[DRAFT] Tribal Tattoo Trauma

[Kaschovia]

3rd Draft

---

title: Tribal Tattoo Trauma

validity: invalid for more advanced nations (good economies, good welfare, high scientific advancement), also invalid for nations with extremely bad environments

description: A group of foreign journalists on a jungle hike released a controversial clip showing two young members of a tribe native to the rainforest painfully inked as part of a 'coming-of-age' ritual. Although the ritual is well-known within many tribal communities, a social media storm has dragged you into it.

1: "So much needless suffering," whimpers @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, leader of the group. "I get that it is a tribal thing, but did you see the pain in that poor child's eyes?!" You wince after @@HE@@ jabs you with a sewing needle to poorly demonstrate the incident. "It is a horrible experience that only encourages violence against minors in these communities and it is something nobody should have to go through. The government must monitor these tribes to ensure the safety of their members."

fallout: bewildered tribesmen watch in complete confusion as undercover agents use their walkie-talkies

2: "It's common practice for a reason," says @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, a primitive behavioral expert, imitating the hunting crouch position used by the native 'Umni' tribe. "For thousands of years, they have carried out their rituals with no interference. It's when we don't see them dancing around a campfire all doolally, that we get on our moral high horses and change their way of life. Let them make their human sacrifices and whatnot, if it means they're left alone by the government's dirty, obtrusive claws, I'm okay with it."

fallout: human sacrifices are legally sanctioned if done through a recognized ritualistic practice

3: "The intelligence arm of our government never fails to entertain me," laughs @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Defence, circling your desk like a vulture. "It's time we stopped coddling these lunatics and got rid of 'em once and for all." @@HE@@ slams a map down on your desk. "You see that group of huts in the corner, with the trees around 'em?" @@HE@@ sweeps them off the map with the back of @@HIS@@ hand. "All I need is your approval and they'll be no trace of 'em left."

fallout: the military acts more primitively than the tribes that they are terrorizing

---

title: Tribal Tattoo Trauma

validity:

description: Online lifestyle tabloid Tribetrotter released a controversial clip showing two young members of a native @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ tribe forcefully tattooed as part of a coming-of-age ritual. Although this ritual is well-known within tribal communities, civil rights activists have swarmed your office demanding that you do something about the unsavory behavior within tribal communities.

1: "So much needless suffering," cries @@RANDOMNAME@@, a reporter for a local newspaper, clutching a notepad and a pencil. "I get that it's a tribal practice, b-but did you see the pain in that child's eyes?!" You wince after @@HE@@ jabs you with a sewing needle to badly demonstrate the incident. "It is a degrading and traumatizing experience that nobody should have to go through. The government must monitor these rituals and practices to protect those affected by them."

fallout: agents undercover disguised as tribesmen infiltrate jungle communities

2: "It's common practice for a reason," says primitive behavioral expert @@RANDOMNAME@@, crouched low to the ground, imitating the hunting methods of native 'Umni' tribe. "These people have been around for thousands of years and have carried out these rituals with no problems. It's only as soon as we don't see them dancing around a campfire all doolally, that we jump up onto our moral high horses and tell them how to live. The hypocrisy is quite frightening, actually! We should let them live how they always have as they do with us."

fallout: human sacrifices are legally sanctioned if as part of a recognized ritualistic practice

3: Glass shatters as a dirty man smashes through the window. He launches a spear at the door and it closes with a slam; pounding his chest and growling, he performs an unusual dance on your desk. He grabs the spear from the door and jumps back out of the window, leaving your office in ruins. "That was a warning," says @@RANDOMNAME@@(2), crossing her arms in irony. "The Umni will declare war on us if we impede their way of life any further."

fallout: the government trembles in anticipation of a tribal invasion

4: "They'll do what?" laughs @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Defence, inspecting the hole in the door. "If they're going to threaten us, I think we should show them what we're capable of." He places a map on your disheveled desk. "You see that group of huts in the corner, with the trees around 'em?" He sweeps them off the map with the back of his hand. "All I need is your approval and they'll be no trace of 'em left."

fallout: the military mercilessly terrorizes native tribes

title: Tribal Tattoo Trauma

validity:

description: Online lifestyle tabloid Tribetrotter released a controversial clip showing two young members of a native @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ tribe forcefully tattooed as part of a coming-of-age ritual. Although this ritual is well-known within tribal communities, civil rights activists have swarmed your office demanding that you do something about the unsavory behavior within tribal communities.

1: "So much needless suffering," cries @@RANDOMNAME@@, a reporter for a local newspaper, clutching a notepad and a pencil. "I get that it's a tribal practice, b-but did you see the pain in that child's eyes?!" You wince after @@HE@@ jabs you with a sewing needle to badly demonstrate the incident. "It is a degrading and traumatizing experience that nobody should have to go through. The government must monitor these rituals and practices to protect those affected by them."

fallout: agents undercover disguised as tribesmen infiltrate jungle communities

2: "It's common practice for a reason," says primitive behavioral expert @@RANDOMNAME@@, crouched low to the ground, imitating the hunting methods of native 'Umni' tribe. "These people have been around for thousands of years and have carried out these rituals with no problems. It's only as soon as we don't see them dancing around a campfire all doolally, that we jump up onto our moral high horses and tell them how to live. The hypocrisy is quite frightening, actually! We should let them live how they always have as they do with us."

fallout: human sacrifices are legally sanctioned if as part of a recognized ritualistic practice

3: Glass shatters as a dirty man smashes through the window. He launches a spear at the door and it closes with a slam; pounding his chest and growling, he performs an unusual dance on your desk. He grabs the spear from the door and jumps back out of the window, leaving your office in ruins. "That was a warning," says @@RANDOMNAME@@(2), crossing her arms in irony. "The Umni will declare war on @@NAME@@ if they impede any further on their tribal way of life."

fallout: the government trembles in anticipation of a tribal invasion

4: "They'll do what?" laughs @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Defence, inspecting the hole in the door. "If they're going to threaten us, I think we should show them what we're capable of." He places a map on your disheveled desk. "You see that group of huts in the corner, with the trees around 'em?" He sweeps them off the map with the back of his hand. "All I need is your approval and they'll be no trace of 'em left."

fallout: the military mercilessly terrorizes native tribes

[USS Monitor]

Interesting issue.

"The Umni will declare war on @@NAME@@ if they impede any further on their tribal way of life."

This is grammatically ambiguous who "they" refers to. I would change it to "you" or rephrase the whole sentence.

Also, I don't think "impede" is the right word with the sentence structure you have. It should be "intrude any further on their tribal way of life" or "impede their tribal way of life any further." "Impede on" sounds weird.

Maybe "The Umni will declare war on us if we impede their way of life any further," or something like that.

[Fauxia]

I wonder of there’s anything similar? Nothing none I can think of...

[Kaschovia]

Interesting issue.

"The Umni will declare war on @@NAME@@ if they impede any further on their tribal way of life."

This is grammatically ambiguous who "they" refers to. I would change it to "you" or rephrase the whole sentence.

Also, I don't think "impede" is the right word with the sentence structure you have. It should be "intrude any further on their tribal way of life" or "impede their tribal way of life any further." "Impede on" sounds weird.

Maybe "The Umni will declare war on us if we impede their way of life any further," or something like that.

Edited. Thanks for the feedback!

[Trotterdam]

What is option 3 doing?

Okay, so you were threatened with war. But that's not an action. The reasonable things to do when threatened with war are to either surrender and accede to their demands (but that's option 2), or fight back (but that's option 4).

---

Also, what about allowing the tattoos to continue but require the use of painkillers? (Not as much of a "reasonable compromise" as it might sound, if enduring the pain like a man was the entire point of the coming-of-age ritual.)

#786 is worth a look.

[Kaschovia]

What is option 3 doing?

Okay, so you were threatened with war. But that's not an action. The reasonable things to do when threatened with war are to either surrender and accede to their demands (but that's option 2), or fight back (but that's option 4).

---

Also, what about allowing the tattoos to continue but require the use of painkillers? (Not as much of a "reasonable compromise" as it might sound, if enduring the pain like a man was the entire point of the coming-of-age ritual.)

#786 is worth a look.

I've removed option 3 as you were right in that it did not reasonably provide an action that the government could take.

I also changed a few things as well.

[Australian rePublic]

Pretty good little issue, but how is it that nobody knew about this? Were they uncontacted tribes?

[Kaschovia]

Pretty good little issue, but how is it that nobody knew about this? Were they uncontacted tribes?

Observers of the tribe probably would have known about it, yes, but would not have thought it appropriate to bring such an issue to the government. It was a group of foreign journalists that made it as much of an issue as it is.

[Kaschovia]

Anything else on this? I know this draft might've fallen lower due to the contests going on right now, but if you do have any comments, I'd like to know what you think.

[Kaschovia]

Made some changes to the text and some effect lines.

[Fauxia]

Why is it invalid for nations with bad environments? The main problems I see are in the fallouts. In option 1, it’s good, except “use their walkie-talkies” seems somewhat bland to me. As for the second, you switched two words up.

[Kaschovia]

Why is it invalid for nations with bad environments? The main problems I see are in the fallouts. In option 1, it’s good, except “use their walkie-talkies” seems somewhat bland to me. As for the second, you switched two words up.

1. "jungle hike" - nation with a bad environment would not have a jungle worth hiking through or capable of providing a habitat for tribes.

2. What do you suggest for effect line 1? I've edited effect line 2.

[Aclion]

It's not necessarily exclusive. Going through this list it doesn't seem like poor environmental policy precludes vast having large amounts of jungle, at least short term. It's perfectly possible for a nation to have both.

[Fauxia]

It's not necessarily exclusive. Going through this list it doesn't seem like poor environmental policy precludes vast having large amounts of jungle, at least short term. It's perfectly possible for a nation to have both.

That’s why it’s for a nation with a terrible environment, not for a nation with low eco-friendliness

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Decent idea.

As usual, the main thought here is about nation-shape assumptions. We do make a lot of these, for example assuming certain geographic features, like coastlines, mountains, deserts, and so on, so the jungles themselves are fine.

However "native @@DEMONYM@@ tribe" may be going too far, as it assumes a colonial history. For many RL nations, the native tribe would be the tribe that the majority are descended from. I'd replace this with "a tribe native to the rainforest".

I'd also suggest that the last sentence of the description is a poor one, as it's yet another "people are demanding that you address this" line, which is generaly weak writing.

[Kaschovia]

Decent idea.

As usual, the main thought here is about nation-shape assumptions. We do make a lot of these, for example assuming certain geographic features, like coastlines, mountains, deserts, and so on, so the jungles themselves are fine.

However "native @@DEMONYM@@ tribe" may be going too far, as it assumes a colonial history. For many RL nations, the native tribe would be the tribe that the majority are descended from. I'd replace this with "a tribe native to the rainforest".

I'd also suggest that the last sentence of the description is a poor one, as it's yet another "people are demanding that you address this" line, which is generaly weak writing.

Made the changes you suggested.