlines and brought the issue of looney laws to your desk

[option] "This is a stupid law!" complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, who was interrogated during the incident "I was interrogated by police for half an hour because I didn't have a polar bear. Where am I supposed to find a polar bear in this climate? Not only that, but right here in @@CAPITAL@@, it's illegal to own a pink watch and purple handbag. These laws are stupid, and you should get rid of them!"
[effect] the government spends more time erasing laws than controlling inflation

[option] "You can't be serious!" suggests @@RANDOMNAME@@, who's wearing goggles because @@HE@@ is 100 cubits of a fire hose. "We can't go around erasing every law on the books! That's too much paperwork. Instead, we should punish the over-zealous police officers for trying to enforce these stupid laws!"
[effect] police are punished for enforcing the law

[option] "Excuse me, but you seem to be forgetting that these people broke the law." Reminds @@RANDOMNAME@@, who was punished under @@HIS@@ appartment's bylaws for holding an orange in @@HIS@@ left hand on a cloudy day "Put these criminals in prison where they belong. I don't care how "stupid" you think it is, the fact of the matter is that these people didn't bring their polar bears to the beach and thus disobeyed the law! Put them in prison with the others who failed to obey the law!"
[policy reversal] no prison
[effect] half of the nation's prisons are filled with people who had the wrong coloured crayon in the supermarket

title] A Polar Bear's Tale

[desc] @@RANDOMNAME@@ went to a beach in @@ANIMAL@@ City and decided to call the police on beach-goers who didn't bring a polar bear with them. The police were ready to laugh at the accuser, until searching through the archives discovering a law prohibiting humans from visiting beaches unless accompanied by polar bears. The incident made national headlines and brought the issue of looney laws to your desk

[option] "This is a stupid law!" complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, who was interrogated during the incident "I was interrogated by police for half an hour because I didn't have a polar bear. Where am I supposed to find a polar bear in this climate? Not only that, but right here in @@CAPITAL@@, it's illegal to own a pink watch and purple handbag. These laws are stupid, and you should get rid of them!"
[effect] the government spends more time erasing laws than controlling inflation

[option] "You can't be serious!" suggests @@RANDOMNAME@@, who's wearing goggles because @@HE@@ is 100 cubits of a fire hose. "We can't go around erasing every law on the books! That's too much paperwork. Instead, we should punish the over-zealous police officers for trying to enforce these stupid laws!"
[effect] police are punished for enforcing the law

[option] "Excuse me, but you seem to be forgetting that these people broke the law." Reminds @@RANDOMNAME@@, who was punished under @@HIS@@ appartment's bylaws for holding an orange in @@HIS@@ left hand on a cloudy day "Put these criminals in prison where they belong. I don't care how "stupid" you think it is, the fact of the matter is that these people didn't bring their polar bears to the beach and thus disobeyed the law! Put them in prison with the others who failed to obey the law!"
[policy reversal] no prison
[effect] half of the nation's prisons are filled with people who had the wrong coloured crayon in the supermarket


[title] A Polar Bear's Tail

[desc] @@RANDOMNAME@@ went to a beach in @@ANIMAL@@ City and decided to call the police on beach-goers who didn't bring a polar bear with them. The police were ready to laugh at the accuser, until searching through the archives discovering a law prohibiting humans from visiting beaches unless accompanied by polar bears. The incident made national headlines and brought the issue of looney laws to your desk

[option] "This is a stupid law!" complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, who was interrogated during the incident "I was interrogated by police for half an hour because I didn't have a polar bear. Where am I supposed to find a polar bear in this climate? Not only that, but right here in @@CAPITAL@@, it's illegal to own a pink watch and purple handbag. These laws are stupid, and you should get rid of them!"
[effect] the government spends more time erasing laws than controlling inflation
[option] "You can't be serious!" suggests @@RANDOMNAME@@, "We can't go around erasing every law on the books! That's too much paperwork. Instead, we should punish the over-zealous police officers for trying to enforce these stupid laws!"
[effect] police are punished for enforcing the law

[option] "Excuse me, but you seem to be forgetting that these people broke the law." Reminds @@RANDOMNAME@@ who was punished . "Put these criminals in prison where they belong, in prison. I don't care how "stupid" you think it is, the fact of the matter is that these people didn't bring their polar bears to the beach and thus disobeyed the law! Put them in prison with the others who failed to obey the law!"
[policy reversal] no prison
[effect] half of the nation's prisons are filled with people who had the wrong coloured crayon in the supermarket

PostPosted: Tue Nov 06, 2018 3:17 pm
by Chan Island
Don't we already have an issue on this topic? I'm surprised...

Other than that, this is an excellent draft. The idea of everyone needing polar bears to visit the beach is a very amusing little idea. The options are nice and the outcomes amusing.

I'd like to see a bit more characterisation for the second and third speakers though if that's possible. Either by actions or by words, because right now it's just a name and a handful of lines. For example, I imagine the last speaker as saying this while complying with all of the silly laws like, say, by wearing goggles because they live on the fourth floor or is being careful to hold an orange in their left hand while the weather is cloudy.

PostPosted: Tue Nov 06, 2018 6:12 pm
by New Ladavia
Good premise
Chan Island wrote:
I'd like to see a bit more characterization for the second and third speakers though if that's possible. Either by actions or by words, because right now it's just a name and a handful of lines. For example, I imagine the last speaker as saying this while complying with all of the silly laws like, say, by wearing goggles because they live on the fourth floor or is being careful to hold an orange in their left hand while the weather is cloudy.


I agree with Chan Island in that the second choice needs more characterization. For instance, you could make him a layer or a bureaucrat.
In addition, you could add a part where @@RANDOMNAME_1@@ is arrested because he failed to comply with the apartments bylaws or something along those lines

PostPosted: Wed Nov 07, 2018 3:54 am
by Australian rePublic
Thanks to Chan and New Ladavia. The new draft is up. Thank you Chan and New Ladavia!

PostPosted: Wed Nov 07, 2018 6:30 am
by Baggieland
Nice premise, but I feel somewhere you need to mention why taking a polar bear to the beach is the law.

Example:

It’s hard to confirm the exact history of the ice cream sundae, but the general idea goes like this: Ice cream sundaes are the direct result of Blue Laws, which are religious laws in the United States that restrict activities that could be considered sinful. One example of a Blue Law is the ban on the sale of liquor in certain places on Sundays. In the late 1800s, there was another Blue Law on the books that made it illegal to sell soda on Sunday. Some religious groups were against what they called “sucking sodas” and felt that this activity should be banned on the Sabbath.

This ban on Sunday soda sales was a big problem for anyone that enjoyed root beer floats or other ice cream sodas. At the time, pharmacists (called druggists in those days) were doing a booming business in ice cream sodas at their pharmacy counters. They needed another way to sell ice cream to their customers on hot Sunday afternoons. Their solution was to replace the soda with chocolate sauce, a move that made everyone happy — ice cream lovers, druggists and those that disapproved of soda.

PostPosted: Wed Nov 07, 2018 7:05 am
by Bears Armed
Baggieland wrote:Nice premise, but I feel somewhere you need to mention why taking a polar bear to the beach is the law.

This. Even those old laws that seem ridiculous now probably had a reason for existence originally. Well, maybe unless they were created by somebody like Caligula, but then I'd expect them to have been repealed quickly by the following government anyway...

PostPosted: Wed Nov 07, 2018 1:54 pm
by Australian rePublic
I wonder they created a law against getting fish drunk. Anyway, thanks Baggie and Bears! Fixed. Next draft is up

PostPosted: Wed Nov 07, 2018 2:02 pm
by Sacara
I wouldn't reference a certain time in the description. Rather, I would say 'made during the founding years of the nation' or something of the sort.

PostPosted: Fri Nov 16, 2018 3:55 am
by Australian rePublic
Next draft is up
Sacara wrote:I wouldn't reference a certain time in the description. Rather, I would say 'made during the founding years of the nation' or something of the sort.

I made it more vague. Thanks Sacara!

PostPosted: Fri Nov 16, 2018 4:28 am
by Chan Island
@@DENONYM@@ warrior taking a break from the fiercest fighting during the 5 week war, painting.

In other thoughts, I think this draft is in good condition. Careful in option 2, because the speaker is either 100 cubits from, not of a fire hose., is is within 100 cubits of the fire hose.

PostPosted: Fri Nov 16, 2018 8:48 am
by Jutsa
Admittedly your suggestion baffled me for a bit, Chan; dunno if Aussie'll get it.
I imagine he would, but to be on the safe side:

Chan means it's either 100 cubits from or within 100 cubits of.

ed: and tbf Chan I did just wake up not too long ago so I might've been the only one at first confused by your phrasing. >_>

PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2018 9:13 pm
by Hediacrana
I do like the absurdity of this issue. Regarding the third speaker, does it really make sense for someone who has been so negatively affected by silly laws to advocate for keeping them as they are? I'd think they'd rather be against them.

PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2018 9:32 pm
by Australian rePublic
RE: Chan and Jutsa, I forgot to fix the typo. Sorry
RE: Hedi. Or maybe he's so sour he wants to f$$k everyone over

PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2019 8:29 pm
by Australian rePublic
Last call

PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2019 4:47 am
by Australian rePublic
Submitted

PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2019 5:55 am
by Bears Armed
Good luck!

PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2019 2:03 pm
by Australian rePublic
Bears Armed wrote:Good luck!

Thanks!