[SUBMITTED] Pepper Spray Making Citizens Salty

[Jutsa]

Yes! Finally, I'm uploading this one!
(Actually I'd wait until I just had two drafts uploaded, but I can't wait any longer.)

I hope you all enjoy!

Title: Pepper Spray Making Citizens Salty
The Issue: An uproar took hold of @@NAME@@ after the hospitalization of mother of three @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@. This occurred shortly after a strange incident which resulted in her being attacked with pepper spray and falling off a cliff.
Validity: None

Option: "That woman was hospitalized because of these terrible spray things!" shouts @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, the married daughter of the spray victim. "And that's only the beginning. What if someone elderly or even a child ends up being pepper sprayed? What if something more serious happens than toppling over a ten-foot cliff at a seventy degree angle because you were mistaken for a yeti - er, for example? I say we ban pepper spray, once and for all!"
[effect]hair sprays and air fresheners are detained for being threats to the public

Validity: Has law enforcement
Option: "Well, they may hurt a lot, but they really could be useful in the hands of the police," comments @@RANDOMNAME@@, a policeman who both investigated the incident and is currently the prime suspect. "Pepper spray is a non-lethal weapon - at least, most of the time. It enables the police force to make snap decisions, help with crowd control, and can be safely used for self defense, even if they mistake a baguette for a machete like I... ahem, I suggest giving the police force all of the confiscated pepper spray."
[effect]personal possessions are given to the police as weapons

Validity: Has law enforcement
Option: "You're not going to listen to this... this... law-pusher, are you?" complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, a pepper spray salesman who in fact sold some to the police officer @@HE@@'s protesting. "Pepper spray is a useful tool to help protect and even potentially save people. Sure, it can be lethal in some cases, like spraying someone 7 feet and mildly downhill from a cliff she flies off anyway, but how often is that? Is it really more likely than being killed because you didn't have pepper spray on ya? I think you should instead teach people the benefits of having this stuff - and maybe even give my products a few subsidies."
[effect]rolling on the ground in agony is a fairly frequent consequence of not wearing goggles in @@NAME@@

Validity: Don't have law enforcement
Option: "You're not going to listen to this... this... citizen, are you?" complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, a pepper spray salesman who in fact failed to sell some to the lady @@HE@@'s protesting. "Pepper spray is a useful tool to help protect and even potentially save people. Sure, it can be lethal in some cases, like spraying someone because you thought she was your sister and she tumbles back a few feet, but how often is that? Is it really more likely than being killed because you didn't have pepper spray on ya? I think you should instead encourage people to have this stuff on hand - and maybe even give my products a few subsidies."
[effect]walking around @@NAME@@ without goggles is a risky and sometimes difficult task

Option: "Everyone should have pepper spray on them at all times," urges a noted tear gas proponent who you think you recall seeing about 84 days ago. "Not only would it significantly decrease crime, but it would also effectively stop rampant wildlife in its tracks. Of course, this also means that every wacko and their godfather would have them, but don't worry; you'll also have some to protect yourself, so it will all work out."
[effect]any citizen found without pepper spray is immediately assaulted with pepper spray

Title: Pepper Spray Making Citizens Salty
The Issue: An uproar took hold of @@NAME@@ after the hospitalization of mother of three @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@. This occurred shortly after a strange incident which resulted in her being attacked with pepper spray and falling off a cliff.
Validity: None

Option: "That woman was hospitalized because of these terrible spray things!" shouts @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, the married daughter of the spray victim. "And that's only the beginning. What if someone elderly or even a child ends up being pepper sprayed? What if something more serious happens than toppling over a ten-foot cliff at a seventy degree angle because you were mistaken for a yeti - er, for example? I say we ban pepper spray, once and for all!"
[effect]hair sprays and air fresheners are detained for being threats to the public

Validity: Has law enforcement
Option: "Well, they may hurt a lot, but they really could be useful in the hands of the police," comments @@RANDOMNAME@@, a policeman who both investigated the incident and is currently the prime suspect. "Pepper spray is a non-lethal weapon - at least, most of the time. It enables the police force to make snap decisions, help with crowd control, and can be safely used for self defense, even if they mistake a baguette for a machete like I... ahem, I suggest giving the police force all of the confiscated pepper spray."
[effect]personal possessions are given to the police as weapons

Validity: Has law enforcement
Option: "You're not going to listen to this... this... law-pusher, are you?" complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, a pepper spray salesman who in fact sold some to the police officer @@HE@@'s protesting. "Pepper spray is a useful tool to help protect and even potentially save people. Sure, it can be lethal in some cases, like spraying someone 7 feet and mildly downhill from a cliff because you thought she was your sister and she flies off anyway, but how often is that? Is it really more likely than being killed because you didn't have pepper spray on ya? I think you should instead encourage people to have pepper spray, and maybe give us a few subsidies."
[effect]rolling on the ground in agony is a fairly frequent consequence of not wearing goggles in @@NAME@@

Validity: Don't have law enforcement
Option: "You're not going to listen to this... this... citizen, are you?" complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, a pepper spray salesman who in fact failed to sell some to the lady @@HE@@'s protesting. "Pepper spray is a useful tool to help protect and even potentially save people. Sure, it can be lethal in some cases, like spraying someone 7 feet and mildly downhill from a cliff because you thought she was your sister and she flies off anyway, but how often is that? Is it really more likely than being killed because you didn't have pepper spray on ya? I think you should instead encourage people to have pepper spray, and maybe give us a few subsidies."
[effect]rolling on the ground in agony is a fairly frequent consequence of not wearing goggles in @@NAME@@

Option: "Everyone should have pepper spray on them at all times," urges a noted tear gas proponent who you think you recall seeing about 84 days ago. "Not only would it significantly decrease crime, but it would also effectively stop rampant wildlife in its tracks. Of course, this also means that every wacko and their godfather would have them, but don't worry; you'll also have some to protect yourself, so it will all work out."
[effect]any citizen found without pepper spray is immediately assaulted with pepper spray

Title: Pepper Spray Making Citizens Salty
The Issue: An uproar took hold of @@NAME@@ after the hospitalization of mother of three @@RANDOMFEMALE@@. This occurred shortly after a strange incident which resulted in her being attacked with pepper spray and falling off a cliff.
Validity: None

Option: "That woman was hospitalized because of these terrible spray things!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, the married daughter of the spray victim. "And that's only the beginning. What if someone elderly or even a child ends up being pepper sprayed? What if something more serious happens than toppling over a ten-foot cliff at a seventy degree angle because you were mistaken for a yeti - er, for example. I say we ban pepper spray, once and for all!"
[effect]hair sprays and air fresheners are detained for being threats to the public

Option: "Well, they may hurt a lot, but they really could be useful in the hands of the police," comments @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, a policeman who both investigated the incident and is currently the prime suspect. "Pepper spray is a non-lethal weapon - at least, most of the time. It enables the police force to make snap decisions, help with crowd control, and can be safely used for self defense, even if they mistake a baguette for a machete like I... ehem, I suggest giving the police force all of the confiscated pepper spray."
[effect]personal possessions are given to the police as weapons

Option: "You're not going to listen to this... this... law-pusher, are you?" complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, a pepper spray salesman who in fact sold some to the police officer @@HE@@'s protesting. "Pepper spray is a useful tool to help protect and even potentially save people. Sure, it can be lethal in some cases, like spraying someone 7 feet and mildly downhill from a cliff because you thought she was your wife and she flies off anyway, but how often is that? Is it really more likely than being killed because you didn't have pepper spray on ya? I think you should instead encourage people to have pepper spray, and maybe give us a few subsidies."
[effect]rolling on the ground in agony is a fairly frequent consequence of being in @@NAME@@

Option: "Everyone should have pepper spray on them at all times," urges a noted tear gas proponent who you think you recall seeing about 84 days ago. "Not only would it significantly decrease crime, but it would also effectively stop rampant wildlife in its tracks. Of course, this also means that every wacko and their godfather would have them, but don't worry; you'll also have some to protect yourself, so it will all work out."
[effect]any citizen found without pepper spray is sprayed with pepper spray

Title: Pepper Spray Making Citizens Salty
The Issue: An uproar took hold of @@NAME@@ after the hospitalization of mother of three @@RANDOMFEMALE@@. From what she could remember, she was walking home when a stranger had sprayed her, resulting in blinded in agony and falling over a cliff.
Validity: None

Option: "That woman was hospitalized because of these terrible spray things!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, the married daughter of the spray victim. "And that's only the beginning. What if someone elderly or even a child ends up being pepper sprayed? What if something more serious happens than toppling over a ten-foot cliff at a seventy degree angle because you were mistaken for a yeti - er, for example. I say we ban pepper spray, once and for all!"
[effect]hair sprays and air fresheners are detained for being threats to the public

Option: "Well, they may hurt a lot, but they really could be useful in the hands of the police," comments @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, a policeman who both investigated the incident and is currently the prime suspect. "Pepper spray is a non-lethal weapon - at least, most of the time. It enables the police force to make snap decisions, help with crowd control, and can be safely used for self defense, even if they mistake a baguette for a machete like I... ehem, I suggest giving the police force all of the confiscated pepper spray."
[effect]personal possessions are given to the police as weapons

Option: "You're not going to listen to this... this... law-pusher, are you?" complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, a pepper spray salesman who in fact sold some to the police officer @@HE@@'s protesting. "Pepper spray is a useful tool to help protect and even potentially save people. Sure, it can be lethal in some cases, like spraying someone 7 feet and mildly downhill from a cliff because you thought she was your wife and she flies off anyway, but how often is that? Is it really more likely than being killed because you didn't have pepper spray on ya? I think you should instead encourage people to have pepper spray, and maybe give us a few subsidies."
[effect]rolling on the ground in agony is a fairly frequent consequence of being in @@NAME@@

Option: "Everyone should have pepper spray on them at all times," urges a noted tear gas proponent who you think you recall seeing about 84 days ago. "Not only would it significantly decrease crime, but it would also effectively stop rampant wildlife in its tracks. Of course, this also means that every wacko and their godfather would have them, but don't worry; you'll also have some to protect yourself, so it will all work out."
[effect]any citizen found without pepper spray is sprayed with pepper spray

Title: Pepper Spray Making Citizens Salty
The Issue: An uproar took hold of @@NAME@@ after the hospitalization of mother of three @@RANDOMFEMALE@@. This occurred shortly after a strange incident which resulted in her being attacked with pepper spray and falling off a cliff.
Validity: None

Option: "That woman was hospitalized because of these terrible spray things!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, the married daughter of the spray victim. "And that's only the beginning. What if someone elderly or even a child ends up being pepper sprayed? What if something more serious happens? I say we ban pepper spray, once and for all!"
[effect]hairsprays and air fresheners are detained for being threats to the public

Option: "Well, they may hurt a lot, but they really could be useful in the hands of the police," comments @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, a policeman who both investigated the incident and is currently the prime suspect. "Pepper spray is a non-lethal weapon - at least, most of the time. It enables the police force to make snap decisions, help with crowd control, and can be safely used for self defense. I suggest giving the police force all of the confiscated pepper spray."
[effect]personal possessions are given to the police as weapons

Option: "You're not going to listen to this... this... law-pusher, are you?" complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, a pepper spray salesman who in fact sold some to the police officer @@HE@@'s protesting. "Pepper spray is a useful tool to help protect and even potentially save people. Sure, it can be lethal in some cases, but how often is that? Is it really more likely than being killed because you didn't have pepper spray on ya? I think you should instead encourage people to have pepper spray, and maybe give us a few subsidies."
[effect]rolling on the ground in agony is a fairly frequent consequence of being in @@NAME@@

Option: "Everyone should have pepper spray on them at all times," urges a noted tear gas proponent who you think you recall seeing about 84 days ago. "Not only would it significantly decrease crime, but it would also effectively stop rampant wildlife in its tracks. Of course, this also means that every wacko and their godfather would have them, but don't worry; you'll also have some to protect yourself, so it will all work out."
[effect]any citizen found without pepper spray is sprayed with pepper spray

Title: Pepper Spray Making Citizens Salty
The Issue: An uproar took hold of @@NAME@@ after the hospitalization of mother of three @@RANDOMFEMALE@@ after a strange incident which resulted in her being attacked with pepper spray and falling off a cliff.
Validity: Nation has not banned pepper spray

Option: "That woman was hospitalized because of these terrible things!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, the married daughter of the spray victim. "And that's only the beginning. What if someone elderly or even a child ends up being pepper sprayed? What if something more serious happens? I say we ban pepper spray, once and for all!"
[effect]hair sprays and air fresheners are detained for being threats to the public

Option: "Well, they may hurt a lot, but they really could be useful in the hands of the police," comments @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, a policeman who both investigated the incident and is currently the prime suspect. "Pepper spray is a non-lethal weapon - at least, most of the time. It enables the police force to make snap decisions, help with crowd control, and can be safely used for self defense. I suggest giving the police force all of the confiscated pepper spray."
[effect]personal possessions are given to the police as weapons

Option: "You're not going to listen to this... this... law-pusher, are you?" complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, a pepper spray salesman who in fact sold some to the police officer @@HE@@'s protesting. "Pepper spray is a useful tool to help protect and even potentially save people. Sure, it can be lethal in some cases, but how often is that? Is it really more likely than being killed because you didn't have pepper spray on ya? I think you should instead encourage people to have pepper spray, and maybe give us a few subsidies."
[effect]rolling on the ground in agony is a fairly frequent consequence of being in @@NAME@@

Option: "Everyone should have pepper spray on them at all times," urges a noted tear gas proponent who you think you recall seeing about 84 days ago. "Not only would it significantly decrease crime, but it would also effectively stop rampant wildlife in its tracks. Of course, this also means that every wacko and their godfather would have them, but don't worry; you'll also have some to protect yourself, so it will all work out."
[effect]any citizen found without pepper spray is sprayed with pepper spray

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

Yes! Finally, I'm uploading this one!
(Actually I'd wait until I just had two drafts uploaded, but I can't wait any longer.)

I hope you all enjoy!

Title: Pepper Spray Making Citizens Salty
The Issue: An uproar took hold of @@NAME@@ after the hospitalization of mother of three @@RANDOMFEMALE@@ after a strange incident which resulted in her being attacked with pepper spray and falling off a cliff.
Validity: Nation has not banned pepper spray

Option: "That woman was hospitalized because of these terrible things!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, the married daughter of the spray victim. "And that's only the beginning. What if someone elderly or even a child ends up being pepper sprayed? What if something more serious happens? I say we ban pepper spray, once and for all!"
[effect]hair sprays and air fresheners are detained for being threats to the public

Option: "Well, they may hurt a lot, but they really could be useful in the hands of the police," comments @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, a policeman who both investigated the incident and is currently the prime suspect. "Pepper spray is a non-lethal weapon - at least, most of the time. It enables the police force to make snap decisions, help with crowd control, and can be safely used for self defense. I suggest giving the police force all of the confiscated pepper spray."
[effect]personal possessions are given to the police as weapons

Option: "You're not going to listen to this... this... law-pusher, are you?" complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, a pepper spray salesman who in fact sold some to the police officer @@HE@@'s protesting. "Pepper spray is a useful tool to help protect and even potentially save people. Sure, it can be lethal in some cases, but how often is that? Is it really more likely than being killed because you didn't have pepper spray on ya? I think you should instead encourage people to have pepper spray, and maybe give us a few subsidies."
[effect]rolling on the ground in agony is a fairly frequent consequence of being in @@NAME@@

Option: "Everyone should have pepper spray on them at all times," urges a noted tear gas proponent who you think you recall seeing about 84 days ago. "Not only would it significantly decrease crime, but it would also effectively stop rampant wildlife in its tracks. Of course, this also means that every wacko and their godfather would have them, but don't worry; you'll also have some to protect yourself, so it will all work out."
[effect]any citizen found without pepper spray is sprayed with pepper spray

Great issue, Jutsa!

Some questions:

1) I see that your validity is "Nation has not banned pepper spray." Was there an issue about this? If not, you could consider drafting one. I think we need to discuss the heavy-handed methods (including using excessive amounts of pepper spray) the police uses to disperse protestors.

2) Why did the woman get pepper-sprayed? I think it would be interesting if the victim here was a man who got pepper-sprayed by a woman. Somehow, this narrative sounds more believable to me, because some women carry pepper-spray in their bags as a means of protection in case they are molested by someone. But I can imagine some innocent men getting pepper-sprayed, too. Also, the spray would probably affect other innocent bystanders if the altercation happened in an enclosed area.

In fact, you could perhaps keep the female victim, but provide some more details about the event in the description along the lines I just suggested. (Sorry, I just love a good story, and something seems "missing," if you don't say how the woman ended up being pepper-sprayed.)

Like this, perhaps:

[description]The @@CAPITAL@@ subway station has witnessed a very strange and sad incident yesterday; when @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, a mother of three, fell on the tracks and got hit by the subway car after being accidentally pepper-sprayed by another woman who was trying to scare away a flasher. Now @@NAME@@ is discussing whether plain citizens should be banned from purchasing and using pepper-spray.

Accordingly, the speaker in your Option 3 or 4 could also be the woman who was trying to attack the flasher.

3) Speaking of which, I think 3 and 4 are a bit too similar. Maybe you could conflate them (either keep the milder 3 or take the radical 4). If you keep the 3rd one, you could actually reserve Option 4 for a crazy suggestion that tackles the molestation problem, perhaps. (e.g. "only women should have pepper-spray for protection purposes," "women should sign up for obligatory martial arts courses to learn how to defend themselves," or there can be a person with a tinfoil hat who thinks that such pepper-spray attacks cannot be eliminated altogether anyway, and we should all be wearing gas masks to protect ourselves, etc.)

[Jutsa]

Thank you for your comments, FuF!

1) No, there are no issues that are surrounding pepper spray - which I was honestly surprised by, so I jumped at the opportunity.
Basically, the validity states that if you answer option 1 of this issue, then the issue won't be able to be gotten again.
That being said, I could make a followup issue about policemen overusing pepper spray specifically, in the future, for if options 2/3/4 were chosen.

2) I'll see if I can come up with a better story.
Atm I have it as a police officer who possibly did it and a lady who was pepper sprayed with no explanation. I would like to add more story,
but I have no idea as to how I'd do that. I'll work on it a bit later.

3) Option 3 is about subsidizing pepper spray, which I felt would be better than just "let it be" since that's sort-of a dismissy kind of option.
I could remove option 3, though, and keep it as a dismissal, though I kind of like how it stands as an option which states the free-est possibility.
Option 4, on the other hand, is compulsory ownership. I based this off of Issue #84, an issue about gun ownership.
In fact, the guy talking in option 4 is based off of that issue, hence the "who you think you recall seeing about 84 days ago".
If you look closely, he says almost the exact same thing.

The original fourth, crazy option was actually to ban cliffs...
It was mentioned by a guy used pepper spray on his pancakes to try and make them spicier, who then proceeded to fall over a cliff in agony and proved his point.
I scrapped it because it's probably just a bit too unbelievable... a bit.

[Braskia]

How did she fell of a cliff? Aside from the obvious, she suddenly gets a spray of pepper in the face and fell off a cliff, what kind of place and situation is this?

[Australian rePublic]

Why was she pepper sprayed? I like FuF's idea that some woman thought that the victim was a pervert. It also makes more sense than a saddistic police officer wanting to see an innocent civilian fall off a cliff, for no reason. (But then again, I did submit an issue about an innocent man who was chased out a park because some mothers thought that he was a pedophile, before realising that the girls he was photographing were all his daughters, so I don't know, maybe Men's Right Activist bias?) Also, if this is the isolated case of a saddistic police officer wanting to see an innocent civilian fall off a cliff, you can just throw him in prison, strip him of his badge and be done with it, but if it is a case of women blinding any men who accidently look at them the wrong way, it could potentially happen anywhere: a train station, the top level of a sports stadium, a public balcony in a pub, but what are odds of two complete strangers standing at the edge of a cliff with a weak fence, if any at all, and one has the sudden urge to pepper spray the other. Maybe you could do something along the lines of a train station, and the poor victim was nearly hit by a train. In this case it would have to be civilian on civilian violence, as the police can stop trains in their tracks, if they think there's a danger present. (Which actuallygives me an idea for an issue)

Also, option 4's effect should mention goggles...

[Democratic Exodian Territories]

Sounds like a good issue to me.

[Ransium]

The Issue: An uproar took hold of @@NAME@@ after the hospitalization of mother of three @@RANDOMFEMALE@@ after a strange incident which resulted in her being attacked with pepper spray and falling off a cliff.

I don't like the way this sentence is structured at all, "after", "after", "which" all in a single sentence. Also, I think the "strange incident" needs a bit more details as it raises more questions than it answers.

Validity: Nation has not banned pepper spray

Nah, we won't make a policy just so you can't get this issue again.

Option: "That woman was hospitalized because of these terrible things!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, the married daughter of the spray victim. "And that's only the beginning. What if someone elderly or even a child ends up being pepper sprayed? What if something more serious happens? I say we ban pepper spray, once and for all!"

What terrible things? If you're going to be vague lampshade it way more. Why married daughter? Married seems like an irrelevant detail. Also, your specifying gender with "daughter". Overall, this option just feels a bit thin. Anyway, I'm out of time, if I don't get back to this issue latter good luck!

[Jutsa]

1) Yeah, I'm going to work on that.

2) Alrighty~

3) Going to be split up into a few parts.
a) "Terrible things" is supposed to refer to pepper spray bottled, though I'd be glad to specify that
b) Daughter doesn't really matter, it's just there to give a general idea of the character, and I feel strange saying "child" if he/she's an adult, so I figured picking "son" or "daughter" was the right course of action.
c) "Married". This is because the description says "mother of three", so to specify that the daughter was an adult would make that headline seem a lot more exaggerated.

Overall, I may change that up depending on what I do to the option on account of what FuF recommended, but I figured I'd give you my line of reasoning, above.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

I don't like the way this sentence is structured at all, "after", "after", "which" all in a single sentence. Also, I think the "strange incident" needs a bit more details as it raises more questions than it answers.

As a contrasting opinion here, I personally like the story being implied rather than told, and this was one of the few issue description I actually laughed at loud at today.

[Jutsa]

Also, option 4's effect should mention goggles...

I like this, though between the nose being exposed and my not figuring out how to creatively add this, I'll dismiss it.

As for your other suggestions, I thought about using the term "ledge", although I sorta felt like "cliff" made for an even stranger story.
Also, @citizen vs. citizen: That could be what happened, it's just that the policeman's currently the prime suspect.

Sounds like a good issue to me.

Thank you :3c

How did she fell of a cliff? Aside from the obvious, she suddenly gets a spray of pepper in the face and fell off a cliff, what kind of place and situation is this?

That's a good question! I was kind of hoping to leave it up to your imagination, to be honest.

It seems like most of you would like me to add a bit more story to this, but

As a contrasting opinion here, I personally like the story being implied rather than told, and this was one of the few issue description I actually laughed at loud at today.

Now I'm just plain confuzzled... I made CWA laugh? What is this madness!

Also, I forgot to mention something about the married daughter; she also refers to her mother as "that woman", which furthermore should tell you something about that character,
though I could try and work the mother in as the speaker instead, if you'd all prefer, though I'd like to know a bit more of what direction I'm going before I go through with that.

Honestly, I'm fine with whatever, which is leaving me with a bit of a dizzy time figuring out what to do. Before I go through with any plot revisions, however,
I at least implemented some of the other stuff you guys mentioned... more specifically, a bunch of Ransium's points.

[Kenmoria]

For the effect line of option 1, hairspray is one word.

[Jutsa]

Hotfixed, thank you.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Now I'm just plain confuzzled... I made CWA laugh? What is this madness!

What can I say? I just found the "and falling off a cliff" to be delightfully unexpected, and pure comedy slapstick.

[Nurkama]

"who you think you recall seeing about 84 days ago."

Something bugs me about this line, I'm not sure what it is.

Otherwise, good issue.

[Jutsa]

I wanted to say something like "about three months ago" to have a similar "84-day" thing to it,
but I figured the reference to issue 84 would be obscure enough as-is.

Still, I do agree with you, it did compromise a tiny bit of fluidity, for some reason.

[Jutsa]

So, this was one of three drafts I felt was "on hold", but I figured I'd ask an 8 ball command over discord
if I should work on a draft, and when it said yes, and then I used a name-out-of-the-hat thing to choose a draft, it picked this one.

I couldn't decide, however, if I wanted to add more of a story, or leave it ambiguous.

I hope, however, that the result is 3(4 if you count the godfather bit) entirely different stories, with just as much ambiguity.

(I have no idea if this was a good idea, but I figure it's better than sulking around wondering if I should even do anything.)

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Peeps are going to disagree, but I feel like the expanded opening has diminished the humour. I don't want to know the chain of events that led to falling off a cliff. The eye of imagination is funnier than spelling it out.

Brevity = soul{wit} etc.

[Jutsa]

Well, I reverted my change to the description.

(I'll just flip-flop between the two if an argument breaks out. )

[Fauxia]

Yes! Finally, I'm uploading this one!
(Actually I'd wait until I just had two drafts uploaded, but I can't wait any longer.)

I hope you all enjoy!

Title: Pepper Spray Making Citizens Salty
The Issue: An uproar took hold of @@NAME@@ after the hospitalization of mother of three @@RANDOMFEMALE@@.

Oh come on, you know it's @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@

This occurred shortly after a strange incident which resulted in her being attacked with pepper spray and falling off a cliff.
Validity: None

Option: "That woman was hospitalized because of these terrible spray things!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@,

Should be @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@

the married daughter of the spray victim. "And that's only the beginning. What if someone elderly or even a child ends up being pepper sprayed? What if something more serious happens than toppling over a ten-foot cliff at a seventy degree angle because you were mistaken for a yeti - er, for example.

"Er, for example?"

I say we ban pepper spray, once and for all!"
[effect]hair sprays and air fresheners are detained for being threats to the public

Option: "Well, they may hurt a lot, but they really could be useful in the hands of the police," comments @@RANDOMMALENAME@@,

Why does it have to be male?

a policeman who both investigated the incident and is currently the prime suspect. "Pepper spray is a non-lethal weapon - at least, most of the time. It enables the police force to make snap decisions, help with crowd control, and can be safely used for self defense, even if they mistake a baguette for a machete like I... ehem,

Ahem, not ehem

when I suggest giving the police force all of the confiscated pepper spray."
[effect]personal possessions are given to the police as weapons

Not a huge fan of this fallout, to be honest. I usually suggest fallouts to those who I don't know, but I know you, and you can probably come up with a better one than me.

Option: "You're not going to listen to this... this... law-pusher, are you?" complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, a pepper spray salesman who in fact sold some to the police officer @@HE@@'s protesting. "Pepper spray is a useful tool to help protect and even potentially save people. Sure, it can be lethal in some cases, like spraying someone 7 feet and mildly downhill from a cliff because you thought she was your wife and she flies off anyway, but how often is that? Is it really more likely than being killed because you didn't have pepper spray on ya? I think you should instead encourage people to have pepper spray, and maybe give us a few subsidies."
[effect]rolling on the ground in agony is a fairly frequent consequence of being in @@NAME@@

Option: "Everyone should have pepper spray on them at all times," urges a noted tear gas proponent who you think you recall seeing about 84 days ago.

84 days ago? I don't get it.

"Not only would it significantly decrease crime, but it would also effectively stop rampant wildlife in its tracks. Of course, this also means that every wacko and their godfather would have them, but don't worry; you'll also have some to protect yourself, so it will all work out."
[effect]any citizen found without pepper spray is sprayed with pepper spray

I feel like you shouldn't use Pepper Spray twice in the same fallout. Also, the police option necessitates a "has police" validity, and then you have to toggle the validity of option 3. That, or make having Police a requirement of the Issue.

Good work, keep at it, Jutsa!

[Jutsa]

Oh come on, you know it's @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@ [...] Should be @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@ [...] "Er, for example?"

Fixed them, thank you.

Why does it have to be male?

No reason. I think I may have accidentally added the specified gender to the wrong person. Fixed at any rate.

Ahem, not ehem

Also fixed. If ever I say ahem, it's always ehem, and I think ehem is how it's normally pronounced(though I'm probably misremembering? idk), so I presumed ehem was more proper.

Not a huge fan of this fallout, to be honest.

I don't know. I kinda like it, myself, but if you do have any suggestions, feel free to make them.

84 days ago? I don't get it.

I've already mentioned this a couple times in the comment section.
Basically, 84 days is a vague reference to issue #84, to which the speaker is almost entirely based off of. (I intended for the person to be the exact same person, in fact)

I feel like you shouldn't use Pepper Spray twice in the same fallout

I went along with Aussie's goggle idea, at first, but then I felt it was too similar to the third effect line.
Besides that, I felt it was a good irony that because you don't have pepper spray, hostile citizens jump at the opportunity _and possibly the police would punish you for not having it_. It's one of those implied things.
Also, @Aussie: I added goggles to the third effect line. :3

Also, the police option necessitates a "has police" validity

Ah! *clunks head* thank you.
But this raises another problem...

and then you have to toggle the validity of option 3

I'm not sure what you meant, here, but I take it you mean that the pepper spray salesman needs to have another version that doesn't reference a police officer. I added an alternate version of that.
Also, I just remembered that not all nations allow marriage, so I'll change "wife" to "sister". I realize that not all nations allow for multiple children, but I figure between
adoption and the fact that you seem to have a gigantic family, it doesn't matter that much.

[Australian rePublic]

Option 2-why would the prime suspect be allowed to investigate?

[Fauxia]

Option 2-why would the prime suspect be allowed to investigate?

Police joke I assume

[Jutsa]

Idk... maybe laws are different in your nation, or something. I can change it if you want. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Jutsa]

Bumping again~
(I know this is two drafts in one day, but I accidentally forgot to bump one yesterday.)

Edit: I know this is another bump, but I updated it a little by splitting up part of option 3/4 so part of it appears in one and the other appears in the other.
I also changed a tiny bit of the dialogue and the effect lines' phrasings are a bit different.

[Jutsa]

*bumps into a wall* ouch