[title] Mother Knows Best?
[desc] A recent report from the Bureau of Population Statistics has revealed that, during the past quarter, the number of parenting licenses given to prospective parents fell to an all-time low.
[validity] Parental Licensing
[option] Your secretary, who has failed the parenting test four times in a row, is eager to speak to you about this. "I mean, come on! How was I supposed to know how long it takes for a baby to get to the center of a lollipop? The test shouldn't be so impossibly hard that no one can pass it. And there are so many other restrictions and requirements that get in the way of people trying to be parents. I beg you to make it easier for a regular person to obtain a license. I promise I will raise my children well!"
[fallout] basic multiplication is all you need to know to have a child
[option] "Seems like we're running a country full of idiots, doesn't it?" complains the head bureaucrat of the government agency that awards parenting licenses. "The application process is doing its job if it keeps those who are unqualified from having children. If there is one child in the hands of a parent without their wits intact, then we have failed as a nation. Instead of making the process easier, we need to be even more selective. And we should monitor the progress of parents even after they get their licenses, just to make sure they're parenting up to standard. Only the best, brightest, and most qualified deserve to raise a family."
[fallout] first-time moms are expected to be experienced parents from day one
[option] "Licenses? We don't need no stinking licenses!" yowls your Minister of Productivity, writhing and jumping around you. "Less children -- bad! Less productivity -- bad! Bad for economy! We always need to be producing, always need to be doing! More children, more doing!" The minister's mouth froths as he mumbles on the floor, making bizarre thrusting motions.
[fallout] posters encourage people to "Just Do It!"
