NationStates

[TITLE] Inspector Kitchenette

[OVERVIEW] A local restaurant was recently shut down after complaints about cleanliness. It was later discovered that the restaurant was the owner’s own home. Concerned citizens and restauranteurs have gathered in your office to discuss what should be done.

[VALIDITY] I believe this could work for any nation.

[OPTION #1] “What’s wrong with serving food out of your own home?” asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, the owner whose restaurant was shut down. “If people are willing to pay to eat my cooking, perhaps the government should butt out.”

[EFFECT] ‘Fly Soup’ is unwittingly becoming the nation’s favorite dish.

[OPTION #2] “Absolute rubbish!” angrily shouts notorious celebrity chef Ramsey Oliver. “You were s***ting where you cook you f***ing donkey!” “The only proper place to get a meal is at a proper f***ing restaurant like mine!”

[EFFECT] @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ are not allowed to cook in their own homes.

[OPTION #3] “We should inspect kitchens and certify chefs.” suggests germaphobe, @@RANDOMNAME@@. “That way we know the best, cleanliest places to eat.”

[EFFECT] @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ must have a license to use a microwave.

This is my first crack at writing an Issue. Any feedback is appreciated. Thanks.

Bumping for any pointers/advice/constructive criticism.
As for [VARIABLES] I think it could effect government size, taxation, authoritarianism, civil rights, compliance, economic freedom

Option 1- Yea, why does it matter if it's own home. I really don't see why it makes a difference
Option 2- Try not to use swears. Also, shitting where he was cooking? Wha.....?
3. Option 3- That's what this issue should be about. And in either case, it makes no difference if it's at a house or at a resturant

Australian rePublic wrote:Option 1- Yea, why does it matter if it's own home. I really don't see why it makes a difference
Option 2- Try not to use swears. Also, shitting where he was cooking? Wha.....?
3. Option 3- That's what this issue should be about. And in either case, it makes no difference if it's at a house or at a resturant

Option 2 uses an over exaggerated Gordon Ramsey character from Issue 477. If I were to use this character again I’ll use grawlixes next time. My apologies.

I want the Issue to be more about allowing restaurants run from average peoples homes. How would I go about reworking this Issue so it is more about that?

Also, thank you for your opinion. I’m still learning the ropes of issue making, so thank you for your time.

First off, welcome to the Got Issues forum!

This draft, as it appears to me is about whether or not citizens should be allowed to run a restaurant out of their own habitations, however, this issue is really about food safety standards. Food safety has already been covered in issue #705. Im afraid this draft is going to be a challenge, due to such an overlap, that is unless you can present a new, unique take on the issue. Dont be daunted, look up issue #705, if you can make your draft stand-out with minimal overlap, you’re golden.

I’m going to commend you on some things. The issue, as written, is very much on-point with the general style of NS issues. The writing is promising, but the options could use a little bit more wordage, think of it as additional opportuniuies for humor.

A few things to keep in mind.

Effect lines are neither capitalized at the beggining nor punctuated at the end. Like this:

[effect] this is how an effect line should look

Quotation marks are not needed at the beggining of each sentence. It should look like this:

[option] “Here’s how quotation marks should be used,” says Candensia. “It’s much easier to write options when you don’t have to worry about all those quotation marks. I truly do hope you agree. Don’t worry, though, I made the very same mistake on my first draft.”

I encourage you to continue to draft issues on the forum, you certainly do show promise in your writing. If you come up with a good idea and want to make sure it hasn’t already been covered, you can have experienced authors, editors, and data wizards check for you. All you have to do is ask “Has....already been covered?” in The Writers Block thread.

What Candensia said. Maybe change the order of the information and the emphasis, to make it primarily about running restaurants out of your own home. Instead of cleanliness, have an option speakers opposed to the idea complain about the downsides. For example, a neighbour could complain that a quiet residential district has been turned into one resembling a commercial area, with parking problems, late evening noise, increased footfall, and so on.

The topic has potential, but needs a different approach on the execution.