[description] Finally getting around to dealing with your mail, you see a tip-off from an anonymous government official. The tip claims a disproportionate amount of cabinet members have ties to untrustworthy organizations. It includes photographic evidence of several at a meeting of the secretive group known as the Sons of a Brick.
[validity] all nations
[option] "I’m not a Son of a b- okay, I am, I am," stutters your Foreign Minister after looking at the photograph. "Listen, @@LEADER@@, the Sons of a Brick are really just a group of friends that like to eat, drink, and discuss how to subvert- ahem, improve the country. Many @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ heroes were Sons of a Brick; our Secret World History textbook says so! There's no reason to fear us. In fact, we can send you some of our special cake as a token of gratitude for being such an awesome leader."
[fallout] social class is defined by the number of secret societies one is a member of
[option] "I don't like this at all," whispers the anonymous junior official, in a voice inaudible to anyone other than you. "We clearly don't know enough about these Sons of a Brick to trust them, or any secret society. There is no choice but to dismiss all ministers with ties to the Sons of a Brick, and begin secretly investigating all secret societies, to make sure that they aren't secretly attempting to overthrow you." [fallout] the Ministry of Secret Occultist Brotherhood Screening is the largest ministry but no is supposed to know
[option] "These people must be experts in subversion!" murmurs your Minister of Shadows from who knows where. "You should pay the Sons of a Brick to to infiltrate the governments of other nations while publicly disavowing them and any ministers tied to them. We can rule other nations while they are still technically sovereign. There’s a chance that they try to infiltrate our nation as well, but I’m sure if we keep the money rolling in, they’ll continue doing our bidding." [fallout] death by cyanide pill is oddly common among the Sons of a Brick
[description] As you finally can get around to dealing with your mail, you see a tip-off from an anonymous government official. The tip claims a disproportionate amount of cabinet members have ties to untrustworthy organizations. It includes photographic evidence of several at a meeting of the secretive group known as the Sons of a Brick.
[validity] all nations
[option] "I'm not a Son of a b- okay, I am, I am," stutters your Foreign Minister after looking at the photograph. "Listen, @@LEADER@@, the Sons of a Brick are really just a group of friends that like to eat, drink, and discuss how to subvert- ahem, improve the country. Many @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ heroes were Sons of a Brick; our Secret World History textbook says so! There's no reason to fear us. In fact, we can send you some of our special cake as a token of gratitude for being such an awesome leader." [fallout] social class is defined by the number of secret societies one is a member of
[option] "I don't like this at all," whispers the shadow of the anonymous junior official, in a voice inaudible to anyone other than you. "We clearly don't know enough about these Sons of a Brick to trust them, or any secret society. There is no choice but to dismiss all ministers with ties to the Sons of a Brick, and begin the investigation of all secret societies, to make sure that they aren't attempting to overthrow you." [fallout] the Ministry of Secret Occultist Brotherhood Screening is the largest ministry but no one knows that
[option] "There’s an easy way to investigate this, @@LEADER@@!" exclaims your ever-present Minister of Creative Solutions, holding a toy trolley in one hand and several small figurines in the other. "You yourself must join the Sons of a Brick and investigate them yourself. If they seem subversive to you, you can shut them down. If the organization is safe, then let them continue! A little investigation can solve anything." [fallout] @@LEADER@@ is known as "the government’s private investigator"
[description] You received an anonymous tip-off in a letter from an anonymous junior official of an undisclosed ministry that several of your cabinet ministers are members of the secretive organization known as the Sons of a Brick. The letter included photographic evidence of five ministers in a meeting of the Sons of a Brick. several of your cabinet ministers are members of the secretive organization known as the Sons of a Brick. The letter included photographic evidence of five ministers in a meeting of the Sons of a Brick.
[validity] all nations
[option] "I'm not a Son of a b- okay, I am, I am," stutters your Foreign Minister after looking at the photograph. "Listen though @@LEADER@@, The Sons of a Brick are really just a group of friends that like to eat, drink, and discuss how to subvert- I mean, improve the country. Many @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ heroes were Sons of a Brick; just read our Secret World History textbook! There's no reason to fear us. In fact, we can send you some of our special cake as a token of gratitude for being such an awesome leader." [fallout] social class is defined by the number of secret societies one is a member of
[option] "I don't like this at all," whispers the shadow of the anonymous junior official, in a voice inaudible to anyone else. "We clearly don't know enough about these Sons of a Brick to trust them, or any secret society. There is no choice left but to dismiss all ministers with ties to the Sons of a Brick, and begin the investigation of all secret societies, to make sure that they aren't attempting to subvert the nation." [fallout] the Ministry of Studying Secretly Subversive Organizations is the largest in the government
[description] You received an anonymous tip-off in a letter from an anonymous junior official of an undisclosed ministry that several of your cabinet ministers are members of the secretive organization known as the Sons of a Brick. The letter included photographic evidence of five ministers in a meeting of the Sons of a Brick.
[validity] all nations
[option] "I'm not a Son of a b- okay, I am, I am," stutters your Foreign Minister after looking at the photograph. "Listen though @@LEADER@@, The Sons of a Brick are really just a group of friends that like to eat, drink, and discuss how to subvert- I mean, improve the country. Many @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ heroes were Sons of a Brick; just read our Secret World History textbook! There's no reason to fear us. In fact, we can send you some of our special cake as a token of gratitude for being such an awesome leader." [fallout] social class is defined by the number of secret societies one is a member of
[option] "I don't like this at all," whispers the shadow of the anonymous junior official, in a voice inaudible to anyone else. "We clearly don't know enough about these Sons of a Brick to trust them, or any secret society. There is no choice left but to dismiss all ministers with ties to the Sons of a Brick, and begin the investigation of all secret societies, to make sure that they aren't attempting to subvert the nation." [fallout] the Ministry of Studying Secretly Subversive Organizations is the largest in the government
Must have compulsory atheism [option] "@@LEADER@@, the real issue here is clear," states the Deputy Minister of Atheism, reading philosopher Frederick Neat. "The Sons of a Brick are clearly a religious organization- in their meetings they talk about "the spirits" and "up high" and other clearly religious mumbo-jumbo. You must prosecute all these Ministers for their subversion, and increase funding for the Ministry of Atheism so we can better investigate secret religious organizations, with myself as the new Minister, of course. [fallout] pubs and bars are considered places of subversive religious activity
Must allow Violetism [option] "It is something far more precious than the country that the Sons of a Brick attempt to subvert!" screams a Violetist Priest, waving his hands violently either in anger or to summon a spirit. "In their meetings, the Sons of a Brick plot to corrupt the teachings of Her Purpleness. We Violetists demand that you dismiss the Ministers involved, repent before us for appointing such irreverent individuals as Cabinet Ministers, and replace the subversive ministers with Violetists. Do this, or death and destruction shall rain upon us all!" [fallout] it seems one cult always has significant power over the cabinet
[description] You didn’t believe the tip-off that your cabinet ministers were all members of the secretive organization known as the Stonebreakers. Now, you enter a dimly-lit room to the sound of familiar voices singing "we do, we do." You turn the lights on to your ministers, all wearing traditional Stonebreaker cloaks. The tip-off was right.
[validity] all nations
[option] "@@LEADER@@, the Stonebreakers are just a brotherhood of friends, not a secret society," explains Finance Minister, removing the hood that was distorting his face. "We discuss things, have fun, and party, mostly party. It’s not like we caused @@CAPITAL@@gate or fund Ultra-Violet or something. In fact, many @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ heroes were Stonebreakers. We’re totally trustworthy." [fallout] social class is defined by the number of secret societies one is a member of
[option] "I don’t like this one bit, @@LEADER@@," whispers your aid, who slipped into the room right next to you without your noticing. "We don’t know enough about these Stonebreakers to trust them, especially considering there’s no evidence any @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ heroes were actually Stonebreakers. The fact that the entire cabinet is made up of Stonebreakers just makes it more suspicious. Investigate the organization, and dismiss all government officials with Stonebreaker ties, before they stage a coup." [fallout] half of the budget is soent on screening secret organizations
Must not allow religion [option] "@@LEADER@@, the real issue here is clear," states a junior officer in the Ministry of Atheism. "The Stonebreakers are clearly a religious organization- in their meetings they talk about "the spirits" and "up high" and other clearly religious mumbo-jumbo. You must prosecute all these Ministers for their subversion, and increase funding for the Ministry of Atheism so we can better investigate secret religious organizations, with myself as the new Minister, of course. [fallout] pubs and bars are considered places subversive religious activity
[option] "We Stonebreakers have great advice on how to run the country," claims your Minister of Foreign Affairs, holding a globe in her hands. "You should join us, and we can rule the world together. Forget those pesky Brancalandians or the terrorist-funding Maxtopians. With our combined minds, we can create a Stonebreaker Empire to ensure freedom throughout the entire world." [fallout] most @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ soldiers have no idea what the organization they fight for is
Posted: Mon May 14, 2018 10:54 pm
by Australian rePublic
Only one reference to the stonecutters song? No singing of it?
Who controls the British Crown? Who keeps the metric system down? We do, we do Who keeps Atlantis off the maps? Who keeps the Martians under wraps? We do, we do Who controls the electric car? Who makes Steven Gutenburg a star? We do, we do Who robs cavefish of their sight? Who rigs every Oscar night? We do, we do
Also, just call them I think we can get away with just calling them the Stonecutters
Posted: Tue May 15, 2018 1:42 am
by Candlewhisper Archive
My personal rule of thumb is that satirising satire doesn't work. Instead of being clever, it ends up being like a group of nerds who sit in a basement quoting Monty Python - they're acknowledging clever comedy, not creating clever comedy.
A tangential reference to Stonecutters might be fine in an issue about Masonic lodges, but basically lifting all the creativity of a Simpsons episode into an issue isn't good issue writing, it's just borrowing someone else's creativity.
Posted: Tue May 15, 2018 3:28 pm
by Fauxia
Candlewhisper Archive wrote:My personal rule of thumb is that satirising satire doesn't work. Instead of being clever, it ends up being like a group of nerds who sit in a basement quoting Monty Python - they're acknowledging clever comedy, not creating clever comedy.
A tangential reference to Stonecutters might be fine in an issue about Masonic lodges, but basically lifting all the creativity of a Simpsons episode into an issue isn't good issue writing, it's just borrowing someone else's creativity.
It isn't really based on the episode though, besides the one reference and a vague thing about partying. It's more about simply a secret society with a bizarre amount of power.
Posted: Wed May 16, 2018 1:17 am
by Candlewhisper Archive
It feels too heavily referential to me.
Maybe drop the song, and change the name to something directly satirises Masons rather than Stonecutters. Pick a different synonym for Stonecutters, maybe.
Or you could leave it as it is, and probably NoQ will like it. He does love Simpsons references.
Posted: Wed May 16, 2018 4:16 am
by Chan Island
Hold up- my entire cabinet consists of members of a secret society and only now are they inviting me to join! There are many ways I could express this, but suffice to say I'd be clicking option 2 with my utopia account very hard indeed, and option 3 if I banned religion even harder. A choice which is too easy right now.
How about only have it be a handful of the cabinet, say 2 or 3 of the ministers are? That way we don't have the entire government being overtaken by this secret cult, yet the cult would be powerful enough with those people to actually get a lot of stereotypical secret organisation sneaky business done.
Also, I'm struggling to get the difference between options 1 and 4. So I join the secret society and... in one of them I pine for world domination and in the other I pine for a glass of Cheri.
Posted: Wed May 16, 2018 12:28 pm
by Fauxia
Chan Island wrote:Hold up- my entire cabinet consists of members of a secret society and only now are they inviting me to join! There are many ways I could express this, but suffice to say I'd be clicking option 2 with my utopia account very hard indeed, and option 3 if I banned religion even harder. A choice which is too easy right now.
How about only have it be a handful of the cabinet, say 2 or 3 of the ministers are? That way we don't have the entire government being overtaken by this secret cult, yet the cult would be powerful enough with those people to actually get a lot of stereotypical secret organisation sneaky business done.
Also, I'm struggling to get the difference between options 1 and 4. So I join the secret society and... in one of them I pine for world domination and in the other I pine for a glass of Cheri.
Will respond to the rest later, however, option 1 is turning a blind eye only, 4 is about world domination. However, I have other evaluations of it and may tweak 4
Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2018 7:52 pm
by Fauxia
Bump for new draft
Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2018 9:32 pm
by Australian rePublic
What about the option where @@LEADER@@ is intiated as a Son of a Brick?
Also, awsome joke in option 1, but maybe change it to "I'm not a son of a b..."
Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 9:44 am
by The Official United Nations
The humour in the first option was alright. Instead of saying that they aim to 'subvert,' you could just say 'control.' After all, they are seemingly influential in the government. They aren't anti-establishment.
Only the possible religious option involves describing what unusual things occur in the meetings. Mason customs and symbols are quite important to their conspiratorial reputation. Perhaps you should include more detailed summaries of what disturbing mannerisms seem to appear in the images or meetings.
The first effect is vaguely humorous, however this issue only concerns one such society. Others have suggested an effect where Leader is rumoured to be a member of a secret society. That might make more sense. It's not clear that all secret societies even get along, or have similar aims.
Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 6:59 pm
by Fauxia
Fallouts don't have to be super super related, as long as they're funny. As for the rest, I will get to it when I next update the draft.
Also, just realized I need to change the title. Any suggestions?
Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2018 8:44 am
by Chan Island
This draft is much better!
Option 4 seems a little bit redundant to be honest, you've already got other options banning and persecuting the cult. And if you want to make it a religious version of option 3, then why not go for @@Faith@@?
Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2018 6:01 pm
by Fauxia
"New draft", meaning I took out the last two options. I don't really like 2-option issues, though, anyone got an idea for a third option?
Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2018 6:18 pm
by Jutsa
I personally liked old option 3, but it really does function like 2. That said, I think I have a more interesting option 3:
"What! They didn't invite you to the Sons of a Brick!" (blah blah blah) "You need to form a new organization for only cool people like you"
^ something like that. Thoughts? Could be an opportunity to add an "Order of the Stick" reference
Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2018 11:45 am
by Fauxia
One week month bump for new draft, I added a third option again, but it’s different now.
Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2018 3:29 pm
by Australian rePublic
Option 3- the only way to join is if you're invited. And now this brings up a different question, what if the leader is female?
Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2018 4:41 pm
by Fauxia
I think that, despite the name, the SOBs are inclusive.
Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2018 4:59 pm
by Australian rePublic
Fauxia wrote:I think that, despite the name, the SOBs are inclusive.
Or they could have an all female branch like the masons do
Australian rePublic wrote:Or they could have an all female branch like the masons do
Yeah, I like that idea. Only thing is, there’s no way to tell what gender the leader is, so unfortunately, no toggling. The option is best as is.
There doesn't have to be. One of the members can list a bunch of different branches OR say something along the lines of "we even have branches for women" or something like that
Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2018 5:39 am
by Australian rePublic
Option 3- you can't just join willy-nilly, you have to be invited
Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2018 5:42 am
by Australian rePublic
Jutsa wrote:I personally liked old option 3, but it really does function like 2. That said, I think I have a more interesting option 3:
"What! They didn't invite you to the Sons of a Brick!" (blah blah blah) "You need to form a new organization for only cool people like you"
^ something like that. Thoughts? Could be an opportunity to add an "Order of the Stick" reference
Idon't see how a rival organisation would have any power or influence, thus making it moot
Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2018 12:21 pm
by A Humanist Stink
Candlewhisper Archive wrote:It feels too heavily referential to me.
Maybe drop the song, and change the name to something directly satirises Masons rather than Stonecutters. Pick a different synonym for Stonecutters, maybe.
Or you could leave it as it is, and probably NoQ will like it. He does love Simpsons references.
LEGO cult.
Trade secrets, highly protective of its image, requires members to spend vast sums of money on the organization. That's all the ticks boxed.
Candlewhisper Archive wrote:It feels too heavily referential to me.
Maybe drop the song, and change the name to something directly satirises Masons rather than Stonecutters. Pick a different synonym for Stonecutters, maybe.
Or you could leave it as it is, and probably NoQ will like it. He does love Simpsons references.
LEGO cult.
Trade secrets, highly protective of its image, requires members to spend vast sums of money on the organization. That's all the ticks boxed.
Posted: Mon May 14, 2018 8:22 pm