[SUBMITTED] What's Got Into @@NAME@@?

by **Baggieland** » Sat May 12, 2018 9:21 am

Time to unleash this one!

[TITLE] What's Got Into @@NAME@@?

[DESCRIPTION] A new imported brand of coffee from Macronesia has a rather funny name: W' Ank. The implications of this 'lost in translation' event have been causing quite a stir.

[VALIDITY] adult / no autarky

[OPTION] "Here, you must try our latest brand of coffee," insists the Macronesian ambassador. "It's very popular in my country. I know the name is a bit funny here in @@NAME@@, but this can be a learning moment for all @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@. Instead of giggling at the name, teach everyone to learn about different cultures and to appreciate them. Now my friend, can I interest you in a Macronesian W' Ank? It's the best!"

[EFFECT] coffee connoisseurs find that the best beans are those crushed between the buttocks of exotic maidens

[OPTION] "That name is so rude," proclaims @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, a member of the Mothers of Purity group. "We cannot allow such vulgarity to exist within @@NAME@@. Can you imagine teenagers going to a coffee shop and asking for a… I shudder to think! You must ban this distastefully named product and make sure that all imported goods are thoroughly checked for appropriate language."

[EFFECT] language professors moonlight by rigorously examining product labels

[VALIDITY] internet banned
[OPTION] "Hey check out this picture I've got here Uncle," proclaims your niece, who's been chuckling to herself the whole time. "My friend, who is in Smalltopia, sent me this picture after she saw this sign in the window of a laundromat there. It says 'drop your pants here'! You should make a law that states all businesses must have funny mistakes in their advertising. The laughter therapy will make @@NAME@@ the happiest place in the world!"

[EFFECT] @@NAME@@ is the laughing stock of the world... literally

[VALIDITY] internet not banned
[OPTION] "Hey check these websites out Uncle," proclaims your niece, who's been on her mobile phone the whole time. "There are tons of websites with hilarious examples of language gone wrong. Like this laundromat in Smalltopia that has a sign in the window saying 'drop your pants here'! You should make a law that states all businesses must have funny mistakes in their advertising. The laughter therapy will make @@NAME@@ the happiest place in the world!"

[EFFECT] @@NAME@@ is the laughing stock of the world... literally

by **Jutsa** » Sat May 12, 2018 12:09 pm

this

is

fantastc

:rofl:

Ok, ok, a couple things that pop out: and none of these have to do with the writing.

For the validity, you might want to have "must not be an autarky". You may also want "must have private industry".
I also get that you need internet for option 3, but you could make a variant of that involving newspaper or fliers or something.

(course.. that presents a problem for nations where advertising is illegal too... idk how far you want to go with that)

by **Candlewhisper Archive** » Sat May 12, 2018 1:49 pm

I normally don't comment on staff issues till they get to the staff area, but I got to say I love the premise of this issue.

I laughed so hard when I went to Hong Kong and saw Wanko clothes.

Likewise the baby milk called "diarrhoea episode" and the yummy chocolate-filled biscuit tube called "collon".

by **Chan Island** » Sat May 12, 2018 2:10 pm

Nice!

But surely an autarky is a much more relevant validity than internet? Though keep internet just for option 3!

by **Ab Humanitatis Scientiam** » Sat May 12, 2018 2:27 pm

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:I normally don't comment on staff issues till they get to the staff area, but I got to say I love the premise of this issue.

I laughed so hard when I went to Hong Kong and saw Wanko clothes.

Likewise the baby milk called "diarrhoea episode" and the yummy chocolate-filled biscuit tube called "collon".

See, the baby milk one isn't really all that funny cause infants are basically diarrhea machines anyway. It's really just more of a factual description of what they do.

Anyway, obviously I get what "W' Ank" is supposed to sound like, but what's the connection to coffee? I suppose it doesn't really have to have a connection, but it seems like a more explicitly coffee-linked innuendo would permit for a more straight-faced (and so, perhaps, more funny) joke. EDIT: the effect line of option one is closer to this spirit ("beans") but is probably too explicit. Needs more subtle implication/dead-pan, IMO.

Perhaps something about pulling an espresso. Or plunging, pressing, grinding, cream.

Froth.

...

At any rate, this issue instantly reminds me of the Radio 4 News Quiz which has entire segments on this sort of thing. Any one particular episode should provide a plethora of examples ripe for creative borrowing. Especially for option 3.

by **Baggieland** » Sun May 13, 2018 9:24 pm

Jutsa wrote:For the validity, you might want to have "must not be an autarky". You may also want "must have private industry".
I also get that you need internet for option 3, but you could make a variant of that involving newspaper or fliers or something.
(course.. that presents a problem for nations where advertising is illegal too... idk how far you want to go with that)

Added autarky. Not sure about private industry though.

I understand what you're saying about not having too many validity restrictions. However, if the neice has a flier with incorrect language on it, where did she get it from? If it was inside @@NAME@@, there shouldn't be that obvious a mistake from a native speaker, so the laundromat must be owned by immigrants. A different validity. If the neice has just returned from holiday, then that too requires a different validity. So either way you're just swapping one validity for another. Also I think the internet validity is ok, as most nations don't ban that, it's only those crazy psychotic dictarships!

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:I laughed so hard when I went to Hong Kong and saw Wanko clothes.

I saw a Wanko store when I was in Macau, most be popular!

Ab Humanitatis Scientiam wrote:Anyway, obviously I get what "W' Ank" is supposed to sound like, but what's the connection to coffee? I suppose it doesn't really have to have a connection, but it seems like a more explicitly coffee-linked innuendo would permit for a more straight-faced (and so, perhaps, more funny) joke. EDIT: the effect line of option one is closer to this spirit ("beans") but is probably too explicit. Needs more subtle implication/dead-pan, IMO.

Perhaps something about pulling an espresso. Or plunging, pressing, grinding, cream.

Froth.

A good point. However, the name must be rude. If it's just a funny sounding name, why would the Mothers of Purity be all upset? I'm happy to change it, but it must be RUDE!

For everyone's information, the name is inspired by an Indonesian coconut-flavoured coffe called W' Dank.

by **Jutsa** » Sun May 13, 2018 9:34 pm

You should make a law that states all businesses must have funny mistakes in their advertising.

I mean, this'd be easier to do in state-run places but at the same time idk if "businesses" would apply here. Maybe you could instead have a variant of this for that?

Plus @Internet: If the D' Wank is located in your nation, then chances are they have information in your language.
Plus, I mean, idk if state-run companies would sell foreign capitalist products or not. I honestly have no clue.

by **Australian rePublic** » Mon May 14, 2018 3:31 am

That translator should be fired! Option 2, why would anyone ask for a wank? That's a solo activity...

by **Jutsa** » Mon May 14, 2018 3:28 pm

I mean... I didn't think about it, but due to a decade of internet corruption, I'm afraid I get the implications.

by **Baggieland** » Tue May 15, 2018 5:57 am

Australian rePublic wrote:That translator should be fired! Option 2, why would anyone ask for a wank? That's a solo activity...

I could change it from a Macronesian 'W' Ank' to a French 'Le hand-job', but it's just any excuse for teenagers to be allowed to say words that they usually wouldn't be allowed to use!

Jutsa wrote:If the D' Wank is located in your nation, then chances are they have information in your language.

Imported products don't have to be translated.

Jutsa wrote:Plus, I mean, idk if state-run companies would sell foreign capitalist products or not. I honestly have no clue

Both communist and capitalist nations import products.

Any more comments on the text guys?

by **Chan Island** » Wed May 16, 2018 4:55 am

Baggieland wrote:
Any more comments on the text guys?

That's a no from me. This is an excellently written dilemma with great choices.

by **Baggieland** » Wed May 16, 2018 6:24 am

Chan Island wrote:
Baggieland wrote:
Any more comments on the text guys?

That's a no from me. This is an excellently written dilemma with great choices.

Thanks Chan!

Anyone else?

by **Jutsa** » Wed May 16, 2018 9:42 am

Eh, it still bothers me a bit that you can't get this issue without internet/computers.
Maybe an alt of three* could have your niece understand the other language? :blush:

Everything else is really good imo though.

by **Australian rePublic** » Wed May 16, 2018 2:11 pm

Baggieland wrote:
Australian rePublic wrote:That translator should be fired! Option 2, why would anyone ask for a wank? That's a solo activity...

I could change it from a Macronesian 'W' Ank' to a French 'Le hand-job', but it's just any excuse for teenagers to be allowed to say words that they usually wouldn't be allowed to use!

How about something more subtle, such as "Fook"?
"Can you imagine teenagers asking the barista" "two fook"?

by **Chan Island** » Wed May 16, 2018 9:13 pm

Australian rePublic wrote:
Baggieland wrote:
I could change it from a Macronesian 'W' Ank' to a French 'Le hand-job', but it's just any excuse for teenagers to be allowed to say words that they usually wouldn't be allowed to use!

How about something more subtle, such as "Fook"?
"Can you imagine teenagers asking the barista" "two fook"?

How is that more subtle?! :rofl:

Jutsa wrote:Eh, it still bothers me a bit that you can't get this issue without internet/computers.
Maybe an alt of three* could have your niece understand the other language?

Everything else is really good imo though.

I think the internet is the only way to really go about it without substantially changing option 3.

by **Baggieland** » Thu May 17, 2018 3:37 am

Jutsa wrote:Maybe an alt of three* could have your niece understand the other language?

That might work, I'll have a think about it later and see how it comes out!

by **Baggieland** » Fri May 18, 2018 7:58 am

Jutsa wrote:Eh, it still bothers me a bit that you can't get this issue without internet/computers.
Maybe an alt of three* could have your niece understand the other language?

Everything else is really good imo though.

Ok Jutsa, I've added a doppleganger for option 3. It's deliberately vague so as to avoid all validity checks!

by **Jutsa** » Fri May 18, 2018 12:13 pm

Awesome.

Still a little unsure if "all businesses must have funny mistakes in their advertising" really works for communist nations.
idk if business = capitalism or not, but "firms" might work instead... idk.

by **Baggieland** » Fri May 18, 2018 9:54 pm

Jutsa wrote:Awesome.

Still a little unsure if "all businesses must have funny mistakes in their advertising" really works for communist nations.
idk if business = capitalism or not, but "firms" might work instead... idk.

Communist nations have businesses. Not sure about advertising though, if everything is state run.

by **Baggieland** » Fri May 18, 2018 10:01 pm

I've gone ahead and submitted it. All these finer details will get sorted out in the editing room, if it's accepted, of course!

by **Chan Island** » Sat May 19, 2018 12:09 am

Baggieland wrote:I've gone ahead and submitted it. All these finer details will get sorted out in the editing room, if it's accepted, of course!

Looking forward to seeing it soon!

by **Jutsa** » Sat May 19, 2018 8:33 am

Indeed, so am I. :lol:

by **Baggieland** » Sat May 19, 2018 9:07 am

Chan Island wrote:Looking forward to seeing it soon!

Jutsa wrote:Indeed, so am I.

Thanks y'all!

by **Wopruthien** » Mon Jun 04, 2018 5:47 am

Absolutely loved this Issue. My new favourite.

by **Candlewhisper Archive** » Mon Jun 04, 2018 8:23 am

I also love it. I love it enough to get my TARDIS, go back and pick it up, and publish it as of five hours ago.

What? I said I was a Doctor, didn't I?

[SUBMITTED] What's Got Into @@NAME@@?

[SUBMITTED] What's Got Into @@NAME@@?

Who is online