I hope you enjoy.
Title: @@LEADER@@'s New Bed Time
The Issue: The time has finally come. Your bed's been used for many years, and it's time you got a new one. The problem? You can't seem to decide what matress or bed frame to get.
Validity: Nation's wealthy enough and scientifically advanced enough to even have beds
Option: "How's about this one?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, manager of the furniture store you're inside of. "This is our 'ultra comfy deluxe hybrid bed' by Cespar, complete with an electronic adjuster and vibrator. It's a marvelous choice if you ever get back problems or need a quick massage."
[effect]it's common for a certain leader to wake up abruptly by vibrating onto the floor
Option: "That's not very creative," mentions @@RANDOMNAME@@, a co-worker at the furniture shop and an advocate of Loom or Leave Incorporated. "We need a mattress fit for a king, and a bed frame that'll accentuate your massive success. A water bed. Yes, and it simply must be decked out with its own curtains, over-the-top balcony, and, yes, posts made of solid gold - or, at least, coated gold. We'll just need a few extra funds to be able to get this custom-made."
[effect]@@LEADER@@'s golden bed regularly drenches its velvet curtains
Option: "I didn't think anything was wrong with your old bed," chimes in your financial advisor, who's checking the price tags on every object for sale. "Why are you getting a new one? Isn't your old one good enough for you? Wait until it's absolutely necessary, and then, when it's completely broken, buy something simple. That'll not only save you money, but it'll showcase that you are humble."
[effect]it's rumored that @@LEADER@@ sleeps on a pile of garbage to impress people
Option: "Why do we even need beds anyway?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, who's currently resting on the floor. "If the ground is not enough for you, then a pillow or a sleeping mat should be more than enough. Prove to the nation - nay, the world, that beds are unnecessary money drains for the lazy."
[effect]back problems are more common now that beds are being replaced by boards
Again, any feedback is welcome.
