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[ACCEPTED; #1018] - Operation Failed

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Candlewhisper Archive
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Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Mon Jun 04, 2018 5:45 am

Aclion wrote:I don't understand the third effect. What does hospitals being cold have to do with AI performing surgery?


Computers run best when it is cold.

But yeah, not the strongest line there.
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Sacara
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Postby Sacara » Tue Jun 05, 2018 6:12 pm

Changed option three's effect line. Still not sold on it, however.

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:No, don't worry about copyright. You know Jennifer Government had Nike as one of the bad guys, right?

On the issue, I have to say, this is probably now the best unsubmitted draft on this forum. Looking very, very good.

When you submit it, would you mind dropping me a telegram so I can nab it before anyone else?

Thank you, CWA! I want to leave it out for a little bit longer to see if I can get more comments on how to improve it, but I will send a telegram once I submit it!
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Trotterdam
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Postby Trotterdam » Tue Jun 05, 2018 6:19 pm

Sacara wrote:[Option 3] “Why stop at just the hospital doors when there is so much more we can do!” rhetorically asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, leader of the @@CAPITAL@@ High Science Club. “Artificial intelligence has the capability to do so many more things than just perform a surgery. Can you think of how great @@NAME@@ would be if we allowed them to take over more difficult roles? A few jobs are nothing compared to how much better we would be compared to @@REGION@@!"
[Effect] robots are more common than people in the medical industry
1. Make that "humans", not "people". According to nations where AIs have citizenship, robots are people.
2. This is the option for using robots for purposes beyond just hospitals, so why does the effect line still emphasize the medical industry?
3. What roles does this speaker want to use robots for anyway? "Everything"? I think the option is just too vague and drifts away from the main topic.

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Sacara
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Postby Sacara » Wed Jun 06, 2018 5:55 pm

Trotterdam wrote:1. Make that "humans", not "people". According to nations where AIs have citizenship, robots are people.
2. This is the option for using robots for purposes beyond just hospitals, so why does the effect line still emphasize the medical industry?
3. What roles does this speaker want to use robots for anyway? "Everything"? I think the option is just too vague and drifts away from the main topic.

Fair point indeed. I reworked option three in an attempt to narrow it. I'm wasn't convinced on the effect line, and I still am not. Any suggestions?
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Postby Trotterdam » Wed Jun 06, 2018 7:01 pm

Sacara wrote:"Can you think of how great @@NAME@@ would be if we allowed them to take over more difficult roles in the hospital, outside of preforming the surgery?"
What do you need to do at a hospital that's harder than surgery? I was under the impression that's the most technically-demanding medical activity. There's a reason "brain surgery" is used as a metaphor for anything really difficult, and I'm sure even the easier parts of the body to operate on are only so in a relative sense.

Some things are very emotionally difficult, like figuring out how to gently break to a patient that he has only a few weeks left to live, but that isn't what I would expect an AI to be good at.

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Sacara
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Postby Sacara » Wed Jun 06, 2018 7:05 pm

Trotterdam wrote:What do you need to do at a hospital that's harder than surgery? I was under the impression that's the most technically-demanding medical activity. There's a reason "brain surgery" is used as a metaphor for anything really difficult, and I'm sure even the easier parts of the body to operate on are only so in a relative sense.

Some things are very emotionally difficult, like figuring out how to gently break to a patient that he has only a few weeks left to live, but that isn't what I would expect an AI to be good at.

Personally, I was going for the nurses/doctors/etc. Even though they're not harder, the whole point of the option is to remove the "people" part from the hospital and just have it be AI robots. I can change it, though, if need be.
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Postby Sacara » Fri Jun 08, 2018 7:06 pm

Personally, I like the way this draft has turned out over the past few edits. Without any major feedback in the next few days, I think I'll submit. I would still love to hear what people think, however!
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Sacara
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Postby Sacara » Sun Jun 10, 2018 1:30 pm

Putting this one on the [LAST CALL] stage. Please, if you have any input, good or bad, let me know!
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Candensia
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Postby Candensia » Sun Jun 10, 2018 1:49 pm

It seems to me that you’ve gotten all the feedback you need. I have no real qualms with this one.

Very good luck to you, Sacara. :D
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Sacara
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Postby Sacara » Sun Jun 10, 2018 8:19 pm

Thank you everyone for the support! When I first imagined this draft, it was much different than what it is now. This couldn't be made possible without all the feedback I received! Hopefully this will be my first accepted issue, fingers crossed!
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Federative Austrian Realms
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Postby Federative Austrian Realms » Fri Jul 06, 2018 12:18 pm

Hi,

I just received this issue and was wondering if the surname of the doctor isn't a bit untasteful?
I mean, if you search it in Google there is literally no other result on the first few pages than the infamous Nazi doctor who performed deadly human experiments on concentration camp prisoners..

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Sacara
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Postby Sacara » Fri Jul 06, 2018 12:22 pm

Federative Austrian Realms wrote:Hi,

I just received this issue and was wondering if the surname of the doctor isn't a bit untasteful?
I mean, if you search it in Google there is literally no other result on the first few pages than the infamous Nazi doctor who performed deadly human experiments on concentration camp prisoners..

Howdy.

I think that's the point of the surname, to reference to Josef Menegele, the infamous Nazi doctor. I don't see a problem?
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Trotterdam
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Postby Trotterdam » Fri Jul 06, 2018 12:49 pm

I'm sure that's intentional, using the name to lampoon that this doctor may not be so trustworthy.

That said, they are still very different characters. This issue portrays Thackery Mengele as possibly dangerously incompetent, but still well-intentioned (choosing his option even leads to an increase in your nation's Compassion). There is strong evidence that the real Josef Mengele was motivated purely by sadism and that even he himself did not truly believe his experiments to have any real scientific value. Even the other amoral Nazi scientists were creeped out by him.

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Australian rePublic
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Postby Australian rePublic » Fri Jul 06, 2018 3:02 pm

Congrats!
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Candlewhisper Archive
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Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Sun Jul 08, 2018 1:40 am

It's open to amendment if folk find it distasteful.

I personally think its fine, as we're not glorifying the monstrous man, rather we're just laughing at an unfortunate doctor who shares the same name as a mass murderer.

A less controversial alternative might be "Jenny Dahmler" or something.
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Trotterdam
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Postby Trotterdam » Sun Jul 08, 2018 2:16 am

I personally would've named him something else, but I don't care strongly enough to whine about it.

Doesn't help that I don't get the reference with "Jenny Dahmler" at all...

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Candlewhisper Archive
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Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Sun Jul 08, 2018 2:34 am

Yeah, fair enough, not great as nothing medical about Jeffrey Dahmler.
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Australian rePublic
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Postby Australian rePublic » Sun Jul 08, 2018 3:57 am

Yeay you!
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