[submitted] Calling All @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@

[Trotterdam]

True. You've got to find a balance.

The clever way is to not just come up with synonyms for "says", but rather find interesting things for characters to do during their conversation besides just talking, such as using body language. People rare stand around like stoic statues with only their mouths moving in real life, especially if whatever they're talking about is important and interesting enough to actually be worth that many pages of story.

[Jutsa]

unless you're on some daytime television talk show

[Sacara]

The clever way is to not just come up with synonyms for "says", but rather find interesting things for characters to do during their conversation besides just talking, such as using body language. People rare stand around like stoic statues with only their mouths moving in real life, especially if whatever they're talking about is important and interesting enough to actually be worth that many pages of story.

Finding other words than just 'says' and describing what the character are not mutually exclusive; they can both be used.

[The Free Joy State]

The clever way is to not just come up with synonyms for "says", but rather find interesting things for characters to do during their conversation besides just talking, such as using body language. People rare stand around like stoic statues with only their mouths moving in real life, especially if whatever they're talking about is important and interesting enough to actually be worth that many pages of story.

Finding other words than just 'says' and describing what the character are not mutually exclusive; they can both be used.

It's not really fair to keep taking up Monitor's draft with this, so this will be my last post on the topic, but I have a suggested exercise (I'm sure I read it somewhere).

Try reading a handful of bestselling novels from the last fifty years (any that sound interesting), by well-regarded authors (19th century authors tended to use more purple prose, so you can get a distorted idea). Pay close attention how often, in dialogue, tags other than "says"/"said" are used, and how often -- in fact -- tags used at all (rather than showing the character in action).

NS has a very different style of writing, because -- as Monitor says -- you have to capture the whole essence of a character in just a few words of description. In a short story or novel, it's possible to let a picture build gradually.

Talking of NS:

If you want something for the Minister of Finance to do, how about something to make him seem more stressed, like:

… Minister of Finance, frantically scribbling sums over a topographic survey.

And can we talk about why @@ANIMAL@@s are learning to use phones?"

That line just comes a little too far out of left-field for me. I like absurdist humour, but I find that just a little too surreal (though it may be just me). How about altering slightly to:

And how about teaching some of those @@ANIMAL@@s to use our phones?"

Which is still in-keeping with the "three people and @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@" line and sets up for the effect.

[USS Monitor]

It's not really fair to keep taking up Monitor's draft with this, so this will be my last post on the topic, but I have a suggested exercise (I'm sure I read it somewhere).

TBF, I've contributed to the side-track myself.

Talking of NS:

If you want something for the Minister of Finance to do, how about something to make him seem more stressed, like:

… Minister of Finance, frantically scribbling sums over a topographic survey.

And can we talk about why @@ANIMAL@@s are learning to use phones?"

That line just comes a little too far out of left-field for me. I like absurdist humour, but I find that just a little too surreal (though it may be just me). How about altering slightly to:

And how about teaching some of those @@ANIMAL@@s to use our phones?"

Which is still in-keeping with the "three people and @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@" line and sets up for the effect.

I'll think these over.

[Australian rePublic]

Why is this specific to mountains? I get that elevation plays a role in it, but in places such as Australia, you can't get reception in many places, e.g. the Outback, even though the Outback's as flat as a pancake

[Newmanistan]

I think this is a great issue, but do think it might limit to mountainous areas a little too much. It affects flat rural areas as well.

Another thing to consider would be the addition of another option, since these are private phone companies. You could have the CEO of the leading company in coverage voicing their concern that mandating coverage would destroy their company because they now lose their competitive edge. That CEO then voices concern about how you are getting involved in private industry, and the affect of choosing this option would be to improve private industry at the expense of other factors. I am not an issue writer, so you know better then I what those factors may be.

[USS Monitor]

I think this is a great issue, but do think it might limit to mountainous areas a little too much. It affects flat rural areas as well.

I'm a sucker for mountains, but it'd be a simple change to make it "especially in mountainous regions" instead of just "in mountainous regions."

Another thing to consider would be the addition of another option, since these are private phone companies. You could have the CEO of the leading company in coverage voicing their concern that mandating coverage would destroy their company because they now lose their competitive edge. That CEO then voices concern about how you are getting involved in private industry, and the affect of choosing this option would be to improve private industry at the expense of other factors. I am not an issue writer, so you know better then I what those factors may be.

It doesn't specify whether the phone service is provided by private companies or a government agency, and I mostly want to keep it ambiguous so the issue doesn't have to be limited to capitalist nations. However, it is possible to limit specific options without limiting the whole issue, and a CEO complaining about government meddling in private industry would work for capitalist nations. Possibly with an alternate version for non-capitalist nations saying you should allow private companies to come in and provide phone service.

[Jutsa]

I personally disagree with having another set of options for that.

If private industry wanted to go out there, they would; and though the reasoning would be "impeding on the free market",
it'd probably just wind up functioning like the second option - unless you give them subsidies, which'd frankly be a bit like option 1.

It's even worse for nations without private industry; you'd completely change your market system because of cell phone towers,
and honestly the chances of them reaching out to rural areas are even less likely than the government doing so.

---

Another concern is still with option 3 and how it'd work with 911, and ironically this'd mean you could ban phones without banning computers...
so, honestly, I'm personally thinking that it might be better to instead make the third, radical option a "move everyone to the cities" option
(because that's actually been done before).

Also, as for the premise: It's simple enough, but as CWA's told me in many of my own drafts, it doesn't really pop that much.
"A few people are complaining about this one service being suboptimal". I'm not saying it's bad, but I'd get the talk if I did that.
(And I almost certainly will, sadly.)
ed: On the flip side, I actually don't mind that premise; Something about the short-and-simple reminds me of old NS.

---

Idk why I didn't use HR sooner; so helpful.

[USS Monitor]

I personally disagree with having another set of options for that.

If private industry wanted to go out there, they would; and though the reasoning would be "impeding on the free market",
it'd probably just wind up functioning like the second option

When I was mulling this over on my walk to the grocery store, I thought about making two versions of option 2 rather than adding a whole other option.

[Jutsa]

I thought about making two versions of option 2 rather than adding a whole other option.

Now that, on the other hand, looks like it could work.

[Sacara]

I personally disagree with having another set of options for that.

If private industry wanted to go out there, they would; and though the reasoning would be "impeding on the free market",
it'd probably just wind up functioning like the second option - unless you give them subsidies, which'd frankly be a bit like option 1.

It's even worse for nations without private industry; you'd completely change your market system because of cell phone towers,
and honestly the chances of them reaching out to rural areas are even less likely than the government doing so.

Why not have an option (or a doppelganger for two) that would incentive private businesses to do so?

[Jutsa]

or a doppelganger for two

If a doppelganger for anything it'd be one... but, yeah, that'd be a possibility, come to think of it.

[USS Monitor]

or a doppelganger for two

If a doppelganger for anything it'd be one... but, yeah, that'd be a possibility, come to think of it.

I don't think option 1 needs a doppleganger.

[Trotterdam]

I'm a sucker for mountains,

You don't see a lot of ships in mountains...

[Jutsa]

except in minecraft.

[USS Monitor]

I'm a sucker for mountains,

You don't see a lot of ships in mountains...

That's why I have such a fascination with them. The grass is always greener on the other side...

Joking aside, I'm not a ship IRL, and although I live near sea level, I like visiting the mountains or learning about mountain climbing stuff from reading, watching documentaries, etc. Serious mountain climbers are out of their minds, and I would never climb Everest or K2 or anything like that, but it still is fun to learn about it. And it's fun to do shorter climbs that don't require any fancy gear and won't give me such bad altitude sickness.

The last issue I wrote before this one is "Frozen Assets," which is also about the mountains.

Regarding this issue, there will be another draft, but it might be a couple days before it happens. It's a bit late to get it done tonight, and it looks like I am going to have a long day at work tomorrow.

[USS Monitor]

New draft.

The new versions of option 2 are too freshly-written for me to evaluate the quality in anything resembling an objective manner.

I haven't bothered about how option 3 would work with #911 because that's something that can be worked out backstage if someone picks this up to edit. As-written, it doesn't explicitly ban landlines, but that would be easy to change if banning all phones is more convenient for game mechanics. This draft doesn't specify if the people complaining about cell phone service live somewhere that doesn't have landline cables or if they just don't like being unable to take their phone with them when they go out.

Edit: forgot to say, I'm open to suggestions if anyone has a clever name for the phone company

[Jutsa]

dressed in lederhosen and accompanied by goats.

I should note that option 3's bulk of the dialogue is a single, very long sentence.

Aside from that, a good phone company name... uh, interesting...

you could make a name appropriate for the CEO's suggestion, like "Select Cells",
or you could make it ironic, like "Nationwide" or "Retrowave" or even "Allacross Communications" or something.
(i.e. a company claiming to be all-around and really not being that at all)

[USS Monitor]

dressed in lederhosen and accompanied by goats.

I should note that option 3's bulk of the dialogue is a single, very long sentence.

Aside from that, a good phone company name... uh, interesting...

you could make a name appropriate for the CEO's suggestion, like "Select Cells",
or you could make it ironic, like "Nationwide" or "Retrowave" or even "Allacross Communications" or something.
(i.e. a company claiming to be all-around and really not being that at all)

"Nationwide" is a possibility.

[Jutsa]

Only problem is that that's also the name of a irl insurance company or something, but I'm sure it's fine to use in the context of phones.

Heck, we've gotten bills from a healthcare company and internet/electric(not sure which) company named the same thing. Can't tell you how confusing that is.

[USS Monitor]

Only problem is that that's also the name of a irl insurance company or something, but I'm sure it's fine to use in the context of phones.

Heck, we've gotten bills from a healthcare company and internet/electric(not sure which) company named the same thing. Can't tell you how confusing that is.

I could make it Nationwide Mobile or Nationwide Telecom or something to avoid confusion with the insurance company.

[USS Monitor]

I've put in "Universal Telecom," which uses the same general concept, but can't be mistaken for an insurance company. Also corrected a couple of typos.

Planning to submit this soon if nobody has further suggestions. Now submitted.