Calling All @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@
[desc]Rural residents of @@NAME@@ are complaining about poor cell phone reception, especially in mountainous regions.
[option]Your phone rings and the @@MAN@@ on the other end says, "We need more cell phone towers so everyone can keep in touch *crackle* their friends and--" The line goes dead, but the phone rings again a moment later. "I lost my job because I *FFFF* *crackle* and I couldn't call my boss to tell @@HIM@@ because my phone reception--" The line goes dead again.
[effect]mountain climbing has gone downhill since all the best peaks are covered with cell towers
[option]"We need to stop wasting resources on underused infrastructure," says your Minister of Public Works. "We've got more important things to do than maintaining cell phone towers in the middle of nowhere that only three people and @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@ are going to use. Do @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ really use phones or was that just some local apparatchik trying to boost his numbers? 'Cause if they do..."
[effect]tech support lines are staffed by trained @@ANIMALPLURAL@@
[validity]no capitalism
[option]"How are we supposed to make a profit if we have to build cell phone towers that only three people and @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@ are going to use?" asks Universal Telecom CEO @@RANDOMNAME@@. "The government needs to back off and stop sticking their nose in private industry!" @@HE@@ pauses and @@HIS@@ face lights up as if @@HE@@ has just had a flash of inspiration. "I wonder if @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ can really use phones..."
[effect]tech support lines are staffed by trained @@ANIMALPLURAL@@
[validity]capitalism
[option]"We're better off without all those newfangled phones anyway!" says a grumpy old man that has just wandered into your office dressed in lederhosen and accompanied by goats. "Ban cell phones, teach those darn kids how to have a proper face to face conversation, get them off my lawn, and if you're really concerned about people being able to communicate over long distances you can make yodeling a required subject in schools."
[effect]highway signs instruct travelers to yodel for help in case of emergency