[ACCEPTED] How To Print Money?

[Singapore no2]

{Current Draft}

[validity] only valid for nations with a physical currency

[desc] After a spot sample, it was estimated that up to ten percent of all physical money in circulation was counterfeit. Worried ministers in the Treasury department point out that the culprits are still at large and that @@CURRENCY@@ could be severely devalued over time.

[option] "We must find the perpetrators of this vile act and stop them!" demands @@RANDOMNAME@@, Chancellor of the Treasury, unloading a suitcase of the counterfeit notes on your desk. "These fake bills just keep coming and they don't stop coming. I'm fed up with this and I insist that we do something. With a free hand and a special task force under my control, I should be able to stamp out all forms of counterfeiting within a month."
[effect] entire families are arrested for playing board games with fake cash

[option] "An easier solution would be to implant small microchips into our notes and coins," proposes @@RANDOMNAME@@, the Minister of Finance, showing you a prototype. "This would ensure that all genuine notes could be immediately verified with a short scan of the microchip."
[effect] dropped coins lose all of their monetary value

[option] "That's absurd! It'll cost you hundreds to mint a 1 @@CURRENCY@@ coin! Wouldn't it be much simpler if a 1 @@CURRENCY@@ coin was actually worth 1 @@CURRENCY@@?" questions @@RANDOMNAME@@, a gold magnate, storming into your office. "If you used gold coins instead, not only would the coins have intrinsic value, but their high density would make it harder to counterfeit. After that, all that glitters will be gold, and that's all we'll need to know."
[effect] most @@CURRENCY@@ coins are riddled with bite marks

[option] "What a boring, utilitarian solution," snubs @@RANDOMNAME@@, an uppity artist, who is currently painting a mural on your ceiling. "The correct way should be to issue new notes and coins, and adorn them with elegant and intricate patterns. Not only will they be hard to copy, but they'll look fabulous as well. Only then will it be difficult for criminals to make a mould."
[effect] shopkeepers use microscopes to verify the authencity of banknotes

[option] "What's so wrong with making fake cash?" questions @@RANDOMNAME@@, a mysterious stranger wearing shades, looking pointedly in your direction. "If the government can print money, then why can't I? Sometimes, when I need to pay for gas, I realise that I'm out of dough, so I just make more on the go. People like me help to stimulate the economy, so there's really nothing wrong with a little forgery."
[effect] @@CURRENCY@@ is practically worthless after counterfeiting was legalised

{Original Draft}

[validity] only valid for nations with a physical currency

[desc] After a routine check, it was discovered that almost half of all physical money in circulation was counterfeit. Worried treasurers point out that the culprits are still at large and that @@CURRENCY@@ could be severely devalued over time.

[option] "We must find the perpetrators of this vile act and stop them!" demands @@RANDOMNAME@@, Chancellor of the Treasury, unloading a suitcase of the counterfeit notes on your desk. "These fake bills just keep coming and they don't stop coming. I'm fed up with this and I insist that we do something." @@HE@@ shows you one of the bogus notes, and continues, "I mean, look at this, her fingers are painted on her forehead!"
[effect] entire families are arrested for playing board games with fake cash

[option] "Why don't we go back to using the gold standard?" suggests @@RANDOMNAME@@, a gold magnate, sauntering into your office. "How about minting our coins with actual gold? Not only would the coins have intrinsic value, but all you need to do to verify their authenticity is a simple weight and displacement test. After that, all that glitters will be gold, and that's all we'll need to know."
[effect] coin inspectors have a habit of shouting "Eureka!" and running wildly in the street

[option] "Another way would be to implant small microchips into our notes and coins," proposes @@RANDOMNAME@@, the Minister of Finance, showing you a prototype. "This would ensure that all genuine notes could be immediately verified with a short scan of the microchip. Of course, if they are exposed to the elements, the chip would likely stop working. But hey, that's just a concept, and I'm sure the notes could use a little change themselves."
[effect] dropped coins lose all of their monetary value

[option] "What a boring, utilitarian solution," snubs @@RANDOMNAME@@, an uppity artist, who is currently painting a mural on your ceiling. "The correct way should be to issue new notes and coins, and adorn them with elegant and intricate patterns. Not only will they be hard to copy, but they'll look fabulous as well. Only then will it be difficult for criminals to make a mould."
[effect] it costs thousands of @@CURRENCY@@ just to produce a single note

[option] "What's so wrong with making fake cash?" questions @@RANDOMNAME@@, a mysterious stranger wearing shades, looking pointedly in your direction. "If the government can print money, then why can't I? Sometimes, when I need to pay for gas, I realise that I'm out of dough. So I just make more on the go. Just ignore counterfeiting and the problem should go away, or something."
[effect] @@CURRENCY@@ is practically worthless after counterfeiting was legalised

References:
All Star~Smash Mouth

[Raionitu]

I searched the word counterfeit in the issue spoiler thread and didn't find anything, so you should be good

[Singapore no2]

I searched the word counterfeit in the issue spoiler thread and didn't find anything, so you should be good

Thanks!

(I honestly should have done that myself)

[Greater Cesnica]

I searched the word counterfeit in the issue spoiler thread and didn't find anything, so you should be good

Thanks!

(I honestly should have done that myself)

Cheers!

[Australian rePublic]

I'm going to be an arsehole to an issue that's better than anything I could have done myself, so here we go...

1. The effect for ooption 1
2. Wiat, doesn't counterfiting pre-date fiat mon ey? Didn't counterfitting exist during the time of the Gold Standard?
3. Option 3 Although, I could imagine that microchips in coins would be more durable than those in notes. Either way, it would funny to think how vending machines would work
4. Option 4 Take a look at the new Australian $5 note (make sure you see the NEW one), and Canadian... well all their notes

[Singapore no2]

1. The effect for ooption 1

Ha ha, it actually took me quite some time to think of that one.

2. Wiat, doesn't counterfiting pre-date fiat mon ey? Didn't counterfitting exist during the time of the Gold Standard?

Yes, but like @@HE@@ said, all you require is a "simple" weight and displacement test to verify its purity.

3. Option 3 Although, I could imagine that microchips in coins would be more durable than those in notes. Either way, it would funny to think how vending machines would work

I guess that you would have to use notes instead... ... (or have a coin scanner that functions like a library book return scanner)

4. Option 4 Take a look at the new Australian $5 note (make sure you see the NEW one), and Canadian... well all their notes

That is... ... a lot of detail. I assume that they already picked that option, then.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

A better title is needed.

Has a counterfeiting issue been done before?

Not that I am aware of, but frieden-und_freudenland's recent submission Toss The Coin touches on it tangentially. That's an issue with a high likelihood of publication, so make sure you don't overlap it.

[desc] After a routine check, it was discovered that almost half of all physical money in circulation was counterfeit. Worried treasurers point out that the culprits are still at large and that @@CURRENCY@@ could be severely devalued over time.

It's not believable that a routine check could check over all the physical money in circulation.

I'd suggest changing it to a "spot sample" and to "estimated", and make it "up to ten percent of".

"Worried treasurers" sounds odd too, I'd suggest instead, "Worried ministers in the Treasury department"

[option] "We must find the perpetrators of this vile act and stop them!" demands @@RANDOMNAME@@, Chancellor of the Treasury, unloading a suitcase of the counterfeit notes on your desk. "These fake bills just keep coming and they don't stop coming. I'm fed up with this and I insist that we do something." @@HE@@ shows you one of the bogus notes, and continues, "I mean, look at this, her fingers are painted on her forehead!"
[effect] entire families are arrested for playing board games with fake cash

Hang about, if they're bad fakes, then how are they getting away with it?

Suggest changing the narrative here.

Also, I'd suggest you actually propose a solution rather than restate the problem in this option. Don't just say that the perpetrators have to be stopped: say what needs to be done to achieve this.

[option] "Why don't we go back to using the gold standard?" suggests @@RANDOMNAME@@, a gold magnate, sauntering into your office.

Minting coins with gold is not what the gold standard means. Good option, but needs phrasing properly.

"How about minting our coins with actual gold? Not only would the coins have intrinsic value, but all you need to do to verify their authenticity is a simple weight and displacement test. After that, all that glitters will be gold, and that's all we'll need to know."
[effect] coin inspectors have a habit of shouting "Eureka!" and running wildly in the street

I'd suggest instead

[effect]most @@CURRENCY@@ coins have bite marks in them

[option] "Another way would be to implant small microchips into our notes and coins," proposes @@RANDOMNAME@@, the Minister of Finance, showing you a prototype. "This would ensure that all genuine notes could be immediately verified with a short scan of the microchip. Of course, if they are exposed to the elements, the chip would likely stop working. But hey, that's just a concept, and I'm sure the notes could use a little change themselves."
[effect] dropped coins lose all of their monetary value

I like this, but please don't have people talk down their own options. The last two sentences should be cut.

The following option should then point out the biggest downside, which is that it'll cost ridiculous amounts to mint such coins. That'll require some shift in your narrative, as it's not a very artist thing to point out. Maybe move the microchip solution up one space, and have the pro-gold guy point out that. Something like "That's ridiculous - it'll cost you 20 @@CURRENCY@@ to mint a 1 @@CURRENCY@@ coin. Wouldn't it be simpler if a 1 @@CURRENCY@@ coin was worth 1 @@CURRENCY@@?", which would then segue into his actual position.

[option] "What a boring, utilitarian solution," snubs @@RANDOMNAME@@, an uppity artist, who is currently painting a mural on your ceiling. "The correct way should be to issue new notes and coins, and adorn them with elegant and intricate patterns. Not only will they be hard to copy, but they'll look fabulous as well. Only then will it be difficult for criminals to make a mould."
[effect] it costs thousands of @@CURRENCY@@ just to produce a single note

Naa, that effect line doesn't follow, as complex patterning is exactly the solution that real world mints use. Maybe:

[effect]shopkeepers use microscopes to verify if banknotes are real or fake

[option] "What's so wrong with making fake cash?" questions @@RANDOMNAME@@, a mysterious stranger wearing shades, looking pointedly in your direction. "If the government can print money, then why can't I? Sometimes, when I need to pay for gas, I realise that I'm out of dough. So I just make more on the go. Just ignore counterfeiting and the problem should go away, or something."
[effect] @@CURRENCY@@ is practically worthless after counterfeiting was legalised

This could instead be phrased as if the speaker actually believes in his position.

[Singapore no2]

Changes done.

[Australian rePublic]

RE: Title: How to print money?

[Singapore no2]

RE: Title: How to print money?

The joke that Shrek lived in a swamp, thus "swamped" with counterfeit cash.

The issue has a lot of All Star meme jokes.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Yeah, not totally sold on the title, I have to say. That will likely change somewhere down the line, and Aussie's title is as good as anything I can think of.

Otherwise, this draft looks totally ready to me. Feel free to send it in, or to let it brew.

[Singapore no2]

Yeah, not totally sold on the title, I have to say. That will likely change somewhere down the line, and Aussie's title is as good as anything I can think of.

Otherwise, this draft looks totally ready to me. Feel free to send it in, or to let it brew.

Ok. I will submit it (With the revised title)

[Australian rePublic]

Damn, you submitted this as I was posting about having one last read, well good luck

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Sorry, my fault Aussie.

Keep commenting by all means, and I can amend the draft backstage if the author wants me too. Just thought it was a done issue, so no point hanging about.

[Australian rePublic]

Not your fault CWA, mine, as I don't usually make these kinds of comments

My only two comments would be:

A) Option 3- but we already have gold coins! Specify that you're refering specifically to the material, not the colour
B) Option 4- maybe specify that the bank notes are made of polymere

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Not your fault CWA, mine, as I don't usually make these kinds of comments

My only two comments would be:

A) Option 3- but we already have gold coins! Specify that you're refering specifically to the material, not the colour

Great point, I can add a validity criteria to exclude the issue from nations that have gold as their currency.

B) Option 4- maybe specify that the bank notes are made of polymere

Will let Singapore make the call on that one.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Ah dumb me, living in the past...

Turns out that RFID chips in money are in fact a real thing, already used, and the costs aren't prohibitive at all.

Being an old man, I forget just how far electronics has come "since I were a boy".

That does change the narrative somewhat, as they're definitely not prone to being damaged by being dropped, and they're really cheap.

I'll TG you with some ideas, Singapore.

[Australian rePublic]

No. That's not what I meant. Australia has gold coins, the Euro has golcoimd coins, the USA has gold coins, but none of them are made of gold. "Gold coins" refers to the colour, not the material it's made of. Same with "silver coins" and "bronze coins"

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Sure, but Australia's currency isn't "the gold coin". You wouldn't put "gold" in your @@currency@@ field just because your one and two dollar coins are golden coloured.

If a currency is being proposed as being changed to "gold coins" by a "gold magnate" talking about "intrinsic value", I think it's pretty damn obvious we're talking about the material, not a gold-coloured coin from a gold-coloured magnate talking about the coin's spiritual essence.

[Singapore no2]

a gold-coloured magnate talking about the coin's spiritual essence.

Lol.

[Singapore no2]

All that glitters is gold,
Only shooting stars break the mould.

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

Congratulations, Singapore no2!

[Singapore no2]

Congratulations, Singapore no2!

Thanks, buddy! =)

[Australian rePublic]

Congratulations!

[Singapore no2]

Congratulations!

Hooray!

(Still waiting for the official entry into the issue list, so as to use that "for" pun in my signature.)