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DRAFT 1
DRAFT 2
DRAFT 3
DRAFT 4
[title] Addressing the Hairy Elephant in the Room
[validity] Scientifically advanced nations (specific level pending)
[description] Scientists, paleontologists, and environmentalists have approached your office about a unique opportunity to revitalize the environment by reintroducing analogues to now extinct megafauna.
[option 1] Slamming a massive fossil down on your desk is paleontologist Megan Therium. “@@LEADER@@, our lands once were home to giant woolly mammoths, ground sloths, and even the famous dire @@ANIMAL@@. As these animals have disappeared, their absence has been felt throughout the ecosystems of our nation!" Pointing to a patch of desert on the map, "@@LEADER@@, did you know that used to be a lush forest? By reintroducing animals that fill the same roles as the extinct animals, such as the Brasilistani elephant, we could bring our environment back to what it once was.” Excitedly readjusting her glasses and biting into a ripe avocado, the eager paleontologist states, “All we ask is that sections of land be turned into nature reserves where we reintroduce our new animals!”
[fallout 1] home insurance rates spike after herds of hairy elephants trample suburban petunia patches
[option 2] “Harrumph!” grunts Nedwina Anders, née Thal, a farmer with horrible hirsutism. “@@LEADER@@ you cannot honestly think that letting a bunch of lions, tigers, and bears loose into our lands is a good idea. Oh my, by reintroducing many of these animals you would put both the breadbasket of @@NATION@@ at stake and our livelihoods! Sure it’d be nice to see some harrumphalumps and doozles around, but not if they kill my cattle and trample my grain! If anything, you should give us more land so we can work harder for @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@!”
[fallout 2] The Great @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Dust Bowl eclipses record production of corn
[option 3] “Forget about all of this eco-beef nonsense” retorts cigar-chomping General Alex “Squints” Quargesimus as he picks up the fossil and squints at it longingly. “We have the technology to bring these beasts back from extinction. Imagine the ferocity with which a fully grown ah-dult dire @@ANIMAL@@ will display on the battlefield against our enemies.” Rubbing his jaw with pride while squinting out the window, General Alex puts out his cigar on his forearm and continues, “I can see it now. A squad of 10 dire @@ANIMAL@@ replacing an entire company of soldiers. Our enemy wont know what hit 'em. @@LEADER@@, fund my dream and I promise you that we will wipe our pathetic enemies off the face of this planet.”
[fallout 3] inner city gangs fight turf wars using military-grade theropods obtained on the black market
[option 4] Bursting into your office while dragging four interns around their legs is Supreme Exarch Marshall Inch. Shaking off the futile attempts to keep him from your office Supreme Exarch Inch barks, "HERESY! Reviving beasts is an affront to the almighty and those infernal fossils are nothing more than a test of our faith! @@LEADER@@, you must immediately cease all talk of this genetics and biology mumbo jumbo and return your people to religion! Let the idle thoughts of children stay with children, and use your powers to save your people from an eternity of damnation!” After taking a moment to catch his breath the Supreme Exarch spikes a massive holy text onto your desk and saunters out of your office.
[fallout 4] describing pigeons as “rats with wings” has been deemed heretical