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[DRAFT]Rotten to The Core

PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2018 2:58 am
by Lakhovia
The dilemma: After a harrowing election, some citizens of @@NAME@@ had successfully voted an apple as their local governor. Two years later the same apple is being tried for corruption and many are debating over the validity of the case.

Option 1:
"Mr. Apple deserves not this treatment!" screams @@RANDOMNAME@@, a fanatical supporter for the fruit in question. "The court is biased against him due to the fact that Mr. Apple isn't human or something! We should erase distinctions between political candidates so that anyone and anything can and will be treated fairly. Then we'll see.

Effect:
Recent polls suggest @@LEADER@@ may be losing out to a sandwich in the campaign for the upcoming election.

Option 2:
"Firstly I can confirm that Mr. Apple is in fact, female and that other person was dumb," said @@RANDOMNAME@@, a self-proclaimed 'debunker of dumbness.' In fact, this whole court case is dumb. Why are even trying an apple, much less electing one? We should crack down on this dumbness, maybe fund an anti-dumb patrol or something.. you're all dumb.

Effect:
Smiley-faced cereal brands face bankruptcy as anti-dumb patrols boycott their products for being "too tempting to play with like a toy."

Option 3:
"Perhaps it is not these ramblings we should be talking about, but rather, the actual case." Piped @@RANDOMNAME@@, a senior member of the jury. "I say we try Mr. Apple like any other citizen of @@NAME@@. We dig into his records and see if there are any backings for these claims. Although I will need funding to compensate for the fact that we're investigating a pome, something never done before. Besides, something like this might come up again. Good to be prepared."

Effect:
The Department of Criminal Investigation into Milk-based Products has earned the ire of lactose-intolerants

Just so you know guys, this my 1st issue and I don't plan on releasing it for a while, 'till I deem it ready or just scrap it.

PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2018 3:04 am
by Arta
Very funny. I like it

PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2018 5:19 am
by Tinhampton
Here come the men in blue, quality defenders...
Lakhovia wrote:The dilemma: After a harrowing election How harrowing?, some citizens of @@NAME@@ had successfully voted an apple Main criticism of the issue: How will one be able to tell whether or not one is able to elect non-sapient objects? as their local governor What if your nation doesn't have decentralisation/devolution/localism as a policy?. Two years later the same apple is being tried for corruption How did this happen? and many are debating over the validity of the case What if your nation has no courts?.

Validity?

Option 1:
"Mr. Apple deserves not does not deserve* this treatment!" screams @@RANDOMNAME@@, a fanatical supporter for the fruit in question. "The court is biased against him When they still haven't released a verdict? due to the fact that Mr. Apple isn't human or something! We should erase distinctions between political candidates Erm... were there distinctions of any description in the first place if one of the foremost political offices in the country is held by an apple? so that anyone and anything can and will be treated fairly. Then we'll see."
*apologies if you intended the archaic language

Effect:
Recent polls suggest @@LEADER@@ may be losing out to a sandwich in the campaign for the upcoming election. faulty washing machines often fare poorly in the workplace**
**I want this to look less like an infringement on player authority

Option 2:
"Firstly I can confirm that Mr. Apple is in fact, female How did this happen? and that other person was dumb," said says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a self-proclaimed 'debunker of dumbness.' "In fact, this whole court case How did that happen? is dumb. Why are even trying an apple, much less electing one? We should crack down on this dumbness, maybe fund an anti-dumb patrol or something.. you're all dumb." A bit too centred on the principle of "dumbness," rather than @@RANDOMNAME@@'s suggestion that apples should not be eligible to stand election. This is my main criticism of this option.

Effect:
Smiley-faced cereal brands face bankruptcy as anti-dumb patrols boycott their products for being "too tempting to play with like a toy." Firstly, how? Secondly, not only wonderfully un-snarky, but also refer to my criticism on apples being elected.

Option 3:
"Perhaps it is not these ramblings we should be talking about, but rather, the actual case.," Piped pipes @@RANDOMNAME@@, a senior member of the jury What if your nation doesn't have trial by jury?. "I say we try Mr. Apple like any other citizen of @@NAME@@ Since when did non-sapient objects like apples become citizens of @@NAME@@ in the first place?. We dig into his records and see if there are any backings for these claims How did he/she manage to find themselves in court in the first place?. Although I will need funding to compensate for the fact that we're investigating a pome piece of fruit, something never done before (see above whinge about apples becoming @@@DEMONYMPLURAL@@). Besides, something like this might come up again It's funny that everybody's slinging around mud concerning whether or not the apple should face trial whilst completely dodging the question of whether or not it should stand for office in the first place, isn't it?. Good to be prepared." Surely jurors don't make these sorts of demands for every court case, do they not?

Effect:
The Department of Criminal Investigation into Milk-based Products Inquiry into Delinquent Dairy Products has earned the ire of lactose-intolerants

Just so you know guys, this my 1st issue and I don't plan on releasing it for a while, 'till I deem it ready or just scrap it.

PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2018 3:07 pm
by Australian rePublic
Hilarious! :clap: :clap: :clap:

Perhaps you can benefit a little from this song
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yQ9IOEpGlr4

PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2018 3:11 pm
by -Manchukuo
Great. 16/10.

PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2018 5:39 pm
by Lakhovia
Tinhampton wrote:Here come the men in blue, quality defenders...
Lakhovia wrote:The dilemma: After a harrowing election How harrowing?, some citizens of @@NAME@@ had successfully voted an apple Main criticism of the issue: How will one be able to tell whether or not one is able to elect non-sapient objects? as their local governor What if your nation doesn't have decentralisation/devolution/localism as a policy?. Two years later the same apple is being tried for corruption How did this happen? and many are debating over the validity of the case What if your nation has no courts?.

Validity?

Option 1:
"Mr. Apple deserves not does not deserve* this treatment!" screams @@RANDOMNAME@@, a fanatical supporter for the fruit in question. "The court is biased against him When they still haven't released a verdict? due to the fact that Mr. Apple isn't human or something! We should erase distinctions between political candidates Erm... were there distinctions of any description in the first place if one of the foremost political offices in the country is held by an apple? so that anyone and anything can and will be treated fairly. Then we'll see."
*apologies if you intended the archaic language

Effect:
Recent polls suggest @@LEADER@@ may be losing out to a sandwich in the campaign for the upcoming election. faulty washing machines often fare poorly in the workplace**
**I want this to look less like an infringement on player authority

Option 2:
"Firstly I can confirm that Mr. Apple is in fact, female How did this happen? and that other person was dumb," said says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a self-proclaimed 'debunker of dumbness.' "In fact, this whole court case How did that happen? is dumb. Why are even trying an apple, much less electing one? We should crack down on this dumbness, maybe fund an anti-dumb patrol or something.. you're all dumb." A bit too centred on the principle of "dumbness," rather than @@RANDOMNAME@@'s suggestion that apples should not be eligible to stand election. This is my main criticism of this option.

Effect:
Smiley-faced cereal brands face bankruptcy as anti-dumb patrols boycott their products for being "too tempting to play with like a toy." Firstly, how? Secondly, not only wonderfully un-snarky, but also refer to my criticism on apples being elected.

Option 3:
"Perhaps it is not these ramblings we should be talking about, but rather, the actual case.," Piped pipes @@RANDOMNAME@@, a senior member of the jury What if your nation doesn't have trial by jury?. "I say we try Mr. Apple like any other citizen of @@NAME@@ Since when did non-sapient objects like apples become citizens of @@NAME@@ in the first place?. We dig into his records and see if there are any backings for these claims How did he/she manage to find themselves in court in the first place?. Although I will need funding to compensate for the fact that we're investigating a pome piece of fruit, something never done before (see above whinge about apples becoming @@@DEMONYMPLURAL@@). Besides, something like this might come up again It's funny that everybody's slinging around mud concerning whether or not the apple should face trial whilst completely dodging the question of whether or not it should stand for office in the first place, isn't it?. Good to be prepared." Surely jurors don't make these sorts of demands for every court case, do they not?

Effect:
The Department of Criminal Investigation into Milk-based Products Inquiry into Delinquent Dairy Products has earned the ire of lactose-intolerants

Just so you know guys, this my 1st issue and I don't plan on releasing it for a while, 'till I deem it ready or just scrap it.

Those are very fair criticisms I suppose. And I did mean to say deserves not. Can someone edit this to compensate for those statements in blue? The 2nd reply especially. Also, what's wrong with looking like it's infringing on player authority?

(Also apples are the female reproductive parts of an apple tree (actually a flower post-pollinization), so why wouldn't be female?)

PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2018 3:13 am
by Candlewhisper Archive
Is this based on something real?

Wouldn't an issue have arisen at the time the apple was first elected? Why was it elected, anyway?

I'd note that if it's as a joke candidate, we do have an issue about joke candidates already: #872 Party On, @@LEADER@@!

PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2018 4:07 am
by Lakhovia
Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Is this based on something real?

Wouldn't an issue have arisen at the time the apple was first elected? Why was it elected, anyway?

I'd note that if it's as a joke candidate, we do have an issue about joke candidates already: #872 Party On, @@LEADER@@!

Mmm hmm... I think this issue should only even be encountered if the player chose to elect an apple in the first place... Also, I've seen an issue that resulted in the national animal being able to run for office, so this isn't that crazy, I guess. Also there's this place in New Zealand which declared itself an independent country and has elected a turtle, a cat and another cat for president. The New Zealand government doesn't mind however.

PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2018 2:46 pm
by Australian rePublic
Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Is this based on something real?

Wouldn't an issue have arisen at the time the apple was first elected? Why was it elected, anyway?


No, if it was accused of corruption before the election, it wouldn't have won

PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2018 2:49 pm
by Australian rePublic
Shouldn't option 2 call it "Miss Apple"?