[SUBMITTED] (CO with Urran) Foreign Diplomats Going Bananas

[Jutsa]

So the author of this draft has been busy with work,
but I very much liked the issue, and decided to ask if they'd be interested in a co-authorship.

Though Urran has said yes, I will publicly state that if Urran wishes to change anything, submit this, or back out of the co-authorship, I'm obliged to follow through.

NOTE: Before I see a comment about #912: Ambassadors Behaving Badly,
I'd like to point out that that involves your own diplomats misbehaving in other nations, not other nations' diplomats, with immunity, misbehaving in your nation.

Changes:
1) Made each option much shorter, but they're still a bit lengthier because I didn't want to completely annihilate Urran's work or anything. (plus there're only 3 options)
2) Changed what option 1 does a little bit.
3) Took into account other nations' grants for diplomatic immunity, and
4) completely changed option 3, since it was a bit too "sensible compromise" for my personal preference.

I hope you enjoy; I certainly have, so far.
Note: If anyone has a better title suggestion, feel free to suggest one.

Draft 1.01

Title: Foreign Diplomats Going Bananas
The Issue: Staff from the Bigtopian embassy recently celebrated their annual "Banana Slapping Festival", an important part of their cultural heritage, whereby Bigtopians slap people with bananas and discard them in the street. This has not only broken multiple laws regarding the proper disposal of waste, but has, rather comically, lead to a spike in bruised bottoms as pedestrians slip on the discarded rubbish. The problem? Diplomatic immunity makes it impossible to take any action against foreign diplomats.
Validity: (Co-authors: Urran, Jutsa) All

Option 1: "If it weren't for diplomatic immunity, I would have beaten those blasted, banana-munching scumbags with my baton!" bellows @@RANDOMNAME@@, Chief of the @@CAPITAL@@ Police Department. "We can't stand for this kind of behavior! I can't even give them a parking ticket! What's next? Getting away with murder? You should file a formal complaint to Bigtopia, and if they don't send us proper diplomats that show us some respect, then we'll arrest them regardless of 'immunity'. If Bigtopia doesn't like it, then tough; it'd be their own damn fault."
[effect] foreign diplomats can often be seen doing community service.

Option 2: "But the Banana Slapping Festival is an important part of our cultural heritage!" retorts one of the Bigtopian ambassadors, @@RANDOMNAME@@, covering @@HIS@@ heart in offense. "And I see nothing wrong with injecting a little bit of culture into @@NAME@@. Besides, you wouldn't want to make me late for a staff meeting, or tick off our benevolent leader, would you? If anything, you should allow everyone to partake in the Banana Slapping Festival. It's a bunch of fun, has a lot of appeal, and you can't slip up when it comes to tourism!"
[effect] fruit consumption is strongly correlated with both foreign power and broken backs

Option 3: "I can't believe the nerve of these barbaric Bigtopians," says overly patriotic xenophobe @@RANDOMNAME@@, having thrown a banana peel at the face of the ambassador in sheer disgust. "Have they even considered what might happen if the person they trip flies into an elderly person? Cancel diplomatic relations with these bozos, along with anyone else who dares insult our great @@TYPE@@! We're too good to be associating with ignorant slobs like these."
[effect] allies have been lost due to smiling the wrong way

Title: Foreign Diplomats Going Bananas
The Issue: Staff from the Bigtopian embassy recently celebrated their annual "Banana Slapping Festival", an important part of their cultural heritage, whereby Bigtopians slap people with bananas and discard them in the street. This has not only broken multiple laws regarding the proper disposal of waste, but has, rather comically, lead to a spike in bruised bottoms as pedestrians slip on the discarded rubbish. The problem? Diplomatic immunity makes it impossible to take any action against foreign diplomats.
Validity: (Co-authors: Urran, Jutsa) All

Option 1: "If it weren't for diplomatic immunity, I would have beaten those blasted, banana-munching scumbags with my baton!" bellows @@RANDOMNAME@@, Chief of the @@CAPITAL@@ Police Department. "We can't stand for this kind of behavior! I can't even give them a parking ticket! What's next? Getting away with murder? You should file a formal complaint to Bigtopia, and if they don't send us proper diplomats that show us some respect, then we'll arrest them regardless of 'immunity'. If Bigtopia doesn't like it, then tough; it'd be their own damn fault."
[effect] foreign diplomats can often be seen doing community service.

Option 2: "But the Banana Slapping Festival is an important part of our cultural heritage!" retorts one of the Bigtopian ambassadors, @@RANDOMNAME@@, covering @@HIS@@ heart in offense. "And I see nothing wrong with injecting a little bit of culture into @@NAME@@. Besides, you wouldn't want to make me late for a staff meeting, or tick off our benevolent leader, would you? If anything, you should allow everyone to partake in the Banana Slapping Festival. It's a bunch of fun, has a lot of appeal, and you can't slip up when it comes to tourism!"
[effect] fruit consumption is strongly correlated with both foreign power and broken backs

Option 3: "I can't believe the nerve of these barbaric Bigtopians," says overly patriotic xenophobe @@RANDOMNAME@@, having thrown a banana peel at the face of the ambassador in sheer disgust. "Cancel diplomatic relations with these bozos, along with anyone else who dares insult our great @@TYPE@@! We're too good to be associating with ignorant slobs like these."
[effect] allies have been lost due to smiling the wrong way

Title: Foreign Diplomats Going Bananas
The Issue: Staff from the Bigtopian embassy recently celebrated their annual "Banana Slapping Festival", an important part of their cultural heritage, whereby Bigtopians slap people with bananas and discard them in the street. This has not only broken multiple laws regarding the proper disposal of waste, but has, rather comically, lead to a spike in bruised bottoms as pedestrians slip on the discarded rubbish. The problem? Diplomatic immunity makes it impossible to take any action against foreign diplomats.
Validity: (Co-authors: Urran, Jutsa) All

Option 1: "If it weren't for diplomatic immunity, I would have beaten those blasted, banana-munching scumbags with my baton!" bellows @@RANDOMNAME@@, Chief of the @@CAPITAL@@ Police Department. "We can't stand for this kind of behavior! I can't even give them a parking ticket! What's next? Getting away with murder? You should file a formal complaint to Bigtopia, and if they don't send us proper diplomats that show us some respect, then we'll arrest them regardless of 'immunity'. If Bigtopia doesn't like it, then tough; it'd be their own damn fault."
[effect] foreign diplomats can often be seen doing community service.

Option 2: "But the Banana Slapping Festival is an important part of our cultural heritage!" retorts one of the Bigtopian ambassadors, @@RANDOMNAME@@, covering @@HIS@@ heart in offense. "And I see nothing wrong with injecting a little bit of culture into @@NAME@@. Besides, you wouldn't want to make me late for a staff meeting, or tick off our benevolent leader, would you? If anything, you should personally approve diplomatic immunity to us and whoever we deem fit. You could start with the the captain of the ship that brought in the bananas."
[effect] fruit consumption is strongly correlated with both foreign power and broken backs

Option 3: "I can't believe the nerve of barbaric Bigtopians," says overly patriotic xenophobe @@RANDOMNAME@@, having thrown a banana peel at the face of the ambassador in sheer disgust. "Cancel diplomatic relations with these bozos, along with anyone else who dares insult our great @@TYPE@@! We're too good to be associating with ignorant slobs like these."
[effect] allies have been lost due to smiling the wrong way

[Trotterdam]

While diplomatic immunity prevents most types of punishment, it generally still permits expulsion, where the offending diplomat is no longer welcome in your nation but is otherwise unharmed. That'd probably be the first suggestion offered. (An appropiately exaggerated outcome would be diplomats needing to be replaced monthly because they're expelled every time they're caught jaywalking.)

Of course, it is rather important to the narrative here that the misbehavior is not specific to a particular diplomat acting as a loose cannon, but is a widespread and officially-sanctioned cultural tradition from that nation. If Bigtopia isn't willing to budge on that issue and just keeps sending new diplomats that uphold the same stupid traditions, then you don't have much choice except to break off diplomatic relationships entirely.

Traditionally, any more serious punishment on a diplomat would first require you to ask the diplomat's home nation for permission to revoke the diplomatic immunity (if the diplomat did something that's illegal in both nations, they may well agree), but of course the other nation can always choose not to agree, putting you back at square one. This option could easily be brushed away by mentioning in the description that you already lodged a formal diplomatic complaint and were ignored.

Also, don't forget to mark this as co-authored.

[Jutsa]

I'll take a closer look at the comments tomorrow or the day after (busy tomorrow), but I simply had to add the co-authorship in the validity...
whoops.

[Australian rePublic]

I don't think that this looks at the consequences enough. I know someone who's allergic to bananas, and he gets rashes everytime he has contact with them. Also, my grandma is heavily disabled, and just has the ability to walk. If she slips on a banana peal, that's a trip to the hospital, if she's lucky

[Jutsa]

Finally bumping this one...

haven't really worked on it though. I've tried to wrap my head around it and I'm not entirely sure how to proceed, if anyone has any suggestions.

@Aussie: Good point. I don't think the ambassador would purposefully do that, buut that's still a good point.

[Sacara]

Of course, it is rather important to the narrative here that the misbehavior is not specific to a particular diplomat acting as a loose cannon, but is a widespread and officially-sanctioned cultural tradition from that nation. If Bigtopia isn't willing to budge on that issue and just keeps sending new diplomats that uphold the same stupid traditions, then you don't have much choice except to break off diplomatic relationships entirely.

I suppose that the bolded part is the entire issue, no? Seems like a player autonomy issue if "you don't have much choice except...", right? I like the issue where it currently is at: whether foreign 'odd' customs that are frowned upon should be allowed around embassies. It's amusing.

I wouldn't change much, Jutsa.

[Jutsa]

Well, thank you, Sacara...

Uh... I know I've had this one up for a decent chunk of time, but I also know I haven't gotten much feedback for it...
I'm kinda thinking about having this submitted in a week, but I don't wanna rush into it if it's not gotten a lot of looks.
At the same time, I don't really wanna leave it up too long if it's just that it doesn't need much work. >.>

So yeah, one more week, I guess, unless major changes are made.

Edit: Also, I will change "and whoever we deem fit" since that's... a little bit of a potential dealbreaker,
so I'll change option 2 to actually encourage the banana slapping festival be allowed in your nation.

[Australian rePublic]

@Aussie: Good point. I don't think the ambassador would purposefully do that, buut that's still a good point.

No, he/she wouldn't. But you should still raise it as a concern

[Jutsa]

Agreed. Putting that in option 3; could stand to use a tiny bit more flesh. :>