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[Submitted] A Panhandling Problem

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Divitalia
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[Submitted] A Panhandling Problem

Postby Divitalia » Wed Feb 07, 2018 2:12 pm

Blue text indicates changes from the original draft.

[desc]
During one your regular walks through the streets of @@CAPITAL@@, you noticed that the number of panhandlers has sharply risen. Many annoyed passerby see you, and are asking you to do something about it.

[validity] Must have high income inequality, low welfare

[option 1]
A woman storms up to you, furious. “These panhandlers are filthy, horrible people! I just want to go about my day undisturbed, and these people are here on every street corner, begging me for my hard-earned cash. You must make panhandling illegal! Besides, I’ve heard most of these people aren’t really on the streets.
[fallout 1]people are arrested for asking if they can borrow a @@CURRENCY@@

[option 2]
A scraggly old man wearing a torn jacket saunters over to you. “It’s not like I enjoy begging for money; it’s quite embarrassing actually. If I only were to have a place to sleep and food to eat, I wouldn’t have to do this. Please, for us on the streets, pour some more funding into welfare. Those better off than I could use some more taxing anyway.”
[fallout 2]many frugal @@DENONYMPLURAL@@ abuse the nation’s new soup kitchens

[option 3]
A young man wearing green tights dashes over to you, followed by other similarly-dressed men. “My name is Robert Hood, and I think I have a solution to your problem. You see, me and my band of merry men can take some luxuries from the 1%, and give them to those who need it more! Of course, we’ll need to take a small amount of the goods for ourselves as payment.”
[fallout 3]many @@DENONYMPLURAL@@ have been found with stolen art from the @@CAPITAL@@ Museum.
Please give me any feedback you have. Thanks!
Last edited by Divitalia on Sat Mar 03, 2018 7:40 am, edited 6 times in total.

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Fauxia
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Postby Fauxia » Wed Feb 07, 2018 5:13 pm

We might have something similar...

I’m wondering if the “regular walk” thing is a player autonomy sin
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Trotterdam
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Postby Trotterdam » Wed Feb 07, 2018 9:21 pm

Might be worth addressing something about "professional beggars" who deliberately pretend to be poor (by wearing raggy clothing and such) when they're in fact making a pretty good profit.

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Divitalia
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Postby Divitalia » Thu Feb 08, 2018 6:56 am

I’ll try to add that in when I update the draft.

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Candlewhisper Archive
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Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Fri Feb 09, 2018 2:35 am

In terms of something similar, I drafted on this topic a while ago:

viewtopic.php?f=13&t=372080

However, its one of my least favourite drafts so I'm unlikely to self-publish it. Help yourself to anything you want from it.
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Divitalia
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Postby Divitalia » Fri Feb 09, 2018 6:47 am

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:In terms of something similar, I drafted on this topic a while ago:

viewtopic.php?f=13&t=372080

However, its one of my least favourite drafts so I'm unlikely to self-publish it. Help yourself to anything you want from it.


Thanks!

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Divitalia
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Postby Divitalia » Sun Feb 11, 2018 6:25 pm

*bump*

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Divitalia
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Postby Divitalia » Wed Feb 14, 2018 12:00 pm

I’d really like to get another bit of feedback or 2 before I make the next draft.

*bump*

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Fauxia
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Postby Fauxia » Wed Feb 14, 2018 12:28 pm

Spice up fallout 3
Reploid Productions wrote:Unfortunately, Max still won't buy the mods elite ninja assassin squads to use, so... no such luck.
Sandaoguo wrote:GP is a den of cynics and nihilists
My opinions do not represent any NS governments I may happen to be in (yeah right), any RL governments I may happen to be in (yeah right), the CIA, the NSA, the FBI. the Freemasons, the Illuminati, Opus Dei, the Knights Templar, the Organization for the Advancement of Cultural Marxism, Opus Dei, or any other organization. Unless I say they do, in which case, there is a nonzero chance.

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Divitalia
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Postby Divitalia » Wed Feb 14, 2018 12:51 pm

Fauxia wrote:Spice up fallout 3


Updated.
Last edited by Divitalia on Wed Feb 14, 2018 1:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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The 19th Century
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Postby The 19th Century » Thu Feb 15, 2018 11:49 am

#251 is a similar topic. Keep that in mind and make sure your issue is distinct from it.

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Vulturret
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Postby Vulturret » Thu Feb 15, 2018 11:52 am

The 19th Century wrote:#251 is a similar topic. Keep that in mind and make sure your issue is distinct from it.

Agreed. Several things about begging people on the streets have been introduced as well lately. Try and find the most interesting and distinct thing possible.
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Divitalia
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Postby Divitalia » Thu Feb 15, 2018 7:39 pm

The 19th Century wrote:#251 is a similar topic. Keep that in mind and make sure your issue is distinct from it.


Thanks for the number. I’ll look it over and make some changes so this draft is different from it.

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Australian rePublic
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Postby Australian rePublic » Fri Feb 16, 2018 4:23 am

Hello, not a bad little issue you got here. Now let's take a look:

Isn't option 3 a little too on-the-nose?
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Divitalia
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Postby Divitalia » Mon Feb 19, 2018 11:12 am

Australian rePublic wrote:Hello, not a bad little issue you got here. Now let's take a look:

Isn't option 3 a little too on-the-nose?


What do you mean?

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USS Monitor
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Postby USS Monitor » Mon Feb 19, 2018 11:17 am

I don't mind option 3. It's obviously a silly option, but you're not having a problem with the issue being too long, so there's room for a silly option.
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Divitalia
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Postby Divitalia » Tue Feb 20, 2018 10:55 am

*bump*

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Fauxia
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Postby Fauxia » Wed Feb 21, 2018 3:32 pm

"Are asking you to do something about it" is very bland. Make it more funny, or else just cut it out.
Reploid Productions wrote:Unfortunately, Max still won't buy the mods elite ninja assassin squads to use, so... no such luck.
Sandaoguo wrote:GP is a den of cynics and nihilists
My opinions do not represent any NS governments I may happen to be in (yeah right), any RL governments I may happen to be in (yeah right), the CIA, the NSA, the FBI. the Freemasons, the Illuminati, Opus Dei, the Knights Templar, the Organization for the Advancement of Cultural Marxism, Opus Dei, or any other organization. Unless I say they do, in which case, there is a nonzero chance.

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Divitalia
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Postby Divitalia » Thu Feb 22, 2018 6:09 pm

Fauxia wrote:"Are asking you to do something about it" is very bland. Make it more funny, or else just cut it out.


What if I put “are begging you to do something about it” as a pun?

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Divitalia
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Postby Divitalia » Mon Feb 26, 2018 3:34 pm

*sighs*

/bump

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Jutsa
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Postby Jutsa » Mon Feb 26, 2018 4:09 pm

This one will be next on my list of things to tackle after I do Dolor Mortis's. :P
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Jutsa
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Postby Jutsa » Tue Feb 27, 2018 8:56 am

Well, uh, actually, the only thing I have to say is this:
The first word in an effect line should not be capitalized. It automatically is if you answer issues, but it isn't on a nation's homepage or activity feed.

I actually have no other qualms with this draft! It's simplistic, yes, but it really feels like it has an old-issue charm that I can't help but enjoy. :)

Some people might want a few things punched up, but I like it as-is.
You're welcome to telegram me any questions you have of the game. Unless I've CTE'd (ceased to exist) - then you physically can't do that.

Helpful* Got Issues? Links (Not Pinned In Forum) *mostly: >List of Issue-Related Lists | >Personal List of Issue Ideas | >List of Known Missing Issues/Options |
>Trotterdam's Issue Results/Policies Tracker | >Val's Bonus Stats | >Fauzjhia's Easter Egg Guide | >My Joke Drafts List | >Sherp's Author Rankings

Other Nifty Links: >Best-Ranked Useful Dispatches | >NSindex | >IA's WA Proposal Office | >Major Discord Links | >Trivia | >Cards Against NS | >Polls

"Remember, licking doorknobs is perfectly legal on other planets." - Ja Luıñaí

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Divitalia
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Postby Divitalia » Tue Feb 27, 2018 12:14 pm

Jutsa wrote:Well, uh, actually, the only thing I have to say is this:
The first word in an effect line should not be capitalized. It automatically is if you answer issues, but it isn't on a nation's homepage or activity feed.

I actually have no other qualms with this draft! It's simplistic, yes, but it really feels like it has an old-issue charm that I can't help but enjoy. :)

Some people might want a few things punched up, but I like it as-is.


Wow, thanks! That means a lot coming from someone who has seen so many different issues.

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Divitalia
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Postby Divitalia » Tue Feb 27, 2018 2:50 pm

Added low welfare into the validity.

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Jutsa
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Postby Jutsa » Tue Feb 27, 2018 5:05 pm

Wow, thanks! That means a lot coming from someone who has seen so many different issues.
Eheh, thanks, but don't get your hopes too high yet. Never know when someone might have an opposing opinion. :P
You're welcome to telegram me any questions you have of the game. Unless I've CTE'd (ceased to exist) - then you physically can't do that.

Helpful* Got Issues? Links (Not Pinned In Forum) *mostly: >List of Issue-Related Lists | >Personal List of Issue Ideas | >List of Known Missing Issues/Options |
>Trotterdam's Issue Results/Policies Tracker | >Val's Bonus Stats | >Fauzjhia's Easter Egg Guide | >My Joke Drafts List | >Sherp's Author Rankings

Other Nifty Links: >Best-Ranked Useful Dispatches | >NSindex | >IA's WA Proposal Office | >Major Discord Links | >Trivia | >Cards Against NS | >Polls

"Remember, licking doorknobs is perfectly legal on other planets." - Ja Luıñaí

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