[ACCEPTED; #1167] - Another Brick in the Wall

[Sacara]

[Name] Another Brick in the Wall
[Desc] A devastating earthquake occurred on @@NAME@@’s northeastern border last night, taking down a section of the border wall in the process. To the surprise of the construction workers who showed up this morning, the area was filled by a group of masked people who opposed the building of the wall, blocking the rebuilding effort.
[Validity] Answered issue 47.1

[option] "There better be a good reason be a good reason we haven't started rebuildin' yet!" frantically exclaims your Minister of Barriers, toying around with a miniature replica of what appears to be a wall. "We ought to round up everyone there and arrest them. This is the top priority from now on. Hell, we could even make it bigger and better than before. I say it should get built at least ten feet higher in the area where it fell, and I suppose we ought to look into some techniques so it don’t fall over again, too."
[effect] those near the border stare into a seemingly infinitely tall concrete wall

[validity] allows immigration
[option] "Perhaps we could just keep the area in question as an entry point?" advocates @@RANDOMNAME@@, a long-time advisor who has a knack of creating compromises. "This could surely be a way that pleases both sides, if you think about it. This section will be just an area for folks to get in and out of the country by land. No one will go home mad: they'll be happy that nothing is built and you'll keep the border secured."
[effect] there's a significantly sized hole in the border wall

[option] "This just goes to show how much of a bad idea the wall was in the first place," protests one of the masked demonstrators, who refuses to tell you @@HIS@@ name. "Why do we need to be so strict on immigration, anyways? And imagine if we are forced to pay for every crack and bruise that’s on it? The only expense we’ll ever need is to tear down the whole thing right now. It’s time to set @@NAME@@ free again!"
[effect] border communities rejoice at the sight of the sky once again

[option] "How about we address the real problem: the wall isn't structurally sound!" exclaims your Minister of Integrity, whose department also includes construction work. "How can you ever claim to keep @@NAME@@'s border secure if a measly earthquake can just knock it done? It's time we fund a massive renovation of the entire wall. We must ensure that it can stand against any act of nature, no matter the severity."
[effect] the border wall can withstand anything from a volcano to a nuclear bomb

[Australian rePublic]

There's no such thing as a nameless country

[The Civitas Islands]

There's no such thing as a nameless country

Luxembourg...




Jk, ya'll are cool

[The Civitas Islands]

Oh and good issue.

[Sacara]

There's no such thing as a nameless country

Aussie, the use of a "small, unnamed nation" has been used far before my time in GI?... It's not something new.

Oh and good issue.

Any specific feedback?

[USS Monitor]

There's no such thing as a nameless country

Aussie, the use of a "small, unnamed nation" has been used far before my time in GI?... It's not something new.

I think you don't need to say what's on the other side of the border, though.

[Sacara]

I think you don't need to say what's on the other side of the border, though.

Fair enough.

Any thoughts on the issue itself?

[Chan Island]

I think you don't need to say what's on the other side of the border, though.

Fair enough.

Any thoughts on the issue itself?

To be completely honest, I'm not entirely sure why this is an issue for the leader of the nation. When earthquakes destroy any other sort of infrastructure I can think of, we humans just go and fix or rebuild it. So why not with the wall?

Now, if there is a complication that is preventing that from happening, or perhaps some new factor making rebuilding that wall potentially undesirable.

There's no such thing as a nameless country

Luxembourg...

[South Ccanda]

To add to what Chan Island said,
For example, the ground could become unstable or even protesters from the blocked nation and/or your own nation

[USS Monitor]

Fair enough.

Any thoughts on the issue itself?

To be completely honest, I'm not entirely sure why this is an issue for the leader of the nation. When earthquakes destroy any other sort of infrastructure I can think of, we humans just go and fix or rebuild it. So why not with the wall?

Now, if there is a complication that is preventing that from happening, or perhaps some new factor making rebuilding that wall potentially undesirable.

If the wall was national government property, then the national government would be responsible for rebuilding it. It's not a decision that a national leader would normally spend a lot of time dwelling on, but I don't think it's a stretch that they would sign off.

I dunno... Might be clearer why @@LEADER@@ is dealing with it if you have your border security agency asking for funds to pay for the repairs or something.

[Sacara]

I think it's clear this needs editing, and I have to possible solutions that I would like to hear feedback on:

• Protests are happening at the site where the wall collapsed, and that is preventing the government from rebuilding
• Border security has to ask for money to rebuild it, and asks to build it even higher will be expensive

Which one sounds more interesting?

[Sacara]

I went ahead and edited the description and option one. Looking for feedback.

[Jutsa]

We actually have an issue called "Hole in the Wall" 1060

[Chan Island]

So you've opted to go for the internal dissident route- which is perfectly fine, but it makes the corporate option seem a little out of place- unless that private corporation has it's own security personnel who know exactly how to handle those obstructionists. Surely a more appropriate option would be to in some way compromise or deal with the protesters. For example, this hole in the wall could be marked as an official border crossing with a road allowed through it.

[Bears Armed]

There's no such thing as a nameless country

A small nameless country

So you've opted to go for the internal dissident route- which is perfectly fine, but it makes the corporate option seem a little out of place- unless that private corporation has it's own security personnel who know exactly how to handle those obstructionists.

By giving them "cement overcoats" & incorporating them into the gap's long-term filling material?
^_^

[Sacara]

Changed option two, added an option four, and changed the title.

Not sure how much I love the title -- would love to hear more about it.

[Australian rePublic]

Option 4, I would have thought that the concern was crushing people, and that way, it's relevant whether or not @@HE@@ supports a wall. Further, there should be an option stating that "If these people like then so much, they should go live with them"

[Sacara]

Option 4, I would have thought that the concern was crushing people, and that way, it's relevant whether or not @@HE@@ supports a wall. Further, there should be an option stating that "If these people like then so much, they should go live with them"

Not sure I understand, Aussie. Could you explain a littler clearer?

[Sacara]

Still looking for feedback on the updated draft.

[Australian rePublic]

Option 4, I would have thought that the concern was crushing people, and that way, it's relevant whether or not @@HE@@ supports a wall. Further, there should be an option stating that "If these people like then so much, they should go live with them"

Not sure I understand, Aussie. Could you explain a littler clearer?

Well you see, a huge arse giant wall collapsing would fall on things, and those things, and those things will be crushed

[Verdant Haven]

Here's some thoughts and feedback! The items in red are missing or corrected words, the rest are thoughts on structure and narrative.

[Name] Plug the Hole
[Desc] A devastating earthquake occurred on @@NAME@@’s northeastern border last night, in the process taking down a section of the border wall. To the surprise of the construction workers showed up this morning, the area was filled a group of masked people who opposed the building of the wall, blocking the rebuilding effort.
[Validity] Answered issue 47.1

- To the surprise of the construction workers who showed up this morning...

- ...the area was filled by a group of masked...

- I would suggest using the more standard phrasing "taking down a section of the border wall in the process."

- I would also consider shortening "masked people who opposed the building of the wall" to something more succinct like "masked anti-wall protestors"

[option] "Why in the good Violet’s name haven’t we started rebuildin’ yet?" frantically asks your Minister of Barriers, toying around with a miniature replica of what appears to be a wall. "We ought to round up everyone there and arrest them. This is top priority from now on. Hell, we could even make it bigger and better than before. I say it should get built at least ten feet higher, and I suppose we ought to look into some techniques so it don’t fall over again, too."
[effect] those near the border stare into a seemingly infinitely tall concrete wall

- I might use a different exclamation by the minister, since a government official using a religious phrase wouldn't fit in a country that has outlawed religion. My country would have such a person arrested.

- There feels like a slight disconnect between "ten feet higher" and "seemingly infinitely tall" in the effect. I like the humor value of going higher, so I might suggest playing up that ("we should build it fifty, no, a hundred feet higher!"), and effect text it with something to play on that ("the border wall is known as 'the edge of the world'" or some such).

[option] "Perhaps we could just keep the area in question as an entry point?" advocates @@RANDOMNAME@@, an long-time advisor who has a knack of creating compromises. "This could surely be a way that pleases both sides, if you think about it. This section will be just an area for folks to get in and out of the country by land. No one will go home mad: they'll be happy that nothing is built and you'll keep the border secured."
[effect] there's a significantly sized hole in border wall

- This will need a validity check for immigration and emigration policies

- The effect text isn't particularly notable. Perhaps something along the lines of "immigrants 'accidentally' knock holes in the wall whenever they want a new entrance"

[option] "This just goes to show how much of a bad idea this was in the first place," protests your Minister of Being Open, an avowed opponent to the wall. "On top of the awful political ramifications the wall has on our country, it always has economic ones too! Imagine if we are forced to pay for every crack and bruise that’s on it? The only expense we’ll ever need to tear down the whole thing now. It’s time to set @@NAME@@ free again!"
[effect] border communities rejoice at the sight of the sky once again

- "The only expense we’ll ever need is to tear down the whole thing..."

- It would probably work better to say the minister is an opponent "of" the wall.

- One could clarify the first clause by rewording "...goes to show how much of a bad idea this was..." to something like ..."goes to show how bad an idea this was..."

[option] "How about we address the real problem: the wall isn't structurally sound!" exclaims your Minister of Integrity, who's department also includes construction work. "How can you ever claim to keep @@NAME@@'s border secure if a measly earthquake can just knock it done? It's time we fund a massive renovation of the entire wall. We must ensure that it can stand against any act of nature, no matter the severity."
[effect] the border wall can withstand anything from a volcano to a nuclear bomb

- "...Minister of Integrity, whose department also includes..."

- There may need to be some additional differentiation from option 1. Option 1 already includes both making it taller and reinforcing it, so this one just saying "reinforce it" comes up a little short compared to the other three.

Hope some of that is helpful!

[Sacara]

Good thoughts, Verdant. Small grammar mistakes here and there mainly. I implemented most of them.

[Jutsa]

Ayy Sacara I think you stuck the immigration validity on the wrong option, there.

[Sacara]

Oh derp.

Fixed that and some other grammar stuff. Any more comments?

[Jutsa]

Naeh, I honestly really like this where it stands, myself.