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[ACCEPTED] En Bloc

A place to spoil daily issues for those who haven't had them yet, snigger at typos, and discuss ideas for new ones.
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Jutsa
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5118
Founded: Dec 06, 2015
Civil Rights Lovefest

[ACCEPTED] En Bloc

Postby Jutsa » Tue May 29, 2018 9:17 pm

Alright, take... I guess three now... :rofl:

Draft 3.0
Title: People are Strange When You're @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@
The Issue: Upon allowing even @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ to vote, it was discovered that people have been training large teams of @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ to vote for specific, pro-@@ANIMAL@@ candidates, leading to what many have called "legal voter fraud".
Validity: Chain from #502.3 and #502.4

Option 1: "Have you taken a good, hard look at what congress has become? It's full of idiots trying to give @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ more rights than us humans!" declares @@RANDOMNAME@@, @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@phobe, trying to get @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@ off of @@HIS@@ leg. "All because pro-animal yahoos are allowed to vote tens, even hundreds of times over through their 'associates'. Clearly, we need to forbid @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ from voting."
[effect] anyone deemed unhuman is banished from having a voice in society

Option 2: "Shh! Don't say that around Mr. Puffles," says Mama @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, a self-proclaimed animal foster, trying to put his hands on what he thinks are Mr. Puffles's ears. "What we need is to crack down on those mean baddies trying to abuse the system, and install an unbiased program to teach @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ how to vote freely, of their own mind."
[effect] schools where @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ think alike are shut down on suspicion of sabotage

Option 3: "No matter what, this system is doomed to be exploited," sighs @@RANDOMNAME@@, watching as Mr. Puffles whizzes on your floor. "Honestly, you have more common sense than half the politicians voted in, and that says more about the human voters than the @@ANIMALPLURAL@@. How's about you disqualify anyone who doesn't vote for you or your party? That way sensible people who know how to run a nation stay in control."
[effect] @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ who put their appendages on a face that isn't @@LEADER@@'s are incarcerated


Title: People are Strange When You're @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@
The Issue: Upon allowing even @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ to vote, voting booths have been left in a state so bad that hardworking citizens refuse to step foot in them — and, at times, it is literally impossible to.
Validity: Chain from #502.3 and #502.4

Option 1: "Have you taken a good, hard look at the voting stations?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, showing you a station so soiled that you could've sworn it was a porta potty. "It's truly disgusting. We need to create a program for @@ANIMALPLURAL@@, and people alike, on how to vote with proper etiquette."
[effect] @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ are trained to vote for a specific candidate.

Option 2: @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ can't even vote, you idiot!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@phobe, while trying to get @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@ off of @@HIS@@ leg. "We just take a guess at whatever ballots are left readable! It's obvious we need to restrict voting rights to only us humans."
[effect] anyone deemed unhuman is banished from having a voice in society

Option 3: "Shh! Don't say that around Mr. Puffles," says Mama @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, a self-proclaimed animal fosterer, trying to put his hands on what he thinks are Mr. Puffles's ears. "What we really need are more janitors, create more ballots, and have more voting booths. That'll create new job opportunities, as well as keep the stations clean!"
[effect] goldfish guppies are taught alongside professors on how to pick out new rulers

Option 4: "So you don't think it's a human that used those ballot sheets as toilet paper?" interrogates @@RANDOMNAME@@, whose family is frankly more @@ANIMAL@@ than human. "It's obvious that the problem extends to all walks of life. It's about time we revoke voting from anyone who causes trouble, like setting fire to the booths, or voting for the wrong person... that sort of thing."
[effect] people who put their appendages on anything other than @@LEADER@@'s name are arrested


Title: People are Strange When You're @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@
The Issue: Upon allowing even @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ to vote, your nation has been ravaged by idiotic or fringe politicians, eaten or shredded ballots, and even some unspeakable conditions of the polling booths.
Validity: Chain from #502.3 and #502.4

Option 1: "Have you taken a good, hard look at congress?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@phobe, while trying to get @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@ off of @@HIS@@ leg. "It's a nightmare! @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ have no idea as to how to vote; they just stick a muddy appendage somewhere on the ballot, and we take a guess as to which candidate they 'chose'. It's obvious we need to restrict voting rights to only us humans!"
[effect] anyone deemed unhuman is banished from having a voice in society

Option 2: "Shh! Don't say that around Mr. Puffles," says Mama @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, a self-proclaimed animal fosterer, trying to put his hands on what he thinks are Mr. Puffles's ears. "Yes, our system could use a bit of work; all new things do. What we need is an education program to teach @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ how to vote properly. In fact, we could probably teach all animals how to vote — even humans!"
[effect] goldfish guppies are taught alongside professors on how to pick out new rulers

Option 3: "So you don't think it's a human that used those ballot sheets as toilet paper?" interrogates @@RANDOMNAME@@, whose family is frankly more @@ANIMAL@@ than human. "It's obvious that the problem extends to all walks of life. We have to forbid anyone who causes trouble from voting, and set up strict guidelines on how to do so, like not lighting the booth on fire, or voting for the right person... that sort of thing."
[effect] @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ who put their appendages on a face that isn't @@LEADER@@'s are incarcerated
Last edited by Jutsa on Thu Nov 15, 2018 4:06 am, edited 19 times in total.
Here is a list containing a bunch of factbooks I created that are Got Issues? related.
>List of issue ideas
>List of missing issues/options
>List of accepted issues~
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The Kind-of-United States
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 56
Founded: Feb 13, 2018
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby The Kind-of-United States » Wed May 30, 2018 8:20 am

One, this sounds like a great premise! I personally have not recieved that issue but it seems like this is a good and necessary followup issue.

Two, minor detail--"Mama @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, a self-proclaimed animal fosterer, trying to put his hands on what he thinks are Mr. Puffles's ears." The word "Mama" sounds like a woman, but you then switch to he/his pronouns. Again, very minor.

Three, :rofl:
"There are a great many people in the country today, who through no fault of their own, are sane. Some of them were born sane, while others became sane later in their lives. It is up to people like us, who are out of our tiny little minds, to help them overcome their sanity." --Monty Python's Flying Circus

One published issue:
viewtopic.php?f=13&t=88&start=50#1008

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Jutsa
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5118
Founded: Dec 06, 2015
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Jutsa » Wed May 30, 2018 9:05 am

2) that was actually intentional... ;)
I can easily change it if I have to

Glad you liked it. :lol:
Here is a list containing a bunch of factbooks I created that are Got Issues? related.
>List of issue ideas
>List of missing issues/options
>List of accepted issues~
^ I know this is hardly a flashy signature, but at least I have one now.

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Chan Island
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5487
Founded: Nov 26, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Chan Island » Wed May 30, 2018 11:07 am

This is much better than your previous draft. Definitely a fan of this version! :p
Conserative Morality wrote:"It's not time yet" is a tactic used by reactionaries in every era. "It's not time for democracy, it's not time for capitalism, it's not time for emancipation." Of course it's not time. It's never time, not on its own. You make it time. If you're under fire in the no-man's land of WW1, you start digging a foxhole even if the ideal time would be when you *aren't* being bombarded, because once you wait for it to be 'time', other situations will need your attention, assuming you survive that long. If the fields aren't furrowed, plow them. If the iron is not hot, make it so. If society is not ready, change it.

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Jutsa
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5118
Founded: Dec 06, 2015
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Jutsa » Wed May 30, 2018 2:03 pm

I've also found that toilets have been appearing in a scarily larger portion of my drafts.
Here is a list containing a bunch of factbooks I created that are Got Issues? related.
>List of issue ideas
>List of missing issues/options
>List of accepted issues~
^ I know this is hardly a flashy signature, but at least I have one now.

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Hopeington
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 156
Founded: Jan 09, 2018
Ex-Nation

Postby Hopeington » Wed May 30, 2018 2:09 pm

Jutsa wrote:Alright, take two... :rofl:

Title: People are Strange When You're @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@
The Issue: Upon allowing even @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ to vote, your nation has been ravished by idiotic or fringe politicians, eaten or shredded ballots, and even some unspeakable conditions of the polling booths.
Validity: Chain from #502.3 and #502.4

Option 1: "Have you taken a good, hard look at congress?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@phobe, while trying to get @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@ off of @@HIS@@ leg. "It's a nightmare! @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ have no idea as to how to vote; they just stick a muddy appendage somewhere on the ballot, and we take a guess as to which candidate they 'chose'. It's obvious we need to restrict voting rights to only us humans!"
[effect] anyone deemed unhuman is banished from having a voice in society

Option 2: "Shh! Don't say that around Mr. Puffles," says Mama @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, a self-proclaimed animal fosterer, trying to put his hands on what he thinks are Mr. Puffles's ears. "Yes, our system could use a bit of work; all new things do. What we need is an education program to teach @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ how to vote properly. In fact, we could probably teach all animals how to vote — even humans!"
[effect] goldfish guppies are taught alongside professors on how to pick out new rulers

Option 3: "So you don't think it's a human that used those ballot sheets as toilet paper?" interrogates @@RANDOMNAME@@, whose family is frankly more @@ANIMAL@@ than human. "It's obvious that the problem extends to all walks of life. We have forbid anyone who causes trouble from voting, and set up strict guidelines on how to do so, like not lighting the booth on fire, or voting for the right person... that sort of thing."
[effect] @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ who put their appendages on a face that isn't @@LEADER@@'s are incarcerated



This is all I could think of.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VRuLpnXRK8

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Frieden-und Freudenland
Issues Editor
 
Posts: 2251
Founded: Jul 30, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Frieden-und Freudenland » Thu May 31, 2018 8:59 am

Jutsa wrote:Alright, take two... :rofl:

Title: People are Strange When You're @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@
The Issue: Upon allowing even @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ to vote, your nation has been ravished by idiotic or fringe politicians, eaten or shredded ballots, and even some unspeakable conditions of the polling booths.
Validity: Chain from #502.3 and #502.4

Option 1: "Have you taken a good, hard look at congress?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@phobe, while trying to get @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@ off of @@HIS@@ leg. "It's a nightmare! @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ have no idea as to how to vote; they just stick a muddy appendage somewhere on the ballot, and we take a guess as to which candidate they 'chose'. It's obvious we need to restrict voting rights to only us humans!"
[effect] anyone deemed unhuman is banished from having a voice in society

Option 2: "Shh! Don't say that around Mr. Puffles," says Mama @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, a self-proclaimed animal fosterer, trying to put his hands on what he thinks are Mr. Puffles's ears. "Yes, our system could use a bit of work; all new things do. What we need is an education program to teach @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ how to vote properly. In fact, we could probably teach all animals how to vote — even humans!"
[effect] goldfish guppies are taught alongside professors on how to pick out new rulers

Option 3: "So you don't think it's a human that used those ballot sheets as toilet paper?" interrogates @@RANDOMNAME@@, whose family is frankly more @@ANIMAL@@ than human. "It's obvious that the problem extends to all walks of life. We have forbid anyone who causes trouble from voting, and set up strict guidelines on how to do so, like not lighting the booth on fire, or voting for the right person... that sort of thing."
[effect] @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ who put their appendages on a face that isn't @@LEADER@@'s are incarcerated

Nice issue. :clap:

I think you need a "to" between "have" and "forbid" in the last option.
When I write, I don't have an accent.

My issues

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)"
~Walt Whitman

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Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 22291
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Mon Jun 04, 2018 5:01 am

ravaged =/= ravished. :p

However, broadly, I'd be more inclined to say that this isn't a good consequence issue.

When you make an issue that follows up on a decision, it shouldn't just question that decision, it should present a story that has happened BECAUSE of that decision.
editors like linguistic ambiguity more than most people

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Jutsa
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5118
Founded: Dec 06, 2015
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Jutsa » Mon Jun 04, 2018 7:04 am

Yeah, I can see that...
though, you wouldn't happen to know a better followup to "animals vote for national rulers", off hand? :P

Fixing ravished anyway. :blush:
Also added "to"; forgot to mention that last week >.>
Here is a list containing a bunch of factbooks I created that are Got Issues? related.
>List of issue ideas
>List of missing issues/options
>List of accepted issues~
^ I know this is hardly a flashy signature, but at least I have one now.

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Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 22291
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Mon Jun 04, 2018 8:24 am

Maybe focus on one consequence you mentioned - the soiled voting booths. Have complaints be coming in about the condition that animal voters are leaving voting booths in, not to mention the number of spoiled ballot papers. Then have a load of solutions for that specific problem.
editors like linguistic ambiguity more than most people

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Frieden-und Freudenland
Issues Editor
 
Posts: 2251
Founded: Jul 30, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Frieden-und Freudenland » Mon Jun 04, 2018 8:56 am

Geez, there should be a law against pulling dolphins out of the sea and dragging them to the polls to make them vote :p

Well, at least they are aquatic mammals, so they can breathe out of water for some time. But what if my @@ANIMAL@@ is a fish? Will you bring it in in an aquarium?

And what if it is a gigantic animal, like a blue whale?

That being said, I agree that NS issues about @@ANIMAL@@s hardly take such things into account, leading to many ridiculous consequences in my case. (I remember a police officer suggesting that they should be riding dolphins, since cars were banned. :rofl: )
When I write, I don't have an accent.

My issues

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)"
~Walt Whitman

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Chan Island
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5487
Founded: Nov 26, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Chan Island » Mon Jun 04, 2018 9:49 am

Frieden-und Freudenland wrote:Geez, there should be a law against pulling dolphins out of the sea and dragging them to the polls to make them vote :p

Well, at least they are aquatic mammals, so they can breathe out of water for some time. But what if my @@ANIMAL@@ is a fish? Will you bring it in in an aquarium?

And what if it is a gigantic animal, like a blue whale?

That being said, I agree that NS issues about @@ANIMAL@@s hardly take such things into account, leading to many ridiculous consequences in my case. (I remember a police officer suggesting that they should be riding dolphins, since cars were banned. :rofl: )


Obviously after you give the dolphins robot legs, silly :p
Conserative Morality wrote:"It's not time yet" is a tactic used by reactionaries in every era. "It's not time for democracy, it's not time for capitalism, it's not time for emancipation." Of course it's not time. It's never time, not on its own. You make it time. If you're under fire in the no-man's land of WW1, you start digging a foxhole even if the ideal time would be when you *aren't* being bombarded, because once you wait for it to be 'time', other situations will need your attention, assuming you survive that long. If the fields aren't furrowed, plow them. If the iron is not hot, make it so. If society is not ready, change it.

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Trotterdam
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 9175
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Mon Jun 04, 2018 3:00 pm

Frieden-und Freudenland wrote:Well, at least they are aquatic mammals, so they can breathe out of water for some time. But what if my @@ANIMAL@@ is a fish? Will you bring it in in an aquarium?
You could try building polling booths underwater, but what would you make the paper and ink out of? I doubt normal voting forms are waterproof.

Frieden-und Freudenland wrote:That being said, I agree that NS issues about @@ANIMAL@@s hardly take such things into account, leading to many ridiculous consequences in my case. (I remember a police officer suggesting that they should be riding dolphins, since cars were banned. :rofl: )
That would be a legitimate strategy in Venice!

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Jutsa
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5118
Founded: Dec 06, 2015
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Jutsa » Fri Jun 15, 2018 2:48 pm

Alrighty, updated it!

Actually, I updated it yesterday, and then thought "Y'know, there's a far more interesting angle that this could take",
so I changed it from being about soiled booths to being about people using @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ to get extra votes.

Thoughts on the current version?
Here is a list containing a bunch of factbooks I created that are Got Issues? related.
>List of issue ideas
>List of missing issues/options
>List of accepted issues~
^ I know this is hardly a flashy signature, but at least I have one now.

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Shwe Tu Colony
Senator
 
Posts: 4398
Founded: Sep 27, 2016
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Shwe Tu Colony » Fri Jun 15, 2018 2:51 pm

Random title suggestion: maybe "My Vote is an Animal" as a reference to the Of Monsters & Men album My Head is an Animal.
Cherissime amis! Behold, Shwe Tu Colony/World Machine, the paracosm of a spoiled brat, taking everything, sparing nothing, mingling the childhood incroyable with the angst of a teen lad.
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Jutsa
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5118
Founded: Dec 06, 2015
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Jutsa » Sat Jun 23, 2018 9:04 am

Tbh that would be nice, but that would be better for an issue about animals going into politics — which I believe we already have, sadly. :P
Here is a list containing a bunch of factbooks I created that are Got Issues? related.
>List of issue ideas
>List of missing issues/options
>List of accepted issues~
^ I know this is hardly a flashy signature, but at least I have one now.

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Australian rePublic
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 21789
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Australian rePublic » Sat Jun 23, 2018 9:40 am

Wouldn't it by ironic if anti-@@ANIMAL@@ activists also trained the animals?
Last edited by Australian rePublic on Sat Jun 23, 2018 9:46 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Jutsa
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5118
Founded: Dec 06, 2015
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Jutsa » Fri Jul 13, 2018 6:44 pm

That actually would be pretty funny, but I'm not really sure it'd work with this narrative, tbh.

A bump, regardless, though. Thanks for your input, and if you think you might have a way of putting it in without disturbing its flow to much, feel free to suggest something. :)
Here is a list containing a bunch of factbooks I created that are Got Issues? related.
>List of issue ideas
>List of missing issues/options
>List of accepted issues~
^ I know this is hardly a flashy signature, but at least I have one now.

User avatar
Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 22291
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Mon Jul 16, 2018 3:03 am

Jutsa wrote:Alrighty, updated it!

Actually, I updated it yesterday, and then thought "Y'know, there's a far more interesting angle that this could take",
so I changed it from being about soiled booths to being about people using @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ to get extra votes.

Thoughts on the current version?


I love the new premise. Good issue.
editors like linguistic ambiguity more than most people

User avatar
Jutsa
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5118
Founded: Dec 06, 2015
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Jutsa » Mon Jul 23, 2018 11:05 am

I'll leave this one up for another week unless anyone thinks this should be kept up longer or submitted earlier,
but for now: Weekly bump!

Thank you, CWA. I much prefer this premise, myself. :)
Here is a list containing a bunch of factbooks I created that are Got Issues? related.
>List of issue ideas
>List of missing issues/options
>List of accepted issues~
^ I know this is hardly a flashy signature, but at least I have one now.

User avatar
Jutsa
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5118
Founded: Dec 06, 2015
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Jutsa » Fri Jul 27, 2018 9:06 am

Submitted! Just in time for me to upload yet another draft about animals. :rofl:

Thank you all. :)
Here is a list containing a bunch of factbooks I created that are Got Issues? related.
>List of issue ideas
>List of missing issues/options
>List of accepted issues~
^ I know this is hardly a flashy signature, but at least I have one now.


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