[SUBMITTED] Signing Off, Your God

[Fauxia]

What do y’all think?

[description] Only days before the anniversary of the day you took office, one of the holiest days of the year for the Cult of Nationalist Divinity, several impudent blasphemers have demanded you show them a sign of your divinity, or they will not attend the services and celebrations.

[validity] must have picked 363.5

[option] "We know you’re not a god, but we can keep the people thinking you are," asserts your Minister of Greasing the Wheels, attempting to hide a bag of silver. "Invite the ‘blasphemers’ to your office and pay each of them to say that you privately gave them a sign, and they now believe in you. This way, you can keep everyone under the illusion that you are divine, without trying to devise some trick to play. A few @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ goes a long way."
[fallout] it is written that heretics are poor but former agnostics seem all the richer

[option] "Oh Almighty @@LEADER@@, punish these fools!" shouts the bearded founder of the Cult of Nationalist Divinity, your Minister of Dogma, as the holy guards seize the previous speaker for blasphemy. "If I am correct in my belief that there is no hope for the pitiful fools who question your divinity, Blessed One, then I would advise your Holiness to end their disgusting lives with the fire of your divine wrath. Unworthy as I am, I suggest that you show your infinite power in the form of your acolytes using Holy Hand Grenades to blow your enemies to tiny bits, in your mercy. That will surely be a sufficient sign for all those who dare question your divinity!"
[fallout] it is written that heretics will perish in fire and hand grenade fragments

[option] "It is not our place to tell the Almighty what sign to perform!" declares the muffled voice of a believer prostrate on the floor. "The Great @@LEADER@@ can and surely will show the unbelievers in the way most appropriate in omniscient divine judgement. There is no need for tricks when you are omnipotent, surely. Oh @@LEADER@@, the world will gasp in awe at your divine majesty, if it is your will!"
[fallout] it is written that anything you can do @@LEADER@@ can do better

[option] "If I may, Almighty @@LEADER@@, it seems to me that a sign would defeat the purpose," says progressive young cultist @@RANDOMNAME@@, wearing the "Ring of @@LEADER@@" on @@HIS@@ index finger. "Those who only believe in your Divinity due to a sign do not truly love you for your divine providence, they only fear your divine justice. Perhaps, in your mercy, you would allow freedom of religion and choose not to show your might on the grounds that you cannot force anyone to truly believe. Those that worship Your Holiness will continue to do so, without the polluting sins of those that do not."
[fallout] it is written that unbelievers perish in fire and brimstone but that’s okay

[description] Only days before the anniversary of the day you took office, one of the holiest days of the year for the Cult of Nationalist Divinity, several impudent blasphemers have demanded you show them a sign of your divinity, or they will not attend the services and celebrations.

[validity] must have picked 363.5

[option] "Well, it was fun while it lasted," states @@RANDOMNAME@@, a pessimistic junior official, dumping most of a half empty glass of water onto the floor. "It was nice to get @@NAME@@ to believe you were divine, but I think these people have our number here. There really isn't anything to do but admit that you aren't a god, and allow people to worship their own religions again."
[fallout] the national religion is known to change on a weekly basis

[option] "You don’t have to do either," asserts your Minister of Greasing the Wheels, attempting to hide a bag of silver. "A few @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ can go a long way. Invite the ‘blasphemers’ to your office and pay each of them to say that you privately gave them a sign, and they now believe in you. This way, you can keep everyone under the illusion that you are god without going to extreme lengths."
[fallout] it is written that heretics are poor but former agnostics seem all the richer

[option] "Oh Almighty @@LEADER@@, punish these fools!" shouts the bearded founder of the Cult of Nationalist Divinity, your Minister of Dogma, as security guards seize the previous two speakers for blasphemy. "If I am correct in my belief that there is no hope for the pitiful fools who question your divinity, Blessed One, then I would advise your Holiness to end their disgusting lives with the fire of your divine wrath. Unworthy as I am, I suggest that you show your infinite power in the form of your acolytes using Holy Hand Grenades to blow your enemies to tiny bits, in your mercy. That will be the sign for all those who dare question your might and justice."
[fallout] it is written that heretics will perish in fire and hand grenade fragments

[option] "It is not our place to tell the Almighty what sign to perform," declares the muffled voice of a faithful servant prostrate on the floor. "@@LEADER@@ can and surely will show the unbelievers in the way most appropriate in omniscient divine judgement. There is no need for tricks when you are omnipotent, surely. Oh @@LEADER@@, the world will gasp in awe at your divine majesty, if it is your will!"
[fallout] it is written that anything you can do @@LEADER@@ can do better

[option] "If I may, Almighty @@LEADER@@, it seems to me that a sign would defeat the purpose," says progressive young cultist @@RANDOMNAME@@, wearing the "Ring of @@LEADER@@" on @@HIS@@ index finger. "Those who only believe in your Divinity due to a sign do not truly love you for your divine providence, they only fear your divine justice. Perhaps, in your mercy, you would allow freedom of religion and choose not to show your might on the grounds that you cannot force anyone to truly believe. Those that worship Your Holiness will continue to do so, without the polluting sins of those that do not."
[fallout] it is written that unbelievers perish in fire and brimstone but that’s okay

[description]Only a few days before the anniversary of the day you took office, one of the holiest days of the year for the Cult of Nationalist Divinity, several impudent blasphemers have stated publicly that they will only believe in your divinity if you show them a sign.

[validity] must have picked 363.5

[option] "Well, it was fun while it lasted," states @@RANDOMNAME@@, a pessimistic junior official, dumping most of a half empty glass of water onto the floor. "It was nice to get the people thinking you were God, but I think they have our number here. There really isn't anything to do but admit that you aren't a god, and allow people to worship their own religions again."
[fallout] the national religion is known to change on a weekly basis

[option] "You don’t have to do either," asserts your Minister of Investigating Corruption, attempting to hide a bag of silver. "A little @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ can go a long way. Invite the ‘blasphemers’ to your office and pay each of them to say that you privately gave a sign and they now believe in you. This way, you can keep everyone loyal under the illusion that you are god."
[fallout] it is written that heretics are poor but former agnostics seem all the richer

[option] "Oh Almighty @@LEADER@@, punish these fools!" shouts the bearded founder of the Cult of Nationalist Divinity, your Minister of Dogma, as security guards seize the previous two speakers for blasphemy. "If I am correct in my belief that there is no hope for the pitiful fools asking for a sign of your clear divinity, Blessed One, then I would advise your Holiness to end their disgusting lives with the fire of your divine wrath. You may, of course, show your infinite power, in the form of your acolytes using Holy Hand Grenades to blow your enemies to tiny bits, in your mercy. That will be the sign for all those who dare question your might and justice."
[fallout] it is written that heretics will perish in the fires of hand grenades

[option] "It is not our place to tell the Almighty what sign to perform," declares the muffled voice of a faithful servant prostrate on the floor. "@@LEADER@@ can and surely will show the unbelievers in the way most appropriate in omniscient divine judgement. There is no need for tricks when you are omnipotent, surely. Oh @@LEADER@@, let the world awe in your divine majesty!"
[fallout] it is written that anything you can do @@LEADER@@ can do better

[option] "If I may, Almighty @@LEADER@@, it seems to me that a sign would defeat the purpose," says progressive young cultist @@RANDOMNAME@@, wearing the ring of @@LEADER@@ on @@HIS@@ index finger. "Those who only believe in your Divinity due to a sign do not truly believe in you for love of what is good. It is only out of fear. Perhaps, in your mercy, you would allow freedom of religion and choose not to show your might on these grounds. Those that believe in your Holiness will continue to do so, without the polluting sins of those that do not.
[fallout] it is written that unbelievers perish in fire and brimstone but that’s okay

[description] Only a few days before the anniversary of the day you took office, one of the holiest days of the year for the Cult of Nationalist Divinity, several impudent blasphemers have stated publicly that they will only believe in your divinity if you show them a sign.

[validity] must have picked 363.5

[option] "Well, it was fun while it lasted," states @@RANDOMNAME@@, a pessimistic junior official, dumping most of a half empty glass of water onto the floor. "It was nice to get the people thinking you were God, but I think they have our number here. There really isn't anything to do but admit that you aren't a god, and allow people to worship their own religions again."
[fallout] the national religion is known to change on a weekly basis

[option] "You don’t have to do either," asserts your Minister of Investigating Corruption, attempting to hide a bag of silver. "A little @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ can go a long way. Invite the ‘blasphemers’ to your office and pay each of them to say that you privately gave a sign and they now believe in you. This way, you can keep everyone loyal under the illusion that you are god."
[fallout] it is written that heretics are poor but former agnostics seem all the richer

[option] "Burn the heretics!" shouts the bearded founder of the Cult of Nationalist Divinity, your Minister of Dogma, as security guards seize the previous speakers for blasphemy. "The apostates who demand a sign from you have no hope for the afterlife, I am sure, but you may have something to gain by showing a sign. I don't know a sign better than the death of these irreverent heretics! A few acolytes armed with your blessed explosives and stationed near the houses of these devil workers would certainly demonstrate your fiery wrath."
[fallout] it is written that heretics will perish in fire and brimstone

[option] "It is not our place to tell the Almighty what sign to perform," declares the muffled voice of a faithful servant prostrate on the floor. "The Almighty can and surely will show the unbelievers in the way most appropriate in omniscient divine judgement. There is no need for tricks when you are omnipotent."
[fallout] it is written that anything you can do @@LEADER@@ can do better

[option] "It seems to me that a sign would defeat the purpose," says progressive young cultist @@RANDOMNAME@@, wearing the ring of @@LEADER@@ on @@HIS@@ index finger. "You should believe in @@LEADER@@ due to love for the Almighty, not because of a sign shown. State that it is because you believe in freedom of religious choice that you decline to show a miracle, and allow other religions again. Those that love you will continue to worship you, and those that don’t will not soil our services with their unbelief."
[fallout] it is written that unbelievers perish in fire and brimstone but that’s okay

[Hediacrana]

I think all speakers who actually see leader (so not the first one, but for sure the third and fifth) as divine would probably address them with more reverence, like currently only the fourth speaker does. Maybe have them use a honorific like Your Holiness, or something to that effect?

[Fauxia]

I think all speakers who actually see leader (so not the first one, but for sure the third and fifth) as divine would probably address them with more reverence, like currently only the fourth speaker does. Maybe have them use a honorific like Your Holiness, or something to that effect?

That's a good point, I'll do that (also maybe expand option 4 a wee bit, it seems a little too skinny to me right now."

[Australian rePublic]

Maybe research Ancient Egyptian mythology a bit. They seemed to think of pharos as divine

[Fauxia]

Edited for second draft

[Chan Island]

Maybe research Ancient Egyptian mythology a bit. They seemed to think of pharos as divine

Which was actually a fairly common theme among ancient peoples an religions in much of the world. The idea of the god-king is one of those things that was remarkably consistent across continents and eras. But that discussion would probably derail things.

This is a quality draft Fauxia. The effect lines in particular are very nice (the last one made me laugh out loud when I first saw it). I will very much be monitoring this.

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

Nice draft, Fauxia!

[option] "You don’t have to do either," asserts your Minister of Investigating Corruption, attempting to hide a bag of silver. "A little @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ can go a long way. Invite the ‘blasphemers’ to your office and pay each of them to say that you privately gave a sign and they now believe in you. This way, you can keep everyone loyal under the illusion that you are god."
[fallout] it is written that heretics are poor but former agnostics seem all the richer

It seems it would be better if this person was the Minister of Greasing The Wheels or something like that

[option] "It is not our place to tell the Almighty what sign to perform," declares the muffled voice of a faithful servant prostrate on the floor. "@@LEADER@@ can and surely will show the unbelievers in the way most appropriate in omniscient divine judgement. There is no need for tricks when you are omnipotent, surely. Oh @@LEADER@@, let the world awe in your divine majesty!"
[fallout] it is written that anything you can do @@LEADER@@ can do better

I think "awe" is a transitive verb, not an intransitive one. Maybe say something like "let the world gasp in awe [...]"

Maybe research Ancient Egyptian mythology a bit. They seemed to think of pharos as divine

Which was actually a fairly common theme among ancient peoples an religions in much of the world. The idea of the god-king is one of those things that was remarkably consistent across continents and eras.

There is actually a word for this: apotheosis.

[Fauxia]

Thanks for the help, FuF! Will update.

[Fauxia]

Third draft up

[Jutsa]

Just dropped by to say I really like this draft.

[The Official United Nations]

The last one seems to include a more conventional religious viewpoint (akin to Jesus repudiating those who asked for signs), however for it then unnecessarily tags on a religious freedom option which you might not agree to. If such a view on 'requesting signs from the deity' were an option, then it should probably be left as its own option on the question rather than tacking on a religious freedom aspect which is less relevant to the central question of this issue.

[Fauxia]

Tweaked a few things, and removed Option 1 because upon reflection, it did the same as Option 5 (now 4)

[Fauxia]

Last call before submission?

[The Marsupial Illuminati]

Last call before submission?

You can submit this now.

[Jutsa]

Agreed.

Also, nice seeing your drafts again, Fauxia. :3

[Fauxia]

Submitted. Thanks to all those who helped.

[Jutsa]

Good luck! It's a really good one.

[Australian rePublic]

Good Luck

[Krogon]

Good luck!